Does anyone have experience of changing doctors when you're not in their catchment area? I really really want to go back to my old GP she fought my corner like no other GP i've had. I feel if i could see her again i might get more support? I'm seeingmjy current GP next week, i'm going to be honest about the fatt that recently i have had suicidal feelings, urges to self harm and havng very paranoid thoughts (possibly, i mean i think there are cameras in streetlights filming me but that might actually be a real thing so don't know if its paranoia). In the past 3 weeks i;ve called the samratains 5 times due to being on the edge and not coping. I honestly dont know what its going to take to be refferd back to the mental health team but i can;t go on like this. I havent seen my gp since feb but in the past 4 months ive been more up and down that a seesaw. Ive been relcutant to go back because they just do nothing and it feels so pointless.

I think this is the place to speak - I'm sorry I haven't read everyone elses posts yet but I will do - so sorry if I tread on any ones toes.

I have 3 lovely children. 2 girls and a boy - they girls both have quite severe mental health issues (depression and anxiety) and we as parents have been through the mill over the last few years with them - I have suffered in the past with both myself but nothing of the magnitude they both seem to endure.

My problem now is I just no longer know how to support them and it is getting me down too, and then I feel guilty for feel down and I go round and round in a circle chasing my tail and getting nowhere. DD1 seemed okay for a while, but has a new job and a rented flat and is suddenly not going into work, and they are ringing me to find out where she is and if she is okay. We live 150 miles apart. I cant afford to pay her rent if she doesn't work. She would have to live at home which would mean moving 150 miles away form her very serious boyfriend and that wouldn't help her.

I just don't know what to say to her any more. We clashed when she was a teenager, in that I was a person she thought should be dead (and she planned how to kill me) and I continued to love her as much as possible, and to be there for her and support her as much as I was allowed. We have moved beyond it now, but I still feel she reaches out for me and then rejects everything I try to say or do because it is me saying it. Hubby is as supportive as is possible but isn't a 'talker'. I don't know how to help and am beginning to go under myself now. I am questioning all my parenting choices, trying to find out how it all went wrong, what I did that caused this at the same time as knowing this isn't my fault.

What do I do? How do I help? How do I keep myself sane?

This week is a year since we were told that his xray showed something and the last time he worked. How can that be right?

Today I howled watching The Highland Midwife. I was screaming at him to forgive me for not giving him a child, he would have been a brilliant dad.

I'm crying again posting this.


Curtains closed early again, long days of sunshine are just painful

Hello Tamsin. Sorry for the late reply....had no internet for much of the day and then had to be out all evening, so have only just seen your post.
I really feel for you. You're in a terrible position.
thank you
Is your daughter getting any medical help for the depression/anxiety? yes, GP is very supportive, but of course if she leaves the flat and job she will come home and leave him behind and our GP is rubbish
As she is in a serious relationship, is her partner supportive of her? Does he understand her problems? If so, then your burden is at least shared.yes, yes, and yes - it helps but she is much much better when she is with him and she doesn't share with me much about him. Ideally they should move in together and I think that would really help her - but thats not my call to make

I've been trying to find a support group for relatives of people suffering with depression...... I'm sure they do exist, but haven't been able to track one down yet. It might be helpful for you to meet other parents in a similar situation. that would be good
Sometimes the feeling that you're alone with the problem is the worst thing ever. isn't it just
I'll keep looking.

thank you - just writing it all down, though hard, has helped give some perspective. She DID jack in the job and now we have to deal with the fall out - no money for rent etc - luckily her LL is being very supportive and has agreed to be 'flexible' on the contract. What that entails we don't yet know. She will be coming home for a while (though we are moving soon and to the back of beyond) and at the same time looking for another job more suited and in London. I wanted to scream and shout at her yesterday as I could see the destructive behaviours, but that isn't helpful to either of us. So I held back and just played the supportive mum. She seems calmer today.

That gives you a little breathing space from the worry, then. Where is her partner in all this? If you don't mind me asking.

He is around when he can be - he works odd hours s a peripatetic music teacher and so works some of every day (even Sunday) and he lives in London and she lives outside of London now. He comes over to see her whenever he can and she does the same to see him. (though when she comes home that will be much more difficult). He is incredibly supportive she says. Being away form him she finds incredibly hard and hence the want to get back into London.

Getting the balance right is going to be the next hurdle - as she needs time to get better, but that means being at home with us, and away from the BF. She needs to be with the BF to feel better (he lives with his dad and no space for her too) but needs to be better to get another job and move back to London. We need to find the balance between the two.

I see. It's tricky.

Is she on any medication for it? If not, that might be a useful step?
Sorry if I'm stating the obvious.

I was in the same boat many years ago, moved out of the catchment area of the most supportive understanding medical professional I have ever had the pleasure to meet. So I went to the senior partner and put my case and he agreed I could stay on the books as long as I signed a disclaimer saying I wouldn't ask for a home visit

So go and ask, you have nothing to lose

Good luck x

Yes she is, and in therapy

OMG loads of cuddles for WaSP. Sending good dispersal thoughts his way! xxxxxx


Also good thoughts for you as I know it can be difficult living with someone in a lot of pain

Could I ask for some good thoughts for WaSp please? (that is my partner for those not familiar with that name). He has a deep vein thrombosis in his thigh between the femoral artery and the vein below it. They do not want to risk surgery so he is on strong blood thinners and we are hoping it will disperse. He is in an awful lot of pain. Thank you all.

How are you getting on with her at the moment. Is she compliant? She is slowly compliant - I have to drip feed info and suggestions and let her think about them etc. She often goes off line the moment I message her and then comes back 1/2 an hour later when she has calmed down - she won't talk on the phone as she ends up crying

I think one of the worst aspects of this illness is how it affects the people around the sufferer. It really strains relationships, doesn't it? It does indeed

Unlike a physical illness, it's very hard to live with for any length of time. Let alone if the personalities concern clash at the best of times.

Does she respond to being cuddled? I am only just now, after 8 years, allowed to touch her. (teenage years were hell) Sometimes I can cuddle her, sometimes not - she never responds back but I stop if she stiffens. I still do it if allowed.