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    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 15th Mar 16, 9:12 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    It's not a lot, but it's enough
    • #1
    • 15th Mar 16, 9:12 AM
    It's not a lot, but it's enough 15th Mar 16 at 9:12 AM
    Good day to you all.

    Can I start by saying I feel a bit embarrassed about starting this diary. Not because of my debt, but because in comparison to other peoples situation I seem to be in a better position to clear it. However Iíve been considering starting a diary like this for a while as I feel itís really been getting me down, like thereís a huge black cloud following me everywhere I go. I feel I think about money Ė or more specifically my debt - all day, every day, and hopefully having a place to come and post of my attempts to reduce it will help keep my chin up and motivate me.

    A bit about me. Iím 25 and I live with my mum for now and I have a steady and comfortable paying job. I was in a relationship for 8 years and we had a joint savings account with a view to buy a place. When that relationship ended, I went off the rails. I blew my half of the savings while at the same time took out a credit card telling myself Iíll use it to increase my credit score by only using it to buy petrol and paying back at the end of every month. That didnít go to plan. I know have 2 credit cards (just recently paid off my third); Tesco Credit Card - £2,614.19 and Barclaycard - £693.88. Both of which are 0% interest for now.

    The thing is, I know that my debt is manageable. Iím not spiralling out of control with interest. I donít have a mortgage. I donít have any kids. My expenditure is relatively low. I can and I will do this!

    Although this is a Debt Free Diary, I have a view for this to become a Saving Diary once Iíve cleared these cards. I want to feel the way I felt 3 years ago with no debt and thus no worries. To be happy again.

    My plan to clear this debt was originally to still try and maintain an element of my lifestyle that got me into this mess while being sensible. At the end of each month, any remaining money in my account would be transferred to my credit cards, this is already on top of my direct debits to meet the minimum repayments. However I found that this technique gave me too long a leash and I wasnít being tight enough. This month I actually have a stag do in Amsterdam (paid for by said credit cards) and with no savings, I had to use money from this months wages for spending money, leaving me skint for the remainder of the month, but goes to show that I can stow away a large chunk at the start of the month and force me to make the sacrifices. So thatís the plan, so put away a sizeable amount at the start of each month, the day I get paid.

    Thank you for reading and appreciate the support.

    Peace and Love!
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
Page 44
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 10th Jul 18, 8:28 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    I've officially got the cold, from a (different) colleague, which meant no football last night and the gym this morning wasn't very productive. Tonight, should the weather allow, I'll do some gardening at my mums for a bit. Chilli for dinner.

    The girl from work phoned me last night with work related things. Once the work chat finished, the conversation went on to the dinner I was making and she wants to take me to a pizza place next week. Few things;

    1. She's keen (we already know this). Perhaps too keen.
    2. Isn't it the man's job to take the other person out?
    3. If the above is true, I can't afford it!!

    Anyway, I'm away for a coffee.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 10th Jul 18, 3:17 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    If she wants to take you out and you want to go, then do it. It's not the man's job - everyone equal and all that. However, if you're not sure then I also think there's a lot to be said for trusting your gut instinct...
    Hope you're feeling better soon
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 10th Jul 18, 3:36 PM
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    efes shareholder
    Is showing that you enjoyed spending time with someone and would like the oppurtunity to do it again considered needy ? Or is it just assertive ?

    Having said that , if you arent "feeling" it then it may be safer not to encourage a second date if you could make working together tricky
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 10th Jul 18, 3:59 PM
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    SpekySquarehead
    Is showing that you enjoyed spending time with someone and would like the oppurtunity to do it again considered needy ? Or is it just assertive ?

    Having said that , if you arent "feeling" it then it may be safer not to encourage a second date if you could make working together tricky
    Originally posted by efes shareholder
    A good point. I am low maintenance, which I know isn't to some peoples taste. The constant texting/calling makes me feel like I'm being controlled or not trusted. I enjoy me time, alone time, wither that's to do absolutely nothing or not, I value that time and I fear that this could soon disappear.

    I said I was looking to take things slowly, to which she said she understood. Next thing I know she's not happy that I couldn't commit to another date in a couple of days.

    That being said, I think that I'm perhaps overthinking and being hesitant due to being single for 2 years. I can't have my cake and eat it, something has to give. My heads all over the place and I genuinely don't know if I'm 'feeling' it or not.

