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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,165Posts
    • 22,021Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 517
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 8th Aug 18, 10:16 PM
    • 17,312 Posts
    • 45,614 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Feeling scared tonight that I might do something to be with him.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    Please don't. I know i can't speak for him but would your husband want you doing that? If i passed i wouldn't want Swain to do that, i'd want him to keep going and live life even if it was without me. I'm sorry your pain feels too much right now. I've been at the point where i wanted it to end, when my grandad died i didnt deal with it well and wanted to be back with him, but i couldnt do that to my family still here. He wouldnt have wanted it either.

    Stay here, talk to us, talk to samaratains, just please stay with us
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th Aug 18, 6:25 AM
    • 39,981 Posts
    • 147,549 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Torry, I've only just seen your post. Sorry I wasn't on here last night......I lost my internet, so couldn't log out, and gave up in the end and went to sleep.

    I hope you were able to read what the others have said, and I echo that.
    You are too valuable to give up. Like MU said, I am sure your lovely husband wouldn't want you to die before your time.

    Your life does have meaning, even though you can't see that it does right now, but one day you will see that it does, I absolutely promise you you will.

    Have a little 'talk' to your husband, tell him how you're feeling, and listen to him telling you what to do.
    Then write down his words, fold up the piece of paper, and carry that with you everywhere.





    Other women who have gone through exactly this will be able to help you, and you won't feel so alone. I'm talking about Cruse. People I know who have contacted them have told me how much benefit and comfort they got from Cruse.
    I do feel you need some support right now, from people who have gone through exactly the same. We can only imagine it, but others have actually experienced it.
    Please, please phone them?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th Aug 18, 8:54 AM
    • 17,834 Posts
    • 45,320 Thanks
    elsien
    Morning Torrey. Morning everyone else.
    I hope things appear a little less dark for you this morning.

    I didn't get to sleep till late then overslept this morning so am running late. I won't get the chance to check in during the day, but I'm sure people will be around if it helps to post.
    Be kind to yourself.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 9th Aug 18, 10:13 AM
    • 1,598 Posts
    • 4,648 Thanks
    Izadora
    Torry, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but please try to remember that there are people who care about you.
    I hope that things are feeling a little less bleak today.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 9th Aug 18, 10:41 PM
    • 5,925 Posts
    • 13,629 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Torry I wish I could make it easier.
    Please post on here when you feel low and we will try and be sounding boards and comfort.
    Xxx Xxx

    Waiting for a second interview date still
    Have an interview next week
    Nephew is struggling with his role a bit so been mentoring and today did some gap analysis and created a gannt chart for him.

    Still gotta chase cmht for OH his mood is all over the place
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 9th Aug 18, 11:16 PM
    • 17,312 Posts
    • 45,614 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Torry if you're there, how are you feeling today?

    Had a noce day, went back home to see my family, not seen them since chrostmas so it was long overdue. Bit annoyed as i found out my mum has a heart condition and even ended up in hospital but she never told me, i rememeber talking to her around the time it happened and she didn;t mention it, Swain thinks its because she didn't want to worry me, which is probably true, i think shes ok now, shes on medication and under a cardiologist. Still worries me though, i feel like a bad daughter for not being there for her when she needed me.

    yesterday i went to see my friends and their kids, oh my god they are adorable, the little boy is 3 and his sister is 18months. They were an absoloute joy to be around and i'm going to keep in regular contact from now so i get to see everyone more. Being aware of consent i asked them if they wanted a hug or a high 5, i remember being a kid and not being comfortable hugging parents friends so i thought it better to give them a choice.
    Last edited by xXMessedUpXx; 09-08-2018 at 11:18 PM.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 9th Aug 18, 11:22 PM
    • 17,243 Posts
    • 26,816 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    I'm here, physically and mentally exhausted. Little sleep last night and called Samaritans. There's lots in my head
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 10th Aug 18, 4:28 AM
    • 39,981 Posts
    • 147,549 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I'm here, physically and mentally exhausted. Little sleep last night and called Samaritans. There's lots in my head
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    So glad, Torry.
    Glad you called the Samaritans as well.

    I really hope you got a bit more sleep.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 10th Aug 18, 12:36 PM
    • 5,925 Posts
    • 13,629 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    I'm here, physically and mentally exhausted. Little sleep last night and called Samaritans. There's lots in my head
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    Torry I think pyxis suggested calling cruise, they are really helpful I used them when my dad died.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 10th Aug 18, 1:41 PM
    • 19,367 Posts
    • 19,941 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Cruse is a really good idea. Hope you find them useful, Torry.

    Love your hug alternative, MU! xxxxx

    Squishes to all ~~~~~~~~

    (Oops, logged in to say I'm away for 10 days again, and then forgot to say it. I will check in from time to time) xxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
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    • elsien
    • By elsien 16th Aug 18, 11:14 PM
    • 17,834 Posts
    • 45,320 Thanks
    elsien
    Just popping in to say I hope everyone is ok.

    The weekend has finally arrived which involves Gitdog and I in a small tent. I have packed alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. This could be the worst idea I've had in a while.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 17th Aug 18, 1:21 AM
    • 39,256 Posts
    • 36,223 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    Just popping in to say I hope everyone is ok.

