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  • FIRST POST
    • AspiringButAnxious
    • By AspiringButAnxious 30th Jul 15, 1:30 PM
    • 676Posts
    • 2,774Thanks
    AspiringButAnxious
    Battling Debt and Mental Illness and (hopefully) Winning!
    • #1
    • 30th Jul 15, 1:30 PM
    Battling Debt and Mental Illness and (hopefully) Winning! 30th Jul 15 at 1:30 PM
    Hi everyone

    I've been lurking on the Debt-Free Wannabe forums for ages and thought it was high time I joined in. I'm also hoping that having my own diary will motivate me to keep going I've been reading some of the other diaries on here and feel inspired.

    About me: I'm 31, single, unemployed and living with my parents. Ain't life great? After many years of mental illness, I can finally see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. I have depression and borderline personality disorder as well, but my anxiety is my biggest obstacle at the moment.

    I got into debt partly to fulfil a lifelong dream and get a BA and an MA. I lived at home while I was studying, but travel expenses and book buying take their toll. As did my chocolate bar habit and learning to drive... I was also prone to compulsive spending (still am, but less so since I have more of a handle on my mental health issues) and made many ridiculous decisions.

    The upshot is that I ended up owing several thousand pounds to my parents, over 6,000 on my credit card and a 2000 overdraft. I gradually reduced my debt a little, then was helped by a 2000 inheritance when my grandmother died. However, I was also struggling to keep a car on the road and my beloved dog died a couple of weeks before my grandmother, which was a horrible shock and led to me buying a new dog to give me a reason to live. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true. My old dog kept me hanging on during the dark times and I couldn't face life not only without her, but without any pet of my own.

    Anyhoo, I was struggling to pay 60 a month interest on my credit card and make overpayments every month. I slipped into putting more unnecessary purchases on the credit card because I thought "what difference will it make?" I had a LBM at the end of June 2015 and realised I needed to do something drastic.

    Since I couldn't get a loan to pay off my credit card, let alone what I owed my parents, I hatched a plan for my parents to take out an unsecured loan for 13,000, covering the 7000 I owed them and my credit card balance. I did the maths and realised it would take me 5 years just to pay off my credit card, without paying a penny back to my parents, if I continued as I was. If my parents took out a loan on my behalf, I could clear the whole debt in 6 years. My parents agreed that taking out a loan was the sensible option especially as it would relieve them of being 7000 out of pocket. My credit card balance is Nil and, strangely, I'm not even tempted to spend on it.
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    • scubaangel
    • By scubaangel 13th Oct 18, 2:09 AM
    • 6,461 Posts
    • 10,417 Thanks
    scubaangel
    I'm not going to be around until after Sunday now so GOOD LUCK and enjoy yourself.
    Its not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you werent doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 13th Oct 18, 7:34 AM
    • 4,033 Posts
    • 34,493 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I think you really should print your post and use it to remind you when things aren't feeling good - it's well written and completely true.
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 14 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • AspiringButAnxious
    • By AspiringButAnxious 15th Oct 18, 3:48 PM
    • 676 Posts
    • 2,774 Thanks
    AspiringButAnxious
    Thanks, guys

    So... the half marathon. It was pouring down, which was a bit of a shock when we spent all summer trying to train around ridiculously hot days. Apatt from not being used to feeding cold and wet, we haven't had to negotiate puddles (including loads of very deep ones) or slippery leaves. Then, when I was wiping rain off my glasses before the start, the arm snapped off. My eyesight is terrible, so it left me effectively blind and I had to rely on my mum to guide me. She wasn't brilliant-- I nearly ran into a metal bollard!

    But we kept going and finished in 2:59:51, smashing our 3 hour target by... 9 seconds!

    I'm feeling pretty proud of myself (and very achy). I managed to tick off another goal for the year and reminded myself of how much I enjoy running. Before this year, I was mainly a treadmill runner with occasional outdoor runs, but this has been reversed. Though the treadmill may come into favour more often if the weather is cold and wet It didn't go as planned, but we ran the first 6.5 miles without walking, which was unexpected, and while I wish I was lighter by now, I'm glad I shifted nearly 5 stone before the race.

    My next body/fitness goals are strength-based: I turn 35 next May and would love to celebrate by doing 5 pullups (though 10 would be amazing), a handstand (preferably freestanding) and the splits (any which way, but would love to be able to do both legs forward and straddle). It would be so cool to be able to do all of that! I set the bar a little high with my last 2 birthdays (Machu Picchu and skydive), but these are, likewise, goals which I doubt my ability to achieve. Plus they cost nothing, so won't get in the way of my financial goals

    I'm giving myself a rest from diet and exercise, apart from dog walking (which was rather slow today), until tomorrow. Then I will get to work on ending this year in the best shape I can.
    Rainy day fund 210/1000 Emergency fund 1019/1500
    Loan 560/19,300 = 2.9% Fun fund: 1 Credit card balance 0
    • misstara
    • By misstara 15th Oct 18, 5:14 PM
    • 2,897 Posts
    • 20,462 Thanks
    misstara
    Well done on completing the half marathon especially half blind

