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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 3,424Posts
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    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    560.00 Barclaycard
    2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total 25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 78
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 29th Aug 17, 2:55 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks all knowing that there are people who feel my pain with OH makes me feel better!

    I gave him the silent treatment when he came to bed last night and this morning he got up on his first alarm and came back with a cup of tea and my beloved rich tea fingers. Not that it helped really, today hasn't been the best day for sickness so far!

    Booking appointment was great though - I've officially got maternity notes I've had an awful lot of pain and a little bit of spotting, which is slightly worrying me but I know it's unlikely to be anything untoward (I've already been told to expect a lot of pains as the scar tissue inside stretches) but the lovely midwife has booked me into the EPAU tomorrow lunchtime and I'm going to the phlebotomist as well as all my veins went into hiding when she tried
    She also made me feel much better about how down I've been feeling - I've wanted and dreamed of this for so long that I can't quite believe it's happening and my anxiety has hit the roof. I'm also feeling guilty because some days I just sit and cry. I want to be one of those people who enjoy pregnancy and GLOW but I feel so rotten that I'm counting down the minutes to the second trimester rather than being able to enjoy this one. Then I feel ungrateful and she talked it all through with me and gave a road to recovery referral which is basically a self referral ticket for counselling and if I feel I need it, I don't have to contact anyone else to be referred.

    Called OH to let him know that the appointment went well and that I was at the hospital tomorrow and he is speaking to his boss to see if he can come with me. He also apologised for not being as supportive as he should at the moment. I have a feeling my messages to his mam may have earnt him a telling off

    I told mom a bit of what had happened between me and OH and how I was stressing because of the house and how our hoover is heavy one and I want to vacuum the stairs but am worried about the weight and she has messaged to say she is coming over with a shark rocket tomorrow and taking me to the hospital if OH can't get out and she's going to do some cleaning for me. I shall tell OH about this later and if he doesn't pull his finger out before she gets here I will go mad!

    Thanks for reading all my ramblings TMD - that must have been mind numbing at times!
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 29th Aug 17, 8:37 PM
    • 4,835 Posts
    • 16,897 Thanks
    abba1772
    I hope with you telling hubby about the spotting and pains you're experiencing really drives home that he needs to step up his game to help you out as there are two of you in that house making a mess not just you, you are working and growing a baby xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 3572.57 NOW 983.26
    POAMAYC 2011 6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 4782.14
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 1st Sep 17, 12:53 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    He has been a bit better - not 100% by any means but definitely better!

    I have taken to sleeping on the sofa for an hour or two when I get home from work. Without that, I can't function! Still being sick but it seems more centred around when I eat now rather than constant. I feel sick all day every day, but I'm only actually being sick after food which is an improvement.

    The NHS scan on Wednesday was a pretty awful experience, it was so rushed and horrible and the woman who did the scan wasn't remotely reassuring. She turned the screen away and didn't say a word for 3-4 minutes which panicked me, then when she turned the screen back around she had left it on a shot of one of the cysts on my ovary and I thought she was showing me an empty pregnancy sac. Needless to say I cried profusely and she just told me to go to the waiting room to see the Doctor.

    I have another private scan booked for tomorrow which I was going to cancel once I knew I had one on Wednesday but thankfully I hadn't, and I'm so pleased now. MSE it isn't but I desperately need the reassurance. Almost 10 weeks and close to the miscarriage risk dropping to an extremely low figure so I'm wishing my life away!
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • monz
    • By monz 1st Sep 17, 1:18 PM
    • 3,234 Posts
    • 10,509 Thanks
    monz
    omg thats terrible!!!!!! Report her!!! Hope you are ok <3 n lil bean xx
    Debt (1/9/14) 6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house pot for bobs after fees : 169.41
    car PCP - 628.97/11848.25 (0 overpayment) mum and dad 500/4,000
    boys bday 0/300 Christmas - 0/500
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 1st Sep 17, 1:36 PM
    • 4,835 Posts
    • 16,897 Thanks
    abba1772
    What an awful experience that's such a shame you were put through that........glad you've got another scan tho xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 3572.57 NOW 983.26
    POAMAYC 2011 6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 4782.14
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 3rd Sep 17, 3:28 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Yesterdays scan was amazing Baby measured perfectly for my dates and was wriggling around, it even looked like s/he gave us a little wave. Heartbeat is so strong. It was worth every penny.

