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  • FIRST POST
    Former MSE Debs
    Real-life MMD: I got 400 for finding someone a job, should I give them half?
    • #1
    • 31st Jan 13, 1:39 PM
    Real-life MMD: I got 400 for finding someone a job, should I give them half? 31st Jan 13 at 1:39 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: I got 400 for finding someone a job, should I give them half?

    My employer runs a scheme where if someone you refer gets a job, you receive 400. I recently referred a friend looking for a higher salary and, happily, she got the job and she now earns an extra 300pcm. She seems to think the 400 will be split between us and has asked me what 'we' should do with 'our' 400. Should I tell her it's actually meant for the referee alone, or keep quiet and split it?


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    Last edited by Former MSE Debs; 05-02-2013 at 4:27 PM.
Page 1
  • mayling03
    • #2
    • 5th Feb 13, 8:57 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Feb 13, 8:57 PM
    Difficult one. We run a similar scheme at work and for my friend we agreed beforehand we would split it. Think you gotta work in the same office so is it worth arguing over? Guess it depends how close you guys are. Alternative is to 'treat' her to a meal and keep the rest.
  • keriku
    • #3
    • 5th Feb 13, 8:57 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Feb 13, 8:57 PM
    Tell her that if she refers someone, she will get the same bonus! After all is she going to give you 1/2 of her extra 300 per month?
    • billbennett
    • By billbennett 5th Feb 13, 9:21 PM
    • 2,270 Posts
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    billbennett
    • #4
    • 5th Feb 13, 9:21 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Feb 13, 9:21 PM
    If it was agreed beforehand to split it, then split it.

    If not, I'd keep it. If she keeps on about it, just tell her you already spent it, but you think there's enough left to buy her a burger if she wants one.
    In "Monopoly", what makes the "Super Tax" so super?
  • Viberduo
    • #5
    • 5th Feb 13, 9:49 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Feb 13, 9:49 PM
    Tell her that if she refers someone, she will get the same bonus! After all is she going to give you 1/2 of her extra 300 per month?
    Originally posted by keriku
    That is something totally different.

    I would be unsure on the situation and how it was represented.

    Easiest way would be giving something like 100 as thats a big bonus for them
  • p.mckinlay
    • #6
    • 5th Feb 13, 10:35 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Feb 13, 10:35 PM
    It depends what you agreed beforehand. If there was no agreement, I would keep the money. After all she is 300 a month better off already. If you gave the impression that the money would be shared, then you should split it.
    • hairbrain05
    • By hairbrain05 5th Feb 13, 10:38 PM
    • 413 Posts
    • 1,049 Thanks
    hairbrain05
    • #7
    • 5th Feb 13, 10:38 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Feb 13, 10:38 PM
    If it was agreed beforehand to split it, then split it.

    If not, I'd keep it. If she keeps on about it, just tell her you already spent it, but you think there's enough left to buy her a burger if she wants one.
    Originally posted by billbennett
    ^ what bill said! unless was agreed in advance, its your referral bonus..... you already helped her get the job!

    I'm sure she will have the chance to refer someone else in the future.
    • pc1271
    • By pc1271 5th Feb 13, 11:35 PM
    • 273 Posts
    • 342 Thanks
    pc1271
    • #8
    • 5th Feb 13, 11:35 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Feb 13, 11:35 PM
    Even if you didn't discuss it, I think for the sake of your friendship it would be best to split - you still get 200 and keep a good personal and professional relationship with her. Quibble, and there'll be bad feeling, even if she accepts that the money is yours. Be pragmatic.
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 5th Feb 13, 11:38 PM
    • 17,148 Posts
    • 27,896 Thanks
    ringo_24601
    • #9
    • 5th Feb 13, 11:38 PM
    • #9
    • 5th Feb 13, 11:38 PM
    It's 'free money' - you never did any especial work to get it. Be a nice friend and split it
    • jax1305
    • By jax1305 5th Feb 13, 11:49 PM
    • 47 Posts
    • 123 Thanks
    jax1305
    maybe OP should consider that were it not for their friends' talents in landing the job, they wouldn't have the 400 bonus. Yes, the friend is now earning, as is OP but a good friend wouldn't think twice. As the friend has repeatedly mentioned the bonus, it appears that (whether explicitly stated before the job was secured) they're of the opinion it was to be shared.
    Just split it and thank your friend for having the decency to take the job and get the bonus for both of you
    • oldtrout
    • By oldtrout 6th Feb 13, 3:24 AM
    • 129 Posts
    • 176 Thanks
    oldtrout
    You should have made it clear that it was a referral fee before it got to this stage! Personally, I think it's yours, but you should have told her that when it was first discussed, so now it's your problem!

