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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,164Posts
    • 22,019Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 527
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 15th Oct 18, 2:38 PM
    • 4,727 Posts
    • 4,404 Thanks
    dekaspace
    That relative that owes me cash, guess what they sent me £50 bank transfer but then 10 minutes later says can I send that same £50 to his "girlfriends" family abroad.


    So in other words that cash he has "paid me back" which is like 1/300 of what he actually owes me he wants me to spend on him and go out of my way to do this online!


    Cheeky.
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 15th Oct 18, 3:13 PM
    • 7,727 Posts
    • 17,057 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Hello you lovely lot!

    Hugs/squishes/handshakes/positivity to all who need or require

    Melly - extra loves for you. Enjoy animal snuggles

    New car is GREAT! Parking scared me a bit to start with, but I love the car so very much looking forward to taking it on a long journey.

    I have also booked a weekend away with some friends including a trip to the Harry Potter studios! I've not been for ages, and they now have the Forbidden Forest set up. I can't wait!!

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #Starmer4PM
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 15th Oct 18, 3:14 PM
    • 7,727 Posts
    • 17,057 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Hello you lovely lot!

    Hugs/squishes/handshakes/positivity to all who need or require

    Melly - extra loves for you. Enjoy animal snuggles

    New car is GREAT! Parking scared me a bit to start with, but I love the car so very much looking forward to taking it on a long journey.

    I have also booked a weekend away with some friends including a trip to the Harry Potter studios! I've not been for ages, and they now have the Forbidden Forest set up. I can't wait!!

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #Starmer4PM
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 15th Oct 18, 9:04 PM
    • 4,727 Posts
    • 4,404 Thanks
    dekaspace
    A bit of info on my neighbour, she knocked on my door upset I went to council and told me her family has arrived from Poland, her brother, 2 other family members, 2 kids and staying for 10 days, so thats 4 adults and 4 kids in a 2 bedroom property (hmm, the "brother" is someone she told me before is her husband, then boyfriend, then babysitter) and its cruel to make her family stay in a hotel, and she can't help the kids noise plus its nice to have kids play etc.


    Its been basically 8am-midnight noise since they arrived! Today wasn't as bad as had 2 hours in afternoon of silence but apart from that rowdy people even after the complaint.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 16th Oct 18, 8:07 PM
    • 39,982 Posts
    • 147,510 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I hate my brain. I'm going to penguin the next bit for my paranoid ramblings:


    [
    [/
    [/ know I need to get some kind of social support in place, but the Council form asks for my GP and I don't have one right now due to my surgery's shenanigans. I don't even know if the Council are the right people. I just need someone who can sort stuff out for me when I'm overloaded and drive me to doctor's appointments if I ever manage to get a doctor.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals
    ((((((((((((((((((((Sunny Intervals))))))))))))))))))))))


    Trust me, you did the right thing in moving. This is just the stress of moving catching up with you now that the first rush of adrenaline has dissipated.

    Be kind to yourself.
    Last edited by Pyxis; 16-10-2018 at 8:09 PM.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 16th Oct 18, 8:18 PM
    • 17,313 Posts
    • 45,602 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    I just wrote a letter to my MP

    Universal Credit has been talked about a lot recently and the managed migration side is stressing me out. I already feel panicky as i know there is no way i would cope under UC so i wrote to my MP explaining my situation and asked him to fight it (hes Labour and generally voted in favour of disabled people/benefits.

    I'm amazed the PIP renewal hasn't come though the door yet (did have a panic attack when i came home to a brown envelope but its just my nhs exemption letter), generally they come after me after a year (2 year award), well bring it on. My bipolar hasn't gotten any better, if anything its worse than last year. Which reminds me i really need to call the MH team tomorrow. I did have an appointment with my GP but i cancelled it because i was still angry that he made me suffer another week of mania to the point i thought i was going psychotic all because he "doesn't believe in sleeping tablets" that and the fcat he basically told me to sleep off a manic episode. Plus he was useless when i saw him and i was suicidal and wanting to self harm, he just increased my meds and told me to come back in a month.

