Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    Little Miss Giggles
    Wait for Babies?
    • #1
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:02 PM
    Wait for Babies? 15th Apr 07 at 3:02 PM
    Hi everyone

    I just wanted to ask your opinions really about having a baby. My soon to be husband and I have put off having a baby until my loan is paid off which will be in another 3 years. I will be about 30/31 then.

    I have just seen one of my friends who is expecting a baby in August and she was surprised to hear I was going to wait until the debt is paid off. She said her and her husband would be waiting forever to pay off all their debts and reckons there is never a right time.

    I told her my view is that if I've got loan to pay, I have to keep working until it's paid off but she thought we would get by anyway.

    Now she has got me thinking that perhaps we should just go ahead and start trying.

    So what do you guys and gals think? Just after some opinions really.

    Thanks xx





    Last edited by Former MSE Dan; 22-05-2007 at 6:42 PM.
Page 1
    • skylight
    • By skylight 15th Apr 07, 3:13 PM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    • #2
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:13 PM
    • #2
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:13 PM
    Put together a realistic budget. How much can you save, can you pay off the debt faster etc.

    Your friend is right. You do find ways to get by (tightening belts etc - hence a realistic budget) and its never a right time for kids! You will never be "rich" enough, have saved enough or be debt-free enough!

    Whats more important is that you and your partner (soon-to-be-hubby!) have more than enough love to go round.

    But, you do acknowledge that you have this debt, so serious budget will go some way to showing you where you can make savings. When you have a baby and give up work, its more than just the loan that you need to think about.

    I am 32 and just had my fourth. Had my first at 19, the other two in my late 20's very early 30's and the last one really took it out of me - getting too old and too tired! And this was the first one that I wasn't working full-time throughout pregnancy! Another consideration for you!
    • Dithering Dad
    • By Dithering Dad 15th Apr 07, 3:19 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 8,150 Thanks
    Dithering Dad
    • #3
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:19 PM
    • #3
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:19 PM
    Kids bring such joy to your lives that you can never put a price on them.

    Saying that, they are a really expensive hobby!!

    You'll always have one financial issue or another throughout your life and if you wait until they're all sorted you'll be retired! You may take a while to conceive anyway - there are no guarantees.

    Go for it, your life will never be the same again (but in a good way!!)
  • Snaggles
    • #4
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:31 PM
    • #4
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:31 PM
    Despite what you read in the papers, babies are not that expensive either - you usually get given loads of stuff, particularly if it's your first. You can breast feed them exclusively for 6 months, so you don't have to buy any food for them at all, and use re-useable nappies or shop around for bargains on disposables etc.

    The biggest expense is clothes (George & Tescos do baby stuff for really good prices, or spend a bit more in places like Next and then sell on eBay when they grow out of them), and the 'big' items like cots, prams etc, but again, you can spend hundreds on the very latest travel system with integrated ABS and satnav (joking), or you can buy much more cheaply (or even get things free from Freecycle, or from friends and relatives).

    You do find ways of managing, and kids bring so much to your life - yes they are tiring, hard work, etc etc, but there's nothing like it when they give you a big cuddle and say 'I love you Mummy'.
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."


    9780007258925
    • skylight
    • By skylight 15th Apr 07, 3:37 PM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    • #5
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:37 PM
    • #5
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:37 PM
    Even clothes are not really that bad. I bought Ruby all hers from Ebay - large bundles of Newborns and other baby sizes sell for next to nothing.

    I have kitted her out up to Newborn to 6 months (mainly Next) for about £30 (inc delivery) in total, across several orders and all stuff that has barely (if ever) been worn.

    Friends and family have bought her new stuff - used Nectar points for Adams (can't now though!) for her sleepsuits and snowsuit, so all in all she has been a cheap baby.

    Do not forget benefits. Child benefit, depending on salaries then there is child tax credit, and *most* families recieve a maternity Grant of £500 (in your case claim after baby is born), plus maternity pay for 6 months (?) all add up to help the household income.
    • Dithering Dad
    • By Dithering Dad 15th Apr 07, 3:41 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 8,150 Thanks
    Dithering Dad
    • #6
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:41 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:41 PM
    .. but there's nothing like it when they give you a big cuddle and say 'I love you Mummy'.
    Originally posted by Snaggles
    Or "Daddy"

    I still remember the first time - I was sat on the floor in front of the DVD player, putting a "Barnie" DVD on for my little one, when I felt these tiny yet strangely powerful arms grabbing me around my throat, a big cheek crushing into my eye socket and an amazingly loud "I love you Daddy" shouted down my lughole.

    I like to think that she needed to tell me she loved me because I am such a wonderful Dad, rather than because I was putting her favourite DVD on. Tsk, that damned purple dinosaur.. how can you compete??
  • kinkypixie
    • #7
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:48 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:48 PM
    There was someone on here the other day with exactly the same questions. I will also have to wait til I'm around 30 before I'm debt free, and also worry about having children.

    As I read through many of the replies, most said that it was relatively cheap to bring up a baby/toddler. It just requires good planning.

    Another great suggestion I read was to just try living off you OH's salary, as that is what it would be like when you take time out to have the baby.

    I do agree that there will never be a good time, but there might be a better time when you feel more comfortable

    Good Luck!
    LBM - March 2007
    Total debt Jan 2008 - 23,535.62 (7050.74 - Student Loan) 16,484.88 13,762.86 (NOW) total debt
    Proud to be dealing with my debts - DFW NERD No. 457 Weekly budget 21.68
  • Snaggles
    • #8
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:51 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:51 PM
    Or "Daddy"
    Originally posted by Dithering Dad
    Yes, sorry.....or Daddy!

