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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,151Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 527
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 12th Oct 18, 1:54 PM
    • 5,151 Posts
    • 21,916 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Glad things feel a little better SI!

    Aw, thank you HBS! This is all new to me but so far I like it!

    Things I learnt about village life today - if the postman has a big envelope rather than fold it to get it through your letterbox he walks straight in and leaves it in the hall! He was very pleasant, introduced himself and asked if I was settling in ok. He lives 11 doors up. It is something of a community here!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 12th Oct 18, 2:24 PM
    • 8,881 Posts
    • 16,127 Thanks
    calleyw
    Glad things feel a little better SI!

    Aw, thank you HBS! This is all new to me but so far I like it!

    Things I learnt about village life today - if the postman has a big envelope rather than fold it to get it through your letterbox he walks straight in and leaves it in the hall! He was very pleasant, introduced himself and asked if I was settling in ok. He lives 11 doors up. It is something of a community here!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles

    WaS that is the upside of living in village. People know each other and keep an eye out for each other.



    And if its a good village, it will often have stuff going on all the time. Like wine clubs, ramblers, WI etc.



    But the downside is that everyone knows your business. Which if you are like me and a bit on shy side it can be difficult. But do enjoy it though and I hope that one day you are able to make some new friends in real life.



    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 12th Oct 18, 2:34 PM
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    • 16,127 Thanks
    calleyw
    I have just picked up my new (to me) car. It is a bit bigger than the old one so it's scary, but very exciting!

    HBS x
    Originally posted by heartbreak_star

    HBS how exciting. If you are worried about it being a bit bigger. The best thing to do is go to the local supermarket after it has shut and in the far corner of the car park practice driving around and parking it.


    AM made me do this when he put me on his insurance. As he has an estate. No idea what size car he thinks I use to drive. Just looked and its about 7 inches longer than my old car used to be.


    Enjoy the car.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 12th Oct 18, 5:58 PM
    • 12,572 Posts
    • 23,116 Thanks
    Sleazy
    ....
    I have just picked up my new (to me) car. It is a bit bigger than the old one so it's scary, but very exciting!

    HBS x
    Originally posted by heartbreak_star
    Three weeks ago, I picked up my new (old) one. I'd given up driving for 18 months mainly due to stress issues, and just using it for local trips at the moment (it's very useful) .

    In three weeks, I've only done 150 miles ...
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 12th Oct 18, 6:42 PM
    • 39,446 Posts
    • 145,266 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Glad things feel a little better SI!

    Aw, thank you HBS! This is all new to me but so far I like it!

    Things I learnt about village life today - if the postman has a big envelope rather than fold it to get it through your letterbox he walks straight in and leaves it in the hall! He was very pleasant, introduced himself and asked if I was settling in ok. He lives 11 doors up. It is something of a community here!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    Ooh, WaS! Did you cope with that ok?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 12th Oct 18, 8:29 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 1,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    Things I learnt about village life today - if the postman has a big envelope rather than fold it to get it through your letterbox he walks straight in and leaves it in the hall! He was very pleasant, introduced himself and asked if I was settling in ok. He lives 11 doors up. It is something of a community here!
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    I would have !!!! myself. (There doesn't appear to be a "!!!! myself" emoji, so we'll go with eek. ) My door is always locked.

    My relaxing, pottering about with paperwork day went a bit awry. On the plus side, everything's now unpacked, most of it's put away, and I just have a few bits to find a home for and a bit of cupboard rearranging to do.

    Tomorrow will definitely be a relaxing day.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 13th Oct 18, 3:34 PM
    • 39,446 Posts
    • 145,266 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I would have !!!! myself. (There doesn't appear to be a "!!!! myself" emoji, so we'll go with eek. ) My door is always locked.

    My relaxing, pottering about with paperwork day went a bit awry. On the plus side, everything's now unpacked, most of it's put away, and I just have a few bits to find a home for and a bit of cupboard rearranging to do.

