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    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 15th Mar 16, 9:12 AM
    • 1,979Posts
    • 16,037Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    It's not a lot, but it's enough
    • #1
    • 15th Mar 16, 9:12 AM
    It's not a lot, but it's enough 15th Mar 16 at 9:12 AM
    Good day to you all.

    Can I start by saying I feel a bit embarrassed about starting this diary. Not because of my debt, but because in comparison to other peoples situation I seem to be in a better position to clear it. However Iíve been considering starting a diary like this for a while as I feel itís really been getting me down, like thereís a huge black cloud following me everywhere I go. I feel I think about money Ė or more specifically my debt - all day, every day, and hopefully having a place to come and post of my attempts to reduce it will help keep my chin up and motivate me.

    A bit about me. Iím 25 and I live with my mum for now and I have a steady and comfortable paying job. I was in a relationship for 8 years and we had a joint savings account with a view to buy a place. When that relationship ended, I went off the rails. I blew my half of the savings while at the same time took out a credit card telling myself Iíll use it to increase my credit score by only using it to buy petrol and paying back at the end of every month. That didnít go to plan. I know have 2 credit cards (just recently paid off my third); Tesco Credit Card - £2,614.19 and Barclaycard - £693.88. Both of which are 0% interest for now.

    The thing is, I know that my debt is manageable. Iím not spiralling out of control with interest. I donít have a mortgage. I donít have any kids. My expenditure is relatively low. I can and I will do this!

    Although this is a Debt Free Diary, I have a view for this to become a Saving Diary once Iíve cleared these cards. I want to feel the way I felt 3 years ago with no debt and thus no worries. To be happy again.

    My plan to clear this debt was originally to still try and maintain an element of my lifestyle that got me into this mess while being sensible. At the end of each month, any remaining money in my account would be transferred to my credit cards, this is already on top of my direct debits to meet the minimum repayments. However I found that this technique gave me too long a leash and I wasnít being tight enough. This month I actually have a stag do in Amsterdam (paid for by said credit cards) and with no savings, I had to use money from this months wages for spending money, leaving me skint for the remainder of the month, but goes to show that I can stow away a large chunk at the start of the month and force me to make the sacrifices. So thatís the plan, so put away a sizeable amount at the start of each month, the day I get paid.

    Thank you for reading and appreciate the support.

    Peace and Love!
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
Page 44
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 10th Jul 18, 8:28 AM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 16,037 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    I've officially got the cold, from a (different) colleague, which meant no football last night and the gym this morning wasn't very productive. Tonight, should the weather allow, I'll do some gardening at my mums for a bit. Chilli for dinner.

    The girl from work phoned me last night with work related things. Once the work chat finished, the conversation went on to the dinner I was making and she wants to take me to a pizza place next week. Few things;

    1. She's keen (we already know this). Perhaps too keen.
    2. Isn't it the man's job to take the other person out?
    3. If the above is true, I can't afford it!!

    Anyway, I'm away for a coffee.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 10th Jul 18, 3:17 PM
    • 3,594 Posts
    • 30,820 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    If she wants to take you out and you want to go, then do it. It's not the man's job - everyone equal and all that. However, if you're not sure then I also think there's a lot to be said for trusting your gut instinct...
    Hope you're feeling better soon
    June Odessy NSD 6/10 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 10th Jul 18, 3:36 PM
    • 117 Posts
    • 114 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Is showing that you enjoyed spending time with someone and would like the oppurtunity to do it again considered needy ? Or is it just assertive ?

    Having said that , if you arent "feeling" it then it may be safer not to encourage a second date if you could make working together tricky
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 10th Jul 18, 3:59 PM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 16,037 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Is showing that you enjoyed spending time with someone and would like the oppurtunity to do it again considered needy ? Or is it just assertive ?

    Having said that , if you arent "feeling" it then it may be safer not to encourage a second date if you could make working together tricky
    Originally posted by efes shareholder
    A good point. I am low maintenance, which I know isn't to some peoples taste. The constant texting/calling makes me feel like I'm being controlled or not trusted. I enjoy me time, alone time, wither that's to do absolutely nothing or not, I value that time and I fear that this could soon disappear.

