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  • FIRST POST
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 6th Nov 11, 8:50 PM
    • 2,296Posts
    • 7,984Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!
    • #1
    • 6th Nov 11, 8:50 PM
    We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight! 6th Nov 11 at 8:50 PM
    Hi All,

    Like a lot of people on here I have been lurking on this site as a watcher for a number of years and during this time I have also watched our finances spiral out of control. Today I have had my LBM and oh boy could I cry.

    I have just done our SOA (which I will post once I've got all the info present and correct). Without the morgage I think we owe approx 30K, we've run out of money this week and have still got to pay out £350 before Thursday (all direct debits), this shortfall has been caused by my OH changing to weekly pay and all the bills come out in the first week on the month (well partly, the other reason is just that we owe so much). Will ask the bank tomorrow for an extension to the overdraft.......I can hear the 'I don't think so' all ready.

    Everthing is such a mess, our finances have spiralled out of control, I'm such a mess (could do with a complete makeover and dramatic weight loss), I can't keep up with the housework, the garden, the kids, Oh and I work full time too.

    I am truly hoping that we can get back on the straight and narrow and sort out our money problems. Then I will hopefully feel that everything else that needs sorting easier to tackle.

    Apologies for rambling on, I'm just feeling very alone and like a complete failure at the moment.
Page 169
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 26th Sep 18, 10:15 PM
    • 20,434 Posts
    • 33,982 Thanks
    Spendless
    That's a lot of nephews and nieces Alice. I have 3 and 1 is an adult and I'd like to stop but it's a bit awkward at the min - few more years and then both mine are adults and I'll say what's happening then.

    For the teens I might be tempted to do money only and leave the stocking filler for the younger ones.
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 27th Sep 18, 6:23 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Thanks Spendless, some of our nieces and nephews have joined our family through relationships, and I don't like to leave anybody out. Think I'm going to stick to just money...going to put the first of the money gifts in the envelopes this weekend...and get practical gifts for the younger ones.

    Upto 10NSDs for the month now. But another busy weekend coming up, haircuts and meal out for friends birthday.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 27th Sep 18, 5:33 PM
    • 816 Posts
    • 4,223 Thanks
    Onebrokelady
    Hi Alice,I've just caught up with your diary again as I haven't been here for a bit, well done on getting organised for Xmas,did you watch the programme that Martin Lewis did on the tv the other night abiut how to have a budget friendly Xmas,I haven't seen it yet but might watch it later
    I have to say that thanks to you I have made excellent use of my washing line lately,I've been very proactive about pegging out and even started to wonder about getting rid of my tumble drier the other day,I chickend out though in the endI'm thinking when my DD moves out I will get rid of it then as I won't have much washing and can hang it up indoors if the weather is bad
    I have however had my heating on,I'm a soft southerner now and can't handle the cold,I can't believe that I grew up with no central heating and lived in the Midlands then,I am too spoilt now
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £1,440 Total Now Owed = £16,190
    Emergency Fund = £300 Xmas savings = £400
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 30th Sep 18, 10:19 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Hi Alice,I've just caught up with your diary again as I haven't been here for a bit, well done on getting organised for Xmas,did you watch the programme that Martin Lewis did on the tv the other night abiut how to have a budget friendly Xmas,I haven't seen it yet but might watch it later
    I have to say that thanks to you I have made excellent use of my washing line lately,I've been very proactive about pegging out and even started to wonder about getting rid of my tumble drier the other day,I chickend out though in the endI'm thinking when my DD moves out I will get rid of it then as I won't have much washing and can hang it up indoors if the weather is bad
    I have however had my heating on,I'm a soft southerner now and can't handle the cold,I can't believe that I grew up with no central heating and lived in the Midlands then,I am too spoilt now
    Originally posted by Onebrokelady
    Hi, yes I did watch that programme, and could relate to it in so many way. I know once I mentioned about knocking friends kids presents on the head, they were like yes yes yes. That has saved some money the last few years. Also I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here but birthday party party bags. I knocked them on the head years ago, and then I noticed quite a few of our friends started to do the same.......apart from one or two but heyho, and my other birthday party tip is instead of presents asking parent that if they did want to give a gift then put a £2 coin on the card instead of a present. That way say you have 10 kids to the party the birthday child gets £20 to spend on a present of his/hers choice. I think this is great because it stops all the tat and takes the pressure off buying presents.

    Anyway I digress sorry . Love the pegging out, that's great. Even on a day like today I peg out. It's very dull and overcast but ive pegged out.

    Heating is still off here. I don't know about being made of tough stuff here think I just get used to sitting in jumpers and a padded gillet with the throw over me.

