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  • FIRST POST
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 9th Jun 12, 11:40 PM
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    Jojo the Tightfisted
    Hoarding...not just on TV
    • #1
    • 9th Jun 12, 11:40 PM
    Hoarding...not just on TV 9th Jun 12 at 11:40 PM
    Welcome to the Thread

    This is a friendly, supportive thread for anybody who is affected by hoarding issues. Hoarding isn't just untidiness, it isn't laziness - it's a genuine problem, and it can affect generations of families, all in different ways.

    Some of us are the product of an environment where somebody else's hoarding affected us deeply, some have much loved partners, some have the condition and are trying to deal with the emotional and practical issues involved. Some are the exact opposite and just want to help. Everybody is welcome.


    So, if you would like to post, whether once or often, lurk quietly in the shadows, never saying a word, or if you have an interest in understanding why this is happening to somebody, please, come in, take a seat and someone will be popping in to say hello.


    We don't hide our thoughts or our opinions - it isn't a thread for agreement, if someone thinks another poster is making excuses or avoiding the real issues, we will say so in a fair, calm manner. We're not going to tell you that hoarding is OK. But we do understand it's more than tidying up. We've seen it, we've experienced it one way or another. We are unshockable, so don't hide your problems, thinking we'll judge you.



    ************************

    Through the course of this thread, we're realising just how much hoarding confuses our lives and our emotions - and hoarding is inextricably linked to emotional pain, loss and unresolved feelings.

    A poster has asked the question - what happens next? This is her question and the reply I gave - it may help somebody else;


    I am also dragged down by fear...what happens when I've de-hoarded...what happens if I'm still unhappy and lonely...?



    You feel the same emotions, but

    you are capable of finding clean clothes,
    a pair of socks,
    of sitting down on any chair,
    of going to bed without having to take your life in your hands going upstairs,
    of inviting someone round who wants to see you and could make you feel less lonely without concern for their opinion or personal safety,
    you have more money as you aren't spending it on 'stuff' to fill the hole in your heart.

    You aren't harbouring mould spores,
    dust mites
    and various other nasties that can sap your strength and make you or your loved ones unwell.

    You have space to think,
    to adjust,
    acknowledge,
    adapt to the uncomfortable feelings,
    as you aren't hemmed in by distractions such as a pile of things over there that are threatening to fall over.


    You can find different things to do that can give you pleasure - having a lovely colour on the walls,
    finding a beautiful picture, having it framed and putting it on your wall where you can see and appreciate it properly,
    going out and starting other activities,
    inviting friends round without worrying,
    not stressing about the gas man,




    It doesn't solve everything. But it makes the day to day so much better, easier, smoother. Which gives you time and space to deal with the harder stuff.


    ************************

    This is the post that started the thread off:



    You know those people on telly? The ones with years of accumulated things up to the ceilings, in every room, filling the bath, on every stair?

    I know someone like that.

    My mother.


    Anyhow, having been banned from her house years and years ago, repeated visits from what sounds to be a rather unsympathetic minion from the council offices, she let me in early this morning.




    The first thing I had to do was find the back door. During this process, she was snatching stuff up, squealing that she had to keep it and stacking it on a chair. I wasn't even throwing stuff, I was just going to pick it up.

    It took an hour to get the door open.

    Four and a half hours later, I had cleared the central part of the floor, scrubbed muck and filth of twenty years off the bits I could reach and scraped it off three cupboard doors, the cooker and the washing machine.

    I did not manage to reach any of the three refrigerators or the freezers, the corners of the room, the tabletop, the hob, the top of everything.

    She now has a large IKEA bag full of rolls of foil, greaseproof and cling film, although there must be hundreds more in there somewhere. There is a crate full of washing powders, one of cleaning materials and cloths (all unused, obviously), and pots and pans.

    Oh Lord, the pots and pans. If I could find space to put them in the garden, it would look like a Tinker's Yard. I have seen 17 frying pans thus far, there could be hundreds. Electric knives, chopping gadgets, lock N lock containers.

    Food out of date years ago, as she wails that it's all new and fresh, her voice tails off when I show her the use by dates of a decade ago.

