Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,158Posts
    • 21,983Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 533
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 10th Nov 18, 6:25 AM
    • 39,830 Posts
    • 146,745 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I believe Dekaspace has aspergers (sorry if I am wrong) which might have a bearing on how they deal with stressful situations.
    Originally posted by annandale
    Yes I have aspergers as well as other things on top,
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Yes, we do know that Deka has Asperger's, and other issues, which is why we have all been trying very, very hard to be as helpful and supportive as possible.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 12th Nov 18, 11:25 AM
    • 7,689 Posts
    • 16,963 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    HBS,


    No as I reminded her about it a few weeks ago and as I told her she needed to book in advance. Where she retorted that she was not that stupid


    Yours


    Calley x
    Originally posted by calleyw
    Oh my, well that's you told haha!

    Definitely wouldn't spend that much or get something quite that nice again...

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 12th Nov 18, 1:07 PM
    • 8,905 Posts
    • 16,199 Thanks
    calleyw
    Oh my, well that's you told haha!

    Definitely wouldn't spend that much or get something quite that nice again...

    HBS x
    Originally posted by heartbreak_star
    HBS,


    still not phoned to ask as dreading the reply. i bought this as she has never been in that hotel. and she never really treats herself. so wanted to do something nice for her.


    i did get her afternoon tea for birthday 3 years ago at the local garden centre. but this hotel is a lot posher.


    don't know what my families issues are. like totally blanking AM's birthday. they have never even asked when it is. And we have been together 2 years. he does not mind but i do. its slightly my choice of who i choose to share my life with. mind you annoys me that my dad made a sarky comment i was a day late with my mums birthday card and present. had it in my head it was friday and not thursday. i felt like saying while AM is still waiting and its been nearly 5 months!!!!





    my parents are not the best couple to take an example of being happily married. there is stuff i know about my dad. that i believe my mum has no idea about. i will not tell and not much point as it happened over 50 years ago.



    and they wonder why i don't bother with them much


    everyone take care


    yours


    calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 13th Nov 18, 9:26 AM
    • 39,830 Posts
    • 146,745 Thanks
    Pyxis
    .
    Interesting programme about PENGUINS!


    Next Sunday, 18th November, BBC 1 at 20:00, as part of the "Dynasties" wildlife series.

    "Learn how to identify an individual from their unique characteristics".

    Apparently there is a penguin with an almost completely black chest! A 'melanistic' penguin.


    It all sounds very interesting.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 13th Nov 18, 11:10 AM
    • 5,158 Posts
    • 21,983 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Oooh penguins, I might try to watch that Pyxis, thank you! I remember when I had the wildlife experience and met penguins, they were surprisingly curious and gently nipped me constantly.

    I saw the doctor for the first time here today. It seems some of my medication might be changing. He pointed out that Wales does not charge for prescriptions (and therefore they lose that money) so doctors tend to opt for the cheapest medication for the job. Apparently 3 of my pills are very expensive. They may stop my rosacea medication entirely as they see it as cosmetic. I did point out I am paranoid enough as it is without trying to go out with a scabbed and bleeding face! Hopefully the substituted medications for the other things will be fine but I am panicking a bit because I tend to react very oddly to many medications and there are only a few I can take. It took a long time and a lot of side effects to find the current balance.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 13th Nov 18, 11:41 AM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    We fell foul off the cosmetic thing yesterday WaS

    OH has a large cyst on his chest, it's been there for about 20 years, it rubs on his tops and occasionally leaks the FOULEST smelling stuff.

    Yesterday we went to a hospital appointment

    Met a doctor who said it was cosmetic, and as OH had cost the NHS about 3 million pounds for his ITU stay last year it was tough.

    Still furious
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 13th Nov 18, 12:08 PM
    • 838 Posts
    • 2,024 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    Yes I have aspergers as well as other things on top, had to be strong today I was seeing if the messages slowed down, if it does continue I may have to change number or at least I will keep the number but use another phone and sim I have instead, my friends and parents have it and currently its the backup number for DWP and bank etc so that way they can message all they want.

    The messages I ignored today did annoy me a bit though, ones telling me that they don't want to fall out with me over this (the cheek, when they owe me money) playing on my guilt saying its for the girlfriends relative who is on a breathing machine in hospital and its for medical costs its "only 20" I will get cash next week when they start new job, even hint they have to go to loan shark if I don't do this which will cause him more problems.

    I was drained today and slept 12 hours due to all the stress, after the weekend Im going to use my other phone for a while.
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    Greetings fellow Aspie,
    As i havnt read all the posts has it been suggested at all that you should contact the Police regarding this relative as its harassment.
    When they see all the missed calls and /or messages ect daily, they will be asked to stop, if they dont it can mean jail time. If anything will stop them, this will.
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 13th Nov 18, 7:23 PM
    • 39,830 Posts
    • 146,745 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Just popping in to tell you something.

