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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    560.00 Barclaycard
    2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total 25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 95
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 2nd Mar 18, 2:41 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    I've left a few messages for the diabetic team but not had any joy with them yet, so I've taken matters into my own hands and upped my medication back to the max dose which I was on until last week.

    I've started a formal complaint with BG but heard nothing back yet and because it's a separate complaint I can't go back to the ombundsman until 40 days have passed, which is annoying because I STILL can't move away from BG until it's sorted and dealt with and we are on the extortionate standard tariff.

    I'm trying to chill out today and bounce on the ball. I'm going to make a cleaning list over the weekend for us both to get on with and OHs beloved V8 supercars starts again tonight so no doubt we will be watching those over the weekend (I won't tell him, but I do actually quite enjoy it )

    Looking forward to my next appt on Tuesday so I can put my foot down and insist on something being done about my numbers! xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 4th Mar 18, 4:48 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    Happy Sunday everyone!

    It's been a bit of an eventful weekend - I didn't leave the house on Thursday or Friday due to snow but had to go to the hospital yesterday to be monitored as baby wasn't moving very much and I had a couple of symptoms of infection and some aching pressure at the top of my bump.
    Baby seems ok, they've booked an extra scan this week due to reduced movements and given me some antibiotics (ridiculously they can only be collected from the hospital pharmacy which is closed over the weekend so I'll have to head up there tomorrow, really helpful!! They also think the pain at the top of my bump is related to the ongoing vomiting causing bruising.
    Will see what they say on Tuesday but I'm not impressed - the baby still isn't moving like he did previously.

    Have watched lots of V8s this weekend, much to OHs delight, and spent a lot of time in the bath trying to ease the back pain which starts when I try and sit for too long. Still lots of baby related stuff to do - put up the next to me crib and set up the moses basket, along with bouncer and steriliser so I can get used to how it all works. I think I'm in denial about it only being 3 weeks away

    Not much going on debt wise. DD for NZ CC is due out tomorrow so I can update my snowball calc then xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 5th Mar 18, 10:34 AM
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    JoJoC
    Sorry you're having grief with the hospital and BG - what a pain that it's not all sorted out.

    Just wanted to comment re: baby movements. I can't urge you enough to keep going back to the hospital for monitoring if you're concerned about movements, even though you've seen them and you've got a scan booked in for tomorrow. There's never too many times to be seen and you're not an irritation. My husband's cousin is a midwife and she always says to me that they'd rather see a woman every day that was concerned about movement than for her to put it off a day and something go undetected.

    Sorry, not trying to put the fear into you or anything, but I know a lot of women would put it off because they've already been (me included probably) but if you think it isn't right, just get back up and check.
    CC1: 4481.14/ 5031.14 (12% paid off, 600) | CC2:3307/ 3807 (14.4% paid off, 550) | Loan: 10,528.20/ 15,792.30((33% paid off, 5,264))

    July debt total: 24,630.44 | New debt total: 18,316.34 | Total debt paid: 6,414.10 (26%)
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Mar 18, 11:31 AM
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    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Jojo, I had a call from the diabetic midwife this morning and discussed my concerns with her and she was angry at the problems I've been having. I've monitored his movements this morning and he is reactive, he's just not kicking like he used to but still wriggling so we think it's probably to do with the growth spurt he has had and not having the room to make big movements anymore.
    She's booked me in for monitoring this afternoon and I've got a reassurance scan tomorrow afternoon. She's also made a note to say that I will be seeing the consultants from both teams tomorrow rather than SHO/Registrars because we aren't happy with last weeks appointments.

    It's made me feel much better, because I know someone is listening

    NZ CC DD has come out this morning so I've updated my snowball I've done my sums so that it will be paid off in May, leaving 2 more payments to come out of the normal spending account before we pay it off out of the savings. It was a nice idea to pay it all off out of the normal joint account but it is stressing me out trying to make everything balance, especially with the British Gas issue and I just want to get everything squared away that we can.

