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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,173Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 533
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 21st Nov 18, 1:20 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Firstly hugs to those who need them xx

    I spoke to my cousin today for the first time in 2 years. She tentatively asked if I was still not talking to my sister (I'm not) and if I ever would again. I ended up going on a rant about what a cow my sister is and how I never would. I repeated conversations I'd had with her verbatim and just poured it all out.
    After I got of the phon I just thought omg I'm so not dealing with this even thought it's been 7 years and I've had tons of counselling. I have undoubtedly had some really bad hands dealt to me in the past but what stops me moving on and my mh getting better is me. I just can't let go and it's actually embarrassing how I'm still living in the past. Does anyone have any advice on how to let things go?
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 21st Nov 18, 2:23 PM
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    Pyxis
    Firstly hugs to those who need them xx

    I spoke to my cousin today for the first time in 2 years. She tentatively asked if I was still not talking to my sister (I'm not) and if I ever would again. I ended up going on a rant about what a cow my sister is and how I never would. I repeated conversations I'd had with her verbatim and just poured it all out.
    After I got of the phon I just thought omg I'm so not dealing with this even thought it's been 7 years and I've had tons of counselling. I have undoubtedly had some really bad hands dealt to me in the past but what stops me moving on and my mh getting better is me. I just can't let go and it's actually embarrassing how I'm still living in the past. Does anyone have any advice on how to let things go?
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    It could just be that your cousin picked off a well-healed scab, rather than you're not dealing with it.

    That's the problem with families; if there is still some contact with other members, it's a lot harder to put it behind you, because the others keep raking it up.

    The way I've dealt with similar is to field questions with a simple "I'd rather not talk about that, thanks", and simply to not talk about it.

    I don't know whether that's the right thing to do, but it does avoid the rant button being pressed.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 21st Nov 18, 9:22 PM
    • 17,351 Posts
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    xXMessedUpXx
    Think i may be a little.....up. Not had more than 5 hours sleep the last 2 days (Swain is off work atm so bedtime for him is about 6am, he forgot i had work!) so that might be behind it, but i have a doctors appointment tomorrow so i'll mention it then.

    Got talking to one of the homeless guys outsode work and i feel bad for him. Hes actually a nice bloke once you get talking to him. We talked a lot about mental health (he has schizophrenia) and i told him i have bipolar and we chatted for ages. It really hits home because at my worst, in different circumstances that could have been me. Someone gave him a box of donuts and he came in and gave them to use because he said he wouldn't eat them all, i gave him a free coffee today. I'm in a bit of "its my mission to save everyone" frame of mind atm, should probably mention that to my doctor.

    WaS sorry the assessment is the day after your birthday, and sorry its worrying you so much. I do completely understand why, its quite terrifying when you rely on something to make life better/bearable and you feel you could lose it all. Im amazed my renewal isnt here yet. I'm hoping it comes after the mental health assessment so i at least have some recent eviddence to back me up. My bipolar certainly hasn;t improved, i've spent nearly all year either manic or depressed with barely any stable periods inbetween, i think i might be rapid cycyling. Apparently most people with bipolar average 2 episode a year, this is my 7th or 8th episode so far.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    Weight loss attempt 23002 7lbs/127lbs lost
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 21st Nov 18, 10:08 PM
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    dandy-candy
    MU I'm so glad you are keeping on top of things and recognising when you need to talk to your dr, well done I hope they can give you good advice and adjust you meds if necessary.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 21st Nov 18, 10:39 PM
    • 17,351 Posts
    • 45,717 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    MU I'm so glad you are keeping on top of things and recognising when you need to talk to your dr, well done I hope they can give you good advice and adjust you meds if necessary.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    My anti depressant will probably be reduced, hopefuly shouldnt trigger another depression as im only a bit up and not full blown swinging from the chandeliers manic yet


    I've been up and down for so long i can;t remember what stability feels like
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    Weight loss attempt 23002 7lbs/127lbs lost
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 23rd Nov 18, 3:36 AM
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    • 150,533 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Sunny, that sounds bad.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 23rd Nov 18, 1:09 PM
    • 8,995 Posts
    • 16,458 Thanks
    calleyw
    Afternoon everyone,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all round.



    Well its been two weeks today AM went away for his course. And it seems that things can't seem to stop going wrong that cost money.



    My phone decided to be stupid and the screen broke making it unusable. I am terrible when it comes to buying things like that. So I have had no phone for about a week. Ordered one yesterday arrives sunday.


    Got to go out in the car and it wont start!!! Looks like the battery is dead. cheapest was 115 for a car battery Thank goodness for black friday as they have 40% off. Fingers crossed that will solve it as my dad is coming down in while to help collect and fit.


    Oh my mum did go and have her afternoon tea about 3 weeks ago. And neglected to tell me. She enjoyed it I think.


    Also finally got the dog barrier from my neighbour. It nearly ended up in the bin as it was a right fiddle to fit and I really did not want to have to get in the boot as I know what the dog has done in it


    Just when I think things are going ok


    I do apologise for this being a me me me post. just needed to get it off my chest and out of my head.



    I hope everyone can stay strong as I know lots of people are having issues at the moment. And hope they get sorted very quickly with the least amount of stress.


    Everyone take care and try and eat, drink plenty of fluids and get as much rest/sleep as you can.


    yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 23rd Nov 18, 2:50 PM
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    heartbreak_star
    Oh Calley, bless you! They say these things come in threes, so you've definitely had your three there. Lots of love!

    SI, that sounds like a horrid situation. I hope you are alright

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Starmer4PM #Bremainer
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 23rd Nov 18, 2:52 PM
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    calleyw
    Update: For the princely sum of 64 and a few pints for my dad for fitting.


    I now have a car that starts.


