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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 4:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 9:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 550
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 16th Apr 19, 3:50 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Thank you so much for the support as always. Yes, I am still getting dizzy spells from the new med which is perfectly normal but not the best timing. With everything going on I tend to forget that I had crashed prior to this.

    I am trying not to 'go there' in my thoughts. Once they can stabilise the vasculitis I will feel better, I think the waiting for days on end for that to happen is the worst right now. It could take a full 10 days for them to do so, I need to attempt to relax.

    I have mopped the floors and cleaned the bath, I am now going to wash the windows. I think I have the cleanest house in Wales at this point!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Apr 19, 6:33 PM
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    calleyw
    Calleyw - I hope they get AM patched up and mended quickly. Has he got some baggy jumpers and tracksuit bottoms he can get in and out of one handed? Buttons and zips will be difficult.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy

    Dandy Candy,


    Sadly not the first time I have had to deal with this sort of thing. My ex husband had a stroke 13 years ago and his left hand was no functioning. Amazing what you can do by thinking out of the box


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 16th Apr 19, 6:38 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    After itching for a day I noticed that I now have eczema all over my face and shoulders. I think I might be a bit stressed!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 16th Apr 19, 6:46 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    WaS, re the penguin.... Mr JM said you are such a long way from anything like that. And the ventilator isn't actually life support as he CAN breathe for himself - the ventilator is helping his lungs to heal at the moment and breathing for him while he's in the coma healing. And it does sound as if he can come out of the coma pretty well from the 'frisky' comment. I honestly think you can file that one under 'things not to worry about'.
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

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    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Apr 19, 7:08 PM
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    calleyw
    After itching for a day I noticed that I now have eczema all over my face and shoulders. I think I might be a bit stressed!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles

    WaS,



    Massive hugs. You need to take care of yourself as WaSP is having his needs taken care of.


    Its hard as you are stressed up to the eyeballs. But take a day at a time. Maybe even set timers to remind yourself to eat and drink.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 16th Apr 19, 7:44 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    WaS Keep in mind JMs post re the ventilator. Good point from MR JM.


    Do you often have eczema flares? Dd gets those and sometimes psoriasis flares when flaring or under stress. Am I right thinking you also have Psoriatic Arthritis . I've a feeling you mentioned it in the past. Anyway if you have any lotions creams etc among your meds it's worth digging them out to calm the rash.


    I've been meaning to ask you if you have any garden space with your flat. If so you could look at small apple trees online and choose a small one and plan to start planting those trees in your signature once WaSp is home again. The miniature varieties can be grown in a large pot ,many supermarkets sell them pretty cheaply.


    pollyx
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 16th Apr 19, 8:22 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    My life is doing ok, drained at work though I am gradually getting more confident at it annoyed at social work though told me as I am working I don't need support,


    I am very drained in evenings, I also found out that relative of mine is sending his partners family a lot of cash (hundreds a month) but not bothered to pay me back a penny he owes me.
    Originally posted by dekaspace

    Dekaspace I'm pleased to hear you're settling in the job. You're bound to be feeling rather drained as you adjust to being up and out , becoming familiar with new faces and routines.


    You sound much more positive too. I'm not sure what support you feel you need from the social worker so can't advise . Perhaps they have noticed a change too and are seeing how you manage.


    Did you manage to sort out a more suitable sleep apnea mask when you went to your clinic appointment? I did reply to your post on the OS forum but don't know if you saw it. Gaffer tape is not the answer so I hope they've provided a different kit.


    I think something that would help you is to accept your relative will not be paying you back the money he owes you. He's besotted by a financial abuser which meant he was treating you as a cash machine to help meet the very dubious requests from her.
    Some years ago I was lending money to someone waiting for a legacy of over 300k. I must have loaned over 3k . They got the legacy,bought a house and a new 4x4 although they already owned a 2 year old car. They never repaid the money I'd lent.. As they were very close it had an awful effect on me. I would toss and turn . It was so upsetting it was making me ill. After a few months I had to let it go,cut any contact and start to heal.


    My advice is if he contacts you don't respond. Tell family or others who may feed back information to you to stop . Don't look him up to see what he's doing. That's the way to stop him impacting on you and to begin to heal yourself.
    You are on a new path and making progress . Keep going and don't look back.
    polly
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 16th Apr 19, 8:41 PM
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    dandy-candy
    WaS can you take an antihistamine so you don't itch yourself and make it worse? Try not to get too sweaty with the house work as that won't help. I hope you have had something nourishing for dinner too.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 17th Apr 19, 10:17 AM
    • 5,447 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    Just popping in to say the lumbar puncture went OK yesterday, only thing I felt was the local anasthetic going in. My friend got very excited about seeing the ultrasound of my spine, which I couldn't see


    Aside from thirstiness and a mild backache I'm fine today.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Apr 19, 10:46 AM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Glad it went ok, ono. You were so brave, I would have been sobbing the minute I walked into the room!

    The inspection has been and gone and it went fine, that's that for 6 months. The man was so nice I didn't want him to leave, I think I'm a bit lonely!

    I popped to the doctors this morning. It isn't eczema, it's psoriasis. I have just never had it on my back and face before. It is definitely a stress reaction and he said expect the Psoriastic Arthritis to follow. I have creams and we are going to check it again in a week, if it is worse it is my turn to have some steroids.

    WaSp has just begun his first plasma exchange of the day. When it is done in 5 hours they are going to briefly wake him up again for a few minutes. Then back to sleep and dialysis.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 17th Apr 19, 1:22 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Ono - glad it went well, and I hope you get plenty of rest today.