    I managed to get to the bathroom sink and gave that a quick scrub, stepping over 3 toilet seats stacked up beside the loo and tons of bottles and towels and boxes and things.


    She says she can't afford a skip and we stand surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of stuff. She then says all I need is 10 bin bags and the council will take it away for free. Then it would be silly to get a 2 yard skip before I have done anything much. She needs a nineyarder about ten times, I reckon.

    I'm going back on Monday for another half day.

    But I don't know if I can do this. There's just so much stuff, so much dirt and filth and crud and muck. Cleaning would be easy, I'd be more than happy to do that, but this is so much more than cleaning.


    I came home exhausted, itching and I took one look at my house (which is bring decorated at present, so is untidy) and the fear welled up in me so much, I promptly went and threw up the one drink I had all day as I couldn't begin to consider consuming anything in my mother's house. And I had a 20 minute shower and a lie down like a complete drama queen, I felt so ill.


    You see the fly lady thread, the decluttering thread, even the oh-my-house-is-really-bad thread. But nothing on how to deal with this. It's a mental illness, it's a health hazard, it's cleaning where star drops doesn't even begin to scratch the surface layer if filth.


    I'm not the only person here in this position.


    But it feels like it round about now.


    So please, let's have this as a thread for all of this, where we can understand what it feels like to see a fully grown adult snatch a rusty tin tray that used to have a cat picture in it, clutch it to her chest squealing 'that's my pus sy cat' and all you see in your mind's eye is Gollum wanting his Precioussssss, to be forbidden from throwing anything else today, you mutter darkly as you return to the Tupperware that you'll just go back to rearranging the deck heirs on the Titanic then, shall I?


    I can't be the only one.
    Last edited by Jojo the Tightfisted; 16-09-2012 at 11:53 PM.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
Page 71
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 31st Jul 12, 10:16 PM
    • 3,518 Posts
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    Gingernutty
    British Heart Foundation - she's running/ walking/slogging/hiking in memory of her Dad
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 31st Jul 12, 10:26 PM
    • 12,227 Posts
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    GreyQueen
    I can well believe that, I once spent 1 day working in a dairy filling milk cartons for the major supermarket (It all comes from exactly the same tank just goes into bottles with different labels on - Tesco, Co-op etc.)
    When the tanks came in from outside they were covered in slugs & snails and I was disgusted when the workers started throwing them at one another! they were being thrown over the machinery so Im not surprised if one got in a bottle.
    I refused to go back there to work and quit on the spot .
    Originally posted by mollythewestie
    That's so gross.

    Back when I was a student we had some interesting lectures and one of them was about the case which established in our law that the manufacturers had a responsibility to the consumers of a product for its quality.

    Can't quote the case name as am not a legal eagle but it was about 100 years ago (I think) and the issue was a woman found a snail in her bottle of ginger beer. Or something similar. And now we're going backwards.

    I used to work in a meat packing factory and after what I've seen, all I can say is that it's a miracle there isn't more food poisoning that there is already...........

    JoJo all the best with your job application. I rejoinded the work force p/t after 7 years on disability benefits and I know how uncomfortable it is to try to account for the gap in a positive way..........tell them about this thread, you're our heroine and you've helped a lot of people.
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 31st Jul 12, 10:36 PM
    • 3,518 Posts
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    Gingernutty
    Donoghue v Stevenson

    One of the first cases in British law establishing that the manufacturer of a product had a duty of care to the customers who bought or consumed said product
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Byatt
    • By Byatt 31st Jul 12, 10:48 PM
    • 3,403 Posts
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    Byatt
    Molly, GQ's post reminded me about yours, and I really appreciate it. Poor dad, it was some years ago, in the late 70's (that makes me feel so old!), and the milk company just denied it, said it wasn't possible and he didn't follow it through. Of course then without the internet you didn't have the information or clout.

    I must admit after Calico's post about the kettle I checked mine before I filled it, and then realised there was a net thing across the spout so couldn't have got in, or could it?

    recently, someone local said they found a lizard in their loaf of bread bought from Mr T.

    edit, to get back on track, I have decluttered some of my paper work. Letter to HB people (why does it take me so long, as when I actually get down to doing it, it takes me just minutes to write!)...form regarding DD sent off and updated my voting thingy online.
    Last edited by Byatt; 31-07-2012 at 10:51 PM.
    Hiraeth beckons with wordless call...
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 1st Aug 12, 7:56 AM
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    GreyQueen
    Donoghue v Stevenson

    One of the first cases in British law establishing that the manufacturer of a product had a duty of care to the customers who bought or consumed said product
    Originally posted by Gingernutty
    You are clever!