    I would probably go cap in hand to her and explain. Perhaps you could suggest that if you share yours with her, she might share any referral fee she gets with you. Obviously she would have to ensure that she initially gets the whole of her referral fee, and not create the same misunderstanding you have caused.
    • oldtrout
    • By oldtrout 6th Feb 13, 3:29 AM
    • 129 Posts
    • 176 Thanks
    oldtrout
    PS so many of these MMDs could be prevented by thinking ahead. Prevention is always better than cure.
    • crystal clear
    • By crystal clear 6th Feb 13, 3:53 AM
    • 535 Posts
    • 136 Thanks
    crystal clear
    I am not a mean or spiteful person and would rather give than take. But on this occassion I do think splitting will only cause upset in the future, and reason being ....

    If you split with friend now 50/50 or 75/25 next week your friend is in the same position as you where by they refer one of there friends and then you expect a share in return but also the same applies to there friend they refered and now your friend is starting to get resentfull at the fact they have now 2 way splits turned into 3 way splits and it spirals from there.

    So to save any future arguments I would kindly point out the pitfalls involved in any split and encourage the friend to take the bull by the horns and recommend there own friends at 400 bonus a time that they can freely keep going forward.

    In todays climate your friend is already on a winner not only do they have a job but it pays 300 pcm more and the option to refer further people and gain bonuses of 400 a time in the process ........ Keep your bonus and enjoy it to the fullest

    crystal clear
    2.00 savings club =2.00
    • telsco
    • By telsco 6th Feb 13, 5:03 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 429 Thanks
    telsco
    I would only split the money if the ONLY reason she applied for the job was to help you get the referral fee and not the extra 3600 a year she's now going to earn.
    This is very unlikely, so don't split it.
    She would be quite a selfish person if she expects you to hand over half.
    • joannie
    • By joannie 6th Feb 13, 9:11 AM
    • 45 Posts
    • 51 Thanks
    joannie
    referal bonus
    Hi, unless you agreed to split the money it is yours alone. Tell her she can earn the same if and when she refers someone. You are under no obligation to give her anything and she will not be giving you any of her increased salary I assume.
  • Sambucus Nigra
    Yes, if she splits her wages. Win-win.
    If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.
    • chocaholicmanc
    • By chocaholicmanc 6th Feb 13, 9:51 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    chocaholicmanc
    If it was discussed beforehand then perhaps it should be split, but if she is only aware of it as she now works at the company and will have seen the scheme details then no. It's a referal fee and it is yours to keep and spend as you see fit. Don't feel guilty about keeping your own money!
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 6th Feb 13, 10:09 AM
    • 25,182 Posts
    • 65,904 Thanks
    pollypenny
    Yea gods, no!

    She has an extra 300 per month and, presumably, a job she prefers to the one she had previously.

    She's already benefited!
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 6th Feb 13, 10:13 AM
    • 12,647 Posts
    • 26,389 Thanks
    robpw2
    split the money , or at the very least buy them something to welcome them to the company after all without them you woudlnt have the money


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    • CompChrissy
    • By CompChrissy 6th Feb 13, 11:11 AM
    • 402 Posts
    • 21,943 Thanks
    CompChrissy
    It's a referral bonus (not a new starter bonus). If the company meant for it to paid to each of you, it would be. End of.
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