Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 7th Feb 14, 11:08 AM
    • 8,000Posts
    • 35,745Thanks
    tea lover
    The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)
    • #1
    • 7th Feb 14, 11:08 AM
    The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+) 7th Feb 14 at 11:08 AM
    Welcome to the long term TTC thread! This is for people who have been TTC for a while, or know they are going to not have a straightforward experience of TTC. There is a huge range of reasons why people post here, and most of them have put a summary below so you can get your bearings.

    Everyone is welcome, and please don't be intimidated by the banter. The ladies here understand the long term heartache of this process, and also can give lots of advice and experience. It's also a great place to rant when one more facebook friend starts to complain about how wonderfully fertile she is!

    The normal TTC thread is here: and the ladies there are lovely too.

    The first post there also gives some of the acronyms, but please don't hesitate to ask anyone here if there are some you don't understand.

    Team TTC info
    • Angeltreats TTC#1 since 08/12, NTNP for at least a year before that. 33 OH 33. Investigation so far: Scan & 21 day bloods for me, all ok. OH has low sperm count & low motility. Next step: First FS appointment 28 November & DH urology appointment 29 November
    • Babywanted TTC for 10 years, all tests clear on both me and hubby, unexplained infertility, miscarried twins April 2012
    • bigmomma051204 TTC#2 since 01/12. PCOS. One ovary due to childhood issue. Overweight, but regular 28 day cycle.
    • Chickpea. 40 TTC#2 since 09/09. Mmc Aug 2013 and m/c Dec 2013. Treatment: run out of options, hoping for a miracle.
    • codemonkey TTC#1 since Oct 2010. 34, DH 32. Investigations so far: Transvaginal ultrasound and HSG all normal, SA showed azoospermia with no vas deferens. MESA/TESA impossible. TESE ruled out due to high risk. Next step: lick our wounds and consider sperm donation/adoption routes.
    • cwtw Ttc #1 since Jan 12, me 31 OH 32. Me: PCO normal weight and symptomless except bleeding too often; some anovulatory cycles. OH normal everything. Next Step: On inositol, first fs appt Sept 13 eek.
    • Danielley TTC#1 since July 2012. Me - almost 35, OH - 34, currently under a consultant at Liverpool Womens, had initial tests (D3 & D21 bloods, external ultrasound, HSG, SA) All fine other apart from borderline abnormal creatinine level in blood so repeating test. Been prescibed 3months Clomid - 1st Cycle Oct 13. Next step: Appt with FS 18/12/13
    • Elsie37 TTC#1 since 02/12. 31. Next step: FS appointment 29 July
    • emmaj30 37. DH 43. Just gone on IVF list. Laproscopy fine and no blockage in tubes. No endo and diagnosed with Unexplained fertility. Hope to start treatment in next 2-4 months (updated Feb14)
    • Fairy Dust TTC#1 since 2006 (well NTNP for the first year). DH 38 Me 38. Unexplained infertility. All tests normal (strange how you hope that they find something wrong that they can "fix"). Failed IVF 1st cycle August 2013. Next Step Booked in for 2nd cycle Feb 2014.
    • Floaty (34) DH 38. TTC#1 since 01/2009. Unexplained IF. Had all FS tests (day 3 bloods, ov+7d bloods, internal ultrasounds, HSG, several SAs and a Lap&Dye - all look normal). Next step: FS appointment 11th March, hopefully for IVF referral.