    I heard that mentioned once, in passing, about 30 years ago and it stuck in my memory. We're so accustomed to the idea that there is a responsibility on behalf of the manufacturer to us as consumers that it's hard to comprehend that this was ever a novel idea.

    Some great progress being made on individual de-richarding here. I am slowing down slightly but there is a good reason; I am tackling the Unread Books. You know, as a book lover it is entirely possible to buy them a lot faster than you can read them, esp at c.s. prices and that way lies madness.

    Or at least, big heavy piles of repurposed tree. My unreads number less than a dozen but some have been loitering for years and I am determined to get them read and given away. I don't know what to do about the 3 inch deep hardcover fantasy novel borrowed from my brother tho; I have it balanced on the top of my computer tower to stop a very annoying vibration problem!

    Anyone else hanging onto something because it is serving a completely-random purpose in their lives?
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • Brighton belle
    • By Brighton belle 1st Aug 12, 9:52 AM
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    Brighton belle
    Anyone else hanging onto something because it is serving a completely-random purpose in their lives?
    Originally posted by GreyQueen
    I am so tempted to put my DH.
    Well, can't believe this, woke up this morning and thought, I'm getting rid of the the shoes I don't feel good in, even if ther is nothing wrong with them. I've just put 6 pairs in a bag, 2 of them good enought o try and sell at the nearly new shop.(But had for 15 yrs and 4 years respectively and both worn once)
    They have yet to make it out of the house, but I am like the feeling so far.
    This leaves me with a total of 12 pairs of footwear (including all boots/trainers sandels etc, but not 1 x wellies or 1 x walking boots stored with outdoor gear). And another pair of sandels are on probation: if not worn 4 times between now and end of Sept, they need to go. Yes, I will need a couple fo new pairs of shoes and 1 x boots this winter, but there is room on my shoe shelf now for them. My rule, since putting up the shelves in february, is all footwear has to fit on the shelf, so from now on it is a one in one out policy.
    This is where for me, everything in the open works: our shoes and clothes are all 'on dispplay' on open shelvs and hanging space in our bedroom (no room for doors). In does avoid the 'out of sight,out of mind' that I find I am very prone to.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
    • Byatt
    • By Byatt 1st Aug 12, 10:55 AM
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    Byatt
    BB, I do that, wake up and find I've made a decision. I am sure we process it all as we sleep.

    My plan is if it doesn't have a home it goes, although I make it sound easier than it is. I still struggle, but realise the only way I can get a grip on things here is to have a place for everything, and if there's no place, well that's it. By that I don't want cupboards/shleves bursting at the seams.
    Hiraeth beckons with wordless call...
  • Lazy Liz
    Cookery books need sorting, several I have not ever used even once and some I have only ever made one recipe out of, better off photo-copying the reciep and letting someone finde a nice practicaly new cooker book at the CS. Also a lot of free booklets from supermarkets and manufactures, I've got one from an Italain rissoto rice company, lots of risotto receipes, I can make risotto with my eyes closed I hardly need a book of 30 odd different varieties of the same thing-each one written out fully.
    Wardrobe also needs sorting- I read somewhere that you should rehang worn clothes on the right of your wardrobe then after 3 months get rid of the lefthand half as you are not wearing those colthes, was that on here? Only problem is I have thinkgs like pretty summer dresses but non worn as too miserable this summer, they fit and I like them so they can't go.

