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  • FIRST POST
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 21st Apr 14, 12:12 AM
    • 5,908Posts
    • 13,599Thanks
    mellymoo74
    talk me down please
    • #1
    • 21st Apr 14, 12:12 AM
    talk me down please 21st Apr 14 at 12:12 AM
    Ok 10 years ago me and OH took MIL and Aunty away the plan was during this break we would invite em to the wedding.
    Before we could they stormed off and refused to answer any of my OHs calls.
    OH tried to get them to talk didn't happen and the wedding went ahead.
    Eventually OH and MIL are reconciled 2 years on another argument is provoked eventually reconciled then a big bust up about her not being at our wedding then reconciled rinse and repeat.
    MIL has been diagnosed with terminal cancer we have been ensuring she has company food etc (regular visits) I went to her appointment with her last Fri then last Sat OH goes around to see her and the wedding row was provoked again she went in for an op Mon telling OHs sister the auntie nephews etc to not tell my OH she was in or the ward or when the op was.
    OH is upset so I get the hospital info so at least we can find out how she is.
    We went to see her at the hospital on Fri aft and discovered shed been discharged in the morning.
    Still not called OH no contact nothing.
    I am livid my OH has been beside themselves and deeply upset (which is the intention) she can't even allow people to say she is ok.
    So how do I keep my OH on a nice even keel and stop myself from telling her off?
Page 175
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 6th Nov 18, 11:20 AM
    • 837 Posts
    • 2,023 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    They would need to be locked up apparently
    No access to garden so that's kyboshed until we can move
    Ever felt like you were banging your head against a wall?
    Originally posted by mellymoo74
    OMG, didnt even cross my mind that would be a thing!
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 6th Nov 18, 11:29 AM
    • 5,908 Posts
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    mellymoo74
    OMG, didnt even cross my mind that would be a thing!
    Originally posted by AylesburyDuck
    Me either
    So not only would I have to get OH to agree but pets would need to be locked up which is not very fair and can you imagine the mess I would have to sort out.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 6th Nov 18, 12:21 PM
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    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Ffs

    Ask for deadlock letter as housing don't see it as a failure

    NOW it's raised as a complaint
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 6th Nov 18, 5:01 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74


    Figured out why Ty is threatening him.
    Guess who's bullying Pickles.....
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 7th Nov 18, 5:09 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Been pathetic
    The news was that I had a meeting about a job
    I have been putting off calling them as I got stupid.

    Instead of remembering that I am currently living shifts, I panicked at the idea of working them.
    Instead of thinking about the lack of commute means a 45 hour week is doable, I worried about coping

    Stupid stupid me
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 7th Nov 18, 10:10 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
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    mellymoo74
    Fed up!!!!
    • elsien
    • By elsien 7th Nov 18, 10:23 PM
    • 17,558 Posts
    • 44,392 Thanks
    elsien
    You're not pathetic or stupid.
    It's perfectly reasonable to wonder about how you'd cope when you're already in a situation where lots of people wouldn't. FWIW, I wouldn't want a 45 hour week and I don't have any of the difficulties that you're managing at the moment. Cut yourself some slack, woman!

    Ref the carer assessment thing, can pets be in the other room with OH, or in a crate in the same room as you.
    If this is a care act assessment there should also be options for telephone or online assessment. Personally I wouldn't recommend it because seeing the situation in person can have far more impact on the assessor but if it's remote or nothing then remote is something. You should also qualify for an advocate to help batter some sense into the local authority although they're not always great at offering it. And an advocate can help you challenge if they offer less than you need.

    Do something nice for yourself tonight. I can guarantee you've earned it.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • surveyqueenuk
    • By surveyqueenuk 8th Nov 18, 12:23 AM
    • 579 Posts
    • 2,099 Thanks
    surveyqueenuk
    But Melly, I'm not sure a 45 hour week would be doable. It wouldn't matter if your new workplace was three streets down from you, you'd still be out of the house for all that time and you'd still have to do everything you're already doing once you got back. And you're not a well woman yourself are you?

    Your health and your needs matter
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 8th Nov 18, 5:24 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Well it's been offered now need to figure out what to do.

    I don't k ow whether a lot of my issues will recede if I'm back using my brain.
    Also very concerned about money as we all know PIP will go again and we will be back to starving.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 8th Nov 18, 9:50 PM
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    mellymoo74
    It's both the assessment and people coming in to care whilst I'm out.
    Having a call at 8 to find out full offer.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 9th Nov 18, 2:43 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74


    Driving me mad in his quest for ladies
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 10th Nov 18, 9:54 AM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Start Monday
    Had offer letter etc
    Let's see how it goes
    Xx
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Nov 18, 12:41 PM
    • 17,558 Posts
    • 44,392 Thanks
    elsien
    Well done melly on getting the job offer.
    Whether it turns out to be the right thing for you or not, I hope it's given you back some of the confidence that having knock backs tends to affect.
    I know when I was job hunting even if the job wasn't what I wanted I still went into "what's wrong with me" mode when they said no.

    That's a very quick start though/ Does it give you enough time to start to put things in place?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 11th Nov 18, 12:51 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
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    mellymoo74
    Family owned business who are aware of the situation
    And less than 1/2 mile away.
    As OH is nocturnal they asked if I wanted to do 4pm-12am that's a good shift for fitting in with his sleeping pattern.
    Will do his smoothie so he has that for whilst I am out.
    Walk dogs just before I leave.
    Gotta try I think even if someone has started acting up

    ETA - is good for me to start quickly means I can't talk myself out of it
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Nov 18, 6:28 PM
    • 17,558 Posts
    • 44,392 Thanks
    elsien
    Wishing you well, melly.
    Just look after yourself whichever way turns out to be best for you.
    Is it another H&S job or something different?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 11th Nov 18, 6:55 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    H&S but a different bit so dealing with Cdm which I know nothing about.

    Hospital during the day and work later.
    Do you want a partially used Jack Russell? Boo is driving me insane lol
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Nov 18, 6:56 PM
    • 17,558 Posts
    • 44,392 Thanks
    elsien
    Swap you for a Gitdog whose taken to woofing at the coal scuttle at regular intervals?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 12th Nov 18, 10:32 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Sooooo
    OH flapped all night about hospital today.
    I get 4 hours sleep
    We go
    To be told that as his ITU stay would have been about 3 million, the cyst is cosmetic.
    Great, let's get someone with a compromised immune system to come into hospital whilst your snotty. Oh and the fact that oddly he's now frightened of hospital just makes it better.

    Then met one of bosses
    Got uniforn
    Been at work since 4, will get out about 1
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 13th Nov 18, 10:54 AM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    I'm very tired
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 14th Nov 18, 11:00 PM
    • 5,908 Posts
    • 13,599 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Day 3
    I am taking each day as it comes as I really don't know if I can do this

    Not wanting to go to work, fine when I am here though.
    Will be disappointed in myself if I fail.
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