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  • FIRST POST
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK
    • #1
    • 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK 27th Aug 14 at 10:22 PM
    Bewildered, confused, terrified that will lose everything we have worked so hard to build up. Over 70 K unsecured debt and 28K owed to family. Have been self employed for 10 years but business gradually gone down hill in recession. partner went back t o work, on good salary 47K but not enough, plus some money still coming in from business/part time jobs. Have 3 years left of independent school fees (yes we could pull child out but it would destroy him - please don't judge), older child about to go to university and we won't be able to provide much support. Talked to debt charity earlier this year and wrote to some creditors but not all - kept thinking things would improve but they haven't yet, so now need to do the rest - wish I had listened and acted fully 6 months ago. Better late than never I guess. Desperately looking for a job but too stressed to produce good applications. Sleep deprivation and now relationship problems. Have a decent house but don't want to downsize as have elderly parents with health issues who will need our support and probably move in with us. Health beginning to suffer. Don't know how we got ourselves into this state - well educated, professionals, feel totally ashamed, so keep up the pretences with everyone that everything is hunky dory. So sad and depressed.
Page 101
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 3rd Mar 18, 8:28 AM
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    Cumbria lass
    Hope you are ok, and warm in this cold weather .
    CC1 3475 May 2018
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 8th Mar 18, 10:28 PM
    • 7,275 Posts
    • 35,701 Thanks
    brizzledfw
    Hope alls OK with you NOA xx
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%]
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 25/500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 11th Mar 18, 3:54 PM
    • 7,275 Posts
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    brizzledfw
    Hello NOA..hope everything is going swimmingly and you are just too busy to post

    x
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%]
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 25/500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 11th Mar 18, 6:23 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Hi everyone I'm back
    Thanks for popping by and posting Brizzle, Cherry, Redo, ToPM, Cumbria, jvr
    All OK
    Hectic lead up to trip away, exhausted before we left, away for 11 days inc travel. Survived the relatives, bit my tongue a lot. Made mum very happy. She saw a lot of people, some she hadn't seen for many years, and that's what it was about really and why I did the trip. Got back lat on Thursday night, did nothing on Friday, took mum back home on Saturday and spent all of today washing and catching up with work emails. Out at part time job for 3 days so unlikely to catch up on diaries until towards end of week. DS DD DH got used to being without me, feel like a spare part now lots of stuff going on in background but ignoring it for the moment, feeling positive, the change (even though not a 'break' in any real sense) probably did some good

    SE a work a little on the dry side, pipeline drying up - need some more projects coming through soonish. lots of finance stuff to catch up on etc- 3 weeks of -as a few extra expenses for trip.
    Hope all is well with everyone, will catch up as and when -

    NOA xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Mar 18, 6:30 PM
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    Cumbria lass
    Good to see you back , glad your mum enjoyed the trip
    CC1 3475 May 2018
    • jvr
    • By jvr 12th Mar 18, 7:35 AM
    • 420 Posts
    • 1,304 Thanks
    jvr
    Glad the trip went well and you do sound very positive... if DH, DS and DD have got used to you not being there doing everything make the most of it!!
    Debt: 10,006 now 8698.38
    Emergency Fund: 456.17/ 1000


    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 15th Mar 18, 10:06 PM
    • 1,735 Posts
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    NoOneAround
    Thanks Cumbria and jvr

    The week has flown by, 3 days out at work and exhausted in the evenings so going to bed early. Was at home today catching up.

    Achievements
    1) Many loads of washing done over the week.
    2) Unpacked (but not all put away)
    3) Emails trawled through/deleted or replied to as necessary
    4) Essential school responses/payments made
    5) SE work invoices paid/filed/payments set up for when due
    6) New voluntary work admin done - extra responsibility but am proud of get things going.
    7) Joined a few local fb groups, intention of selling a few items at a time (long standing never achieved goal!)
    8) prescriptions ordered online for next week
    9) discussed in 1hr call helping out sibling in their new venture - some research to do.
    10) Busy time coming up next term in school part time job, updated diary and checked all commitments/dates so feel a bit more on top of things.