    A friend of mine had her ESA revoked, so she appealed against it, and several months later attended the Tribunal hearing yesterday.

    The revocation and the following months leading up to the appeal, plus all the forms and paperwork caused her an enormous amount of stress, which I could see drastically affected her health, (as if she needed that on top of all her problems!).

    She nearly gave up on the whole thing a couple of times, due to the stress, but she did soldier on with it.
    She said that if a friend hadn't agreed to go to the Hearing with her, she wouldn't have gone, as the stress was too much.
    On the day of the hearing she was a total wreck, and she was convinced she wouldn't get any joy.

    Anyway, the Tribunal agreed straight away that she should get ESA!
    And then went on to consider whether she should get Support as well.
    Because she was there, and giving verbal evidence, which did emphasise her problems, they also decided she should get the Support element too!
    (The DWP hadn't sent a representative to defend their decision).

    So, this is just to say that, if you are in a similar position, don't give up hope, stay strong, and do, do, do, go to the hearing, however awful you are feeling, and however scary it seems. The Tribunal judge is a barrister, completely impartial, and very fair.
    Take a friend with you, especially if they can corroborate your difficulties and give personal examples of how those problems affected you.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 13th Nov 18, 7:31 PM
    • 758 Posts
    • 2,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    You mean they put her in the Support Group? That's a normal part of the decision process, not something extra they've done for her. The three possible outcomes are a) fit for work, b) ESA work-related activity group (WRAG) or c) ESA support group.


    I absolutely agree with the sentiment, though. Took me over two years to get PIP, including an appeal to the Upper Tribunal. It was incredibly stressful (hence my meltdown a few months back), but I'm very glad I persevered.
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 13th Nov 18, 9:43 PM
    • 3,518 Posts
    • 10,688 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    I'm off the ADs.

    Just working on the ADHD meds now.

    No appreciable difference in mood.

    I've lost enough weight to be a size 12 (ish).

    WaS, you seem to have found your niche! Fabulous.

    Dekaspace. Tell everyone who needs to know, your 'other phone', leave your relative phoning and texting the old number and talk to the police about his harassment.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 14th Nov 18, 2:18 AM
    • 5,158 Posts
    • 21,983 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    So sorry to hear that Melly, OH has been through enough, you both have.

    That is good timing for me Pyxis as I was informed I will be having a PIP assessment soon. They are doing it at my home which is something at least. I am absolutely dreading it, knowing my luck I will panic so much that I end up catatonic throughout it and they will think I am not cooperating! This will be my first assessment, I have no idea what to expect or even if the assessor will know anything about my mental illnesses. Panic!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 14th Nov 18, 11:12 AM
    • 758 Posts
    • 2,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    I have a workman in my flat and I'm trying to pretend he's not there so I don't vomit on him.




    WaS -


    The assessment is basically just asking the same questions that are on the form. They may try to push you toward yes/no, but don't be bullied and answer as fully as you need to. If you're not able to do something reliably, answer "no, I can only do it on 1 day a week" rather than "yes, I can only do it one day a week" (the PIP regs say that if you can't do it reliably, you can't do it).


    If you wait a few days after the assessment, you can call the DWP and get a copy of the assessor's full report. The DWP Decision Makers generally just follow their advice, so it'll give you a chance to start putting your reconsideration request together if you need to.


    Even if it does go badly and even if they uphold the decision after reconsideration, that's still not the end of the road and you can appeal (and most of those who appeal win), so don't worry, just do your best. The Benefits board is great for advice on this stuff if you get stuck or worried, as a lot of folk on there have either gone through it themselves or have an in depth knowledge of the process/legislation.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Nov 18, 7:38 PM
    • 4,698 Posts
    • 4,328 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Haven't heard from relative since weekend so thats good, yesterday saw a nice ex neighbour whom I hadn't seen in 2 years on bus and had a chat, today went with another friend for a meal.


    Been a little drained though, and doctor has said now I have been on the meds a month he has prescribed me the stronger dose (double the previous strength) going to wait until Sunday when my current dose runs out rather than start tomorrow.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 14th Nov 18, 9:39 PM
    • 17,278 Posts
    • 45,508 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    So sorry to hear that Melly, OH has been through enough, you both have.

    That is good timing for me Pyxis as I was informed I will be having a PIP assessment soon. They are doing it at my home which is something at least. I am absolutely dreading it, knowing my luck I will panic so much that I end up catatonic throughout it and they will think I am not cooperating! This will be my first assessment, I have no idea what to expect or even if the assessor will know anything about my mental illnesses. Panic!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    One thing to remember WaS is that you probably have lots and lots of medical evidence, Christ i was awarded it and the most recent psych lettters for me were 6 years old and they still awarded me it. Try not to worry, i'm sure it will go fine. I know its not nice to focus on the negatives when we try our best to ignore them but you just tell them everything and i'm sure it will be ok.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,750Posts Today

7,586Users online

Martin's Twitter