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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,140Posts
    • 21,821Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread !!!8220;Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2!!!8221;. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 516
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 3rd Aug 18, 12:12 AM
    • 17,169 Posts
    • 45,169 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    well work is pants right now.

    asked one of the seniors for an honest opinion, if i had a leaving do would anyone turn up. there answer was no, and that honestly a lot of them dont like me. which don;t get me wrong, i suspected anyway but it still hurts. So now its in my head that everyone hates me. Sod them. I'm leaving at the end of the month ad they'll never see me again
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 3rd Aug 18, 6:59 AM
    • 37,394 Posts
    • 138,164 Thanks
    Pyxis
    well work is pants right now.

    asked one of the seniors for an honest opinion, if i had a leaving do would anyone turn up. there answer was no, and that honestly a lot of them dont like me. which don;t get me wrong, i suspected anyway but it still hurts. So now its in my head that everyone hates me. Sod them. I'm leaving at the end of the month ad they'll never see me again
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Look at it this way, MU.......... you're leaving to go to a shop where they do really want you, else they wouldn't have offered you a job there.

    That response from the senior shows that you made the right decision to move shops.

    Just keep your head down, work your notice to the best of your ability and then start again at the other place.

    You're a good worker; that's one reason why the slackers don't like you. Also a lot of people can't cope with anyone that's a bit 'different'. It's ignorance, so pity them, in their little, blinkered world.

    And well, it's their loss, isn't it?

    Once you've gone, your hard work will be missed........ they'll have to pull their fingers out, won't they?


    And don't worry about not having a leaving do......... you're not leaving the firm, after all, just that particular outlet....like going to a different department in the same office, so don't feel you're losing out.

    Why not have a 'starting do' when you go to the other shop?
    Last edited by Pyxis; 03-08-2018 at 7:01 AM.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 3rd Aug 18, 7:04 AM
    • 37,394 Posts
    • 138,164 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Me again.

    A year today was his first chemotherapy, we were so hopeful!

    I was okay for a while when out but have barely stopped crying since I got home. I want to be with him not here in my lonely emptiness

    It's not helped by thinking about my dad's operation on Friday, he has to come back to mine afterwards as it's a day case but he can't be on his own. Trying to vacuum but it's not working and then dropped it on my foot.

    It shouldn't matter but I know my dad will comment on the state of the house.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    I hope your dad's op goes well, Torry.

    Please don't worry about the house......You don't have the energy for housework at the moment, and hopefully you dad will realise that.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 3rd Aug 18, 5:23 PM
    • 4,561 Posts
    • 4,137 Thanks
    dekaspace
    A update on me, came back from holiday after that nasty hotel I found a better one for 50 for 4 nights, was actually impressed for most part with it, lovely bed in it, wifi didn't work, but toilet was next room along, shower was a minute away though and had to sit in reception to use laptop and no tv in room but for what I paid was great.


    Last night I had a pre booked months ago last special night in a proper hotel due to my birthday, lovely room only cost 15 inc breakfast, en suite wifi was unusable again though.


    Came back today after a draining day, almost every train was delayed meaning I missed connection, then got off at my station and my bus was 20 minutes late, came home to a nasty debt collector letter for debt I dont owe due to identify fraud, not only that its statute barred phoned the debt collector who were rude with me claiming I have to prove I don't alleged it was a default against me but none shows on any credit file and tells me I have to pay or else.


    And I have to go to friends but hes away for weekend, except thats where my bus pass is! I left it at his before I left so now stuck in house for like a week unless I pay bus fares to town.
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 3rd Aug 18, 6:12 PM
    • 10,817 Posts
    • 19,638 Thanks
    Sleazy
    Not a good day then, Deka!
    I stayed in today - my weekly pass expired yesterday, and I was happy to stay at home for a day and do stuff.
    Rather than paying daily bus fares, a week's pass might work out a lot cheaper.

    Ultimus Romanorum
    Descendit Sed Ex
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 5th Aug 18, 2:28 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    I hope your dad's op goes well, Torry.

    Please don't worry about the house......You don't have the energy for housework at the moment, and hopefully you dad will realise that.
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Friday was a long day. At the hospital first thing but an emergency meant the operation was delayed until mid after noon. He didn't get home as it would be 9pm before they would let him go but he didn't feel well enough.

    It was physically and emotionally exhausting sitting at a hospital bedside for so long.

    Coming home was extremely tough, too many memories.

    He got out yesterday and came to mine. We had a quiet day.

    This morning I got up and heard the tv and got upset as it was for a moment the thought it was my husband!
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 5th Aug 18, 3:44 PM
    • 37,394 Posts
    • 138,164 Thanks
    Pyxis
    This morning I got up and heard the tv and got upset as it was for a moment the thought it was my husband!
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    oh gosh! Poor you!

    Yes, that brief moment when you think it was all a mistake and he is here after all! followed immediately by remembering it is your dad, and the wave of sadness that follows that.

