Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 4th Jan 16, 11:12 AM
    • 4,750Posts
    • 16,028Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Alway's believe that something wonderful is about to happen!
    • #1
    • 4th Jan 16, 11:12 AM
    Alway's believe that something wonderful is about to happen! 4th Jan 16 at 11:12 AM
    Happy New Year everyone!


    Well after over 6 months of being away I'm back and raring to go. So new diary time, 2015 was a carp year and I'm glad to see the back of it, so its a new year of looking forward and not dwelling on the past.


    Will update some more later.x.



Page 63
    • chanie
    • By chanie 14th Feb 18, 7:45 PM
    • 2,007 Posts
    • 10,411 Thanks
    chanie
    happy valentines day to you too Penny.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £444.13
    Live more - £1669.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 14th Feb 18, 8:35 PM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Evening.

    Easy tea of scrambled eggs on toast tonight. Dentist went well, none of us needed anything doing so just cost £20.60 for me.
    Bought tickets for the zoo online tonight £79 for the 4 of us but 10% cheaper than at the gate, have everything for picnic tomorrow and I have wrapped DD presents, just hope she likes them all.

    xx
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
    • chanie
    • By chanie 15th Feb 18, 9:14 PM
    • 2,007 Posts
    • 10,411 Thanks
    chanie
    That;s a relief about the dentist, isnt it.

    I hope DD enjoyed her birthday and you all had a nice time at the Zoo. What presents did you get DD?
    Last edited by chanie; 15-02-2018 at 9:17 PM.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £444.13
    Live more - £1669.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 15th Feb 18, 9:23 PM
    • 8,793 Posts
    • 51,394 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Hope you’ve had a wonderful day Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in 2018 26/60
    Best win so far - holiday to Florida
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 16th Feb 18, 1:15 PM
    • 1,534 Posts
    • 13,212 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    Hope you all had a brilliant day yesterday

    x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 9th Mar 18, 1:15 PM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    So sorry for not updating, work, illnesses and life seem to have taken there toll and I have just been exhausted and in bed by 9pm most nights.

    Everything is plodding along ok, not done much regarding making money as I've been so tired and have had a throat infection, so have just been doing enough to get through the day.
    Today is my normal day off work so I have mainly done washing as the bright orange thing is in the sky and it is a sweltering 10 degree's here, maybe spring has finally sprung.
    Had planned on going grocery shopping and was going to Mr S as he had sent me some £9 off £60 spend vouchers, good job I checked the date as they don't start until Sunday so we can make do until then. Toast for brekkie and used some left over mash to make cheese and potato pasties for lunch for myself and DH, very nice they were to. Made some chocolate crispie cakes and stuck some jelly beans on top that I found lurking in the back of the cupboard. Found sausages in the freezer, so have taken those out for tea to have with hash browns and grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, also found English muffins and crumpets in the freezer so there out for snacking on. Need to dig something out for tomorrow nights tea and lunch.

    Managed to list some items on ebay last night and this morning, a mixture of auctions and BINs, so hopefully some pennies will stat trickling in, plan to get some more on this weekend.

    This month should hopefully be a lowish spend month as we havn't any birthdays or major events planned, DH and DD are both working mother's day so instead of going out for tea I have requested a Chinese takeaway which will workout much cheaper.

    Apologies for my absence and for not posting on diaries. xx
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 9th Mar 18, 1:29 PM
    • 1,676 Posts
    • 10,044 Thanks
    redofromstart
    Good to see you posting
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 10th Mar 18, 6:29 PM
    • 6,164 Posts
    • 22,548 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Sorry to hear youve been unwell Pennywise, glad youve back on it now though xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £5419.83 - 08/04/18 - 76.61% paid off
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 10th Mar 18, 8:02 PM
    • 5,722 Posts
    • 37,418 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Sorry to hear you've been unwell but good you're posting again and back in the game
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • amber03
    • By amber03 12th Mar 18, 10:43 PM
    • 813 Posts
    • 4,947 Thanks
    amber03
    RL does get in the way at times. I occasionally "go missing" from here, then get annoyed with all the money I have wasted when I take my eye off the ball.x
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £451.00
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 18th Mar 18, 10:09 AM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Morning.

