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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 504
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 9th May 18, 10:24 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Good luck WaS, you've got this!
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 9th May 18, 1:57 PM
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    dandy-candy
    I've just got back from my counsellor, I'm feeling rather bewildered. I haven't seen her for nearly 2 years as I've been trying to cope without her and ive been on and off medication for a while etc. I had a good blub and told her about my current stresses and how I'm becoming a hermit etc. Her response was get a dog! I said yes I like dogs and would probably like one at some point (which I would) but I don't think my head is in the right place just now. The last pet I had was a cat that peed on my bed and pooed in the bath and I had to give in back after less than 24 hrs because I couldn't cope. Getting a dog right now wouldn't be fair on either of us. She was just like "Oh you will manage, you can do it"
    I left feeling rather dazed, nothing about coping with my current anxiety problems! She didn't even make another appointment for me, just said call me after you get a dog and let me know how it's going. All a bit odd really, I don't know what to think.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th May 18, 3:08 PM
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    elsien
    I think you would have every right to feel slightly fobbed off.
    As a doggy person, they can be beneficial (even the Gitdogs of this world) and when I was depressed having to walk the dog was the only thing that got me off the settee. But that was a dog I already had - as you say, going out and getting one when your head isn't in the right place isn't necessarily the greatest of ideas.
    Could you contact her again and make another appointment? If they ask why, it's ok to say that you didn't feel you had the opportunity to make a proper plan about your anxiety and you need to discuss coping mechanisms that don't involve 4 legs.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 9th May 18, 3:09 PM
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    Pyxis
    I've just got back from my counsellor, I'm feeling rather bewildered. I haven't seen her for nearly 2 years as I've been trying to cope without her and ive been on and off medication for a while etc. I had a good blub and told her about my current stresses and how I'm becoming a hermit etc. Her response was get a dog! I said yes I like dogs and would probably like one at some point (which I would) but I don't think my head is in the right place just now. The last pet I had was a cat that peed on my bed and pooed in the bath and I had to give in back after less than 24 hrs because I couldn't cope. Getting a dog right now wouldn't be fair on either of us. She was just like "Oh you will manage, you can do it"
    I left feeling rather dazed, nothing about coping with my current anxiety problems! She didn't even make another appointment for me, just said call me after you get a dog and let me know how it's going. All a bit odd really, I don't know what to think.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    It could go either way.
    It could be the making of you.....something to look after that gives you unconditional love.
    Or it could be a totally disaster at the mo, and then wouldn't be fair on the dog.

    If you've not had a dog before, they are very hard work, but it's good hard work iyswim, and most of the time doesn't feel like it is, but to do it properly does need effort. The dog will need lots of training, if it's not to be a nuisance, but it is soooooo rewarding.
    And gets you out!

    It also costs a lot, too. Even basic vet bills like annual jabs and worming. And insurance is advised in case of other health problems.

    But, but, but, they are fantastic companions, and worth all of that.

    Only you can decide, though.

    Do you know anyone who could lend you their dog for a day or two? As a try-out?



    Ps. It's totally different from having a cat.
    And yes, you do have to go through the poo/wee stages, plus you have to be prepared to pick up the poo when you're out.
    Last edited by Pyxis; 09-05-2018 at 3:13 PM.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 9th May 18, 4:37 PM
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    dandy-candy
    We used to have dogs growing up so I've had experience living with them but it was 27 years ago (wow, that flew by!) and only went as far as company, cuddles, walking and feeding. If they had to go to the vet or pooped on the floor my dad always handled that. When I see people walking dogs and picking up the poop I do think eww, but I expect it's something you just get used to.
    I don't actually know anyone with a dog, but I honestly don't feel ready to take on any pet right now, as much as I would love one in the future.

    I'm not sure if I will rebook a session with her tbh, in fact when I told DH about it he reminded me I'd had a few off sessions with her in the past which was why I stopped going! I had completely forgotten that
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th May 18, 4:51 PM
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    elsien
    There's always the Cinammon trust if you fancy a little light dog walking without the responsibility, and if you would be ok with a few minutes conversation at each end with the elderly dog owners.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 9th May 18, 7:25 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    I think WaS will go into shock when she hears about a counsellor recommending a dog! She's worked really hard at not making any evaluations or recommendations at all. I must say it seems really weird to me to hear about a counsellor giving advice like this.
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

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    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 10th May 18, 9:59 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Thinking of you WaS, I hope the "thing-we-aren't-calling-an-exam" went well x
    • Lambyr
    • By Lambyr 10th May 18, 10:16 PM
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    • 1,680 Thanks
    Lambyr
    An alternative to getting a puppy which would need a lot of training would be to get a dog from a rehoming centre. Any reputable one would be able to make suggestions as to a good potential match based on housetraining level, activity level, etc. You're also doing a huge favour for the dog itself. Our previous dog was a rehomed dog. She was a naturally nervous dog and her previous home wasn't suitable for her, as there were other dogs there and she was too timid around them so they stole her food and all sorts!

    She was a fantastic dog for us, though. Already housetrained, well behaved, quiet and providing she had her daily walk wanted little more than to snuggle in your lap on the sofa (though also wasn't clingy).

    Not saying you should rush out to the nearest rehoming centre as it is still a huge commitment, especially with potential vet bills, food costs and all of that but it's an option in the future if you want a dog but are reluctant to take one on because of the training requirements.

