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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,136Posts
    • 21,799Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread !!!8220;Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2!!!8221;. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 488
    • uberalles
    • By uberalles 12th Jan 18, 6:07 AM
    • 4,076 Posts
    • 8,461 Thanks
    uberalles
    Well I have made a few changes for my health in recent years.

    Gave up drugs
    Stopped seeing people that were a bad influence
    Gave up smoking
    Gave up adding sugar to anything
    Gave up gambling
    Gave up impulse shopping
    Gave up caffeine now
    Eat more vegetables

    I don't really exercise much lately and I know that would help hugely. I mostly suffer(ed) with social/regret types of anxiety/depression.

    I've been doing alot of reading too on my morning commutes and since giving up caffeine (only since christmas) for the first time ever I actually feel relaxed and my head is not all fuzzy and crowded with random thoughts and rubbish all day.

    I do not know if this would help anyone else but I read the Allen Carr books for my addictions (helped with all) and i'm currently reading an interesting book on anxiety that I recommend; Dr. Claire Weekes - Self help for your nerves: learn to relax and enjoy life again by overcoming stress and fear.
    Originally posted by SuperPikachu
    That is fantastic Pikachu, it is very inspirational reading that somebody is taking responsibilty for themselves, in your case lots. Brilliant, well done.
    • uberalles
    • By uberalles 12th Jan 18, 6:10 AM
    • 4,076 Posts
    • 8,461 Thanks
    uberalles
    Its more so neither of us spend it, Swain isn;t too bad with money but i'm terrible which is why i give him money to save for me, i shall ask about putting it into an account though

    I was supposed to start the bipolar group session today but its a morrning session (yes i too am questioning the sanity to put a group of people with bipolar on a cocktail of sedative medications in a morning session ) and with working late on wednsdays (i didnt get home till 11:30 last night)i just can't do it. So i;ve asked if i can defer starting till the next session in june and i'm going to ask work if they will give me early wednesday finishes then/ Its only for 9 weeks so hopfully it can be done.
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Oh, that's not good Messedup.

    When did they drop that bombshell on you about it being a morning session? I'm interpreting that it must have been short notice.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 12th Jan 18, 6:13 AM
    • 35,625 Posts
    • 132,035 Thanks
    Pyxis
    . But sometimes I just really need someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    Blimey, Dandy! I can so relate to that!
    The power of hugs, eh? Yet a lot of men find that hard to appreciate.



    Out of interest, have you told him how helpful some hugs would be at those times?

    And that it's not the same if you have to ask for a hug?


    Swain is very understanding. If i'm down he;'l offer me hugs and reassurance. if i' m up he'll try and calm me down. I'm very lucky that hes so understanding because i can be a living nightmare to deal with.

    I;ve not always been so lucky.

    One of my exes did not deal with it well. When i was going through different medications he told me that the mental health team should think of him cos he was the one who had to deal with me/ he threatened to kill himself because i "stressed him out", he told me he wished i;d died from my last suicide attempt, and when i was struggling with self harm told me he's do it himself to me if i carried on

    another ex refused point blank to acknowledge i was even mentally ill and told me frequently there were other people more deserving of benfits than me.

    So i've had mixed reactions.
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Oh goodness, MU!

    Well, you're well out of those relationships!
    I'm amazed you survived them!

    also Pyxis, i've had no pepsi max all week and nearly drank though all the green tea work actually have i'm trying hard to kick the fizzy pop habit!
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Yey!



    Go MU!





    And I'm on my 12th day of Dry January!


    Go us! Go us!
    Last edited by Pyxis; 12-01-2018 at 6:22 AM.
    Denmark and Senegal
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 12th Jan 18, 9:42 AM
    • 1,540 Posts
    • 4,459 Thanks
    Izadora
    I'm very lucky that IzHe's naturally a cuddler so if I'm feeling down one of the first things he'll do is give me a hug. He does also try to fix things, I think it's a fairly standard male trait, but is slowly learning that sometimes I just want someone to say "there there" rather than try to give me solutions.

    One of my favourite things he does is when I'm curled up in my chair and a bit mopey he'll build a fort round me with the sofa cushions and a blanket

    MU - well done on the fizzy pop and I hope all goes well with deferring the bipolar group.

    Pikachu - that's a massive amount of change to make, well done!!

    Pyxis - yay for sticking with dry January, well done.

    Ono - I totally agree. If I want chocolate then nothing, no matter how nice, is going to be an acceptable substitute.

