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  • FIRST POST
    npsmama
    OS marital ethical dilemma
    • #1
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:22 PM
    OS marital ethical dilemma 9th Mar 07 at 2:22 PM
    Our veg box contains some gorgeous aubergines...yum!

    But DH claims he does not like aubergines bc his DAD (not HIM) felt ill after eating some in 1985...since then aubergines have been delcared highly toxic in my IL family.

    For the record, when we first met, DH never touched anything containing the slightest bit of orange in it bc (apparently) it 'brings on his DAD's arthritis' (apparently this doesn't not apply to orange marmalade of which the whole family eats copious amounts :confused: ). Back then I asked DH why he didn't eat oranges. He repeated the bit about his dad. So I asked again why HE didn't eat oranges.
    DH now wolfes oranges down and is always complaining I don't buy enough. :rolleyes:

    Would it be terribly unethical of me to make aubergine and chickpea casserole for dinner and not tell him about the 'mystery' ingredient (assuming I peel it I don't think he would spot it)?
    Otherwise I'll be eating aubergines all week and besides....I've got some chickpeas left over from yesterday that need eating up...


    Actually do you know what is REALLY tempting??
    To make chickpea and aubergine casserole for my ILs tomorrow...they're such a pain in the proverbial with a huge long list of food fads (of which only one is an actual allergy). To give you an idea these people actually ring up with a list of foods they don't want to eat. Once they sent me a letter with a list of unwanted foods! Honestly how many people do you know who object to spaghetti??? Reason: 'It goes to the back of my throat.' Solution: well, don't take such massive mouthfuls then. *sigh*

    Last edited by Former MSE Natasha; 13-03-2007 at 1:32 PM.
    "Finish each day And be done with it.
    You have done what you could.
    Some blunders and Absurdities have crept in.
    Forget them as soon as you can."

Page 1
    • angchris
    • By angchris 9th Mar 07, 2:28 PM
    • 1,159 Posts
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    angchris
    • #2
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:28 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:28 PM
    make it and see if he notices if he asks what it is say its chickpea surprise and dont tell him till after he`s eaten it what`s in it
    proper prior planning prevents p!$$ poor performance!
    Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money
    quote from an american indian.
    • V.Lucky
    • By V.Lucky 9th Mar 07, 2:45 PM
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    V.Lucky
    • #3
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:45 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:45 PM
    Sorry but this really made me rofl - I don't know how you have kept your temper with either him or especially his in-laws.

    I would just serve it up to your dh and would be tempted to do the same to the in-laws. One question I do ask is why do you still cook for them? I would either refuse to, or ask them to bring their own food pre-cooked and I would heat it up.

    But that's just me - I am mean!!
    • hilstep2000
    • By hilstep2000 9th Mar 07, 2:51 PM
    • 3,035 Posts
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    hilstep2000
    • #4
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:51 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:51 PM
    My ex-FIL is like that. He will only eat tinned peas when he's or home, or when he came to us, he'd eat frozen when in a hotel or restaurant tho! He also wouldn't eat my Sunday Roast, because he didn't like my gravy! I make it as my grandma showed me, meat juices, flour, veg water and a bit of browning. No one has ever complained before or since, but MIL only made hers with oxo (Thin watery stuff, my kids always refuse gravy in her house!)
    I was never so glad as when I got divorced! No more fussy in laws!
    I Believe in saving money!!!
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    • thriftlady
    • By thriftlady 9th Mar 07, 2:54 PM
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    thriftlady
    • #5
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:54 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:54 PM
    This really made me laugh too, thanks. I thought my OH was bad not eating cabbage or relatives of cabbage, but at least that wasn't through lack of trying on his mum's part.

    Anyway, aubergines are invisible to the naked eye and tastebuds if you do this. Bake them in the oven for about 40 mins (!!!!! with a skewer first). The aubergine should be all soft and wrinkled. Allow to cool, peel off skin and blend the flesh in a food processor. Combine it with minced meat, onions, spices etc to make spag bol (careful it doesn't stick to the back of your throat :rolleyes: ), meatballs, burgers, lasagne etc. The aubergine makes the meat really moist and enables you to use very lean meat without it drying up.

    try pierce with a skewer !
    • elona
    • By elona 9th Mar 07, 2:57 PM
    • 11,038 Posts
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    elona
    • #6
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:57 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Mar 07, 2:57 PM
    I would just serve it up and not tell him - otherwise he will decide he "feels ill!"

    Your in laws sound really rude and silly with it. No wonder there are people with eating disorders and people who genuinely do have problems with allergies are not taken seriously!
    "This site is addictive!"
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    • LandyAndy
    • By LandyAndy 9th Mar 07, 3:14 PM
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    LandyAndy
    • #7
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:14 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:14 PM
    Hi npsmama

    I sympathise with your FIL as I also find spaghetti goes to the back of my throat. Mind you so does everything else I eat it being the only route I've yet found from my mouth to my stomach.

    Or I could give you my recipe for apple and strychnine pie.

    LandyAndy
  • tr3mor
    • #8
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:25 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:25 PM
    Just feed it to him, he won't even notice.

    I'd also tell his parents where to go. If someone's eating at my table they'll like what they're given .