    But yes, I also agree, it's a very odd thing for a counsellor to suggest.
    She would always like to say,
    Why change the past when you can own this day?
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 11th May 18, 3:10 AM
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    Waves and Smiles
    How are we all today?

    Ummm.... I did it!

    I passed the exam and am now a fully qualified Crisis Intervention Responder with a pretty certificate to prove it! Next Wednesday is my first live shift doing it for real. Expect a post soon all about what I learnt from this because I learnt far more than how to do the work. I can honestly say it's changed me as a person for the better.

    Dandy what on earth is your counsellor doing?! As JM says I just spent months learning not to give clear suggestions and becoming a blank sheet of paper for my client to write on, how strange for a counsellor to make such an obvious suggestion. That isn't the usual practice at all.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th May 18, 4:57 AM
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    • 143,343 Thanks
    Pyxis
    How are we all today?

    Ummm.... I did it!

    I passed the exam and am now a fully qualified Crisis Intervention Responder with a pretty certificate to prove it! Next Wednesday is my first live shift doing it for real. Expect a post soon all about what I learnt from this because I learnt far more than how to do the work. I can honestly say it's changed me as a person for the better.

    Dandy what on earth is your counsellor doing?! As JM says I just spent months learning not to give clear suggestions and becoming a blank sheet of paper for my client to write on, how strange for a counsellor to make such an obvious suggestion. That isn't the usual practice at all.
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    Well done WaS!

    We all knew you could do it!

    Does this mean that Sir Pugliet will now have to be callied CIR Pugliet?

    (Not bad for 04:58, eh?)
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 11th May 18, 6:01 AM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Oooh well done, Pyxis! That's very impressive for that time of the morning!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 11th May 18, 10:04 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Well done WaS! I'm so pleased for you

    I'm supposed to be planning a one night get away for tomorrow. I had all week to arrange it but have been putting it off because of my anxiety. I have just found somewhere that looks perfect and rang to book it but suddenly got cold feet and hung up before they answered. I will try again in a moment.

    I hope everyone has a good day and something nice planned for their weekend

    *edit to add I just booked it! Excited and nervous in one!
    Last edited by dandy-candy; 11-05-2018 at 10:19 AM.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 11th May 18, 11:02 AM
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    Izadora
    Well done WaS. I never doubted you could do it and I hope you enjoy your first shift on Wednesday.

    Dandy, well done and I hope you enjoy your night away.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 11th May 18, 11:06 AM
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    onomatopoeia99
    Well done WaS
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 11th May 18, 11:47 AM
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    jobbingmusician
    That's absolutely brilliant (although I would never have had faith in an organisation that didn't realse how wonderful you are ) I do hope you'll have some interesting work with them and appreciate what a mountain you have climbed in overcoming your anxieties about working.

    And well done dandy! Enjoy your weekend!

    Lots of love to all xxxxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th May 18, 5:20 AM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Hi all! How are we doing?

    Just to let you know xXMessedUpXx is fine and thinking of everyone so we don't need to be worried about her.

    I had my first shift tonight and I loved it! I wanted to carry on for longer, 4 hours isn't enough! It is much less stressful for me than the training believe it or not because I don't have such a fear of failure. I can't wait to do my next shift on Saturday.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 17th May 18, 7:33 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Great work WaS, fab that you are enjoying it

    Glad that MU is doing well.

    I really enjoyed the weekend away. it was lovely to spend time with the kids all together, it's such a rare thing now that they have grown up!
    We all climbed Glastonbury tor (I'm so unfit!) then went to our hotel and had a lovely dinner in the restaurant next door, the best dinner we've had out in years. The next day we went exploring rock pools at the beach before having a pub lunch and cream tea. The weather was perfect, sunny but not too hot. I didn't want to leave, especially coming back to the London traffic and crowds after being in the beautiful countryside. I would love to live somewhere rural
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 17th May 18, 8:36 AM
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    jobbingmusician
    What a lovely (almost-) start to my day, hearing about WaS-success and dandy's lovely tor visit. The tor takes me back to my childhood, as my mother's family was from Devon and we often went down to climb it! (Don't think I'd be up to it nowadays, although even writing that I'm aware it's a challenge to myself.)

    And lovely to hear news of MU - thank you, WaS xxx

    Squish cupboard replenished!
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th May 18, 9:20 PM
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    • 21,838 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    What a lovely weekend Dandy! I want to live somewhere rural, I might actually step out of my flat then.

    I have been pondering what is happening with my mind these days. I almost have two me's now. When I am not working things are pretty much as they were, my thoughts drift and I feel as if I am almost falling back into my mind and everything feels anxious and distorted and rather psychotic really. But as soon as I begin to work everything suddenly feels clear and sharp and I am able to focus totally on what I'm doing and be totally grounded. It's like someone has flipped a switch and the intrusive thoughts and emotions stop and there is no fog anymore. Within an hour of finishing everything becomes foggy and I don't feel real again. Maybe I just need to do shifts forever?

    Has anyone else had anything like this? Is it just me? I am trying to understand how I can switch from one to the other, for all I know this is normal for everyone who works. It's been so long since I had any work responsibility that I have forgotten what it feels like.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
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