    Off to bed now, have lots of chores to do tomorrow
    1) banking + fill in form for electronic payments in future
    2) dropping of flyers at various places for charity group
    3) rearrange eye appt as optician has cancelled
    4) possible coffee with garden centre friend if she replies.
    and so on

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 17th Mar 18, 8:42 PM
    • 1,682 Posts
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    redofromstart
    I'm tired just reading that. Did you get your coffee at the garden centre? I used to really enjoy doing that but stopped when the famine hit, I should re-instate it actually.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 18th Mar 18, 6:27 PM
    • 1,800 Posts
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    Cumbria lass
    Hope you have had a good weekend NOA . Maybe even the garden centre coffee.
    CC1 3475 May 2018
    • Igamogam
    • By Igamogam 18th Mar 18, 7:05 PM
    • 5,541 Posts
    • 45,376 Thanks
    Igamogam
    Crikey NOA - busy as ever!
    Be the change you want to see -with apologies to Gandhi
    In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death. ~Sam Llewelyn
    'On the internet no one knows you are a cat'
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 19th Mar 18, 9:21 AM
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    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    I'm tired just reading that. Did you get your coffee at the garden centre? I used to really enjoy doing that but stopped when the famine hit, I should re-instate it actually.
    Originally posted by redofromstart
    Morning Redo
    I had given it all up as well but with encouragement from here to fit in nice things have made it into a regular - more or less every two weeks with this one friend, she's the sort that you don't have to make an effort with, just genuine friendship and no demands. Some people are amazing like that.

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 19th Mar 18, 9:27 AM
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    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Hope you have had a good weekend NOA . Maybe even the garden centre coffee.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thank yo Cumbria, yes to coffee which was lovely, and a weekend at home which was also lovely.
    Lots more washing. Grocery shopping. and local HomeBays has become a different warehouse so popped in to have a look , bought bag of multipurpose compost and two large terracotta pots - good intentions of planting up flowers/bulbs, but it was too cold this weekend (more snow and icy wind).

    Have a list a mile long for today. One being banking a load of 1p and 2p pieces plus some old pound coins which I have found - they keep appearing in pockets and bags - I have about 12 in change to bank So I won't need to do my wight lifting today

    Hope you had a good weekend too
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 19th Mar 18, 9:29 AM
    • 1,735 Posts
    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Crikey NOA - busy as ever!
    Originally posted by Igamogam
    No rest for the wicked Igamogam, though I wish I had the chance.... (to be wicked)

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 20th Mar 18, 9:12 PM
    • 1,735 Posts
    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Flying visit.....
    Back to fulltime part time job tomorrow until after Easter.
    Seems strange writing Easter - I still have s few neglected Xmas decorations to put away
    Been keeping on top of paperwork.
    New voluntary work is mopping up much of my spare time that should be spent doing other things but I enjoy it more

    Have started making lists. they are long.
    Head is in a muddle and am getting really forgetful - no longer funny. Head and neck pain has gradually got worse but hit a tipping point this weekend so went back to gp today. More meds, have tried all the natural ways to cope, not worked. Totally forgot my pin for debit card yesterday - same one I've used for 3 + years, just went totally blank. Scary. Good thing is the med is sedative, so hopefully I might get a few more hours sleep? Kill two birds with one snore.

    Nite nite
    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 21st Mar 18, 4:09 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Finished work a bit early today - nothing left to do - all set for a early start tomorrow

    Just updated elec meter reading last night- hadn't done that since re fixing tariff a few weeks before Christmass last year (but I been doing mum's regularly!). Was expecting increase in monthly DD as now have 2nd fridge freezer and dishwasher - but not a doubling to over 100? I know DD is also living at home and working at home more, and I guess price has increased, but I will need to keep an eye on it and follow people around switching off lights!