    I said I was looking to take things slowly, to which she said she understood. Next thing I know she's not happy that I couldn't commit to another date in a couple of days.

    That being said, I think that I'm perhaps overthinking and being hesitant due to being single for 2 years. I can't have my cake and eat it, something has to give. My heads all over the place and I genuinely don't know if I'm 'feeling' it or not.

    If she wants to take you out and you want to go, then do it. It's not the man's job - everyone equal and all that. However, if you're not sure then I also think there's a lot to be said for trusting your gut instinct...
    Hope you're feeling better soon
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    I know, I know, but there's something about it which doesn't sit right with me. As I said CCL, my gut is really unsure.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 10th Jul 18, 4:21 PM
    • 1,395 Posts
    • 13,276 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    She's keen (we already know this). Perhaps too keen.
    Isn't it the man's job to take the other person out?
    I'm a lot older than you and from a generation where it was considered the man should pay for nights out. (My partner does still pay when we go out but basically it's all coming form "our" money so that's OK). Basically though, I don't think that's the case now - equal jobs, equal money and all that!
    What worries me more is that you think she's a bit too keen and you're not really ready for the phone me/text me/tell me everything you're doing/where are you kind of relationship. I wouldn't be either. If you like her enough to go out with her again then I think that you have to make that clear from the outset and suggest that you split the bill (or something like that). However, I would trust your instincts. If you're really unsure then just say "no thank you". You might be surprised, though. She might think a friendly kind of relationship is what she wants. Who knows?
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 10th Jul 18, 9:38 PM
    • 3,594 Posts
    • 30,820 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I know, I know, but there's something about it which doesn't sit right with me. As I said CCL, my gut is really unsure.
    Originally posted by SpekySquarehead
    I hate to sound like the voice of doom, but go with your gut. You're a nice guy and if you're not sure I would stop it now before she gets very involved.
    June Odessy NSD 6/10 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 11th Jul 18, 8:35 AM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 16,037 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    I'm a lot older than you and from a generation where it was considered the man should pay for nights out. (My partner does still pay when we go out but basically it's all coming form "our" money so that's OK). Basically though, I don't think that's the case now - equal jobs, equal money and all that!
    What worries me more is that you think she's a bit too keen and you're not really ready for the phone me/text me/tell me everything you're doing/where are you kind of relationship. I wouldn't be either. If you like her enough to go out with her again then I think that you have to make that clear from the outset and suggest that you split the bill (or something like that). However, I would trust your instincts. If you're really unsure then just say "no thank you". You might be surprised, though. She might think a friendly kind of relationship is what she wants. Who knows?
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    Perhaps it's not the norm anymore but I do like being the traditional gentlemen which I think a lot of guys my age don't. The simple things.

    I think you're right in making it clear from the off. This situation has consumed a lot of my thinking of late and I've come a similair conclusion.

    I hate to sound like the voice of doom, but go with your gut. You're a nice guy and if you're not sure I would stop it now before she gets very involved.
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    The voice of doom

    I'm naturally a pessimist, so I know that voice very well. I've got some time to come to a concrete decision so I'll continue to chew it over.



    Thank you both for your advice. I really appreciate it.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 16th Jul 18, 8:33 AM
    • 1,979 Posts
    • 16,037 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    The weekend was a busy one, which included another stag do. Well it was actually the home leg of the Ibiza one, so all the elders were in attendance and they were really good fun. I probably spent more than I should have. I've not counted yet but I recon I spent circa £80 all in. I'll check my bank tomorrow once it catches up with all transactions.

    The wedding is next week and I've still to buy a gift. So I'll need to have a look over my budget again and see what I can afford.

    So, I was speaking to the girl who asked me out for pizza last night and we've agreed to go out on Thursday night, after work. We'll both stay late until most people have left then I'll drive us both over. She explained that she has vouchers to use so if all goes well, I'll tell her the next one is on me. Whilst I'm still unsure about the whole thing, I'm leaning towards giving it a shot.
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16
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