    Good luck with your debt free journey.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 30th Sep 18, 10:37 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Will finish September on 10NSDs. Not very good and have certainly done better. Oh well we go again next month.

    Heating still off.

    Yesterday had my hair cut and blow dried, went for a meal last night £40 spent.

    I have pegged out but struggling to get motivated to do anything else. Need to update spending diary/budget and make debt payments. Also haven't been food shopping and as you know I struggle if the fridge and cupboards aren't full of food. But the challenge I've been trying to do where we eat what's in the house hasn't been too bad. We've certainly used up a lot of bits and pieces.

    Right I need to go and do something productive so I'm off to sort out the kitchen. It's a fresh month tomorrow so going to work on the NSDs and building up the savings/emergency fund pot........and one other thing the 20p pot is over flowing.

    Hope everyone has a good day.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 4th Oct 18, 12:11 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    First 3 days of this month have been NSDs. Today I've paid works lottery and need to get petrol.


    Kids have been poorly over the last few days creating extra washing and cleaning. Have pegged out again today. Heating is still off. DS is meant to be having a sleepover on Saturday night, will see how he goes. He's OK now so fingers crossed.


    Trying to keep my positive pants on and keep on plodding.


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 9th Oct 18, 9:18 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Well the last few days have all been a bit of a blur. DS had a sleepover, fun but a bit chaotic. We've done a few jobs in the garden, and general housework.

    Spends have been a bit high. We bought pizza and chicken for us, DS and his friends on Saturday night. Also got some treats. Sunday I finally did what I call a proper shop. The list was quite long as we have been trying to eat out of the freezer and cupboard. Spent £37 for Saturday nights food and treats, and £95 on Sunday's shopping. spent £50 on petrol as well.

    Managed to get some new shoes off fleabay. They are brand new still in the box, cost £7 instead of £45 if I bought from the shop. They are the ones I wear to work so very happy that.

    Nothing else exciting happening, just plodding.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 14th Oct 18, 11:00 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Well what does a person do when they have 4 loads of washing to dry, and it is absolutely pouring with rain....with no end in sight.. Airers and heated airer here we come. Won't put the heated airer on until tonight though.

    Heating still off.

    Even rugby training has been cancelled this morning, so we're having a chill then I'm going to clean bathrooms and sort some drawers out. I keep finding stuff we can sell but I just don't seem to be able to get my selling mojo going.

    We did a big shop this week and apart from milk and fresh fruit we're doing ok. Normally at this stage I get a bit twitchy about wanting to go to the supermarket and get a trolley full, just so the fridge and cupboards are buldging with food. But I'm not going to go shopping today. I feel like I've turned a corner with the 'eat out of the cupboards/fridge challenge' that I've sort of been doing. Anyway it saves money and we are hardly starving so all good. Just hope I can keep it up.

    On the money front we are upto 6 NSDs. Yesterday we didn't buy any hot food from the sports club. That again is a result.

    Also savings are looking good so I'm hoping to offer the smallest debt a F&F. They have sent OH another letter with a lower amount so I, thinking I'll try an even lower one. I'm thinking we should to get a credit check done on both of us so we can see what debts are showing and the dates/amounts etc.

    I'm off to be productive and get some jobs done, now that I've eaten half a packet of chocolate covered malted milk biscuits with my cup of tea whilst typing this post....naughty naught.

    Hope everyone has a great Sunday, despite the weather,
    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 14th Oct 18, 11:17 AM
    • 4,489 Posts
    • 26,116 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I'm thinking we should to get a credit check done on both of us so we can see what debts are showing and the dates/amounts etc.

    I'm off to be productive and get some jobs done, now that I've eaten half a packet of chocolate covered malted milk biscuits with my cup of tea whilst typing this post....naughty naught.

    Hope everyone has a great Sunday, despite the weather,
    Xx
    Originally posted by Alice in Poorland
    I am signed up to Noddle, its free but you do have to enter debit card details so they can verify your address with your bank. They are linked to one of the big three credit agencies and completely legit.

    They update monthly but I have seen updates happen mid month.

    For some reason the weather always makes me less productive, I'm just off to eat a chocolate orange - well at 75p from Tesco you cant not buy them!!!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Workie Ticket
    • By Workie Ticket 15th Oct 18, 11:25 AM
    • 308 Posts
    • 373 Thanks
    Workie Ticket
    Try the Moneysaving expert credit club. It's on this website, it's free and it is powered by Experian which is probably the biggest of the 3 big credit reference agencies.

    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 17th Oct 18, 9:04 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    I am signed up to Noddle, its free but you do have to enter debit card details so they can verify your address with your bank. They are linked to one of the big three credit agencies and completely legit.