    Fussy eaters drive me mad.
  • rach
    • #9
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:30 PM
    • #9
    • 9th Mar 07, 3:30 PM
    do it do it do it

    i hid some quorn in my OHs chilli last week, i didn;t need to, just felt like being devious
    Mum to gorgeous baby boy born Sept 2010
    • Mr Proctalgia
    • By Mr Proctalgia 9th Mar 07, 4:09 PM
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    • 818 Thanks
    Mr Proctalgia
    My kids refused point blank to eat Aubergines when little, so one day they had "Moussaka" which by some miracle had changed into Lasagne that was made with "potatoes" as we had run out of Lasagne sheets. After that they were fine about it .

    Also No2 son hated mushrooms but loved Champignons :confused:
    • sooz
    • By sooz 9th Mar 07, 4:25 PM
    • 4,505 Posts
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    sooz
    i had some lovely aubergine fritters last week...with a sort of tempura batter. peel the skin off and tell him they are crisps/potato/a new variety of sweet potato.
    • Roz_V
    • By Roz_V 9th Mar 07, 4:26 PM
    • 1,149 Posts
    • 3,268 Thanks
    Roz_V
    i hid some quorn in my OHs chilli last week, i didn;t need to, just felt like being devious
    Originally posted by rach
    I do this - OH will eat anything which is no challenge at all, so I like to "hide" stuff...

    OP - just feed him the aubergines and tell him a few days after (when he can't suddenly feel "ill"
    • VickyA
    • By VickyA 9th Mar 07, 4:29 PM
    • 4,411 Posts
    • 21,421 Thanks
    VickyA
    My DH doesn't like aubergines or courgettes - he claims. He always takes them out of food........ However, when I make a veggie pasta sauce or veggie lasagne (as I am doing this weekend), then he wolfs it down and declares that they're "not that bad afterall". Admittedly, hidden with other tastes.........
    SPC 8 #153 975.71 #9 881.44 #10 961.13 #11 782.13 declared
    • joannasmum
    • By joannasmum 9th Mar 07, 4:51 PM
    • 1,142 Posts
    • 9,397 Thanks
    joannasmum
    My MIL has a long list of thing that apparently my DH doesnt like including most veg. Its funny really as the only thing I find that he really doesnt like is her cooking . I'd go for it what he doesnt know wont hurt him.
  • Catmeister
    npsmamma you are a saint

    It has really put my ILs into perspective! Have you considered supplying your own list of no no foods? Taste of own medicine and all that?!

    Re the aubergine, make something yummy with it, then invite the ILs round so that everyone has some. Prob best if MIL and FIL never find out, but your DH should be able to forgive, and might even thank you for making him embrace a new food!

    Edit: On rereading your post, that was your suggestion!

    Doitdoitdoit
    Last edited by Catmeister; 09-03-2007 at 5:05 PM.
    If you don't have anything nice (or constructive) to say... DON'T SAY IT!
    • Bargain Rzl
    • By Bargain Rzl 9th Mar 07, 5:25 PM
    • 6,174 Posts
    • 21,392 Thanks
    Bargain Rzl
    My MIL has a long list of thing that apparently my DH doesnt like including most veg. Its funny really as the only thing I find that he really doesnt like is her cooking .
    Originally posted by joannasmum


    All through my childhood I thought I didn't like beef. The trouble was, we never ever had it at home (our Sunday roasts were always lamb, pork or chicken, for some reason - presumably I ate mince, but ddin't associate this at the time with being beef). My only experience of beef, therefore, was (a) stews cooked by my Granny, and (b) school dinners.

    Nuff said

    I love the stuff now!
    Operation Get in Shape
    MURPHY'S NO MORE PIES CLUB MEMBER #124
    • celyn90
    • By celyn90 9th Mar 07, 5:40 PM
    • 3,225 Posts
    • 15,221 Thanks
    celyn90
    do it do it do it

    i hid some quorn in my OHs chilli last week, i didn;t need to, just felt like being devious
    Originally posted by rach
    glad I'm not the only one that does this! Ex-OH used to eat alot of stuff he "didn't like". It was really hard to cook sometimes, and it was not like I ever got an offer of help. I sympathise with people not liking things, but you can't pre-judge until you've tried it.

    You could make it the day before, and ask your DH to taste it as a trial run when you're cooking (not mentioning any ingredients). If he thinks the in-laws would like it then its fine... :rolleyes: I agree with Catmeister though, what MIL and FIL don't know can't hurt you. It's difficult to reason with people sometimes, especially if it's so irrational.

    Good luck with your dinner (and please may you post the aubergine and chickpea recipe if you have time, it sounds really nice!)
  • npsmama
    I got found out.

    DH is not amused.
    "Finish each day And be done with it.
    You have done what you could.
    Some blunders and Absurdities have crept in.
    Forget them as soon as you can."

    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 9th Mar 07, 9:06 PM
    • 20,425 Posts
    • 33,967 Thanks
    Spendless
    I got found out.

    DH is not amused.
    Originally posted by npsmama
    You can't leave it like that , we want to know the juicy details

    and so we can tell you how best to cover your tracks next time
    • THIRZAH
    • By THIRZAH 10th Mar 07, 12:13 PM
    • 1,393 Posts
    • 7,167 Thanks
    THIRZAH
    My FIL-a retired doctor- thinks that fruit is bad for you! The only veg he'll eat are frozen peas-MIL once phoned to ask how to cook some fresh peas that she'd been given.
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