Thank you so much everyone! If ever I needed to read the 'it's ok' posts, today is that day! I am really struggling tonight - we went out for a drink with OHs brother and sister in law and then for something to eat and I couldn't pump while we were out so my boobs felt like they were going to explode when we got back to the car - tried to latch donut on as he was hungry but I was so swollen he couldn't get his mouth round! I sat in the back of the car crying silent tears while OH drove us home. Managed to keep donut calm on the way home and gave him a bottle of expressed milk I had in the fridge and he has slept ever since.
I think a big part of my meltdown is that OH goes back to work tomorrow and I am having palpitations about fitting everything in! He made a point of saying that he knows I will be doing the equivalent of a full time job with the baby and we will split the other chores between us of an evening or weekend, which I'm relieved about

I'll do whatever I can house wise during the day but I was worried that he would come home expecting dinner on the table and a spotless house, which is much easier said than done when donut feeds every 2-3 hours and then I have to pump, so between feeding, burping, getting to sleep and then pumping, by the time I finish, it's time to start again
OH sat down and had a chat with me about the breastfeeding issue yesterday too. He basically said he's proud of me no matter what and donut is a content baby who is gaining weight so whatever we decide to do, it is the best decision for my peace of mind, and in turn, donut who will benefit from a non stressed mummy. I'm going to have a think but I was ridiculously proud that we got through yesterday with only 1 formula bottle when usually he would have had every other feed as formula so I don't think I'm ready to completely give up on BF just yet.... I can only hope that if we get the tongue tie sorted, breastfeeding properly will become easier because honestly it is the pumping that is soul destroying rather than breastfeeding!
Wow that was a lot of boob related drivel there
Thanks
es, I feel like if he wants to sleep for 4.5/5 hours then he can, he would soon let me know if he was hungry! It's not every night, he was up every 3 hours night before last then last night slept for 5 solid hours
loopybecs did you have GD again in your next pregnancy? I'm nowhere near letting OH near me just yet, but I want to be fully informed when the time comes to try again (am I mad for thinking about this already?!

) and one of OHs concerns is the hyperemesis and GD will return and it will be even more difficult because we will also have donut to look after.
Mummybear, was having the tongue tie snipped awful? We have to decide what to do and everytime I think about it I end up in tears, I'm scared it will hurt him lots and then won't make any difference
Thank you
PB, you are so right about the pressure! I haven't had any from my family. just a few friends but it has been both ways. In fact 2 friends bottle fed and they keep telling me just to quit because formula os better anyway which I'm also finding annoying, it would be nice if some of my RL friends could just say what you have said rather than making me feel like I'm ridiculous either way I choose to go

I'm happy with topping him up with formula if I can't give him enough to keep him satisfied, I would just like to get him onto the breast properly for a variety of reasons (passive immunity being the main one), but financially I would rather give him what I can produce for free rather than pay out for expensive formula, and the calorie burning hasn't missed my notice

with being bridesmaid for my sister in a miniature dress in November, I need all the help I can get!!
Wish me luck for tomorrow. I know I'll survive but thriving would be preferable! xx

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