    At least I can now pick up AM when he finishes the course


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 23rd Nov 18, 3:12 PM
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    • 16,458 Thanks
    calleyw
    I'm on a massive hyper and rather disorientated, but home and in one(ish) piece. No more deliveries or workmen, so will hopefully have a nice long quiet period to recover.

    Calley - I know the feeling. I think (touch wood) that I'm finally done haemorrhaging cash and I can start rebuilding my savings again, but I was starting to think I'm need some kind of clotting agent for a while there.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals

    Sunny,


    Sorry to hear you feel like that. Do you have any fave calming things you do e.g colouring, cleaning etc.


    If you like drink hot drinks might be worth making one sitting on the sofa with with a nice fluffy blanket and settling down for a while.


    My partners parents offered to pay for the battery as its his car. You can guess my answer thank you for the offer but no.


    Now the phone is sorted and on its away. Much faffing as been meaning to buy a new one but when the screen has squiggly lines all over it and you can't press on anything. Time for a new one. Got one from amazon. More than I wanted to pay but I can pay for it over 5 months interest free. Ordered a skin type case but will also get a wallet type case as well. Belt and braces so I don't damage it again. This is my third phone in 17 months. Yes please don't ask. Still paying for the first one until june next year. Good job its only a 5 a month.


    The next purchase is a new fitness watch. And as you can guess I am faffing again. As I have nice watches but don't wear them as I want to know how many steps I have done. And I want it to look like a watch and not just a strip of plastic on my wrist. yes I am fussy mare


    But might defer it and let AM buy it for me as a xmas pressie. As according to him I never let him spend any money on me. He should be grateful that I don't want expensive stuff all the time


    Take care


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 25th Nov 18, 9:44 AM
    • 1,882 Posts
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    dandy-candy
    My son and his friends are renting our old house off us. Yesterday the washing machine broke and I ordered a new one to be delivered today. I told him he'd get a call at 8 with his delivery time. I got the email saying between 7-11 am. I rang him 7 times, no reply, then I get an email saying they tried to deliver and no one answered the door. I'm livid. At 25 I was married with 3 kids to look after, he's 26 and can't even answer a bloody door. Now I'm going to have to sit there tomorrow for the redelivery because they will be at work. Stress levels are up.
    • Solarjunkie
    • By Solarjunkie 25th Nov 18, 9:56 AM
    • 359 Posts
    • 1,325 Thanks
    Solarjunkie
    Dandy, can you delay the delivery by a week or so? Give them the inconvenience of not having a washing machine before you have the inconvenience of sitting there waiting for delivery!
    Deal with things as they are, not as they should be.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 25th Nov 18, 10:21 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Dandy, can you delay the delivery by a week or so? Give them the inconvenience of not having a washing machine before you have the inconvenience of sitting there waiting for delivery!
    Originally posted by Solarjunkie
    Honestly I'm really tempted!
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 25th Nov 18, 5:15 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Oh, Dandy how annoying! I am with the idea of making them wait a while for re-delivery.

    I am about to start a very hard week. On Monday the gas and electricity meters will be swapped over to smart meters. This will be better for me because it means I can do everything online and not have to talk to anyone but it means someone will be here for hours. I am going to try to hide in the bedroom.

    Tuesday is my cardiologists appointment. I don't really have a problem with the appointment itself but I do have big problems with getting there and people seeing me in the waiting room. One doctor I can handle, groups of strangers feels terrifying.

    Then Thursday is my PIP assessment which I am absolutely dreading. I have never had one before and have half convinced myself the person will hate me on sight. I so want to cancel it for another time but then it will just be longer to panic so it is better I get it over and done with. If I lose the benefit and WaSp loses carers allowance I have no idea what we will do.

    I have a birthday on Wednesday, I am not doing anything other than reading everything I can about PIP and worrying a lot. I can't wait for next weekend when all of this will be over.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 25th Nov 18, 7:19 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Was for the dr appointment could you take a book to read while you wait? I find I'm quite oblivious to my surroundings when I get engrossed in a book.
    Good luck with PiP. Let us know how it goes (hugs)
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 26th Nov 18, 2:25 PM
    • 4,822 Posts
    • 4,517 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Been so drained in past 10 days since it got dark and cold honestly sleeping 12-14 hours a day not out of laziness but because no matter what time I all asleep when I get to wake I instantly fall back to sleep cant keep eyes open. I suppose I need to go back to having a alarm clock.
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 26th Nov 18, 3:50 PM
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    heartbreak_star
    I think you need to go back to the doctor Deka, that's not good

    I have some happy news for a gloomy Monday - I passed my probationary period at work with flying colours <3

    Relief doesn't even begin to describe it

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Starmer4PM #Bremainer
    • geminilady
    • By geminilady 26th Nov 18, 4:09 PM
    • 1,777 Posts
    • 7,451 Thanks
    geminilady
    I think you need to go back to the doctor Deka, that's not good

    I have some happy news for a gloomy Monday - I passed my probationary period at work with flying colours <3

    Relief doesn't even begin to describe it

    HBS x
    Originally posted by heartbreak_star
    Well done
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 27th Nov 18, 12:59 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Congratulations HBS!

    Well, the smart meter installation was cancelled and now won't happen until January. I am back from the cardiologist, I took your advice SI and waited in the car. I walked into the room and burst into tears because I was so anxious about being seen by people which was rather embarrassing. An ECG was done and a round of blood tests, focusing on various types of anemia. The results come back Thursday and we will work out what's next from there.

    I will now try to relax and hopefully enjoy tomorrow before the horrid PIP assessment on Thursday. I have made it halfway through all the nasty things this week.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 28th Nov 18, 4:23 AM
    • 40,668 Posts
    • 150,533 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Happy Birthday, WaS!



    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
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