    My mom came with us and then we had a little wander around some shops and lunch with my sister and niece. Niece is hilarious - she swaps kisses for a mouthful of whatever you might be eating, but if she likes it you get lots of kisses and none of your food

    Still struggling with keeping food down and OH has nipped out to do some food shopping as I'm struggling at work - constantly hungry but I only want little bits and pieces so dairylea dunkers, raisin brioches and maoam sweets are being tried this week - I'll keep trying until I find something which will stay down!

    I can't believe it's only a month until we are in NZ, I feel so unprepared. Travel insurance etc is all sorted and I've got a clarity card for spends which will be paid off out of savings when we get back. Our NZ savings are looking quite healthy but I'm hoping to come back with some to put into the baby pot. I won't tell OH that at the moment though
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd Sep 17, 4:40 PM
    • 3,609 Posts
    • 30,950 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    So pleased all is well with the baby, even if you're still really struggling. Good luck finding something that you can eat. I have everything crossed.
    June Odessy NSD 6/10 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 3rd Sep 17, 4:58 PM
    • 4,835 Posts
    • 16,897 Thanks
    abba1772
    Glad this scan was a better experience for you xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 3572.57 NOW 983.26
    POAMAYC 2011 6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 4782.14
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 3rd Sep 17, 9:05 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Salt and Vinegar French Fries and ribena are todays cravings. Still not staying down but taste so good while I've been eating them!

    Dreading work tomorrow. I have a bloody awful time trying to remain calm and collected whilst running to the toilet every 5 minutes and while everyone was sympathetic to start with, they are all less so now. It's not nice for them to hear (toilet is in the middle of the office and I'm not a quiet sick person, however hard I try ) but it's not exactly fun and joys for me either!

    At least I've got my latest scan pictures and a video of the baby moving to keep my spirits up!
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Sep 17, 10:44 PM
    • 6,701 Posts
    • 14,247 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Hopefully the morning sickness will stop at 12 weeks or thereabouts KP.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 4th Sep 17, 10:48 AM
    • 3,424 Posts
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    kirtsypoos
    Fingers crossed enthusiasticsaver, although people are more understanding when I mention Princess Kate has the same problem, especially now she's pregnant again. One of the lads has just come in and told me that it must be bad if a royal family member can't even continue with their duties and then gave me a bottle of ice cold water! That announcement came at a good time for me

    Bl**dy stressful morning at work so far, hence my 5 minute break to come on here, my brain is scrambled and I can't think straight until I have a couple of minutes away from it.
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 5th Sep 17, 12:16 AM
    • 764 Posts
    • 5,607 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Hi. Just want to say congratulations, I have been reading your diary but never posted.

    Just wanted to say that my gran always said ginger biscuits/ginger ale before getting up should help. I never liked ginger so didn't try it but if you do it's always worth a try.

    Hope your feeling better soon x
    LBM in April 17 - 7593/33554 (22.6%) paid.
    2018 PAID OFF TARGET 1969/5000 (39.8% paid)
    Mortgage@1 June 18 = 0/76350 Total debt=102311
    SPC #591
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Sep 17, 12:13 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks charlies tribe

    I'm a bit at the end of my tether with things to try now - I've tried ginger beer, ginger biscuits, chewing pieces of ginger, ginger pastilles, arrowroot biscuits, dry toast, ritz crackers, mints, vitamin B6, eating before I get out of bed, not eating for the first hour, not eating last thing at night etc etc.

    I think I'm resigned to this being my life until it decides to pass! I'm getting more and more used to it so although it's still not fun, I actually ventured out of the house after work last night. Only to TK Maxx to see if we could find OH some shoes as he has split the sole on his (they are over 2 years old and worn every day so it's allowable ) but I was happy to be out of the house for something other than work!