    Another bout of illness in the PWPS household, which has hit both myself and DD, we are both full of cold, sore throats and totally exhausted, I ended up off work for 2 days and literally just slept. I know I need to be kind to myself and give myself time to get better, but it feels as though everything is running away with itself and getting out of control.
    Things are not good with DH and I feel as though we are wanting different things out of life and going in different directions, I think having cancer has made me reassess things and I have realised I have spent 20yrs putting other people first, I have followed DH around the country because of his job, giving up jobs I loved to support him, I almost raised the children single handed for the first 5yrs as Dh work hours were crazy leaving the house at 5am and some nights not returning home until 8-9pm, I worked part time during this time and also did 1 day at college, I had to juggle childcare and no family to help. I actually don't know how I did it to be honest and to the outside I probably looked like wonderwoman running around keeping it all together, yet inside behind that closed door I was a broken,crying wreck that suffered with anxiety attacks. So now I see light in the distance and my wonderful amazing children are growing up, talking of their lives, exams and the future and I know they are so close to becoming adults and leaving to make their way in the world. So I think about what I want and what I need and my life, I want to feel the sun on my face everyday and potter in a garden with my dogs running around madly, I want to sit on a verandah with a glass of wine watching the sun set over the sea, I want to sit and read a book and not need to worry about whether someone else's sports kit has been washed or if tea has to be ready for a certain time. I want to be selfish and I want to think of me. Yet Dh has decided he doesn't want to buy somewhere abroad and his parents will need looking after when we get to retirement age, I feel angry about this as when I fell pregnant with DD his mum told me that she would look after her now and then but it wasn't to interfere with hers and fIL life. Yet i'm to give up my life to take care of them in the future, I know that I sound horrible and selfish but how is that fair.

    I'm sorry for the ramble i'm in a low place and need to get it out there.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 18th Mar 18, 10:21 AM
    • 1,534 Posts
    • 13,212 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    I totally agree with you Penny. I don't think it's selfish at all!

    x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 18th Mar 18, 2:39 PM
    • 8,793 Posts
    • 51,394 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Not selfish at all pwps. Have you reminded DH of that?

    Feel better soon Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in 2018 26/60
    Best win so far - holiday to Florida
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 18th Mar 18, 2:48 PM
    • 5,722 Posts
    • 37,418 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    You're not being selfish at all Penny. Why shouldn't you be able to do what you want, it's not fair you don't get a say in things. I totally know where you're coming from, I've also put other people first for far too long and it's time for a change. I would be tempted to say to DH you stop here and look after your parents, I'll go and live in the sun.

    Take care Penny xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • AlwaysHappy
    • By AlwaysHappy 18th Mar 18, 9:20 PM
    • 1,486 Posts
    • 11,718 Thanks
    AlwaysHappy
    I've been following your diary for a while but never posted before. I totally understand your feelings and to be honest.. I wouldn't play ball. Life is short - and you only get one chance to live it. You aren't being selfish - you are living life your way....
    I'm not a failure if I don't make it, I'm a success because I :tried!
    • chanie
    • By chanie 18th Mar 18, 9:30 PM
    • 2,007 Posts
    • 10,411 Thanks
    chanie
    I agree, I dont think you are being selfish, but then, neither is your OH. Maybe you are both over thinking your future plans. Don!!!8217;t get me wrong, it isimportant to have ideas about what you want, but I imagine you have 15+ years left to retirement and lots could change is that time.

    I also dont think it has to be one or the other (living in the UK or abroad) as there are lots of in-betweens. A relative and their spouse spend half the year in the UK and half in abroad. They have done it for a few years now, but will be settling in the UK over the next few years. I mention this because retirement can be 20+ years and whatever decision you make can always be changed.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £444.13
    Live more - £1669.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 19th Mar 18, 3:10 PM
    • 4,352 Posts
    • 24,675 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    t Dh has decided he doesn't want to buy somewhere abroad and his parents will need looking after when we get to retirement age, I feel angry about this as when I fell pregnant with DD his mum told me that she would look after her now and then but it wasn't to interfere with hers and fIL life. Yet i'm to give up my life to take care of them in the future, I know that I sound horrible and selfish but how is that fair.
    Originally posted by pennywisepoundstupid
    Sorry to read you are feeling low Penny. When you have been ill it does make you reassess life again.

    This might be controversial but why would your in laws not have paid carers or go in to a home if they need care?
    My MIL went in to a nursing home after she had a stroke, she was only 56 (I think) and many homes would not take her. The social worker at the hospital told my husband that if his mum didn't have boys and had girls they would have expected the family to care for her at home. Very sexist and I'm just glad they didn't suggest I give up my job.
    Admittedly MIL didn't have savings and so her care was funded by social services but surely older people have to consider care needs as part of growing old.

    My Step-FIL got increasingly more frail with his Parkinsons and we were happy to take him shopping at weekends and take him to medical appointments but he opted in for online grocery shopping and also had a cleaner who helped keep his flat clean. Then later on he had carers in a few times a day and which he had to contribute £50 per week.

    I know that some cultures look after their elderly relatives but that doesn't mean everyone should do it, why should your life be put on hold?

    I hope you can work things out and do what you want to do.