    It sounds utterly ridiculous but last year I didn't join my best mate in giving up chocolate for Lent because I was trying to diet - previous years I've found that I end up eating tonnes of biscuits in an attempt to satisfy a craving that one square of chocolate would get rid of.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 12th Jan 18, 10:29 AM
    • 4,280 Posts
    • 9,650 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I'm very lucky that IzHe's naturally a cuddler so if I'm feeling down one of the first things he'll do is give me a hug. He does also try to fix things, I think it's a fairly standard male trait, but is slowly learning that sometimes I just want someone to say "there there" rather than try to give me solutions.
    Originally posted by Izadora
    I'm a more fixer rather than a source of comfort . I give hugs, but my way of thinking is "you're unhappy because of X, how can I help solve X for you?"
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 12th Jan 18, 11:38 AM
    • 1,808 Posts
    • 9,389 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Mu I too am glad you left those crummy exs behind! Some people have no compassion.

    Pyxis hugs are the best medication! And you're right that an asked for hug isn't the same as a automatic one, if I sort of bury myself into him though he does get the hint and give me a cuddle.

    Izadora your fort comment really made me lol, thanks for sharing that
    • geminilady
    • By geminilady 19th Jan 18, 12:44 AM
    • 1,733 Posts
    • 7,327 Thanks
    geminilady
    I don't post very often but read and wow it is quiet on here! would hate the thread to go as there used to be one for depression a few years back and it disappeared.so come on everyone get posting
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 19th Jan 18, 7:23 AM
    • 35,625 Posts
    • 132,035 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I'm a more fixer rather than a source of comfort . I give hugs, but my way of thinking is "you're unhappy because of X, how can I help solve X for you?"
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Aw! Give 'em a hug first, Ono, then do the fixing!

    Hugs should always be the default setting!




    Besides:

    Before a hug........HUGE PROBLEM



    After a hug...........Problem half the size and not as fiercesome.


    Denmark and Senegal
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 19th Jan 18, 7:26 AM
    • 35,625 Posts
    • 132,035 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Re. the thread, I suppose it's trickier without our honourable leader.


    But she has been in a bad way.

    WaS, if you're lurking, do pop in, if you feel up to it!
    You started a brilliant set of threads, and helped loads of people!






    By the way, I'm over the hump with Dry January, and still going strong!
    Denmark and Senegal
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 19th Jan 18, 9:12 AM
    • 1,540 Posts
    • 4,459 Thanks
    Izadora
    By the way, I'm over the hump with Dry January, and still going strong!
    Originally posted by Pyxis


    Well done and keep up the good work.

    Happy Friday everyone.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 19th Jan 18, 9:33 AM
    • 16,531 Posts
    • 41,722 Thanks
    elsien
    I'm still here.

    Vent alert: self pitying self indulgent whinge coming up. Feel free to skip, not after advice, just having a moan.



    My usual January blues have kicked in and motivation is zero.
    Gitdog is poorly and is being far too subdued. . (This is a comparative thing - he'd be acting normally for any other dog!)
    Work is ridiculously pressured and not likely to change any time soon.
    can't remember when i last got together with friends
    Written off my car in an accident of my own making.
    House is a tip and thoroughly depressing me. And needs lots of work doing to it that i am currently ignoring.


    Roll on spring.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th Jan 18, 12:23 PM
    • 8,756 Posts
    • 15,781 Thanks
    calleyw
    Re. the thread, I suppose it's trickier without our honourable leader.


    But she has been in a bad way.

    WaS, if you're lurking, do pop in, if you feel up to it!
    You started a brilliant set of threads, and helped loads of people!
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Morning All,

    Yes I am missing WaS as well. Not the same without her. She does like sloths does she not?

    I have failed to link a picture off to work on my tech skills LOL!!!

    Calley X
    Last edited by calleyw; 19-01-2018 at 12:27 PM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • geminilady
    • By geminilady 19th Jan 18, 12:30 PM
    • 1,733 Posts
    • 7,327 Thanks
    geminilady
    Just realised it was a bit of a cheek posting about the thread when I don't post much myself but my intentions were good. Elsien why not organise a night out with your friends it might give you a boost.Maybe Gitdog has picked up on your mood?
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th Jan 18, 12:32 PM
    • 8,756 Posts
    • 15,781 Thanks
    calleyw
    Morning all,

    Hand shakes, hugs and squishes all around.

    Flipping heck can't even put in a picture in a post. Failing badly today

    Anyway trying my hardest not to go and make chocolate brownies to shovel down my throat.

    Today not a good day. Feeling really low and teary and no idea why. Nothing has happened. Just woke up feeling a bit fat lump. Did not help over hearing a woman at the gym who had said she had a baby 9 months ago and she looked fantastic I know AM loves me as I am. But still I am big fat moo.

    Anyway better let the dog out before he wets himself.

    Everyone take care.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 19th Jan 18, 1:05 PM
    • 1,540 Posts
    • 4,459 Thanks
    Izadora
    Flipping heck can't even put in a picture in a post.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    Ever since they changed photobucket and made it a pain to use I haven't had a clue how to post pictures.