    WaS - glad the inspector was nice. I totally get the lonely thing, once my car broke down and the tow truck driver got it to the garage and then drove me home. We sat outside my house for half an hour having a chat, I ended up giving him a £10 tip more for listening to me than the lift!
    Iím glad they are starting WaSp plasma exchange, I really hope he improves quickly. Iím sure all the sleep will be doing him good.

    A wobbly day for me today, very nervy and trying to rein it in. Iíve been drafting an important email but have decided not to send it today as Iím in a funny mood and need to think carefully rather that just rush it off.

    Iíve messaged my counsellor for an appointment and not heard back yet which is unlike her. Iíve been googling online for other ones. My current one was recommended by my GP, so I donít know if I should go through them for a different one if I donít hear back. I was actually thinking of all the emotional stuff I will have to get out with a new one and it set me off crying as I hate talking about past stuff. Yes I know itís not a great approach to therapy!

    Hugs to those in need x
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Apr 19, 3:21 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Hang in there Dandy and well done for being proactive and looking up other counsellors just in case. I do know what you mean about starting again with someone new. I have seen so many mental health workers and they always want you to talk about everything from scratch. It can be very stressful.

    The hospital social work department just called me. The consultants have talked to them about how far away I am from the hospital. They are going to see if they can get an ambulance minibus to pick me up a couple of times a week. Usually it is for people with appointments only living in rural areas but they think they might be able to make an exception.

    They asked if there is anything else I need? I don't think there is really, I can order food and make it to my doctors and pharmacist so I don't think I require anything. Do let me know if you can think of any other support I might need please.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 17th Apr 19, 4:26 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    That's very promising news about the ambulance minibus WaS. Lets hope they can manage to set the arrangement up. It will certainly make you much happier and less isolated.


    I'll need to think about anything else you may need. One thing that could be useful is knowing of a quiet space either in the hospital or in the grounds that can be a little retreat if you get anxious or just need a bit of quiet time . Every hospital we've been in can offer that breathing space.
    I don't know if it's too big a challenge but you will be allowed to use the staff restaurant. Prices are less than other cafes etc in the building.


    Things to take with you are any meds you will need during your visits . Bottled water or other drinks to stay hydrated . Much cheaper than buying it in the hospital .


    A pen and pad in case you want to jot anything down is useful if you're being given information .


    Food if you can't cope with the staff restaurant . I'm assuming as well as picking you up they will also return you home.


    They really are going the extra mile no pun intended .


    I'll be back later ,need to eat . So do you if you haven't so far.
    pollyx
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 17th Apr 19, 5:02 PM
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    calleyw
    WaS,


    Thats good about the transport will save money and mean you can go and see WaSP more often.


    At this end no surgery tomorrow. Seems they might do it over the weekend!!!!


    AM is in good spirits and saying it is what it is. He showered today and I had to tape a bin liner to his arm


    Ono, glad to hear it went ok. Not nice but now its over and done with.


    Hugs and squishes and hand shakes all around.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Apr 19, 5:09 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Aw, good for AM being positive Calley!

    When WaSp was admitted the form he had to fill in asked if he was carer, Polly. When he ticked yes it then asked for the details of the person he cares for. The hospital looks out for partners too if they have care needs, it is all very supportive.

    Ah yes, food. I suppose I should eat something!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 17th Apr 19, 8:25 PM
    • 40,752 Posts
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    Pyxis
    Sorry I haven't been on here much, WaS. But I'be not been good.

    Am thinking of you though.


    Ono, glad you survived the procedure. Fingers crossed for the results.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
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    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 17th Apr 19, 8:36 PM
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    xXMessedUpXx
    Sorry to hear WASP in in hospital WaS BUT hes in the right place, they are looking after him and you have done amazingly to cope with this all (((hugs)))
    I've had quite a few ready meals from iceland if you have one of those if you're still needing something quick and easy to eat?
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    Weight loss attempt 23002 7lbs/127lbs lost
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 17th Apr 19, 9:53 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    I spent ages earlier writing a very long reply to a post by dandy this afternoon . All attempts to recover it from the mse ether have failed. In the end I had to remove the tick from the post I was quoting to post at all.
    I'm out tomorrow but will catch up. Hope things improve Pyxis, It's good to hear from you MU I hope things are ok with you.


    Hoping for a restful night for you WaS.
    polly
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 17th Apr 19, 10:05 PM
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    calleyw
    A
    Ah yes, food. I suppose I should eat something!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles

    WaS,


    Please do. Even if you don't feel like it. You need to keep your strength up. So that means rest, eating and fluids. its so easy to let it slip when you are stressed.


    Yes AM is being really good about it all. I have made him do stuff like put his own socks on etc. As we have weeks of him being one handed. I have threatened him with boot camp at my ex's. because if he can do it anyone can



    Everyone get some rest.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 17th Apr 19, 11:50 PM
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    dandy-candy
    WaS - I’m so happy that they are working on transport for you, that must be such a relief for you financially I can’t think of anything useful for you to ask the social worker right now, it’s good that they are there though if you need them.

    Polly - Sorry your post got eaten, thank you for taking the time to write to me.

    Finally got a message from my therapist at nearly 11pm! She will see me on Wednesday which should be fine as I will have DH with me for the long weekend and he keeps me distracted. I really thought I would stay up in bed this evening but he got me to watch that Eddie th Eagle film on tv which was light viewing and I got a bit of knitting done too so that was good.

    Hugs to all and a big one to Pyxis x
    Last edited by dandy-candy; 18-04-2019 at 7:08 AM.
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