      FrozenPenguin TTC#1 since Dec 2011. Me 31, DH 35, Me: mild PCOS,irregular cycles and irregular ovulation. Had Day 3/Day 21 tests, Ultrasound,HSG, 7 rounds of Clomid. DH: low SA in all 3 areas (count, morphology and motility)and a varicocele. Next step: Provera, Suprecur and Gonal-F to start January, ICSI planned for mid February
    • goodvibes TTC#1 since 04/12. 36 OH 38. Investigation so far. Me no problems OH low sperm count. Next step: ICSI treatment to start end of feb 14
    • isla_red TTC#1 since 05/11, 32 OH 33. I have a history of painful ovarian cysts but all scans internal and external clear and 21 day bloods okay for me. Discovered OH has a low sperm count in 2012 so removed from IUI list and transferred to ICSI list. Next step Currently awaiting reaching top of NHS ICSI waiting list, first appointment predicted circa Jan 2014
    • lisawood78 TTC # 1 since 2003, I'm 35 hubby 38. Hubby no issues. No fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies caused by severe adhesions. 9 Failed IVF/ICSI/FET cycles. Next Step: Surrogacy consultation on October 4th
    • Littleme82: Me 32; DP 45. TTC since 09.2012. Blood tests show low progesterone; DP SA not great; prescribed clomid currently on 8th cycle; scans last year all ok; HSG looks fine; seeing FS to discuss next steps on 04.03.14.
      loveactually me 33, DH 43, officials started TTC from May 2013 but NTNP from last 2 years. no problems from DH. For me moderate endo which was operated in Nov/13. But very low ovarian reserve according to AMH test and FSH hormone so referred to IVF first appointment on 4 February
    • lucyloo77 TTC#1 since 07/2011. 35, OH is 41. OH has low SA/motility, me no known issues. Unsuccessful IVF/ICSI in May 2013 and August 2013.
    • MrsDavo TTC#1 (together) since 01/2011. 25, OH : 35. I have 6yr old girl, he has 4yr old girl both from different relationships. MMC April 2012. Diagnosed PCOS Dec 2012 - i ovulate on my own maybe twice a year! Male slightly low. Tried 3 cycles of Clomid in 2013. Next step: Metformin for 3 months daily, back to FS on 5/2/14.
    • onestep TTC#2 (dd 9) we've stopped actively ttc now, & are investigating adoption. Next Step Waiting to be assigned a SW
    • Part Mouse TTC#1 since 2009. 29 DH 36. PCOS, blocked right tube, no ov. Male problems as well. No response to tamoxafin. Next Step: Currently injecting Menpur to stimulate ovulation.
    • Peonie TTC #1 since 08/10. 35, DH 38. Severe endo. 1 MC 06/12. Next step: IVF short protocol in January..
    • Purcy81 TTC#1 since 09/12 aged 32 DH aged 32. 2MC (Oct 12 & Jun 13) Irregular and long cycles with late OV and short LP (managed to get it to 10 days now with AC and Vit B6). Other than this no known problems on either side. Next steps Just keep trying, both MC have been confirmed by the doctor but no medical help or even testing will be forthcoming as we can get pregnant and they only test after 3MC as having 2 is "probably just bad luck"
    • Picklekin TTC #1 since July 2012. Unexplained fertility. Tried 6 months of clomid without success. Now waiting for a referral to a new gynaecologist for a second opinion.
    • Primmer TTC#1 since 2009. 39, DH 48. Unexplained infertility. Unsuccessful IVF treatment. Considering adoption but still hoping for a miracle.
    • sadshoequeenAge 39 originally TTC #1 2009, mc may 2011, breastcancer diagnosis aug 2011, TTC again since July 2013 think ovulating but maybe randomly as one ovary, fsh levels fine. Next step: unsure
    • Sewit TTC #1 Oct 2011. Me - 35, DH 38. Unexplained Infertility. AMH 4. 1st IVF 8 eggs, 4 fertilised, 2x2dt -BFN Stepping away from TTC until Jan 2014.
    • skint_catt TTC#2. (DD aged 2). Weve been trying for 12 months & hubby is 42 & I am 36. next step: pelvic scan 24/10/13 & waiting for AF for GP to do more bloods on CD3.
    • Skaps So far have had my blood tests, OH has had his tests which have come back fine. Had an ultrasound and they think they found a polyps so am going to have a hysteroscopy to check and remove it if its there.
    • Smookle TTC for approx 18 months. Aged 27. DH 29. Had laproscopy and diagnosed with moderate Endo and adhesions. All allegedly fixed and fine but still not pregnant. Regular, short cycles, ovulating 2 out of 3 times. Failed IUI Dec/14 Next step - IVF/ICSI referral for Jan 14
    • Star02 Married in 2008 and been trying to conceive since 2009, in 2011 had tests and confirmed would need ICSI, however I was too young to qualify for NHS funding. Next Step Just received letter to have a referral as although still to young based on prior criteria they have removed the lower age limit due to the change in the age discrimination laws.
    • teaandcupcakeordeath TTC #1 since 04/2011. Me (30). BMI 31. Unicornuate Uterus, PCOS, Mild Endo. Irregular cycles. Elevated Prolactin. DH (30) Poor SA results (count, motility and morphology). Next Step: Slowly going mad. Awaiting Brain MRI results to check for benign tumour. Next Step: 2 cycles of NHS IVF with ICSI approved when results are in and BMI at target.
    • Tea Lover TTC#1 since 2009. Me - 35, endo, pcos. OH - 41, v poor SA results (count, motility, morphology). Clomid - didn't do much. One ICSI cycle - BFP then early m/c. Next step: ICSI #2 - Feb14.
    • theonlywayisup TTC#1 since feb 12. Me (29) pcos, long irregular cycles. OH (30) awaiting results of SA. Also awaiting fs appointment and results of possible partial molar pregnancy.
    • tia86 TTC1 since 12/12 (27 years old, OH 28). First appointment with FS booked for March. Scan for PCOS booked for Feb.
      time2deal TTC#1 since 10/11. 37. DH 376. Low AMH, Low SA - but ovulating fine. Overweight (29 BMI). Cervical cancer 12/12 (remission 03/13). IVF 01/13 9 frozen embryos. IVF Nov 2013 cycle cancelled due to cervical scarring. 3 embryos frozen. Next Step Unsure. Considering NHS IVF
    • Vesper 29 been with hubby since 2003. NTNP since end of 2003. Early MC 2006. It made us realise the time was right and started trying properly by following Ov in around 2010, and using a cbfm in Oct 2011. Hubby had mumps as a toddler. SA in 08 showed a low sperm count, but not sure on details. Next Steps. trying to get a SA for hubby again, and been refered for day 21 bloods at local hospital. Waiting for appointment.
    • Whattodonow TTC#1 for for over 2 years. 32, Had all scans - OK, OH has supersperm, I have around 11 AMH, so not great. Three rounds of clomid - totally eff-ed up my cycle and effected my eyesight, so didn't complete 4th round. Next step Awaiting consultant appointment to begin IVF treatment
    • Wonder Woman TTC#1 for approx. 1 year. Me: 27, no known problems, DH: 34, problem with vas deferens. On 1st NHS IVF cycle (long protocol)Next step Down reg scan booked for 12 Nov 13. Hoping for EC in w/c 25 Nov 13.
    Last edited by tea lover; 04-03-2014 at 8:09 AM.
Page 265
    • ellesbellesxxx
    • By ellesbellesxxx 2nd Nov 17, 7:29 AM
    • 1,072 Posts
    • 2,224 Thanks
    Hi Lily rose, gosh each trust is so different in their criteria mine would have been three year wait if unexplained but lap and dye showed it would be almost impossible to conceive naturally.
    Of course I don't mind you asking.. ask anything! Yes first go x