    My parents have offered to lend us the money to pay off our sofa finance and the NZ CC so we won't have to make the payments on them while I'm on mat leave, keep the money in savings in case of any unforeseens, and will just pay them back when I go back to work. It would make the duration of my mat leave much easier on me mentally, knowing that I owe the same amount but won't be paying any interest or monthly payments for the time being and will have a decent amount of money in savings (the original good figures have significantly dwindled because of the couple of issues I had missed and the BG problem) but I'm worried that we are just moving debt around. We are going to sit down and talk about it later.

    Also stressing about naming the baby - people are obsessed with finding out what names we are going to pick, and we have no idea ourselves to it's getting frustrating. Everyone is sticking their oar in and I'm getting snappy about it - I don't want peoples opinions, I just want to be left alone to name the baby as we want to. Even if we chose a name now (which we don't want to, we want to see him first) we won't be telling anyone, it will be our secret until he arrives but people aren't very understanding...

    Bringing me on to the next point - I can't believe how many people assume they will be the first to know, or keep telling OH that he better call when I go into labour or to send a pic as soon as he's born - like we won't have better things on our minds than updating everybody Perhaps I just need a good nights sleep as I'm getting VERY irate about this stuff which wouldn't normally bother me half as much

    Sorry for the essay xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 5th Mar 18, 11:44 AM
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    JoJoC
    Glad you've got some monitoring booked in today as well as the scan tomorrow! Hope I wasn't being too pushy, it's just amazing how much false information flies about. Speaking of... it's apparently 100% incorrect that baby moves less at the end because of a lack of space. A common misconception but inaccurate! Glad you're getting some support on the diabetes front.

    People can be so annoying can't they? I hated talking about names that I liked (except to my mum and best front). It's really noone's business, neither is when you're in labour or when he arrives. Just do whatever you like and tell who you like whenever it's the right time. It's nice that people are excited but it can become so overbearing at times.

    I suffered from the constant text messages like "Any twinges", "Any sign of baby" messages and they drove me bonkers! I ended up being quite abrupt with people because I was so fed up with it. haha
    CC1: 4481.14/ 5031.14 (12% paid off, 600) | CC2:3307/ 3807 (14.4% paid off, 550) | Loan: 10,528.20/ 15,792.30((33% paid off, 5,264))

    July debt total: 24,630.44 | New debt total: 18,316.34 | Total debt paid: 6,414.10 (26%)
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Mar 18, 11:50 AM
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    kirtsypoos
    I don't blame you! I'm being quite curt with people now, who knows what I'll be like in 2 weeks

    I know the frequency of movements shouldn't change but the types can as the space reduces, tends to become less of the massive kicks and more shifts and wriggles which is what I struggle to feel because my placenta is at the front. The big kicks were what were making me feel reassured and now we are at wriggles I'm stressing daily!

    Fingers crossed tomorrows appointments can make me feel more at ease anyway. On Saturday they were trying to find his heartbeat with the sonicaid and my placenta was getting in the way - I was panicking but I didn't realise how much of an effect it was having on OH - once they'd located him and he was on the monitor, OH said to me that he is tired of the emotional rollercoaster everytime we go to the hospital and would just like him safely here now. I knew it was affecting me but hadn't given much thought to him, how selfish of me! xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 5th Mar 18, 1:06 PM
    • 6,609 Posts
    • 13,860 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Hope the monitoring this afternoon and scan tomorrow reassure you somewhat. The irritation you feel is probably partly to do with nerves and you feeling uncomfortable. I know my DD is the same plus she is very tired due to being too uncomfortable to sleep well and she is a month behind you.

    I don't blame you being annoyed at people pestering you re names and who will be first to know. Most important thing is you and baby are safe and people will need to wait. I strongly urge you to leave phones away from you while you in labour. DD tells us we will need to wait to find out name which is what they did with their first DD. We knew the middle name before though as they used Molly which was my MILs name who died just before my DD realising she was pregnant. My son in law almost let the cat out of the bag yesterday though cos when they are alone they use baby's name to talk to my DDs belly and they forgot we were there. I think my DGD may also let it slip as she only two and a half
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 5th Mar 18, 1:43 PM
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    abba1772
    Aww bless you but omg only three weeks to go when did that happen???