    They update monthly but I have seen updates happen mid month.

    For some reason the weather always makes me less productive, I'm just off to eat a chocolate orange - well at 75p from Tesco you cant not buy them!!!!
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    Try the Moneysaving expert credit club. It's on this website, it's free and it is powered by Experian which is probably the biggest of the 3 big credit reference agencies.

    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
    Originally posted by Workie Ticket
    Thanks Both. I shall look into these. xx

    75p EE an absolute bargain

    I haven't done any washing since the weekend, but with the weather looking good tomorrow I'll have done three loads to peg out tomorrow.

    We have a plumbing/central heating issue which we can't fix so we're going to have to get someone in. . Fingers crossed its repairable.

    Hearing is still off. NSDs are upto 8. I had to pay sponsorship money at work, so all for a good cause. Will have to go shopping tomorrow as we are out of a few items. Plus I need petrol.
    Will only get what food stuffs we need.

    We have a bit of a spendy weekend coming up. OH and kids are off to a big football match, and I'm going dress shopping with my friend who's celebrating a big birthday......for her not me. I'm hoping I can recycle an item out of the wardrobe. So having a bit of a day out with friends.

    Kids and OH need haircuts too.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 21st Oct 18, 9:47 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    What a beautiful morning.

    I've pegged two loads out and have another in the machine.

    Thursday I went to supermarket, spent £42. now I don't know if it's because we have been using lots of bits up, and things have run out but I seem to need to buy loads of food stuff at the moment.. I've decided the meal plan for this week, but it's lunchbox bits we need.

    Upto 9 NSDs, today should be another one....fingers crossed.

    I had a lovely day yesterday out shopping with my friend. There were some beautiful clothes. I always feel a bit not worthy when I visit these shops. I had lunch out and then we all went to friends in the evening. Kids and OH had their haircut yesterday too.

    Heating is still off. Plumbing issue going to cost around £170-£200, just waiting for another quote.. Needs must if we are going to have heating and hot water over the winter.

    This morning the kids have rugby and I'll do some bits around the house. Will get outside this afternoon, get the leaves up, sweep the drive etc etc. We're going to have a productive day.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 29th Oct 18, 3:58 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Even by our standards it's a bit chilly today. and yes we've had the heating. Just this afternoon mind. Anyway can't believe I haven't posted for a week. I was doing so well.

    Money update, fell off the wagon and ended up in a supermarket spend spend spending, total was £84. Of which 50% we didn't need or really want. Plumbing/heating issue sorted, cost £165. I've just paid monthly debt payments. Also paid for school photograph.

    NSDs only upto 11, which is pretty pants really.

    I'm off work for a few days this week. Haven't done much today. I'm so tired, we might have gained an hour but I feel like I've lost a week.

    Right I'm going to sort our credit check out.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 29th Oct 18, 4:23 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Credit report done. Score was 852/999 Fair. Barclaycard was listed defaulted with a balance outstanding of £4777. Also a late payment to E/E last October.....hmmm think I remember that.

    Need to get OH to do his.

    On a plus point our mortgage out standing is £38k.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • brizzlegirl
    • By brizzlegirl 8th Nov 18, 9:23 PM
    • 401 Posts
    • 2,659 Thanks
    brizzlegirl
    Great news on the mortgage and recovering credit score Alice. Keep plodding
    MFW..aiming to pay it off in 2022.. 2018 Savings Rate - Goal 40% [29%May 25%June 15%July 32% Sept & Oct] 2018 Income Goal £100/£750 November Goals: AFDs 11/25; Decluttering 02/60; LSDs 04/10; NSDs 01/10 Exercise 01/15 12k steps per day pls Aiming to be a true Frugalista!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 10th Nov 18, 8:07 AM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Thanks brizzle.x

    I've been a bit absent lately....RL sucks. A number of things have got to me over the last week or so. OH is driving me crazy. I don't know why I let him get to me, I know what he's like. I dont want to turn this diary into a woe is me diary and it being all my OH is a pain in the backside story. But unfortunately that is the truth...he is.

    He can be the funniest, hardworking (he does work hard at work), humorist ever but he has this other side to him. It's a side that other people done see. To the outside we must seem that everything is hunky dory. He can be great company, he's popular, we have a great social life but at home and within our relationship he is so frustrating. It is like he doesn't care.....although he says he does. I have written about the fact that he doesn't want to deal with the money side of things. He's just not interested. Now is that because it doesn't directly effect him? He never normally goes without the things he needs, he's still does his own social activities, squash, football etc etc. I think my only own social activity is having my haircut.