    The weekend has finally arrived which involves Gitdog and I in a small tent. I have packed alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. This could be the worst idea I've had in a while.
    Originally posted by elsien
    What's Gitdog like after consuming alcohol?

    I hope you have good camping weather. Not too hot, no storms, no high winds.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: 1 adult cardigan, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 2 hats, 2 balaclavas for seamen, 1 balaclava for myself, multiple poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: ready to decrease / decreasing on all parts of the mohair cardigan pattern! but moved onto wrist warmers for friends at Christmas ...
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 18th Aug 18, 5:44 PM
    • 13,332 Posts
    • 24,872 Thanks
    Sleazy
    What's Gitdog like after consuming alcohol?

    I hope you have good camping weather. Not too hot, no storms, no high winds.
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    Well, Bobby my cat is sometimes (not always) partial to a little red wine. If he licks several finger-tips that have been dipped into my glass (not the same ones, I would add), seems to relax him.

    I have only given him beer a couple of times - he definitely prefers wine, like his 'dad'
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 18th Aug 18, 10:00 PM
    • 17,243 Posts
    • 26,816 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Well nothing has really changed . I'm still sobbing most of the time and didn't bother getting out of bed today. Yesterday I went to a bbq at my church which was a big mistake. I soon became overwhelmed by th people and the sound of them having fun. Someone called me today but just went on at length about themself with no regard for me.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 18th Aug 18, 11:13 PM
    • 1,824 Posts
    • 9,470 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Torry they may just have talked about themselves out of awkwardness and trying to keep the conversation going, I'm guilty of that often.

    Although you might not feel the church BBQ was a success, I think it was great that you went. That was a big step forward for you, well done
    • annandale
    • By annandale 21st Aug 18, 10:34 AM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 2,853 Thanks
    annandale
    Go to your GP. As soon as possible. I presume you have already but if you have a supportive GP get back there and ask him for something that might help you sleep at least. I have no idea how you are feeling but you can’t go on like this. For your sake. My gran lost my grandpa after 35 years of marriage. Suddenly. It was horrendous. But she kept going. She had to. She also lost two family members to suicide. One her brother and one her son. If you end your life your father will never get over it. This may sound like words but my family are not over what happened to us almost 30 years on. Grief is awful and the first year is the worst but you hang on in there as there are people who need you and you keep going for them.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 21st Aug 18, 1:02 PM
    • 39,981 Posts
    • 147,549 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Go to your GP. As soon as possible. I presume you have already but if you have a supportive GP get back there and ask him for something that might help you sleep at least. I have no idea how you are feeling but you canít go on like this. For your sake. My gran lost my grandpa after 35 years of marriage. Suddenly. It was horrendous. But she kept going. She had to. She also lost two family members to suicide. One her brother and one her son. If you end your life your father will never get over it. This may sound like words but my family are not over what happened to us almost 30 years on. Grief is awful and the first year is the worst but you hang on in there as there are people who need you and you keep going for them.
    Originally posted by annandale
    The thing is, though, that people are very different in how grief gets processed. There is no right way and no wrong way either. Each person has to muddle through each day in their own way.

    The thing about this thread is that people can offload onto here, where they might feel unable to, as much, to friends and acquaintances.

    Even a GP would say that there is no medication for grief, and it's now realised that numbing it can cause more problems in the future.

    Torry isn't wrong to feel as she does....she is coping in her own way.
    You are, Torry, even if you feel you aren't, and do, please, carry on letting us know how you are feeling, because that is the best thing you can do at the moment.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 21st Aug 18, 10:42 PM
    • 17,243 Posts
    • 26,816 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    The thing is, though, that people are very different in how grief gets processed. There is no right way and no wrong way either. Each person has to muddle through each day in their own way.

    The thing about this thread is that people can offload onto here, where they might feel unable to, as much, to friends and acquaintances.

    Even a GP would say that there is no medication for grief, and it's now realised that numbing it can cause more problems in the future.

    Torry isn't wrong to feel as she does....she is coping in her own way.
    You are, Torry, even if you feel you aren't, and do, please, carry on letting us know how you are feeling, because that is the best thing you can do at the moment.
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Thanks.

    I'd love if there was something to make me better but there isnt. I need to feel my pain as awful as it is, it's all I have.

    See my GP tomorrow
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Elona
    • By Elona 21st Aug 18, 10:50 PM
    • 346 Posts
    • 3,544 Thanks
    Elona
    Torry

    You can still feel the pain and the loss but if some medication can help you get some sleep and take the edge off then it is worth considering. That and a couple of counselling sessions helped me a lot.
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 21st Aug 18, 11:15 PM
    • 17,243 Posts
    • 26,816 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Torry

    You can still feel the pain and the loss but if some medication can help you get some sleep and take the edge off then it is worth considering. That and a couple of counselling sessions helped me a lot.
    Originally posted by Elona
    I'm on antidepressants, have been for years and take a sleeping pill occasionally.

    See my counsellor again on Thursday
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
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