    Today not a good day. Feeling really low and teary and no idea why. Nothing has happened. Just woke up feeling a bit fat lump. Did not help over hearing a woman at the gym who had said she had a baby 9 months ago and she looked fantastic I know AM loves me as I am. But still I am big fat moo.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    Firstly, you're not a big fat moo!! Secondly, please try not to compare yourself to other people. It's not something which will ever cheer you up and you're also comparing one tiny part of who/what you each are. Okay, she may have a fantastic figure but you don't know anything else about her. It may be because her husband's an evil tyrant who told her that he'd leave her if she took longer than 6 months to lose her baby-weight and she'd give anything to have someone like AM who would love her no matter what.

    Rather than focusing on other people try to remember the good things about you and you life (yes, I know that's a LOT easier said than done...)
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th Jan 18, 2:35 PM
    • 8,756 Posts
    • 15,781 Thanks
    calleyw
    Ever since they changed photobucket and made it a pain to use I haven't had a clue how to post pictures.
    Originally posted by Izadora
    That will be the answer


    Firstly, you're not a big fat moo!! Secondly, please try not to compare yourself to other people. It's not something which will ever cheer you up and you're also comparing one tiny part of who/what you each are. Okay, she may have a fantastic figure but you don't know anything else about her. It may be because her husband's an evil tyrant who told her that he'd leave her if she took longer than 6 months to lose her baby-weight and she'd give anything to have someone like AM who would love her no matter what.

    Rather than focusing on other people try to remember the good things about you and you life (yes, I know that's a LOT easier said than done...)
    Originally posted by Izadora
    I am grossly over weight for my height. I am well aware that I should not compare myself to others. As you are right you only see one tiny part of their lives. And she probably has worked hard to get back to her pre baby weight.

    I went to kettle fit class the other day. And I could not do some of the exercises like burpees. It just make me feel such a failure. I lack co-ordination as well. Which is not helpful. I know how I got the size I am. By shoveling food down my throat.

    Its just on days like this I feel like a big fat failure. And that I don't contribute enough to the house, and community or anything.

    Right having toast for lunch. Thought was better than brownies

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 19th Jan 18, 3:25 PM
    • 35,625 Posts
    • 132,035 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Ever since they changed photobucket and made it a pain to use I haven't had a clue how to post pictures.

    .)
    Originally posted by Izadora
    Try postimage. They are much easier than photobucket, and you don't need to open an account if you just want to post pics.

    http://postimages.org
    Denmark and Senegal
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • elsien
    • By elsien 19th Jan 18, 6:10 PM
    • 16,531 Posts
    • 41,722 Thanks
    elsien

    I went to kettle fit class the other day. And I could not do some of the exercises like burpees. It just make me feel such a failure. I lack co-ordination as well. Which is not helpful. I know how I got the size I am. By shoveling food down my throat.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    That's just because you're only just starting to exercise Calley. It's perfectly normal not to be able to do everything to start off with whatever size or shape you are. You should have seen me in pilates last week when everyone except me was having no trouble with one particular exercise and I kept falling flat on my face with a load groan. Despite being a small person and younger than half of them.
    Just build up slowly. And give yourself credit for getting there in the first place.

    On a more positive note than earlier my snowdrops are out, which always makes me smile.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th Jan 18, 11:09 PM
    • 8,756 Posts
    • 15,781 Thanks
    calleyw
    That's just because you're only just starting to exercise Calley. It's perfectly normal not to be able to do everything to start off with whatever size or shape you are. You should have seen me in pilates last week when everyone except me was having no trouble with one particular exercise and I kept falling flat on my face with a load groan. Despite being a small person and younger than half of them.
    Just build up slowly. And give yourself credit for getting there in the first place.
    Originally posted by elsien
    I suppose so. But I just feel out of my depth. Going to boxercise tomorrow!!!!!!

    Me and AM do a routine we have been set by a PT at the gym a couple of times a week. Also he runs and I do cardio which means cross trainer, treadmill and cycle a couple miles on each. And we have started to add classes in as well. As a lot of them cost nothing as they are part of our fee.



    On a more positive note than earlier my snowdrops are out, which always makes me smile.
    Originally posted by elsien
    I love snow drops and daffs. Will have to see if I can find some to put in pots in the garden. And hope the dog does pee on them

    Night night all. Hope everyone manages some sort of rest.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • elsien
    • By elsien 20th Jan 18, 10:53 AM
    • 16,531 Posts
    • 41,722 Thanks
    elsien
    Now the boxercise I'm very impressed with. With regards to any exercise that gets me out of breath I'm still at the "I really should, but..." stage.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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