    If she wants to take you out and you want to go, then do it. It's not the man's job - everyone equal and all that. However, if you're not sure then I also think there's a lot to be said for trusting your gut instinct...
    Hope you're feeling better soon
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    I know, I know, but there's something about it which doesn't sit right with me. As I said CCL, my gut is really unsure.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 10th Jul 18, 4:21 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    She's keen (we already know this). Perhaps too keen.
    Isn't it the man's job to take the other person out?
    I'm a lot older than you and from a generation where it was considered the man should pay for nights out. (My partner does still pay when we go out but basically it's all coming form "our" money so that's OK). Basically though, I don't think that's the case now - equal jobs, equal money and all that!
    What worries me more is that you think she's a bit too keen and you're not really ready for the phone me/text me/tell me everything you're doing/where are you kind of relationship. I wouldn't be either. If you like her enough to go out with her again then I think that you have to make that clear from the outset and suggest that you split the bill (or something like that). However, I would trust your instincts. If you're really unsure then just say "no thank you". You might be surprised, though. She might think a friendly kind of relationship is what she wants. Who knows?
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 10th Jul 18, 9:38 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    I know, I know, but there's something about it which doesn't sit right with me. As I said CCL, my gut is really unsure.
    Originally posted by SpekySquarehead
    I hate to sound like the voice of doom, but go with your gut. You're a nice guy and if you're not sure I would stop it now before she gets very involved.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 11th Jul 18, 8:35 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    I'm a lot older than you and from a generation where it was considered the man should pay for nights out. (My partner does still pay when we go out but basically it's all coming form "our" money so that's OK). Basically though, I don't think that's the case now - equal jobs, equal money and all that!
    What worries me more is that you think she's a bit too keen and you're not really ready for the phone me/text me/tell me everything you're doing/where are you kind of relationship. I wouldn't be either. If you like her enough to go out with her again then I think that you have to make that clear from the outset and suggest that you split the bill (or something like that). However, I would trust your instincts. If you're really unsure then just say "no thank you". You might be surprised, though. She might think a friendly kind of relationship is what she wants. Who knows?
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    Perhaps it's not the norm anymore but I do like being the traditional gentlemen which I think a lot of guys my age don't. The simple things.

    I think you're right in making it clear from the off. This situation has consumed a lot of my thinking of late and I've come a similair conclusion.

    I hate to sound like the voice of doom, but go with your gut. You're a nice guy and if you're not sure I would stop it now before she gets very involved.
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    The voice of doom

    I'm naturally a pessimist, so I know that voice very well. I've got some time to come to a concrete decision so I'll continue to chew it over.



    Thank you both for your advice. I really appreciate it.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 16th Jul 18, 8:33 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    The weekend was a busy one, which included another stag do. Well it was actually the home leg of the Ibiza one, so all the elders were in attendance and they were really good fun. I probably spent more than I should have. I've not counted yet but I recon I spent circa £80 all in. I'll check my bank tomorrow once it catches up with all transactions.

    The wedding is next week and I've still to buy a gift. So I'll need to have a look over my budget again and see what I can afford.

    So, I was speaking to the girl who asked me out for pizza last night and we've agreed to go out on Thursday night, after work. We'll both stay late until most people have left then I'll drive us both over. She explained that she has vouchers to use so if all goes well, I'll tell her the next one is on me. Whilst I'm still unsure about the whole thing, I'm leaning towards giving it a shot.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 19th Jul 18, 8:56 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    So its going to be date night on Friday after we finish work, which I must admit, Im looking forward to.

    Im a thinker. I do a lot of it. I cant help but playing the what if scenarios out in my head and theres one which keeps cropping up - rightly or wrongly.

    What if things go swimmingly well and we start to see each other and then she moves in with me (she currently lives with her parents). Once shes officially in and we start to split costs, all of a sudden Ill have a bit more disposable income. Not to fritter away on needless things, but to get back to saving for emergencies and get my car serviced etc.

    Im beating myself up a bit because this is a recurring though. This, amongst others of course, is a huge benefit of finding a partner and Im scared in the chance that its clouding my judgement.

    Am I being hugely selfish here?
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 19th Jul 18, 9:42 AM
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    efes shareholder
    No - I often have these thoughts

    You seem switched on enough however to know that you have to get on and not just see the benefit to your finances of cohabiting
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 23rd Jul 18, 8:35 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    A very nice weekend was had.

    Friday was date night. We both stayed late in the office until most people left then I drove us both over to the restaurant which she picked. It turned out that the vouchers she had didn't cover the full meal, so I paid the rest which made me feel a bit better about it all. After that we went to the pictures and I dropper home afterwards. It was a good night and I'll see her outside of the office again, potentially this week at some point.

    The wedding on Saturday was brilliant, a really good night at a lovely venue. Knackered from it all mind you.

    Really busy day today, so I have to dash.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 23rd Jul 18, 9:05 AM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    I'm really pleased that you've had a few good days Speky, and that the date went well - happy days
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 26th Jul 18, 8:32 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    Payday!!! And it's also my birthday, so I may perhaps get a little bonus from my mum or gran.

    My car is booked in for a service on Saturday and will cost me £187. Far from ideal but as the car is on a PCP, it has to be with genuine parts and so it's something I'll have to suck up. I'm going to start budgeting in YNAB for the same cost next year.