    I know what you mean about being in competition with a big purple dinosaur - I have to compete with the Power Rangers for my son's affection these days lol!
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."


    9780007258925
  • GirlRacer
    • #9
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:52 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Apr 07, 3:52 PM
    I got pregnant with my DS in 1994, DD in 1997. I was in debt in 1994 and 1997 and I'm still in debt 13 years later. At least now I've had my lightbulb moment I'm trying to get myself out of it.

    If I'd have planned to have my children, I'd probably still be childless. There's never a right time, there's always something to do - another holiday, a bigger house, an extension a new car etc etc.
  • postingalwaysposting
    i agree with most people on here you can afford childen while in debt, you just have to have a strict budget and also as snaggles says there are many ways around all the pricey things, if you and your oh feel its the right time then i think you should go for it, you arnt getting any younger

    • Dithering Dad
    • By Dithering Dad 15th Apr 07, 4:13 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 8,150 Thanks
    Dithering Dad
    It's weird that all the women posters are talking about finances and the men posters (only me I think, though this is a sweeping generalisation) talk only of the love and joy of having kids. The world has turned on it's head!! When did women get so mercenary!

    Oh go on, I'll allow 1 point to the girls because of Snaggle's comments.
  • Little Miss Giggles
    Thank you
    Thank you to everyone who has posted a comment. They are really useful and I will take them on board and have a chat with hubbie to be. I definitely think it's a good idea to draw up a budget so will have a look into that.

    I do agree with the fact that there is never a right time but the loan costs me 430 per month (about the same as our mortgage!!) and I can't see how I can pay it off without working and having a monthly wage coming in.

    But to be honest I've not got a clue about benefits, maternity pay etc. so think I need to do some research.

    I'll keep you posted!

    Thanks again xx
    • mountainofdebt
    • By mountainofdebt 15th Apr 07, 4:27 PM
    • 7,424 Posts
    • 10,794 Thanks
    mountainofdebt
    Something else to consider :

    if you didn't have your loan could you take more time off when the baby is born?

    Whilst I appreciate that if people waited until they could afford children, the human race would probably have died out, its also horrible to have to go back to work as soon as possible just because you have loans to pay for.
    2014 Target;
    To overpay CC by 1,000.
    Overpayment to date : 310

    2nd Purse Challenge:
    15.88 saved to date
  • kinkypixie
    There is a good site that you can go on to work out what you're entitled to benefit wise, I will look it up and post it, someone else might know the one I'm going on about!!
    LBM - March 2007
    Total debt Jan 2008 - 23,535.62 (7050.74 - Student Loan) 16,484.88 13,762.86 (NOW) total debt
    Proud to be dealing with my debts - DFW NERD No. 457 Weekly budget 21.68
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th Apr 07, 4:29 PM
    • 57,948 Posts
    • 238,369 Thanks
    beanielou
    HI LMG
    Is the loan your only debt?
    Have you worked out that you can afford it if you were on mat pay?
    Welcome to MSe by the way!
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • skylight
    • By skylight 15th Apr 07, 4:30 PM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    www.entitledto.co.uk
  • emmaroids
    no point waiting till your debts are paid off cos you will be skint when a baby comes anyway.
    so have your baby now, you wont regret it.
    No Unapproved or Personal links in signatures please - FT3
  • Ciara
    Also, bear in mind that you may not get pregnant straight away, me and OH have been trying for the last 2 and a half years. Hopefully with the aid of fertility treatment theres light at the end of the tunnel.

    It takes an average couple 6 to 12 months to conceive.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 15th Apr 07, 5:15 PM
    • 20,425 Posts
    • 33,966 Thanks
    Spendless
    She's right in that there is no right time to have a baby and that you will manage because you have to BUT having a baby and NO longer having any debt to pay back means you can say I can take longer off work, stop work, go part-time, have a fantastic holiday etc.
  • Mindy
    To be honest the only person who can decide that the time is right is the two of you.

    The fact that you are questioning it means that you aren't sure.

    You need to sit down and see whether you would be able to afford to give up work for a period of time, before you return, perhaps your employer would let you go back part-time rather than full-time (although of course there will be childcare costs).

    The fact that you are thinking about it in terms of your debt shows you are a responsible person, something perhaps your friend isn't?

    Just had a look, and don't think you have said how old you are. wouldn't it be great if I could read - have seen it now!

    I was lucky that when I got married aged 27 we didn't have any debts other than mortgage and we decided to try straight away, at age 28 the tests started, my OH had to have an operation - testicular varicosea (?sp) - and then we still needed help and had my lovely lovely son at age 32 - but we were a lot older when we started the process.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
    Last edited by Mindy; 15-04-2007 at 5:35 PM.

Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,522Posts Today

9,475Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Just sent a text about postgrad loans. My Swype text auto-corrected it to pothead loans. Does it know something I don't?

  • Are you an overdraft prisoner? How to escape it! My new blog on ways to get rid of your overdraft... https://t.co/KbJwbWLFQI

  • RT @bbc5live: .@MartinSLewis joins @annaefoster from midday to answer your money saving questions. ???? 08085 909 693 ???? 85058 Or post your q?

  • Follow Martin