    Slept for 7 hours last night!!!!! but i Obviously didn't look any better for it - was asked if I felt OK and that I didn't look well - rude.
    Just have enough time to make chicken pie before picking up DS who was away overnight for a rugby tournament.
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 21st Mar 18, 9:40 PM
    • 1,800 Posts
    • 10,840 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Always the way when you sleep well ,people say the opposite of how you feel.

    Yikes to the electric .
    CC1 3475 May 2018
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 21st Mar 18, 10:04 PM
    • 1,706 Posts
    • 9,205 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Eek, that's an alarming bill! Can the thermostat on heating and water go down a degree? It's often heat that's the most expensive.

    Regarding the memory lapses, I'd be looking at the long term stresses you've been under. Once that sort of pressure decreased in my life, my brain improved. Seriously. I think brains just get overloaded and decide to tip out stuff they can't carry at the moment. Another to chat to your GP about? Long term stress affects us physically in a way short term doesn't.
    MFW #30 Paid off 1,622.77/3770 as of 4/5/18
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 22nd Mar 18, 8:41 PM
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    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Hello Cumbria, Cherry
    Will need to monitor the electricity for a few days, I know that DD and DS are not good with switching off their gadgets /overcharging.
    Our heating bill fr oil has been horrendous this year - especially in December because every one came to stay, I guess it all mounts up. I'll be nagging everyone about everything next few weeks! Heating is only on in rooms we use. and its usually only at 18-19 deg.

    Totally agree Cherry, Did see GP this week hence the meds to get neck pain sorted, gp said most likely it is just fatigue..... still maintain that the best cure it all remedy would be expenses paid extended break in the bahamas or similar
    Off to bed soon, need to get clothes ready for he morning as at work. feeling quite groggy in mornings. Am falling behind with things as not staying up to catch up.
    Hope everyone is aving a good week
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 25th Mar 18, 9:47 PM
    • 1,735 Posts
    • 8,426 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Hello
    Trying to keep in the habit of posting so a quick update.
    Weekend at home again which was nice (another sibling was visiting mum). Got lots done, so feeling more in control
    At work thurs/Fri
    Saturday am - voluntary work
    Saturday pm grocery shop, washing and some paperwork
    Saturday evening, taxi service for DS, then evening on sofa snoozing through rather than watching a movie.
    Sunday...
    2 loads washed and dried outside
    Emails - caught up for SE work
    Cooked big batch of mince for bolognaise and lasagne
    Cooked big batch veg curry, other veg prepped and frozen
    All ready for various meals up until Thursday at least
    3 hours in garden (DH had trimmed all hedges during the day then DS cleared up and I burnt it all on a big bonfire - it was a lovely late afternoon and early evening. Felt so good to be outside.
    DH also taken a few days outstanding leave to sort out problem area on drive which will tidy up the front. He had to take hol or lose it even though its a really busy time at his work. so am hoping that a few big things get sorted going into the long easter break -

    Also got a letter from bank that hadn't defaulted an account - they have looked into it and acknowledged that they could have done it in 2015 - and said they will back date success - that means we are 2.5- 3 years into our defaults on all creditor accounts.

    need to get sorted for work tomorrw
    Good night and hope you all have a happy week ahead
    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt 72,520>>01/06/16 68166>01/02/17 66,600=8.18%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=200,300 Jan17180,700>OCT17 170,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 51
    • brizzlegirl
    • By brizzlegirl 30th Mar 18, 9:14 AM
    • 213 Posts
    • 1,291 Thanks
    brizzlegirl
    Hi NOA..just catching up. Still ploughing through sorting diary subscriptions...so glad you had a good trip with you Mum. Very special. So sorry you have been feeling bad and in pain but if the Spring ever comes I know you will feel better for being outside.

    Take it easy this weekend and go for 8 hours sleep this eve!!
    MFW..aiming to pay it off in 2022.. 2018 Savings Rate - Goal 25% [25.2% March 13% April ] Income Goal 56/750 May Goals: AFDs xx/15; Declutter 60 items xx/60; LSDs xx/10; NSDs xx/10 Exercise xx/30 Aiming to be a true Frugalista!
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