    Was thinking about finishing things, well done to those people who are making progress with why they don't finish things but then you stilll need to finish the projects. I think this takes real practice, finshing is hard. I improved my finished project score by taking one thing, working out a suitable timescale to get it done then doing that one thing, I found it helped if I could think of a good reason to finish it and a perhaps even more compelling consequence if it wasn't finished. In my case it was essays at college so I had the reason of getting thrown off my course which is pretty drastic and not likely to be the case for finishing a jumper but it still took a lot of will power to get to the end, I had handed in a few not properly finished with a sort of scrawled "conclusions" paragraph on the end. I still got reasonable marks becuase the rest of the essay was good but of course the last bit let me down. Once I got into the habit of finishing the things my marks improved but mainly I found I felt better about myself as I wasn't letting me down any more. I try and apply this two reasons, one good one bad to other projects in my life now and it really helps.
    "doing the best you enjoy, not the best you can tolerate, is truly the best you can do sustainably."
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 1st Aug 12, 4:09 PM
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    Jojo the Tightfisted
    Afternoon everybody, and well done on your choices today!


    I actually bought two things today. One was a new pair of PJs, so I have 2 pairs that I find comfortable (chucks tatty vests and misshapen trackie bottoms that had been sufficing - sort of).


    The other was a set of poultry shears. Because I have started buying a small chicken and portioning it up, rather than getting pieces. Much cheaper, but it was getting a little risky for me (and too enjoyable for the cat) when I walloped the things with a cleaver and sent bits of chicken flying across the kitchen.


    Oh well.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
  • susyrosy
    I'm not a hoarder, though of course I do have a home full of things I like having around - but they have to do the William Morris thing, and be useful and decorative. I've found that the more storage space you have (that thing so beloved of wardrobe makers and designers) the more stuff you ram into it. Remove excess (value judgment here) storage - in my case, a campervan and extensive shelves - and you can't keep things.

    I have to boast a bit - I went to France for 9 days with one small carry on pocketed bag (Ryanair) and had three rolled up dresses, underwear, small toiletries, swimming costume and flipflops, and wore trousers, t shirt, cardigan and trainers - no problem. Didn't get to wear the swimming costume
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 1st Aug 12, 9:40 PM
    • 25,194 Posts
    • 101,511 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    I'm not a hoarder, though of course I do have a home full of things I like having around - but they have to do the William Morris thing, and be useful and decorative. I've found that the more storage space you have (that thing so beloved of wardrobe makers and designers) the more stuff you ram into it. Remove excess (value judgment here) storage - in my case, a campervan and extensive shelves - and you can't keep things.

    I have to boast a bit - I went to France for 9 days with one small carry on pocketed bag (Ryanair) and had three rolled up dresses, underwear, small toiletries, swimming costume and flipflops, and wore trousers, t shirt, cardigan and trainers - no problem. Didn't get to wear the swimming costume
    Originally posted by susyrosy


    [Applauds]

    I worked in travel insurance for a while. Since then, I never pack more than one small bag, as people lose thousands of pounds worth of stuff when cases go missing.


    Unfortunately, nobody I have ever gone anywhere with has been able to cope with less than about five cases, three bags and filling a car boot to overfilling. So I have never benefitted from this.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • katep23
    • By katep23 1st Aug 12, 10:15 PM
    • 1,346 Posts
    • 9,516 Thanks
    katep23
    Having an emotional time of it at the moment and it really shows how my hoarding is linked to my emotions - I have just had delivery of 12kg of pasta from Amazon

    Things are very much up in the air at the moment and obviously insecurity is making my food hoarding issues in particular go into overdrive.

    It's the first time I have really acknowledged that I feel like having "stuff" be it clothes, furniture, books or food around me will make me feel better and feel like I need these things. But of course it doesn't make me feel better. It just makes me feel frustrated and overwhelmed and I don't know where to start in clearing it.

    Thank you to everyone who has shared their emotional insights - it has helped me to face up to the link that so many people, not just me, have between emotions and hoarding. Sometimes not being the only one helps.

    And I promise, no more food shopping for the forseeable future (except fresh fruit and veg!)
    • wannabe sybil
    • By wannabe sybil 2nd Aug 12, 9:01 AM
    • 2,727 Posts
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    wannabe sybil
    katep23 - it is amazing how this thread is helping us all see things. Just recognising that there is a problem and giving it a name can be amazingly useful. Good luck!