    OHs CC DD comes out tomorrow and I can't wait to update the figures and see if I can find a sneaky OP to get it under 500. It will feel like such an achievement! We are both focused on NZ and baby savings and Mortgage OPs rather than paying off a 0% card but still, I like to see it going down!
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 5th Sep 17, 8:36 PM
    • 5,213 Posts
    • 26,743 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I must say nothing helped my sickness. In the end I just ate/drank what I felt like and enjoyed it because either way it wasn't staying down long

    Lucozade and mints became my best friend though.

    Glad the private scan was better than the NHS one x
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 5th Sep 17, 8:59 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    That's my thinking HI! We had a curry last night which I'd been craving for 2 weeks - completely pointless as it didn't last but it was nice on the way down

    Have been on the phone to my Nan for an hour and a half tonight, she's getting a bit forgetful and had told me the same story 4 times but I love talking to her, she's one of my favourite people, even if we are super alike and butt heads quite a lot
    She's of the marriage before baby era and is quite put out by the fact we aren't married. She's fine most of the time but occasionally has a few digs....don't know why she's telling me though, it's OHs fault
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • monz
    • By monz 6th Sep 17, 9:41 AM
    • 3,234 Posts
    • 10,509 Thanks
    monz
    Haha oh I know the feels I was more mortified that they knew I had done a certain thing lmao!!!! haha Game of thrones feeling *shame* haha xx
    Debt (1/9/14) 6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house pot for bobs after fees : 169.41
    car PCP - 628.97/11848.25 (0 overpayment) mum and dad 500/4,000
    boys bday 0/300 Christmas - 0/500
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 6th Sep 17, 1:11 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Haha, when I was younger I would get very wound up by my Nan and am quite ashamed to say in the heat of an argument I told her to stop being so prim as I was already having sex with my then boyfriend anyway (I was 21 so not exactly a child but she made me feel so awful!)

    Sickness has been marginally better today - I've eaten an orange which seems to be staying down so that might be the next thing I eat constantly

    OHs DD for the CC came out today so almost at 500 mark how long will I resist that OP

    Bought OHs new shoes last night online with free delivery, cashback and student discount x
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 7th Sep 17, 11:52 AM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I actually felt human last night so OH and I went out for dinner went to Zizzi which does my favourite ever starter (and does minimum 25% student discount!). It wasn't the best meal ever, we had to send both mains back as mine was swimming in butter and was tasteless and OHs was stone cold. As his was an al forno dish which is supposed to come straight out of the oven he was not impressed! They replaced both dishes and took them off the bill which I didn't expect but I can't fault their response. It definitely won't put us off returning - they were so polite and helpful and went above and beyond in my opinions - I'd have been happy with a new dish!

    Turned out to be a much cheaper meal than anticipated, which is always a bonus

    I didn't feel 100% on the way home and was quite ill when we got back so perhaps I'm not quite ready for nights out or rich food just yet, and that has carried on into today so I'm not on top form

    Salt and vinegar crisps are the latest fad - I can't get enough! Especially walkers salt and vinegar squares and salt and vinegar french fries with ribena, must be ribena. The girls in the office think it's hilarious! x
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
    • Moneyfordreams
    • By Moneyfordreams 7th Sep 17, 3:12 PM
    • 1,021 Posts
    • 4,979 Thanks
    Moneyfordreams
    Congratulations on your pregnancy,
    It's nice to see you are starting to feel like eating and not chucking up too much..

    At least the Royal baby has given your colleagues a nudge in the right direction.. , Morning sickness must be awful, I didn't suffer with it..... Thankfully.... but I didn't take my daughter o her first day at school as I was in labour with the second..
    Mortgage restart June 2018 119950
    zero personal cc
    6x166 for sofas ending November 2018
    2500 on DD1s car cc
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 7th Sep 17, 4:11 PM
    • 3,424 Posts
    • 15,000 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Mfd

    Still doesn't feel real in all honesty. I'm so impatient! I want to have a bump and feel the baby but I'm a while off that yet.

    At least you had a very good reason for not being there in all fairness
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: 0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - 158.500.00 (2017/2018 O/P 3491.79) PAYDBX 17 - 18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 3850.92/4000
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