    I've planned my spend as best as I can for the month ahead however I suspect that this will have to be fluid. Although I'm not officially seeing this girl, we will spend a bit more time together to get to know each other and that naturally comes at a cost of some sort. I've been single 2 years and I forgot that in these early stages there has to be a bit of expenditure. Couple of drinks or the going to the movies or going out for dinner or even cooking a nice dinner in the flat.

    Anyway. Tonight I'll go for dinner with my immediate family which will be nice. Nothing much else planned aside from that. But what else could I want?!
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 26th Jul 18, 11:11 AM
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    efes shareholder
    Happy Birthday !
    • ChasingSunshine
    • By ChasingSunshine 26th Jul 18, 1:40 PM
    • 144 Posts
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    ChasingSunshine
    Happy birthday!
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 26th Jul 18, 1:47 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    Happy birthday, Specky. How is your lovely wee Gran?
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 26th Jul 18, 5:21 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Happy Birthday Speky - hope it's been a good one
    Pleased that all is going well with the new lady - has it really been 2 years? I can remember that at the time (how quickly time has flown over)Ö
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 27th Jul 18, 8:34 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    Happy birthday, Specky. How is your lovely wee Gran?
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    Thank you,

    My gran is doing well, thank you. Her eyesight is deteriorating, which is effecting her driving, reading, watching TV and well...life in general. Apart from that, she's really well. We've a great relationship and I've never been closer to her. I'm her only grandchild, so I've been spoiled all these years. I love her to bits.

    Happy Birthday Speky - hope it's been a good one
    Pleased that all is going well with the new lady - has it really been 2 years? I can remember that at the time (how quickly time has flown over)Ö
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    Thanks CCL. Yep, just shy of 2 I think. And you've been on the journey with me. I really do appreciate your continued support. How both our lives have changed in that time is crazy!!

    My birthday yesterday was lovely. My work colleagues chipped in and bought me a t-shirt, cookbook and my favourite doughnuts. I then had a Chinese with my immediate family which was really nice, as it always is. A thoroughly good day was had.

    But, back to reality now. The Girl From Work is coming to mine tomorrow. We're going to try a local restaurant/bar and I'm actually looking forward to it, which kind of surprises me given my hesitation previously. Anyway, I'm sure I'll fill you all in with the details on how it goes on Monday. But for now, have a lovely weekend and thanks again for the birthday messages
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 27th Jul 18, 10:37 AM
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    joeyjimbles
    Happy belated birthday. Sorry to miss the actual day but RL has been a bit busy of late.
    Glad the dating is going nicely, remember it's a relationship even at this stage and you both need to feel comfortable so take it all as slowly as you want. You're a nice chap so you'll be kind too, I know.
    Regarding your Gran's failing eyesight, have you thought about buying her a full sheet magnifier? They might prove more useful for her than a magnifying glass and can help her with reading a paper or a book with more ease. They really don't cost much - eBay has them for c£3, but the more substantial ones are only around £5. My Dad has one for the crossword and reading the tiny print on pills, instructions etc.
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 30th Jul 18, 8:43 AM
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    SpekySquarehead
    Happy belated birthday. Sorry to miss the actual day but RL has been a bit busy of late.
    Glad the dating is going nicely, remember it's a relationship even at this stage and you both need to feel comfortable so take it all as slowly as you want. You're a nice chap so you'll be kind too, I know.
    Regarding your Gran's failing eyesight, have you thought about buying her a full sheet magnifier? They might prove more useful for her than a magnifying glass and can help her with reading a paper or a book with more ease. They really don't cost much - eBay has them for c£3, but the more substantial ones are only around £5. My Dad has one for the crossword and reading the tiny print on pills, instructions etc.
    Originally posted by joeyjimbles
    Hey Joey

    Thanks for the b/day wishes. That sounds like a good idea re the full sheet magnifier. I'll look into that, thank you.


    Spends over the weekend were high;
    - £190 for a car service
    - £75 for a new passport
    - £40 for splitting dinner/drinks
    - £15 for groceries

    As you can see, a couple of these are one offs, and I've already started to save for the service again next year. The good news is that the majority of this spend was covered with birthday money.

    I had a nice weekend, spent mostly with The Girl From Work (TGFW). I collected her on Saturday afternoon and she had a few bags so asked me to come to the door to help her to the car with them. Low and behold her Mum is there, so the introductions were made. Can't tell if that was a deliberate ploy or not.

    Anyway, we get back to mine and she gives me my birthday presents, which included a very expensive bottle of aftershave and an overnight stay down in London. While I really appreciate the sentiment and the thought, I couldn't help but think it was a bit much so early. We went for dinner, had a few drinks and it was a really good night. Pencilled in to see her again on Saturday.

    Usual Monday for me; gym > work > football > bed.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
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