    This is going to sound strange, but I am going to have to de-richard under the kitchen table today, in fact, de-richard all the kitchen floor as well. I found two mysterious puddles this morning that were not there when I was the last in the kitchen last night and they do not smell, so that rules out evil cat. I need to clear loads to get there. And little bear is in a bouncy mood this morning. He is currently playing war as I am insisting on eating breakfast and waking up before reading the fourteen books to him that he has cued up.

    So, against strong opposition by little bear, I am going to have to get a lot done. In addition, if I say I am going to iron I usually find myself hoovering, if I say I will go out I normally stay in - it is intensely frustrating for me. And today I need, need, need to try and clear the kitchen.

    I suspect the problem may well be a drain in the houses behind us, shared by two negligent landlords. Sigh.
    Ankh Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons - don't let my flame go out!
    • SpikyHedgehog
    • By SpikyHedgehog 2nd Aug 12, 11:50 AM
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    SpikyHedgehog
    Just found this thread so only read the first and last pages - will try and read more later. This has resonated with me - my Mum is exactly the same (in the hoarding dept - not threatening). She is 81 and I have tried all sorts of ways to help her and get her to deal with some of her posessions but she won't have it. I know she hasn't got over the death of my grandma some 20 plus years ago (still infact has her furniture as well now) and hasn't thrown anything away voluntarily for long before that. I can't go into her kitchen - I wouldn't be able to ever have a coffee there again, and nor would I be able to resist sorting it BUT she has said that would be the end of our relationship if I ever did. I worry that I think about it a LOT and as an only child am concerned that when anything does happen to her instead of grief I am only going to have anger - it wells inside me now though I do love her. I have health issues of my own and am a carer for my son and I have tried over the years to reason with her that if she loved me why would she leave me with all this but to no avail - the illness (or whatever) is larger and I resent that. Oops, sorry for hijacking but it was great to get off my chest and you are doing really well.
    Originally posted by AlwaysHappy
    Welcome, Always Happy, don't feel bad for ' hijacking' :-) Looking at my parents house has made me concentrate on making sure my children won't have to do too much when I go. My parents both admit they hoard but don't stop getting more stuff, so we're going to have a lot to deal with when they go.

    Good luck JOJO!

    Not had a very successful few days. Have been bringing more stuff into the house, ok, it's stuff that will be used but I've not really gotten rid of anything!

    Got 4 sets of sale bras n Knicks from debenhams. But with 2 sizes Knicks as I plan to lose weight after this week and next (OH off from work just now so it's 'holiday' time) the mon I plan to start (13th) is 2 days before the kids go back to school here so seems a good time to start my diet.

    I also bought clothes in the sale in Mr A's which I wouldn't have done if I hadn't gone for a nosey. (they were between 1-3 and I actually got a very good previously 18 cardi for 1). But I unnecessarily ordered eldest dd a gilet and polo top from joules just coz I liked them!

    Off caravanning the next two days, then working sat, off sun for an event, then have another week of OH off so hopefully I will be able to squeeze in a proper decluttering day
    Originally posted by sjprmc01
    Do you think it would help doing an audit of the girls clothes so you can see it in writing, what they've got, what you'd like them to have, etc? Then when you see the bargains you can check the list & say ' oh, DD1 doesn't need more skirts, but DD2 does need more tights'
    C.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z #37 - waterproof wearing cage customiser, chief of cable ties and duct tape

    It's me, DS1 (23), DS2 (15), and the lurcher, 1 hamster and DS1's leopard geckos.
    • alec eiffel
    • By alec eiffel 2nd Aug 12, 4:38 PM
    • 1,303 Posts
    • 10,297 Thanks
    alec eiffel
    I'm not a hoarder, though of course I do have a home full of things I like having around - but they have to do the William Morris thing, and be useful and decorative. I've found that the more storage space you have (that thing so beloved of wardrobe makers and designers) the more stuff you ram into it. Remove excess (value judgment here) storage - in my case, a campervan and extensive shelves - and you can't keep things.

    I have to boast a bit - I went to France for 9 days with one small carry on pocketed bag (Ryanair) and had three rolled up dresses, underwear, small toiletries, swimming costume and flipflops, and wore trousers, t shirt, cardigan and trainers - no problem. Didn't get to wear the swimming costume
    Originally posted by susyrosy
    I agree with you.