    Loving your next body/fitness goals, I'm also 35 next May and you've inspired me to think about what I want to achieve by then
    Debt at LBM Jan 2014 10458.09 Now 0
    New flat debt Jan 2017 2302.75 Now 518.98 (77.5% paid)
    Car debt Nov 2017 797.68 Now 447.43 (43.9% paid) + monthly payments 146.82 10/60
    Emergency fund - 80/1000. Car fund - 350/1000.
    Mini Targets in Octoberr
    Exercise target - 5/16. Groceries target 165.97/200. NSD target 10/15.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Oct 18, 6:21 PM
    • 4,033 Posts
    • 34,493 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Congratulations! Hope you're enjoying a very well deserved rest today
    October Gobstopper #8 NSD = 14 1 debt vs 100 days 328.51/1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • scubaangel
    • By scubaangel 16th Oct 18, 2:16 AM
    • 6,461 Posts
    • 10,417 Thanks
    scubaangel
    Amazing job! Pity about your Mum not being a great guide runner. The weather was awful wasn't it, I got so cold waiting for the start in London, it was a wave start event so seemed to take eons to get started (was about 30 minutes from the first people crossing the start to my wave starting). Thankfully for me it dried up after the first mile or so, then drizzled on and off for about 6 miles before turning torrential again at about 10 miles (I just remember thinking why couldnt it wait another 30 mins so it would have given me a boost to get finished quicker!). Mine was a couple of minutes slower than last year but felt so much harder thanks to the weather - my last was in November so cold but it wasn't freezing and dry. Hardly moved today, far too tired as although I didn't drink much I was up later than I planned on Saturday at the Oktoberfest, plus getting out of the flat means stairs and frankly I refused to go down stairs until tomorrow!
    Its not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you werent doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
    • AspiringButAnxious
    • By AspiringButAnxious 16th Oct 18, 12:25 PM
    • 676 Posts
    • 2,774 Thanks
    AspiringButAnxious
    Thanks everyone I'm aching less today, thank goodness!

    Congratulations scuba -- especially after Oktoberfest the night before

    I'm not planning on running another half marathon any time soon, but would like to keep running and improve my speed over 1-7 miles. For now, I just want to run because I quite like being able to and it helps my mental health.

    "Accidentally" spent 80 on Amazon today and yesterday, though it's all connected to my fitness goals... My scales are on their last legs, so I ordered a new set. They claim to measure body fat, muscle mass and a bunch of other things, which would be handy to track (yes, I know they're not 100% accurate, but should give me a little more indication of my progress, especially as I focus more on strength/resistance exercise). Also getting resistance bands to help me do assisted pullups, push up bars to help me progress with various calisthentics exercises and a book to help me stay motivated. Do I strictly need any of it? Nope, but everything will help me towards my fitness goals.

    Completing the race has highlighted how important my health and fitness goals are to me. I'm glad I can do things which would have seemed impossible at my highest weight and the worst points of my mental illness, but I want to be able to do more. I want to feel really fit and strong. It helps me to feel mentally fitter and stronger.

    So maybe I'm making excuses, saying spending money on new clothes and stuff related to exercise is an investment, but I genuinely believe it. I'm also saving over 500 a year not having Pepsi Max every day and goodness knows how much on buying less junk food, so it counterbalances (if not outweighs) the extra expenses associated with getting slimmer and fitter.

    Perhaps it's not very mse to say so, but I will be happy to continue as I am, money-wise: repaying recent spending, putting a little back into savings (ideally getting back to pre-Arvon amount of 600 in rdf) and taking a little off the loan now and then. That will mean ending the year in a better financial situation than when it began, which is more than I have managed for years. Of course, financial goals will be a priority in 2019, when I won't be dropping so many dress sizes (I assume I will be a 10 at my goal weight and doubt I can/will want to be any smaller) and won't be spending anything on skydives or Arvon courses
    Rainy day fund 210/1000 Emergency fund 1019/1500
    Loan 560/19,300 = 2.9% Fun fund: 1 Credit card balance 0
    • AspiringButAnxious
    • By AspiringButAnxious 17th Oct 18, 11:20 AM
    • 676 Posts
    • 2,774 Thanks
    AspiringButAnxious
    Paid rent plus 71 of recent spending to my mum today. Still owe 220.50 from recent spending, because she didn't work out how much I owed her for over a month and my dog had new food, which we buy in bulk. 150 of that is the super big clothing spend in Tesco a few weeks ago, nearly a third of which was the anorak.

    My spending continued last night, when I realised only one of my current sports bras actually supports me while running or doing gym classes. I ordered two for 32 and hope they will be effective -- they're high impact, so should be fine. I was reluctant to bite the bullet anc get new sports bras, because I will probably (hopefully) need smaller ones after 3/4 months, but I realised it's ridiculous to scrimp on something which affects my exercise and comfort during workouts to such a high degree. Even replacing my size 18 t-shirts with size 14 made a huge difference, which I didn't expect, because they stay in place better during exercises and actually help me move better.

    I'm feeling a little flat this week. It might be partly physical exhaustion from the half marathon, but I think it's more mental: having achieved a goal which has been one of my priorities for so long is fulfilling, but I also tend to feel a bit "so what?" It's hard to explain, because I am proud of myself and I have plenty of other goals to turn my attention to, but there's a bit of a slump.
    Rainy day fund 210/1000 Emergency fund 1019/1500
    Loan 560/19,300 = 2.9% Fun fund: 1 Credit card balance 0
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 17th Oct 18, 5:43 PM
    • 3,430 Posts
    • 18,796 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Well done on the run and on the slow and steady weight loss. Your fitness is hard earned and to be commended. It's common to feel a bit deflated after achieving a goal.
    Emergency fund 700/1000
    If not now then when?
    • scubaangel
    • By scubaangel 19th Oct 18, 7:20 PM
    • 6,461 Posts
    • 10,417 Thanks
    scubaangel
    I've felt the same, like you say we've achieved a goal and are going to be physically and mentally more tired than we expected - I've had a tough week at work which hasn't helped and I've ended up being in a foul mood which I've had to work hard not to take out on my team!


    For now I think we need small targets and baby steps until we're fully recovered - I know its not quite the same since he races events but the OH says you need as many days recovery after a run as there were miles in the run!
    Its not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you werent doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
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