    (((((((((Torry)))))))))))




    It would seem that if your dad felt well enough to put the TV on, then he must be getting better rapidly.

    Is he still with you? Did you like the company?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 5th Aug 18, 9:34 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    oh gosh! Poor you!

    Yes, that brief moment when you think it was all a mistake and he is here after all! followed immediately by remembering it is your dad, and the wave of sadness that follows that.

    (((((((((Torry)))))))))))




    It would seem that if your dad felt well enough to put the TV on, then he must be getting better rapidly.

    Is he still with you? Did you like the company?
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    He's back home now. In a way it was nice to have him here but I couldn't relax completely. Although the lonelines is overwhelming no one can really make it better and I still cried at night.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 6th Aug 18, 11:43 AM
    • 8,788 Posts
    • 15,856 Thanks
    calleyw
    Morning my Lovelies,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all around.


    Not sure why today I feel really needy. I just need to talk to someone. I know I should not but thinking about going back to bed as I want to cry.



    I am still at a loss on how to make an income for myself. I have been doing surveys and stuff and getting between 100-150 a month. Its hard work, long and very mind numbing for little return. But I really need more income. And the though of going back to work makes me freeze and feel really ill.



    Thought about working for myself. But I have no skills and no idea what to do. it could be I am lazy but mainly think its because I lack confidence and no idea where to start!!!!


    Found out last night why AM says he loves me before he turns over to go to sleep, when he leaves for work in the morning and at the end of every phone call. I just thought he was being soppy and loved up. Its a bit morbid really. In case its the last words we ever utter.


    Any how everyone enjoy the weather and keep hydrated


    Yours


    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 6th Aug 18, 12:24 PM
    • 4,561 Posts
    • 4,137 Thanks
    dekaspace
    I am a little stressed on the job front, was offered a excellent job interview but last minute when I was on holiday and the return train fare would of been 50 and taken at least 5 hours so not the best for relaxing before a interview.


    Have a interview later today that seems eager but I applied for part time work and they are pushy about having full time hours as well as a start tomorrow so only basically a 15 hour time if I get it from interview to start. Job is fine but full time with a next day start will be too much for me even my job coach has said don't go for it but that stresses me more as now don't know what to do.
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 6th Aug 18, 1:05 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Morning my Lovelies,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all around.


    Not sure why today I feel really needy. I just need to talk to someone. I know I should not but thinking about going back to bed as I want to cry.



    I am still at a loss on how to make an income for myself. I have been doing surveys and stuff and getting between 100-150 a month. Its hard work, long and very mind numbing for little return. But I really need more income. And the though of going back to work makes me freeze and feel really ill.



    Thought about working for myself. But I have no skills and no idea what to do. it could be I am lazy but mainly think its because I lack confidence and no idea where to start!!!!


    Found out last night why AM says he loves me before he turns over to go to sleep, when he leaves for work in the morning and at the end of every phone call. I just thought he was being soppy and loved up. Its a bit morbid really. In case its the last words we ever utter.


    Any how everyone enjoy the weather and keep hydrated


    Yours


    Calley X
    Originally posted by calleyw
    Sorry to hear that.

    Totally agree with the sentiment of saying I love you, we always did. X
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 6th Aug 18, 1:55 PM
    • 8,788 Posts
    • 15,856 Thanks
    calleyw
    Thanks Torry,


    How goes your day?


    Well the icing on the cake today. Remember the on off thing I had with someone who called me mental and treated badly. Guess what after just over two year of no contact, he has texted me.


    It has really upset me. But after talking to a couple of people. We think he is fishing and might have got dumped and thinks he can come running back to me!!!!


    Yeah in his dreams. He wont be getting a reply


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 6th Aug 18, 9:55 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Thanks Torry,


    How goes your day?


    Well the icing on the cake today. Remember the on off thing I had with someone who called me mental and treated badly. Guess what after just over two year of no contact, he has texted me.


    It has really upset me. But after talking to a couple of people. We think he is fishing and might have got dumped and thinks he can come running back to me!!!!


    Yeah in his dreams. He wont be getting a reply


    Yours


    Calley x
    Originally posted by calleyw
    You're right not to respond to him.

    I washed a load overnight and put it out to dry today. It's still strange only having my clothes. I changed my bedding, its not easy on my own but it feels like an achievement and will be nice to have a fresh bed.

    Still exhausted.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 6th Aug 18, 10:03 PM
    • 8,788 Posts
    • 15,856 Thanks
    calleyw
    You're right not to respond to him.

    I washed a load overnight and put it out to dry today. It's still strange only having my clothes. I changed my bedding, its not easy on my own but it feels like an achievement and will be nice to have a fresh bed.

    Still exhausted.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine

    Torry,


    You are indeed correct, I wont be contacting him in anyway. But its nagging at me. And making me worry about what his next move is. I know over thinking stuff.



    Can I ask a question. Do you have routine? get up, go to bed etc at the same time?