    One issue that I have with storage now is that lots of it is pretty much single use, a shelf or a box can be used for lots of things, but a multi compartment, teeny box, segmented thing isn't flexible in the same way. Anything that can't be used in different ways will almost certainly lead to hanging on to things for longer than needed because they have a home or will create a problem in itself as it doesn't do the job it was originally used for - when interests, life or size of stuff changes. Finally the thing is a white elephant as it should be used because it "storage" but it's inappropriate but there's guilt about getting rid of it because we paid good money for it...
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 2nd Aug 12, 6:03 PM
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    GreyQueen
    Evening all.

    Friend and neighbour SuperGran came around to collect the 3 cardboard boxes which I'd nabbed for her on my way home from work. She'd asked me to look out for some as she is in the process of emptying out her kitchen and boxing everything up as the kitchen is being completely replaced by her LL. She hasa start date and is working on the project a little each day.

    Now, SG is a real neatnik and positively spartan but I have never seen the inside of her kitchen cupboards but don't imagine that they'd be hell-holes of clutter. But even she admits that she is finding stuff which, on balance, can be rehomed. Some of it is going to a church jumbly this Saturday and some will be offered to the charity shop.

    One thing she has found and won't be returning to the new kitchen are several tureens. Not a lot of use in a single person household where other persons are fed once in a blue moon. They are family things but there is no great emotional attachment to them.

    SG was musing aloud on tureens. Does anyone use them in the twenty-first century? Would anyone even want them secondhand? What do the rest of you think? Are you the chatelaine of long-unfashionable items of domestic paraphenalia?

    The other month, I found out why fish knives were considered to be lower-class, something I was aware of but didn't understand. Apparently, it is because families of quality had silver which dated back to at least the Georgian period and fish knives came in later, so the mere presence of them in your silver revealed you as nouveau riche. And probably in Trade. Considering that I'm resolutely common and the Family Silver is limited to one egg cup and an apostle spoon, I'm not sure why I'm interested, but there you go.

    The things you learn, eh? Back when Trivial Pursuit was fashionable, no one would ever play against me twice; got a head full of random stuff.

    If the mood strikes, I may venture into the Undersink Cupboard.......cover me, ladies, and send back-up if I'm not back in a week...............
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

    • penguin83
    • By penguin83 2nd Aug 12, 9:14 PM
    • 4,787 Posts
    • 13,105 Thanks
    penguin83
    Hi everyone I was wondering if I could join you please. I have been reading this thread for a while and now need to dive in! My house is beyond a joke now. I am not a naturally tidy person which doesn't help but it is at the point where I can't relax in any room. Something someone said earlier in the thread about the clutter creating 'visual noise' struck a chord with me. I feel so on edge and I am not a good sleeper and I am sure it is all linked in.

    To start with I have emptied a quarter of one of the bedrooms which has pretty much filled the living room. My reasoning is that I will sort it when it is in my living room as I can't ignore it. My living room is now a tip and the room has so much more in it. Quite overwhelming really but onwards and upwards. xx
    Pay Debt by Xmas 16 - 0/12000
    There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.
    • Mayflower10cat
    • By Mayflower10cat 2nd Aug 12, 10:31 PM
    • 1,117 Posts
    • 2,055 Thanks
    Mayflower10cat
    Having become far more aware that I/we all have too much 'stuff' and being faced with significant Birthday of very dear friend who leads a pared down lifestyle.... I've had a really hard couple of weeks trying to buy a few presents for her that she'll like and that she'll actually use. All her husband would say is she likes a small amount of very dark chocolate..... I went to a little local deli who makes handmade chocolates and ordered a small selection of their finest and darkest treats. Then, I was buying a birthday card from another little gift shop and the lady owner happened to mention they were selling off all their garden ornaments at cost to get rid before autumn..... My friend adores her garden so I ended up buying a lovely, tall copper 'flower' on a long stalk which had a gorgeous blown glass centre that she assured me would 'glow in the dark'. I tested it when I got home and yes, it was very sweet glowing in the cupboard under the stairs! Then today in a rather posh and well organised charity shop, I spotted a beautiful display in the window of pretty cups and saucers, all priced at 4. I snapped up a really sweet little coffee cup and saucer that I know she'll love as she really appreciates good coffee. I think we all have, within our homes and cupboards, lovely little pieces that would make perfect gifts - whether we give them directly or give them to charity shops or even Freecyle, everything has a home....
    • wannabe sybil
    • By wannabe sybil 2nd Aug 12, 10:57 PM
    • 2,727 Posts
    • 18,881 Thanks
    wannabe sybil
    Not a good day today. Nothing out, Lakeland order in, Book People order pending.