    And breathe.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • annandale
    • By annandale 18th Oct 18, 11:41 AM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 2,853 Thanks
    annandale
    I would say try not to worry about uc until you are migrated over. It's only if you are in the all work category that they expect you to jobsearch and work 35 hours a week.

    They are slowing down the migration next year. But only a change of govt might see it scrapped, I don't believe Labour have plans to scrap it though. Its cost too much to set up. Their official stance is pause and fix

    If you are not placed in the all work category due to health issues you will not be expected to work 35 hours a week.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 18th Oct 18, 9:39 PM
    • 17,313 Posts
    • 45,602 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Well i spoke to the mental health team today and im now on the waiting list for mental health assessment. On the one hand ive been begging and fighting for more support for the past 5 years,on the other i feel bad that i've basically not been able to manage it on my own and its hard to admit that.

    I explained to them that while i have insight and ways to cope with the depression i have little insight into the mania side and no way to cope with that, also mentioned my issues with my GP. The guy i spoke to was lovely though, he did say it might take a few weeks but told me if i need more help at anytime to ring them and they;d do their best to help.

    mood is....lowish. I'm gonna see how my mood goes over the weekend and if its any worse or im not feeling better next week i will bite the bullet and go back to my gp. my anti depressant probably needs increasing but with that comes the risk of mania. Luckily i still have some zopiclone left after the last episode so worst case scenario i'll take one if my mood does go up.

    Had a bit of an accident at work yesterday, i managed to break and smash a glass front! It shattered everywhere! Luckily there were no customers in the shop, but we had to close early for health and safety reasons.Thankfully everyone has been ok with me, even if i do now have a reputation for destroying things


    i'll try not to worry about UC, theres nothing to say it will 100% go ahead yet, and nothing to say id be in the first lot transferred (i imagine they would focus on the more simple jsa claiments first before they get to disabled and single parents etc-the more complicated claims)over so i'll try and stay calm.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 20th Oct 18, 10:57 PM
    • 5,164 Posts
    • 22,019 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Hi all!

    Quick update - I love Wales and I love village life so far! It is so, so quiet and I feel much safer and far less paranoid. I managed to register with a new doctor all by myself! Now granted the doctors office is practically opposite my flat and there was no one in there but the receptionist (I got WaSp to check first) but that is huge for me! It is the first time I have been out of doors alone for 11 years.

    On the not so bright side the Council Tax have lost my records so the case is now with a supervisor. This is nothing compared to the DLA/PIP office whio have failed 4 times to send my details to Wales resulting in an emergency case manager now getting involved after the DWP supervisor did it wrong too. It seems moving countries has thrown off both departments and there is much confusion.

    I am coping with the above surprisingly well though because I just feel so much happier! My next task that I am setting for myself is to be brave enough to get to the door to hand out sweeties at Halloween. We were told the children in this village all dress up and as I have never seen that before I really want to be able to see them.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 21st Oct 18, 6:49 AM
    • 39,982 Posts
    • 147,510 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Hi all!

    Quick update - I love Wales and I love village life so far! It is so, so quiet and I feel much safer and far less paranoid. I managed to register with a new doctor all by myself! Now granted the doctors office is practically opposite my flat and there was no one in there but the receptionist (I got WaSp to check first) but that is huge for me! It is the first time I have been out of doors alone for 11 years.

    On the not so bright side the Council Tax have lost my records so the case is now with a supervisor. This is nothing compared to the DLA/PIP office whio have failed 4 times to send my details to Wales resulting in an emergency case manager now getting involved after the DWP supervisor did it wrong too. It seems moving countries has thrown off both departments and there is much confusion.

    I am coping with the above surprisingly well though because I just feel so much happier! My next task that I am setting for myself is to be brave enough to get to the door to hand out sweeties at Halloween. We were told the children in this village all dress up and as I have never seen that before I really want to be able to see them.
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    Oooh! You must get WaSp to carve a pumpkin and put it in your window!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 23rd Oct 18, 7:08 PM
    • 39,982 Posts
    • 147,510 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Free music petition
    Anyone who acknowledges the benefits of music might be interested in this......