    This may sound strange but would a journal of your thoughts and feelings everyday help. it gets it out of your head and on the page.


    It also may help you to see how far you have come. Even when you feel that you have made no progress.


    I use to struggle with a double duvet I now have a king size one!!!!!I am only 5ft 4 so as you can imagine its fun


    A good nights sleep can make a massive difference to how you feel emotionally. I find I can deal with stuff better.


    You take care and try and get a decent nights sleep.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 7th Aug 18, 12:26 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,477 Thanks
    Izadora
    Found out last night why AM says he loves me before he turns over to go to sleep, when he leaves for work in the morning and at the end of every phone call.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    I do exactly the same and for the same reason. It's something I've done with my parents since I was a kid and now do it with IzHe too.

    Torry, well done for changing your bed. It is an achievement and you're right that fresh sheets will feel nice.

    As a kid I was always adamant that I loved the feel of a fresh bed so much I'd have clean sheets every day when I was an adult. My mum was right that it wouldn't be such an appealing idea when I had to do my own washing...
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 7th Aug 18, 1:34 PM
    • 4,561 Posts
    • 4,137 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Upset over silly reason, that interview for a job I didn't get it. This is despite them contacting me last week desperate to get me in for interview and saying I will start following day they were really pushy about getting me in to point they made a special arrangement for me to have the interview after the job officially closed, then somehow I fail!!!!


    What happened for them to reject me given their eagerness to start me, I went in clean shaven, ironed shirt and trousers smart shoes was polite, respectful, well spoken and answered questions honestly.


    It makes me feel if I can lose at a sure thing it destroys my confidence.


    Edit got second hand feedback and it was strange, got told I wasn't chatty enough!!! I am the person who normally gets told I chat too much (and my posts on this very website show how detailed I get) I got told I ONLY gave examples of when I was at primary school, this never happened I gave one example of my tech skills from an early age where I said even at primary school I was told by teachers to train the other kids, and when I worked in my last job I passed my training in 2 days rather than 2 weeks and was told to train the other staff as my personal and technical skills were that good.


    Somehow the interviewer only listened to the bit I said about primary school.
    Last edited by dekaspace; 07-08-2018 at 2:11 PM.
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 7th Aug 18, 8:25 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Torry,


    You are indeed correct, I wont be contacting him in anyway. But its nagging at me. And making me worry about what his next move is. I know over thinking stuff.



    Can I ask a question. Do you have routine? get up, go to bed etc at the same time?


    This may sound strange but would a journal of your thoughts and feelings everyday help. it gets it out of your head and on the page.


    It also may help you to see how far you have come. Even when you feel that you have made no progress.


    I use to struggle with a double duvet I now have a king size one!!!!!I am only 5ft 4 so as you can imagine its fun


    A good nights sleep can make a massive difference to how you feel emotionally. I find I can deal with stuff better.


    You take care and try and get a decent nights sleep.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Originally posted by calleyw
    I do keep a journal telling my husband about my day and all about my feelings.

    I'm only 5'2" and my duvet is king size usually although I'm using my light weight one just now which is a double.

    I try to go to bed and get up at the same time .

    I do exactly the same and for the same reason. It's something I've done with my parents since I was a kid and now do it with IzHe too.

    Torry, well done for changing your bed. It is an achievement and you're right that fresh sheets will feel nice.

    As a kid I was always adamant that I loved the feel of a fresh bed so much I'd have clean sheets every day when I was an adult. My mum was right that it wouldn't be such an appealing idea when I had to do my own washing...
    Originally posted by Izadora
    Keep saying it.



    I don't remember what we said that last night.

    Today is a year since my cousin's husband died and tomorrow is a year since we were told my husband had brain secondarily.
    Last edited by Torry Quine; 07-08-2018 at 8:29 PM.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 8th Aug 18, 9:10 PM
    • 17,227 Posts
    • 26,758 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Feeling scared tonight that I might do something to be with him.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 8th Aug 18, 9:17 PM
    • 8,788 Posts
    • 15,856 Thanks
    calleyw
    Feeling scared tonight that I might do something to be with him.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine

    Torry,


    Please don't do that. I know you are in a lot of mental pain.


    Please call the Samaritans 116 123 (UK) now!!!!



    I will give you my number in a PM to call if need be. But don't do this.



    Massive hugs



    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • elsien
    • By elsien 8th Aug 18, 9:30 PM
    • 16,884 Posts
    • 42,624 Thanks
    elsien
    Torrey, try hang on in there. We can't possibly know what you're feeling, but we can see how much pain you are in. Anything I say will probably sound trite right now. But you matter to people, however much it hurts to try to carry on. Just take it an hour at a time.
    If you don't want to talk, Samaritans can just be there on the end of the phone so you know you're not alone. You don't have to be strong. You don't have to be anything. If it's really bad you can take yourself to A&E.
    Will be thinking about you tonight and through the night.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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