    Not likely to do much tomorrow - I am doing a dry run of little bear's trip to martial art's summer camp. I need to get him to an industrial estate in the middle of nowhere by 9am Monday.

    Not likely to do much at the weekend. OH is having a hard time at work, so fuss required. Also little bear will be shattered.

    Might manage some stuff Monday - I should have one or two hours spare, but I don't know if I will feel like filling them with anything but sleep.

    Also ironing has reached critical mass and will be assessed by Health and Safety if I don't get some inroads made.

    GreyQueen - undersink cupboard of doom. Last time I did that (some time ago, it was scary) I looked at all the stuff and realised that there was more cleaner than cleaning, I was never going to use half of the stuff in its useful lifespan and tipped a load down the drain. On the other hand, I once got a steal on some Fairy Liquid and it blocked up my undersink for ages, but it got used in the end.

    Hugs to all, celebrate any achievement and good luck!

    Edited to add - Mayflower10cat - you sound lovely with the thoughtful gifts. I hope I am like that - I will spend hours and hours for the right gift, but I am stingy with the pennies! I would rather have a gift that took thought and perhaps time than anything else.
    Ankh Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons - don't let my flame go out!
    • GreyQueen
    • By GreyQueen 3rd Aug 12, 9:20 AM
    • 12,227 Posts
    • 235,372 Thanks
    GreyQueen
    Hi everyone I was wondering if I could join you please. I have been reading this thread for a while and now need to dive in! My house is beyond a joke now. I am not a naturally tidy person which doesn't help but it is at the point where I can't relax in any room. Something someone said earlier in the thread about the clutter creating 'visual noise' struck a chord with me. I feel so on edge and I am not a good sleeper and I am sure it is all linked in.

    To start with I have emptied a quarter of one of the bedrooms which has pretty much filled the living room. My reasoning is that I will sort it when it is in my living room as I can't ignore it. My living room is now a tip and the room has so much more in it. Quite overwhelming really but onwards and upwards. xx
    Originally posted by penguin83
    Hello and welcome, hun. It was me who wrote about visual noise, among others.

    I have ME and tire easily and find too much stimuli overwhelming. I don't mean to imply that I spend my days in a darkened room with the smelling salts at hand, I go out to work and lead a relatively-normal life, but I can't stand a lot of clutter.

    Howsomever, I am also not one of life's naturally-tidy people and my flat is titchy.

    If I can make a little suggestion, how do you feel about establishing calm and order in the bedroom which you use yourself, first of all? If it helps you sleep better, that would make everything else in your life better, too. One trick is to try dragging everything out and do a really deep clean. I'm not implying that you're a mucky puppy btw! It's just bedrooms can get very dusty almost unnoticed and freshening up, washing the curtains or blinds etc can help the quality of your rest.

    Once you've given it a good go with the vac, put you stuff back little by little. If something is a bit hmmmmnnnnn? perhaps you could park it elsewhere and see if you need it at all?

    I find it very helpful to establish order on some flat surfaces. Some women I know have a house rule that after food prep nothing, and they mean nothing, sits on the worksurfaces. Even a cabinet or tabletop which is uncluttered is such a morale-booster. Best of luck and keep posting, please.

    Ah, the Washing Up Liquid Mountain.......oh yes, have one of those, in fact was retrieving a bottle this morning. I thought I was down to 3 bottles under there but there seems to be a bottle of Ecover which is MIA. I plan to drag the contents out one rainy day soon and find it. I have told myself that I'm not allowed to buy any more WUL until I'm at least half way down the last bottle but am already feeling a bit anxious with only 3 to use. And I'm 5 mins walk from the blinking shop.
    Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.
    John Ruskin
    Veni, vidi, eradici
    (I came, I saw, I kondo'd)

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