    QUOTE
    The Making Music association is concerned that young people today do not have the opportunities that have enabled them to spend a lifetime making music, with all the well-researched benefits to their individual wellbeing and that of their communities.

    Sign this petition for free instrumental tuition for all children in school, then pass it on to all your members, contacts, friends and family. We need to reach 100,000 signatures by 5 January, to secure a debate in Westminster.

    # Free instrumental tuition for every child in school is not a cost, but an investment in the health and wellbeing of all; it mitigates the effects of poverty, isolation and old age (among other things); it's an investment in social care and health services, and in communities and the future of civil society.

    # It should be free and statutory as part of the curriculum, not an optional bolt-on. Parents are not asked to pay for algebra tuition, itís part of Maths; they don't pay for grammar, itís part of English. Learning to play an instrument is part of learning Music.

    # This is not about nurturing the talent pipeline for the professional music sector (though that will also be a benefit); it is about ensuring the future of music in the community.

    Please sign the petition:

    https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/223408

    UNQUOTE



    (I would also add that music has recognised physical and mental benefits, aids brain development in children, reduces the effects of dementia in the elderly and has proven social benefits).
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 24th Oct 18, 10:04 AM
    • 7,727 Posts
    • 17,057 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Penguin - work and stupid brain weasels...

    I love my job. I am doing well with my job from what I can gather.

    But the weasels are having a field day.

    Had a catchup with my manager this morning. It went OK, he's under a bit of pressure but trying to keep it off us, and is happy with my work in general. I've been pulling long hours and I got thanked and praised for that.

    But...right at the end of the meeting he said "I've got to nudge you about something though. The guys you sit with would be distracted by butterflies and sometimes your banter gets a bit loud. I need them to concentrate as they've got really finicky work on at the moment and they're not as good at multitasking as you. Just...minimise the banter a bit please. It's not always you that starts it, and I know you sometimes try to stop it, but there it is. I've had it in the neck from a couple of people about it so I'm giving you a heads-up."

    Cue me stammering, blushing, and falling over my own feet to apologise. Manager stressed it's not just me, and he'll be giving them the same nudge, and then we had a laugh about Red Dwarf, but...weasels don't care. All I processed was "Shut up. Someone in the office hates you. You talk too much and it's going to lose you your job."

    I'm still on probation period for another month and I've just bought a new car. I'm currently crying in the back workshop.


    Sorry for the downer I just needed to let it out

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #Starmer4PM
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 24th Oct 18, 11:10 AM
    • 1,598 Posts
    • 4,648 Thanks
    Izadora
    HBS - brain weasels are evil and try to twist everything anyone says or does. If your manager had spoken to other people about the noise of banter and not you the weasels would've told you that nobody likes you and you're not enough of a part of the group for your banter to register.
    I know that it's MUCH easier said than done but try not to listen to them and remember that, in having to say something to appease someone who's being a bit sensitive to noise, your manager praised your ability to multi-task. Give the weasels a big na-nana-naa-naa (complete with hand waggling in front of your nose) from me.

    Pyxis - petition signed.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 24th Oct 18, 11:27 AM
    • 39,982 Posts
    • 147,510 Thanks
    Pyxis
    HBS....... focus on the fact that he's pleased with your work, and the fact that you put in long hours.

    Nobody is going to fire someone who works hard and well.

    Obviously some of your colleagues are bothered by the banter, and instead of speaking to you and whoever else about it, they went to the manager.
    That can be understandable if they felt awkward about bringing the subject up with you themselves.

    It might also be that their work hasn't been up to scratch, so they are blaming it on being distracted!

    If that's the case, they won't have that excuse in future!

    Anyway, it sounds like you're doing well, so give yourself a pat on the back!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 24th Oct 18, 9:57 PM
    • 17,313 Posts
    • 45,602 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Urgghhhhhh

    I hate this illness.