    Sporty girl how are you getting on?

    • SportyGirl
    • By SportyGirl 5th Nov 17, 4:28 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    So far so good. Iím going for scan this week to see if Iím responding to the down regs then if so Iíll start the stimulation drugs.
    Just trying to take it one week and day at a time.

    How are you all getting on?
    • cwtw
    • By cwtw 7th Nov 17, 11:08 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    Hi Ladies,
    I'm so pleased to see this thread being used again, it was a life saver for me!
    We went to the CRGH under the NHS. They were fantastic. The important thing for me was making sure we had all the tests done before the IVF, so we were clear what was working and what wasn't. Robert Winston has written an excellent guide to infertility, explaining all the tests that should be done before you start the IVF journey - you should be able to get all of these on the NHS, even if your local authority doesn't find IVF. He also has a web page where her answers questions about infertility, link here
    We were lucky and our IVF worked on our second go. We hope to go back soon and try again for another one, and will have to have all the tests again as things can change so much after having a baby.
    Good luck everyone
    • skaps
    • By skaps 11th Nov 17, 8:10 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks
    Hi hope you're feeling a bit better Lily. The journey for me was hard and long. It took years and lots of tests before we were referred for IVF. No idea why we were unexplained. Tests showed everything was great with both of us. Think my eggs and his sperm just don't like each other.
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
    • skaps
    • By skaps 11th Nov 17, 8:11 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks
    My only advice for getting through it all is to have nice days out with your partner. It can take alot out of you this journey and life can seem to be consumed by it. Doing nice things once in a while helped us as a couple to refocus. X
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
    • skaps
    • By skaps 11th Nov 17, 8:12 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks
    Also it's good to talk about it. This forum and speaking to close friends helped. X
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
    • Lily_Rose
    • By Lily_Rose 2nd Dec 17, 6:48 AM
    • 67 Posts
    • 109 Thanks

    Sorry for being AWOL.

    We went to an open day at The Herts & Essex fertility centre as its the closest clinic to us, I was actually quite pleased with the information they provided and the fact that all treatments would be carried out in one place.

    I was quite sad as AF came a few days ago and I really thought I was pregs due to maintained higher than normal BBT and being relaxed, unfortunately that's what you get for symptom spotting.

    So anyway, we booked for a consultation and had our appt this week. Unfortunately I have low AMH - 8.1 to be exact which is very low considering I am 30 and I have a reserve equivalent to a 38 year old so we best get started! Fortunately OH has very good sperm so they recommended normal IVF, but depending on how many eggs they retrieve we may need ICSI.