    Interestingly parsnip posted on her diary over the weekend about wants in life and life passing by - I have commented over there so wont repeat myself but suffice to say that I believe everyone should have dreams/goals/aspirations and if our current husband/partner doesn't fit that then that is fine.
    You don't want to get years down the line and regret anything.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 19th Mar 18, 6:36 PM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Not selfish at all pwps. Have you reminded DH of that?

    Feel better soon Xx
    Originally posted by please-let-me-be-lucky
    You're not being selfish at all Penny. Why shouldn't you be able to do what you want, it's not fair you don't get a say in things. I totally know where you're coming from, I've also put other people first for far too long and it's time for a change. I would be tempted to say to DH you stop here and look after your parents, I'll go and live in the sun.

    Take care Penny xx
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    I've been following your diary for a while but never posted before. I totally understand your feelings and to be honest.. I wouldn't play ball. Life is short - and you only get one chance to live it. You aren't being selfish - you are living life your way....
    Originally posted by AlwaysHappy
    Thankyou all for your kind words xx
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 19th Mar 18, 6:44 PM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    I agree, I dont think you are being selfish, but then, neither is your OH. Maybe you are both over thinking your future plans. Don!!!8217;t get me wrong, it isimportant to have ideas about what you want, but I imagine you have 15+ years left to retirement and lots could change is that time.

    I also dont think it has to be one or the other (living in the UK or abroad) as there are lots of in-betweens. A relative and their spouse spend half the year in the UK and half in abroad. They have done it for a few years now, but will be settling in the UK over the next few years. I mention this because retirement can be 20+ years and whatever decision you make can always be changed.
    Originally posted by chanie
    Thanks Chanie, yes a lot could change but having a home in the sun is something I have always wanted from being young, I struggle so much health wise when the weather is cold and my Dh always says i'm a different person once the weather warms up. I would be quite happy to spend half the year abroad and half here in the uk during the warmer seasons.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 19th Mar 18, 6:59 PM
    • 4,750 Posts
    • 16,028 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Sorry to read you are feeling low Penny. When you have been ill it does make you reassess life again.

    This might be controversial but why would your in laws not have paid carers or go in to a home if they need care?
    My MIL went in to a nursing home after she had a stroke, she was only 56 (I think) and many homes would not take her. The social worker at the hospital told my husband that if his mum didn't have boys and had girls they would have expected the family to care for her at home. Very sexist and I'm just glad they didn't suggest I give up my job.
    Admittedly MIL didn't have savings and so her care was funded by social services but surely older people have to consider care needs as part of growing old.

    My Step-FIL got increasingly more frail with his Parkinsons and we were happy to take him shopping at weekends and take him to medical appointments but he opted in for online grocery shopping and also had a cleaner who helped keep his flat clean. Then later on he had carers in a few times a day and which he had to contribute £50 per week.

    I know that some cultures look after their elderly relatives but that doesn't mean everyone should do it, why should your life be put on hold?

    I hope you can work things out and do what you want to do.

    Interestingly parsnip posted on her diary over the weekend about wants in life and life passing by - I have commented over there so wont repeat myself but suffice to say that I believe everyone should have dreams/goals/aspirations and if our current husband/partner doesn't fit that then that is fine.
    You don't want to get years down the line and regret anything.
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    In laws have frequently stated they are not going into a home, DH mentioned to them about downsizing in the future (they have a big house in the countryside, no public transport for 2 miles and a steep path and steps up to the house) there response was they wouldn't be downsizing ever and would only be leaving in a box, Dh tried to talk to them about how they would manage living there if they couldn't manage healthwise or something happened or couldn't drive anymore and they just refuse to talk about the fact that one day they will not be able to manage where they live. They are both very stubborn and selfish .DH is an only child and feels responsible for them even though they may have not been the most supportive parents he feels a sense of duty and I can understand that but he also needs to have his own life. Dh father can be quite a sulker, last time we moved house he sulked a didn't talk to DH for a few weeks and we only moved 15 miles away .

    I chatted with DH a bit last night about things, we have chatted about a holiday apartment where we can spend the colder months abroad and maybe rent it out during the summer season and make some money from it, but this is something we need to sit and look into properly, I have made it clear that this is my focus for the future and I will have a holiday home somewhere warm.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Debt free and saving for my future
    Long term savings £10,000 Holiday spends £1000/£349.02 Kitchen savings stage 1 £1500/£160.24
    Amazon vouchers
    £5
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

618Posts Today

5,724Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • It's the start of mini MSE's half term. In order to be the best daddy possible, Im stopping work and going off line? https://t.co/kwjvtd75YU

  • RT @shellsince1982: @MartinSLewis thanx to your email I have just saved myself £222 by taking a SIM only deal for £7.50 a month and keeping?

  • Today's Friday twitter poll: An important question, building on yesterday's important discussions: Which is the best bit of the pizza...

  • Follow Martin