    We do have a good time when we are out with friends. I can't remember that last time we went on a 'date night'. Maybe that's the problem. I know I put barriers up as he has hurt me very badly over the years with his antics, and yes I have stayed with him for the kids and it was the easier option (please don't judge).

    Maybe he is ill. Maybe I'm doing him an injustice. Or maybe I should just shut up and get on with it. It can a lonely journey when you are trying to keep everything and everybody on the straight and narrow, and I think today I just feel sad, sad but greatful for what I have even though it isn't necessary how I would want thing to be.(does that even make sense?).

    This post isn't a rant it's just me getting things off my chest. I wouldn't speak to anybody in RL as I feel that would be me admitting I'm failing at life.

    Anyway back to the main purpose of this diary/journey. On the money front we haven't had a good week. Take outs on more than one occasion this week. Two silly top up shops in which I purchased totally unnecessary food stuffs. On plus front I've doubled up my n3ctar points end have £100 to spend.

    NSDs have been few and far between, and I've just felt a bit out of control this week.

    This morning we have sports club. I'm helping in the kitchen so free bacon sandwiches for us. Tonight I'm off to watch my nieces in a show.

    I haven't done any washing to peg out as according to the forecast tomorrow is the better day, although it looks bright out there at the moment. I haven't pegged out at all this week.......maybe that's what's wrong with me.

    Hope everyone has a great day.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 10th Nov 18, 10:09 AM
    • 4,628 Posts
    • 13,978 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Sorry to hear you're finding it tough at the moment Alice. Your oh sounds frustratingly impossible! In the "old days" when there were no bank or credit cards it would have been easier to control the cash flow as with cash it's gone when it's gone. These days I guess your oh can just spend on his own activities and let you manage the fall out. It does sound as if you are the responsible adult in your relationship!
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • PinotGrigio41
    • By PinotGrigio41 10th Nov 18, 11:22 AM
    • 4,191 Posts
    • 20,849 Thanks
    PinotGrigio41
    Hey Alice,


    I'm not around much these days as you know but I have just seen your post from this morning and didn't want to read and run .



    I'm so sorry you are finding things so tough right now....but one thing you most definitely aren't doing is failing at life, please don't ever think that. Just look at everything you have done / sacrificed for your family. I also very much doubt that anyone on here would judge you for the decisions you have made.



    This journey is a long hard, bloody exhausting one without RL throwing up challenges along the way.



    You are doing amazingly.

    Take Care of yourself


    Mrs PG xxxx
    LBM July 2011 - Finally took control Nov 2011 DFD Sometime in the distant future !
    Total debts Nov 2011 £96796.75
    Total Debts Nov 2018 £26326.96
    Cleared Nov 2018 £70469.79

    Emergency Fund / Rainy Day - £1000 . DMP Mutual Support Thread 428
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 11th Nov 18, 9:02 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Sorry to hear you're finding it tough at the moment Alice. Your oh sounds frustratingly impossible! In the "old days" when there were no bank or credit cards it would have been easier to control the cash flow as with cash it's gone when it's gone. These days I guess your oh can just spend on his own activities and let you manage the fall out. It does sound as if you are the responsible adult in your relationship!
    Originally posted by Verbatim
    V, that is how I feel. When we've had words and I've told him he needs to grow up his answer is always 'I know'!! It's funny because he had times in his life when he's been solely responsible for his finances...before he met me, and he coped perfectly fine. I actually don't think he'll ever change. There was a diary on here about a lady who once the debt had been paid was leaving her husband. I don't know if it would come to that, I have thought about it.

    Well I shall just keep plodding. Thanks v.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 11th Nov 18, 9:11 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 7,984 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Hey Alice,


    I'm not around much these days as you know but I have just seen your post from this morning and didn't want to read and run .



    I'm so sorry you are finding things so tough right now....but one thing you most definitely aren't doing is failing at life, please don't ever think that. Just look at everything you have done / sacrificed for your family. I also very much doubt that anyone on here would judge you for the decisions you have made.



    This journey is a long hard, bloody exhausting one without RL throwing up challenges along the way.



    You are doing amazingly.

    Take Care of yourself


    Mrs PG xxxx
    Originally posted by PinotGrigio41
    Thank you Mrs PG.

    It is tough, most of the time I can cope with it but you know sometimes I could just throw it all up in the air and say that's it I've had enough. I will keep plodding for my own sanity and for kids. I do love OH but he is so so frustrating.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1102,Bcard2 £4775, C@ptl £2540 ,Ybank £3520,Virgin/MBNA £0,YB1 £0, S@ntader £0, Bcard loan £0,
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
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