    I hate being depressed
    I hate (most of the time) being manic
    I hate being anxious

    Felt low all week and feel bad for Swain, hes been my rock but i hate being down around him cos he does make me so happy but right now i just can;t feel anything. I spent monday/tuesday sleeping as i felt too depressed to function. So i wasted my days off. Work is fine and im coping but i feel like im wearing a mask and pretending to be ok when im really not. I'm going to try an have a bath and read a self help book my friend gave me
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 25th Oct 18, 10:00 PM
    • 13,249 Posts
    • 24,652 Thanks
    Sleazy
    'My' shrink wanted to discharge me some months ago, but my GP and wife who could both see that things 'weren't normal', convinced her that I should have another appointment - months have passed though.

    It's almost like a 'silent screaming' in my head, and my wife although very understanding has a stressful enough job in a school including with special needs children, so I try not to burden her too much. Of an evening (like now), she'll be in the lounge and I'll be here, each having our 'personal space' but knowing that we're not alone.

    I manage to take care of household bills (if I open them), and wash up and cook, but not much more if I'm honest.

    I sleep every afternoon and am ready for bed again any time about now. Little things upset me and become bigger than they really are ... I mumble to myself continually and talk out loud in different accents. I even think in accents ...

    Sounds stupid, and I know that it is ... the worst part is people not being able to understand what MH issues feel like. My GP summed it up as "If you were on crutches, people would think 'poor Sleazy'. But because you look ok, they assume that you are"
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 26th Oct 18, 1:04 AM
    • 17,313 Posts
    • 45,602 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    penguin

    having really really graphic thoughts of self harm, and an overwhelming urge to do it again. ive gone nearly 4 years without doing it and Swain would be devastated and i can;t do that to him. i just really dont want these thoughts and images on my head. i dont know what to do

    [/penguin]
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • geminilady
    • By geminilady 26th Oct 18, 1:57 AM
    • 1,766 Posts
    • 7,398 Thanks
    geminilady
    Messed up----- too tired to remember how to penguin but as you mentioned a few days ago your anti depressant proberly needs adjusting.Focus on swain and how well you have done for 4 years would be lovely to make it to 5.Ring your gp tomorrow he said you could if you needed help.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 28th Oct 18, 8:21 PM
    • 1,824 Posts
    • 9,470 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    So many of us are having it bad at the moment. I can't help thinking the shorter days are making it worse. Today after the clocks changed I looked out of the window at 5.15pm and it was pitch black. My DH doesn't get home from work until gone 6pm and I know week days will be hard for me until he gets back even though my DD is at home and out of work.
    I've been living in what I would call terror the last week, my anxiety is very bad. I'm on my meds but I think I'm starting menopause as my periods are every 6 weeks now, so I'm emotionally all over the place. When I'm alone there are moments when I literally crouch on the floor in the corner of the room feeling so afraid of I dont know what, and saying aloud over and over to myself "please help me" I'm so ashamed of myself, I wish I could snap out of it.
    Hugs to those who need them. I wish I could make us all better, but all I can say is that you are not alone.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 28th Oct 18, 9:56 PM
    • 19,367 Posts
    • 19,939 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    MessedUp - a penguin for you

    Do you know what 'helps' you when you self harm? I ask because some people say it's the pain which helps them distract from the rest of life. I am really not a self harm expert but I am a great believer in Mr Google - and so found what looks quite helpful from the Royal College of Psychiatrists, of all places (you will probably know that I am *cough* not totally uncritical of psychiatrists, but this looks good.)

    I do hope it's helpful <3<3

    https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/PDF/Self-Harm%20Distractions%20and%20Alternatives%20FINAL.p df


    I had to stop it being an URL as the URLs are all blue on here, so you'll have to copy and paste it. (No point in having a blue penguin as they are a bit visible )


    AAAARGH! For some reason the linky has a break in the last bit, which should say pdf without a break. Whatever I do I can't see a break, and even if I retype it the linky still says p df. Just edit it so that the end says pdf!
    Last edited by jobbingmusician; 28-10-2018 at 10:03 PM.
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