    They can't start until the NY due to Xmas closures and also although I want to get started asap, I want to have 1 last indulge before treatment.

    I've calculated and 1 treatment will cost around £6500 *gulp*, I'm not sure how we are going to be able to afford further treatments but I hope the 1st will be successful. If we aren't then the 3 year of TTC would be in 3 months time - hopefully we will get referred and not too long of a waiting list...

    The cost of the medication is quite hefty, I have been googling and come across some people buying treatment from Asda/Boots - did you ladies buy from here or from the clinic? What did you do with sharps/disposal?

    Since the consultation, its dawned on me that I may never become pregnant and may need to consider possible egg donation/adoption but all I want to be is a mummy to a child.

    Thanks for your time
    • SportyGirl
    • By SportyGirl 3rd Dec 17, 9:13 AM
    • 11 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    Hi Lily Rose,

    I!!!8217;m just going through my first ivf (icsi) on the NHS. Once you have your first appointment it can move quite quickly. I waited around 3 months I think to get an appointment then the first appointment was mid October and treatment started 24th October.

    If this is unsuccessful then we will paying too and it looks like £6-8k per cycle!!

    My meds were included, but my friend who paid for hers said that Asda are always the cheapest and the clinic is most expensive.

    You can take the full sharps bin back to the clinic for disposal as I believe they have to be incinerated.

    If you have any other questions, I!!!8217;m happy to answer them.

    All the best.
    • kate5555
    • By kate5555 4th Dec 17, 2:57 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 76 Thanks
    Hi Ladies,

    I've been following the TTC thread for a while now although have never posted. I'm 28, OH is 43 and we have been TTC since Aug 2014 (although the first 2-3 years was NTNP, thinking a relaxed approach would be good.

    However we have now started discussions with the GP, starting with OH's blood tests and semen analysis. The GP didn't give us the full results but the summary was low motility and (I think?) high abnormality. OH is to be referred to the fertility centre. I still have to go for blood tests but the right time of the month for this will be on xmas day or thereabouts so will probably need to wait until January.

    I'm now feeling disheartened to keep tracking cycles and suffering the 2ww when it seems unlikely we will conceive without a bit of help.

    Following along hoping this thread stays active as I would be really interested to hear other peoples stories and experiences.
    • skaps
    • By skaps 6th Dec 17, 8:01 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks
    Hi all. Yes I agree once you have your first appointment things can move pretty quickly.

    I'm going to the hospital next week to see about using my frozen embryos. I'm excited but also really nervous.
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
    • slothsocks
    • By slothsocks 7th Dec 17, 10:25 AM
    • 46 Posts
    • 93 Thanks
    Hi, can I join please? I've been posting on the TTC thread but we are booked in for our first IVF appointment in 2 weeks time. We've been TTC for a year and all our tests have come back normal but were recommended to go straight to IVF because of my age. I thought it might be nice to join in here as it sounds like a few of you are at a similar stage,

    We will be self funded as we already have a child. We have gone with a multi cycle package as we are unlikely to be successful first time given that I'm older and they offered a finance package so we were able to borrow the money. I don't like the thought of getting into debt again, given how hard we have worked to avoid it, but I do feel as though this is our last chance.

    I'm happy to hear that others haven't experienced a massive delay between the first appointment and starting treatment. Hoping we can get things started in January or soon after.

    Good luck to you all going through the same thing
    • kate5555
    • By kate5555 7th Dec 17, 1:45 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 76 Thanks
    Good luck to all for upcoming appointments / treatments!

    I've been feeling quite down since getting the results of OH's SA but trying to remember its just the beginning of our journey. On the positive side I did go to donate blood again, I had been advised not to while TTC, but now as it seems unlikely I'll be getting pregnant any time soon I thought it would be safe enough this time, so that made me feel a bit better.

    Out of interest can I ask how many people you are tellling about trying IVF?
    • slothsocks
    • By slothsocks 7th Dec 17, 1:55 PM
    • 46 Posts
    • 93 Thanks
    Don't feel down Kate. I'm sorry your OH's SA wasn't more positive but there are ways to improve it. At least you know what the problem is and male factor can be overcome with the right fertility treatments.
    Our testes all came back normal so we have no idea what's stopping us or what treatment will be helpful. This has resulted in us paying out quite a lot already and are no further along. We have no idea whether IVF will work for us or not.

    Re telling people, we have only told people who need to know. Our parents as we asked them to help out financially, my sister because it impacts plans we had made together, and my boss because I will require time off work for appointments.
    • kate5555
    • By kate5555 7th Dec 17, 3:35 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 76 Thanks
    Thanks slothsocks Yes have already sent OH out to buy loose boxers

    It must be so frustrating not knowing why you aren't getting pregnant but fingers crossed IVF works for you.

