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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,131Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread !!!8220;Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2!!!8221;. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 494
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 2nd Feb 18, 7:28 PM
    • 34,850 Posts
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    Pyxis
    Yes, thinking of you, Torry.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 2nd Feb 18, 7:28 PM
    • 1,801 Posts
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    dandy-candy
    Torry have you asked your gp for a referral to a bereavement counsellor? In the mean time do call the samaritans if you need to. They are there to help people people just like you and are so lovely. ((Hugs))
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 2nd Feb 18, 8:15 PM
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    Torry Quine
    Torry have you asked your gp for a referral to a bereavement counsellor? In the mean time do call the samaritans if you need to. They are there to help people people just like you and are so lovely. ((Hugs))
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    I've been seeing a counsellor at the local cancer support centre anyway so will go back to her. I did call the Samaritans when he was last in hospital and may again.


    Thanks all for your good wishes, the funeral was hard and it seems so unreal still
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 2nd Feb 18, 8:24 PM
    • 34,850 Posts
    • 129,394 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I've been seeing a counsellor at the local cancer support centre anyway so will go back to her. I did call the Samaritans when he was last in hospital and may again.


    Thanks all for your good wishes, the funeral was hard and it seems so unreal still
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    Hopefully with the pills, you'll get a good sleep tonight.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 3rd Feb 18, 10:11 PM
    • 4,337 Posts
    • 3,812 Thanks
    dekaspace
    What is with my neighbours? After that talk we had a few weeks back the noise calmed down, I was away 3 days this week and came back to noise even louder than before, again sounded like a large group of people yesterday, on top of their new dog barking (the one they claim they are "babysitting" which will be 6 weeks as of now) she admitted when we spoke a few weeks ago she had 10 kids in her house that time when it was so loud my walls were shaking, and my lightshade was wobbling side to side.


    Laminate flooring, new dog both which are banned under social housing rules 10 kids, 20 adults in one flat stomping about on laminate


    Last time the excuse was "I cant handle 10 kids, and kids will be kids" and "I don't see guests every day"


    Its now 10.10pm and the noise is ongoing, yesterday it was for 3 hours straight.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 4th Feb 18, 3:42 PM
    • 4,337 Posts
    • 3,812 Thanks
    dekaspace
    It went on to past 3am in the end getting louder and louder but dragged myself to bed, today was woken around 11am by 30 minutes of hoovering.


    I got up and was so dizzy and stressed when I had my shower I literally put my arm against the wall and put my eyes on it and dozed
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 4th Feb 18, 6:10 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
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    Torry Quine
    I called the Samaritans yesterday evening, mostly just cried down the phone. Our anniversary is on February 14th so they will call me then to see how I'm feeling
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Feb 18, 6:25 PM
    • 34,850 Posts
    • 129,394 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I called the Samaritans yesterday evening, mostly just cried down the phone. Our anniversary is on February 14th so they will call me then to see how I'm feeling
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    Oh Torry, how sad.
    And what a shame to have such a poignant date so soon.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 4th Feb 18, 6:34 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 26,528 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Oh Torry, how sad.
    And what a shame to have such a poignant date so soon.
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Everywhere I look there's something about Valentine's Day, it just feels like rubbing it in. I've cried most of today, not much sleep last night and I feel so cold.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Feb 18, 6:38 PM
    • 34,850 Posts
    • 129,394 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Everywhere I look there's something about Valentine's Day, it just feels like rubbing it in. I've cried most of today, not much sleep last night and I feel so cold.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    Have you got a hot water bottle you can hug?

    Or just go to bed and watch some inane TV....then you can snuggle under the duvet with the hottie.

    How's the cat?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 4th Feb 18, 6:44 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 26,528 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Have you got a hot water bottle you can hug?

    Or just go to bed and watch some inane TV....then you can snuggle under the duvet with the hottie.

    How's the cat?
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I got myself a hot water bottle with a cute cover and cuddle up to it. I'm sleeping in the living room as I just can't face the bedroom where he went. TV on to stop the silence.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 5th Feb 18, 4:57 AM
    • 34,850 Posts
    • 129,394 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Torry, I hope you got some sleep last night.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 5th Feb 18, 7:05 AM
    • 30,581 Posts
    • 57,772 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Still thinking of you Torry. What a dreadful time this must be for you. Hope you have some support.
    Member #10 of 2 savers club
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 5th Feb 18, 11:57 AM
    • 19,141 Posts
    • 19,609 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Thinking of you, Torry. The phrase 'safe in the arms of Jesus' helps me a bit, even though generally I feel that I don't relate to Christianity. Is there a phrase like this you can hold on to? Even if it's something like 'shuffling off this mortal coil' where you can celebrate the fact that nothing can ever hurt Loon again, that he is done with all the problems that being in this world brings, and at peace?
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 5th Feb 18, 1:35 PM
    • 4,337 Posts
    • 3,812 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Really can't cope with neighbour at minute, they had that party from 8pm to past 4am Sunday, every night last week groups of visitors round, barking dog which they leave alone, woken this morning on my 1 day off this week at 8.40am by screaming kids running around then the "babysitter" speaking at shouting volume and laughing, then they go out at 1pm and leave dog pacing about and knocking over furniture.