    Tomorrow will definitely be a relaxing day.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals


    I am now wondering what a !!!! myself emoticon might look like.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 13th Oct 18, 4:02 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 1,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    Maybe the infamous poo emoji? We really ought to have that one here. It would be great for bad reviews of products or maybe expressing a suspicion that a post might be less than genuine (although, to be fair, I try to reply to even the silly ones as if they're true). I would ask MSE Towers about it, but I think they might hate me after the whole freak out/delete my accounts incident.


    I think it's time to admit that the move has pushed me into one of my rare hyper episodes. I should have realised because of the way I've been pushing myself to finish everything even when I tried to stop and relax, but I thought I was just being proactive.

    I finally realised when I logged into my credit card account to find out why the payment was declined and realised I'd hit my limit. It's mostly furniture/white goods, so it's not like I've spent it on silly stuff for the most part, but it's very rare that I don't realise I'm close to my limit.

    Gave myself a bit of a fright, but it seems to have put a dampener on things. At least I have the money to pay it this time...and a very tidy flat.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 14th Oct 18, 3:41 PM
    • 5,834 Posts
    • 13,395 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    How do people do this forever?
    I am utterly exhausted.
    Today is a under a blankie (thanks Tuna I sill love it) cuddle porky day.
    Still have to do the meds
    Still have to feed and walk and groom and fuss the animals
    Still have to do the cooking
    Still have to do some cleaning so the dust doesn't start his chest off (cleaning round the hoard is fun honest)

    Etc
    First bit of a cry and a love I think
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 14th Oct 18, 4:21 PM
    • 8,881 Posts
    • 16,127 Thanks
    calleyw
    How do people do this forever?
    I am utterly exhausted.
    Today is a under a blankie (thanks Tuna I sill love it) cuddle porky day.
    Still have to do the meds
    Still have to feed and walk and groom and fuss the animals
    Still have to do the cooking
    Still have to do some cleaning so the dust doesn't start his chest off (cleaning round the hoard is fun honest)

    Etc
    First bit of a cry and a love I think
    Originally posted by mellymoo74

    Some can and some can't.


    If you can't then either you or the relationship or both break.


    Massive hugs


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Oct 18, 4:53 PM
    • 4,664 Posts
    • 4,253 Thanks
    dekaspace
    I know I have complained about the neighbours in the past but since Friday Im assuming as half term its been 7am-midnight large gatherings, kids screaming till around 6pm and running about on stairs, adults laughing and encouraging the kids, 4 new cars park in morning and leave late evening, I hear shouting at the kids from female voices sometimes. It sounds like parties each day and usual lack of respect from the tenant.

    So onto 3rd day of screaming and I am meant to be up early for job interview tomorrow!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 14th Oct 18, 5:03 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 1,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    I think some people just have no sense of how much noise they make. My new neighbours were building furniture into the wee hours, they keep slamming the communal door, talking very loudly in the corridor, etc. The person I used to live with would have their TV on full blast through the night, even though they'd been told it disturbed both me and the neighbours.


    To be fair, I've probably got a bit carried away with noise on occassion, but I feel awful when I realise. I watch/listen to stuff with headphones, remind visitors to catch the door, etc. Some folk just think, "This is my noise, everyone needs to learn to live with it."
    Last edited by Sunny Intervals; 14-10-2018 at 5:09 PM.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 14th Oct 18, 5:28 PM
    • 4,664 Posts
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    dekaspace
    They know, I spoke to them after I first moved in and was polite and was told kids will be kids, or its not them making noise its their friends (therefore I can't blame them) They had a party to 5am at start of year for the tenants birthday and when I spoke about it she laughed and said it was a one off, and it would be impolite to ask her friends to leave (which like many things she says is a lie as her kids got sent to freinds for a sleep over 30 minutes before this "surprise" party started) She shouted abuse at the ASBO team when they contacted her and put a note through my door saying she is allowed to have as many parties and have friends round as she wants.

    I myself have a powerful tv but I turn the bass low as possible and volume quite low (just as they are powerful some does seep through) but thats different than someone who intentionally broke tenancy rules and put in laminate, and got a dog against tenancy rules too.

    Last time I complained months ago for a month after she made it her duty to make her and her friends kids scream and clap outside my door every time they came in then laugh.