    I think I will probably do the same as you and only tell those who need to know. I've only told my best friend but as she has isn't sure if she even wants kids I don't think she could really relate.
    • easilydistracted
    • By easilydistracted 5th Jan 18, 6:42 PM
    • 462 Posts
    • 506 Thanks
    Just thought I'd pop up and say hello as this thread seems to have woken up. We have been TTC for 2 years now and I have just taken my first injection for IVF cycle number one. OH had to help as I got too overwhelmed! Hope you are all doing ok
    • Lily_Rose
    • By Lily_Rose 6th Jan 18, 9:02 AM
    • 67 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    Good morning all, hope everyone had a great Xmas and NY, here's to better year

    SportyGirl, how did your ICSI go? Fingers crossed that it is a positive for you!

    kate5555, we have told people we are looking to go down IVF route but haven't actually told them we are. I'm not sure we will - don't want the sympathy vote or anyone's 'tips' on getting pregnant, as if we weren't already trying! Have you received an appt re: your blood tests yet? Our tests came back normal and have been labelled unexplained infertility

    skaps, how did your appt go?

    slothsocks, I think we're in a similar situation. AF came on Xmas day - what a lovely present eh? I've been on the pill (how ironic) and will be until our next appt in a couple of weeks. We had an appt this week with the nurse to go through a treatment timeline. I have to have an SIS at the next appt and then they will let me know what drugs to be on and whether I'd be suitable for the short or long protocol.

    easilydistracted, you are slightly ahead of me in the treatment - I hope all goes well and don't forget to relax . Is your treatment via NHS or private? If private, where did you source your drugs and how quickly did you receive these?

    Good luck everyone, have a lovely weekend
    • skaps
    • By skaps 16th Jan 18, 7:23 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks

    Easilydistracted hope all is going well.

    Lilyrose we are unexplained fertility too. How's it all going?

    As for me we had our appointment in Decemeber and had to have some bloods and an internal scan done. All came back good so hoping to start our FET next month. Got to wait for AF to come and then contact the hospital. Hoping it all goes well.

    Happy New year all and hope it's a great year for us all xxx
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
    • Lily_Rose
    • By Lily_Rose 17th Jan 18, 5:39 PM
    • 67 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    Hey all, hope everyone is ok.

    We had an appointment and it turns out I have 2 polyps which need removing...more delays. It will cost £2500 if doing private so I'm hoping referral from the clinic will push things along via NHS. I am so disappointed with my body . I had a internal ultrasound about 1.5 years ago and nothing was found. So either it has appeared since then or the lady doing ot didnt do it properly .

    Good luck skaps and keep us updated please x
    • Bertie_Yellow
    • By Bertie_Yellow 23rd Jan 18, 9:29 AM
    • 8 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    Hi everyone,

    I hope you don't mind me posting on here as technically my partner and I have not been trying for a year yet, however we are a lesbian couple undergoing IVF. I have been posting on the TTC thread but I expect there are more people on here having similar treatment to us.

    I am 28 and my partner is 29, we recently had our first consultation with CARE fertility. We expected them to advice IUI however we were told (and kind of recommended) to go straight to IVF because the success rate is so much higher. We're still not 100% sure what we're going to do but I think we are leaning towards IVF. I am hoping to carry our first child with my own eggs and a sperm donor.

    We are hoping to start treatment in June, I've just had initial blood tests and we have to have a counselling session later in the week.

    Again, I really hope you don't mind be posting. Whilst as far as we know we are not necessarily facing any infertility issues, I can certainly sympathise with the heart break of not being able to create a child with the person you love as easily as others can.

    Best wishes to all
    • skaps
    • By skaps 25th Jan 18, 8:19 PM
    • 2,243 Posts
    • 10,171 Thanks
    LilyRose I know how annoying this can be. I had polyps and had to have then removed and then had to try again for 6 months before I was referred for IVF. The doctor said that could have stopped me getting pregnant. Hope your appointment comes soon. X
    MFW 2016 No 68 £1300/£8500 No new toiletries Cook sth different
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

803Posts Today

5,794Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • It's the start of mini MSE's half term. In order to be the best daddy possible, Im stopping work and going off line?

  • RT @shellsince1982: @MartinSLewis thanx to your email I have just saved myself £222 by taking a SIM only deal for £7.50 a month and keeping?

  • Today's Friday twitter poll: An important question, building on yesterday's important discussions: Which is the best bit of the pizza...

  • Follow Martin