    As for the names / picture thing I learned my lesson with my eldest son I love his name it popped into my head one day whilst pregnant and that was that and whenever I told anyone they made a funny face.......my gran even got me a baby book of names to change my mind didnt work lol

    And we refused to send any pictures of Kk until all of our close friends and relatives got a chance to meet him first xx

    He's yours and ohs baby boy don't let anyone's pressure or annoy you...........you have oh for that
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 3572.57 NOW 983.26
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    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 5th Mar 18, 2:19 PM
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    sashybo
    Glad the diabetic midwife is being so supportive.

    Personally I think you're allowed to be a bit selfish, you're the one carrying the baby so you automatically have more on your plate & sometimes men seem to find it difficult to understand. My DH used to get annoyed with me at times for being tired or sore when I was quite far along, he just didn't get it when I was tiring sooner & couldn't do as much as I had previously and I was very lucky with a straightforward pregnancy.

    Just ignore the people pestering you for names or tell them a really ridiculous name (with a straight face) just to see their faces. I just said I didn't know what name we were going to choose, which was mostly true as we couldn't agree on any boys names for nearly the whole pregnancy but had a shortlist of girls names. I still didn't tell random people the girls names we liked though.

    My DH also learned his lesson in that he texted people once I was in hospital in labour and then he kept being pestered for updates. I was in active labour for about 16 hours & had been in early labour for a day & a half before that!! When he went quiet, some people started panicking, thinking that something bad had happened & the messages got more frantic. I think if we have a next time he will wait to send messages until the baby is born (except for our parents).

    We used to get people messaging us beforehand, helpfully reminding us to tell them when the baby was born. No we were just going to keep it a secret. I know people get excited about a new baby but why do they want to make it all about themselves.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - 10,617 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off 51,528
    Loan 2095.14, CC 0% BT 985, Car loans 22,206.11

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Mar 18, 2:21 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    I have no idea Abba, it's quite scary really!!

    My mom is coming over tomorrow to help me get the house sorted - I'm stressing that nothing is ready like I want it to be but I can't seem to get my ar5e in gear

    I'm pretty much putting my foot down and not telling anyone anything until we decide we are ready to share. My mom is going to be in the room, so she will obviously know he is born and my Dad will know where she is. I'm fine with telling my sister but that's it, I don't want anyone else knowing. They will find out when we are ready

    I already know OH will drive me round the bend but I hope it's because he's bothered about the baby rather than just getting under my feet
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Mar 18, 2:27 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    How frustrating Sashy,. that's why I don't want to tell anyone - OH isn't the best at keeping in touch with people anyway so it will be a nightmare if he tells anyone because he then won't reply to any messages so everyone will end up worried!

    My grandparents think we are going to tell them, and while I'd be fine with them knowing because they won't push, I don't want them sitting at home worrying so will probably tell mom to tell them I'm in labour once we get to pushing stage so they don't have time to stress but can set off (apparently my nan has been telling everyone as soon as she gets the call she's coming, even if she's at the hairdressers

    OH and I have agreed that they can come and visit on the first day as they will then go home again, and they are extremely important to me and not getting any younger. Some of the horrible pregnancy dreams have involved my grandparents not being around anymore so I want them to spend as much time with donut as possible xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 5th Mar 18, 2:32 PM
    • 1,462 Posts
    • 6,982 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    When I was pregnant we really struggled with names. Bring a teacher really doesn't help. We also didn't know whether he was going to be a boy or a girl until he arrived.
    One evening we went round to a friend's house and got out their baby name book, started with the traditional, biblical boy's names.
    First one: Abel. To which my reaction was 'but what if he's not?' End of conversation. And cue not naming baby boy until he was 4 day s old. At 5 days old we took him to church where he was presented to everyone in the church and his name announced. A bit dramatic, but a really special moment.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
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    • lauradora
    • By lauradora 5th Mar 18, 2:56 PM
    • 1,365 Posts
    • 4,661 Thanks
    lauradora
    Im with you on the naming front Kirtsy, if there one thing I wont miss about work thats it. I get sick of telling people I dont want to talk about it....but even so, in they chip with their opinions on !!!!! baby names!!