    She claims to be a single mum as well to get around the noise complaints (i.e shes a single mum so I can't hear male voices/shouting/drinking) I have said in past Im assuming shes doing some dodgy thing like claiming shes a single mum to get social housing, probably doing benefit cheating, subletting, running a unlicensed nursery etc. Maybe even all of that as for someone who claims she is badly off she drives a BMW and has the latest Iphone and branded clothes.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 14th Oct 18, 5:29 PM
    • 39,446 Posts
    • 145,266 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I think some people just have no sense of how much noise they make. My new neighbours were building furniture into the wee hours, they keep slamming the communal door, talking very loudly in the corridor, etc. The person I used to live with would have their TV on full blast through the night, even though they'd been told it disturbed both me and the neighbours.


    To be fair, I've probably got a bit carried away with noise on occassion, but I feel awful when I realise. I watch/listen to stuff with headphones, remind visitors to catch the door, etc. Some folk just think, "This is my noise, everyone needs to learn to live with it."
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals
    Could you ask the landlord to put a soft-closing thing on the door?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 14th Oct 18, 5:52 PM
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    Sunny Intervals
    Could you ask the landlord to put a soft-closing thing on the door?
    Originally posted by Pyxis

    The common areas are demised to the leaseholders, so I'd either need to a) get everyone to agree to chip in or b) just pay for it myself. Considering the state of the common areas, it's clear that people have voted for "option c) neither" for quite some time now. At least half the flats are BTLs, so it's going to be even harder to generate interest. I'm thinking of making a list and getting a couple of quotes at some point.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 14th Oct 18, 6:11 PM
    • 39,446 Posts
    • 145,266 Thanks
    Pyxis
    The common areas are demised to the leaseholders, so I'd either need to a) get everyone to agree to chip in or b) just pay for it myself. Considering the state of the common areas, it's clear that people have voted for "option c) neither" for quite some time now. At least half the flats are BTLs, so it's going to be even harder to generate interest. I'm thinking of making a list and getting a couple of quotes at some point.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals
    It might be worth asking.

    Do you mean that there is an RTM team? (Right To Manage). If so, it might be worth asking the Directors to consider that expenditure as part of the service charge.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 14th Oct 18, 6:45 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 1,510 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    It might be worth asking.

    Do you mean that there is an RTM team? (Right To Manage). If so, it might be worth asking the Directors to consider that expenditure as part of the service charge.
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    It's complicated. There's no right to manage and no director/board. The freeholder cuts the grass and insures the building, the leaseholders are responsible for everything else, but there's nothing in place to actually get anything done. There's no service charge as such, the freeholder just bills us for the gardener, the communal electric and the insurance. We could do with setting something up, but I suspect I'd end up having to run it and I'm really not up to it right now.

    It Ps me off a little bit. There's one owner-occupier who's lived here since it was built, who's basically just watched the place fall apart. To be fair, I don't know if he's tried and failed to get folk involved and he's very prickly, so I can't approach him (I find it hard enough approaching friendly people).
    Last edited by Sunny Intervals; 14-10-2018 at 6:53 PM.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 15th Oct 18, 2:38 PM
    • 4,664 Posts
    • 4,253 Thanks
    dekaspace
    That relative that owes me cash, guess what they sent me 50 bank transfer but then 10 minutes later says can I send that same 50 to his "girlfriends" family abroad.


    So in other words that cash he has "paid me back" which is like 1/300 of what he actually owes me he wants me to spend on him and go out of my way to do this online!


    Cheeky.
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 15th Oct 18, 3:07 PM
    • 459 Posts
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    Sunny Intervals
    How about: "Yes, of course I can, but there's a 100 upfront admin fee for my transfer service."
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 15th Oct 18, 3:13 PM
    • 7,654 Posts
    • 16,863 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Hello you lovely lot!

    Hugs/squishes/handshakes/positivity to all who need or require

    Melly - extra loves for you. Enjoy animal snuggles

    New car is GREAT! Parking scared me a bit to start with, but I love the car so very much looking forward to taking it on a long journey.

    I have also booked a weekend away with some friends including a trip to the Harry Potter studios! I've not been for ages, and they now have the Forbidden Forest set up. I can't wait!!

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
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