    The stress got so bad that yesterday when I went to friends house I was given abuse by some teenagers and normally just ignoring it I shouted back at the kids and walked up to them whcih made them call their friends for backup but I still didnt' back down and the teenagers ran off.
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 6th Feb 18, 5:36 PM
    • 5,131 Posts
    • 21,756 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Just popping in quickly, we are back home but things are chaotic here with boxes and bags everywhere. I need to sort through them all but I am being hampered by a torn cartilage in my knee. It is the oddest injury ever, one minute I am walking and it aches a little, the next it just gives way and I am on the floor. It is an 8 week healing time which is frustrating, all I did was trip up a stair in the hotel!

    Hugs and warm handshakes to all and a special, gentle hug to Torry, you have been much in my thoughts my friend.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 6th Feb 18, 5:41 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 26,528 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Thinking of you, Torry. The phrase 'safe in the arms of Jesus' helps me a bit, even though generally I feel that I don't relate to Christianity. Is there a phrase like this you can hold on to? Even if it's something like 'shuffling off this mortal coil' where you can celebrate the fact that nothing can ever hurt Loon again, that he is done with all the problems that being in this world brings, and at peace?
    Originally posted by jobbingmusician
    Even though I'm a believer I'm just too angry with God at the moment.


    Just popping in quickly, we are back home but things are chaotic here with boxes and bags everywhere. I need to sort through them all but I am being hampered by a torn cartilage in my knee. It is the oddest injury ever, one minute I am walking and it aches a little, the next it just gives way and I am on the floor. It is an 8 week healing time which is frustrating, all I did was trip up a stair in the hotel!

    Hugs and warm handshakes to all and a special, gentle hug to Torry, you have been much in my thoughts my friend.
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    I'm a total mess. Crying and howling most of the time. I don't have the resources to do anything. Well meaning people keep telling me I need to have structure and do things but how can I?
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 6th Feb 18, 5:57 PM
    • 17,133 Posts
    • 45,081 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Even though I'm a believer I'm just too angry with God at the moment.
    Originally posted by Torry Quine
    I can understand this, my grandparents were very religious,always went to church, helped out there etc. When my gradand died i was angry with god too. I couldn;t understand why he;d taken my grandad away when he did everything he was supposed to do. Even my nan i;d say lost some faith when he passed.

    I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much right now. I wish i could take that pain away. Is there anything in particular you could distract yourself with? any hobbies or interests? You probably wont feel like doing anything, but if theres anything you can do to distract you it may help in the sort term. You;ve said you've called samaratians, if it helped before would it help to call again? I'm sure they won;t mind at all and it might help to talka bout how you're feeling? Sorry if none of this is helpful x
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 6th Feb 18, 6:17 PM
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    • 21,756 Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Torry, it is too early to structure anything right now, please only do what you feel capable of. People mean well and want to see you feeling better but there is no timeline for the devastation of grief. You don't have to do anymore than basic functioning right now which is eating when you can and drinking water. If you can manage to drink and have a light meal a day you have done enough. Everything else can wait.

    Scream and cry as much as you want to, this is your pain, not anyone elses and you get to choose how you express that. You will feel many different things over the coming weeks and all are ok, be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to feel without any pressure to do what others think you should do.

    We are all here for you, please post as much as you need. My heart truly goes out to you and if any of us can help in any way just ask. I know you feel alone but as much as we can be we are with you my friend.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 6th Feb 18, 8:16 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 26,528 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    I can understand this, my grandparents were very religious,always went to church, helped out there etc. When my gradand died i was angry with god too. I couldn;t understand why he;d taken my grandad away when he did everything he was supposed to do. Even my nan i;d say lost some faith when he passed.

    I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much right now. I wish i could take that pain away. Is there anything in particular you could distract yourself with? any hobbies or interests? You probably wont feel like doing anything, but if theres anything you can do to distract you it may help in the sort term. You;ve said you've called samaratians, if it helped before would it help to call again? I'm sure they won;t mind at all and it might help to talka bout how you're feeling? Sorry if none of this is helpful x
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    It's fine thanks. That's how it feels, he was so faithful throughout his illness that this feels like a punishment from God.
    Torry, it is too early to structure anything right now, please only do what you feel capable of. People mean well and want to see you feeling better but there is no timeline for the devastation of grief. You don't have to do anymore than basic functioning right now which is eating when you can and drinking water. If you can manage to drink and have a light meal a day you have done enough. Everything else can wait.

    Scream and cry as much as you want to, this is your pain, not anyone elses and you get to choose how you express that. You will feel many different things over the coming weeks and all are ok, be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to feel without any pressure to do what others think you should do.

    We are all here for you, please post as much as you need. My heart truly goes out to you and if any of us can help in any way just ask. I know you feel alone but as much as we can be we are with you my friend.
    Originally posted by Waves and Smiles
    I feel that getting dressed is a major achievement. Anything else is too much.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
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