    Still in debt but happy
    DFW nerd no 844


    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Mar 18, 4:16 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    I can't imagine how difficult it must be as a teacher wishing, I already hate what feels like every name I hear!
    That actually sounds like a really lovely moment, one to remember

    Laura I feel your pain, I don't get why people think it's ok to ask constantly and give unasked for opinions!
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 5th Mar 18, 5:19 PM
    • 2,775 Posts
    • 20,585 Thanks
    sashybo
    Kirsty, get used to everyone giving you their (unwanted/unasked for) opinions on everything to do with the baby forevermore.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - 10,617 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off 51,528
    Loan 2095.14, CC 0% BT 985, Car loans 22,206.11

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • PositiveBalance
    • By PositiveBalance 6th Mar 18, 1:48 AM
    • 755 Posts
    • 3,791 Thanks
    PositiveBalance
    Hi Kirsty,

    You're so near!

    This may make you happy: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/energy/2018/03/energy-firms-to-be-banned-from-backbilling-beyond-12-months-
    Original debt to source: 11,640.02; debt repaid: 6201.01 (53%); remaining debt: 5439.01
    0% CC balance: 4999.67 now
    3326.64 (381.64 on existing card: 2945.00 BTed)
    Emergency Fund (#187): 0/500
    Terrimundi: fleeced!
    • monz
    • By monz 6th Mar 18, 8:51 AM
    • 3,225 Posts
    • 10,306 Thanks
    monz
    I was opposite I used to love the show Angel (vampire show) and just loved the name Connor and never ever changed always said that will be my boys name regardless.

    I take it as a sign since it was 10 years before my boy was born and had never liked a girls name and everyone knew if a boy was Connor no arguing about it xx
    Debt (1/9/14) 6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
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    ment)
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 7th Mar 18, 2:20 PM
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    • 14,977 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Kirsty, get used to everyone giving you their (unwanted/unasked for) opinions on everything to do with the baby forevermore.
    Originally posted by sashybo
    I can only imagine my responses if I'm short of sleep

    Thanks PB - They did actually credit 96 of back billing charges because of that which was an unexpected bonus! Still no nearer to working out what is wrong with the meter though, as no one will get back to my calls or query - they just tell me it's been logged as a complaint and someone will be in touch

    I was opposite I used to love the show Angel (vampire show) and just loved the name Connor and never ever changed always said that will be my boys name regardless.

    I take it as a sign since it was 10 years before my boy was born and had never liked a girls name and everyone knew if a boy was Connor no arguing about it xx
    Originally posted by monz
    I so wish I was like the monz - to be fair I had a favourite girls name that I've loved for years and years, but OH wasn't as keen so we had 3/4 on our girls list but I really liked all of them. I don't really like most on the boys list, I just don't hate them which is a bonus at the moment let's hope we see him and just know!

    Have been into the office this morning whilst the car was being valeted (valeting place is next door) yes super lazy and not very but I am not capable of getting into all the nooks and crannies in the car at the moment and they do inside and out for 15 so I'm happy with that spend.

    Have also run a few more errands - quick trip to co-op, post office and the bank and a mortgage OP made to get me closer to my pre-baby target. Slowly slowly catchy monkey. Really need to get back into PA though.

    Need to send my Nans mothers day card tomorrow or it will never get there in time and I completely forgot

    Now to get back to putting baby clothes away, it feels like a never ending task at the moment
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Mar 18, 2:27 PM
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    • 13,860 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I don't blame you for getting the car valeted. Bending over and stretching to get into nooks and crannies is not for an 8 month pregnant lady

    I have also spent the morning washing, ironing, folding and sorting out baby clothes from my DDs loft ready for new chest of drawers arriving over the weekend for her nursery for DGD2. DGD1 now in her brand new bedroom and loves it. So many clothes and one MSE advantage to having the same sex for second child. It is much easier for me to sort them out than DD who is still working and has a toddler to look after. So many tiny little scratch mittens, vests and babygros.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 7th Mar 18, 3:23 PM
    • 3,423 Posts
    • 14,977 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    It's so lovely to see and feel all the baby items though! I love folding the little socks, for some reason that brings home how little he will be, even if he's a big baby

    My sister is finding it easy knowing she is having DD2, going through all DD1s clothes and knowing she has very little that she needs to buy - much cheaper! Hopefully we are both set from now on because if we ever have a girl, sister will pass on her items and if they have a boy they can have donuts clothes so spends for future children should be minimal - well planned
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
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