Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 6th Nov 11, 8:50 PM
    • 2,220Posts
    • 7,844Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!
    • #1
    • 6th Nov 11, 8:50 PM
    We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight! 6th Nov 11 at 8:50 PM
    Hi All,

    Like a lot of people on here I have been lurking on this site as a watcher for a number of years and during this time I have also watched our finances spiral out of control. Today I have had my LBM and oh boy could I cry.

    I have just done our SOA (which I will post once I've got all the info present and correct). Without the morgage I think we owe approx 30K, we've run out of money this week and have still got to pay out £350 before Thursday (all direct debits), this shortfall has been caused by my OH changing to weekly pay and all the bills come out in the first week on the month (well partly, the other reason is just that we owe so much). Will ask the bank tomorrow for an extension to the overdraft.......I can hear the 'I don't think so' all ready.

    Everthing is such a mess, our finances have spiralled out of control, I'm such a mess (could do with a complete makeover and dramatic weight loss), I can't keep up with the housework, the garden, the kids, Oh and I work full time too.

    I am truly hoping that we can get back on the straight and narrow and sort out our money problems. Then I will hopefully feel that everything else that needs sorting easier to tackle.

    Apologies for rambling on, I'm just feeling very alone and like a complete failure at the moment.
Page 160
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 4th Mar 18, 1:30 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    We ventured out this morning, armed with a shopping list. Split over @ldi and sburys. Total spend £98. But that did include Mother's Day cards (more expensive from supermarket but I'd forgot to get them when I went to the card shop, and we would of had to pay to park so balances it out a bit), Mother's Day presents, water filters (which were half price), store cupboard stuff and other non foodie items - shoe insoles and toiletries. Also had to get coffee and washing up liquid. So when I break it down it is still a lot but all accounted for.

    i took cash out to pay for kids bus, OHs squash game, £10 birthday gift. Unfortunately I will need to get petrol about Tuesday. Should of got it from supermarket yesterday.

    Really need to get some stuff listed on fleabay but really want to just chill on the sofa.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 6th Mar 18, 9:11 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    As I thought, I had to get petrol on the way home tonight. Yesterday was NSD 3.

    I also purchased new baby gift off not-on-the-high street today, Thanks for the recommendation brizzle and everyone.

    I've got a lot of things going on in RL, things that make me wish I'd not let things spiral out of control. I wish I'd done things differently and got my act together sooner......but I didn't and I haven't so I've just got to get on with things , and get everthing put right as soon as I can.

    This isn't an 'I feel sorry for myself' post. Just me wishing I'd done things with our finances differently, and I'm shattered at the moment so that doesn't help. Everything seems so much more exaggerated when I need sleep. I do know I'm very lucky in other ways but perhaps I'm just feeling frustrated at the moment.

    I still haven't listed anything for sale, so I'm going to not mention it until I've got round to doing it.

    All DDs have now come out of the bank, and account is up to date. Just waiting for the next lot to be taken out of the account.

    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 6th Mar 18, 10:53 PM
    • 4,575 Posts
    • 13,604 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Keep going Alice. You!!!8217;ve done so well. I!!!8217;ve just noticed you!!!8217;ve updated your signature. With all that!!!8217;s been going over the last year you!!!8217;ve paid off loads. You must be a very strong woman.
    Night. V
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 9th Mar 18, 1:15 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Thanks V.


    Up to 4 NSDs. I called into the supermarket this morning on the way to work. DL has some friends coming round tonight (no sleep over......I don't know his friends well enough to have them overnight (please don't judge, we're trying to keep him on the straight and narrow so I've given him a bit of leeway by letting his friends come over. We'll be there but I just want him to earn some trust...if you know what I mean)). So purchased pizza, snacks for tonight, also go fruit, milk and other bits that we need. Spent £41.


    Paid works lottery, and OH had to get petrol this morning.


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 10th Mar 18, 7:40 AM
    • 20,140 Posts
    • 33,330 Thanks
    Spendless
    Yes, keep going Alice. I saw your thread pop up for years and years before I finally got round to reading and contributing to it. I've seen this happen before with posters who are long term/have a lot of debt. They seem to get to a point where all they can see is the road yet to travel and not how far they've already come. You'll get there.

    Totally understand about DL friends. You don't know enough about them yet. Think letting them come over for pizza etc but not sleep there is a good compromise.
    • Baileys Babe
    • By Baileys Babe 10th Mar 18, 8:29 AM
    • 2,242 Posts
    • 10,895 Thanks
    Baileys Babe
    I think DL having his friends to visit but not to stay is sensible. This way you can get to know the friends and DL and friends can get to know what is expected from them.

    You have so much going on already to take on DL as well just shows how amazing you are.

    Just remember children need boundaries to help them feel safe and as the adult it's part of your role to provide them.
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 10th Mar 18, 10:11 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Yes, keep going Alice. I saw your thread pop up for years and years before I finally got round to reading and contributing to it. I've seen this happen before with posters who are long term/have a lot of debt. They seem to get to a point where all they can see is the road yet to travel and not how far they've already come. You'll get there.

    Totally understand about DL friends. You don't know enough about them yet. Think letting them come over for pizza etc but not sleep there is a good compromise.
    Originally posted by Spendless
    Hi Spendless, I do feel like I've been on here man and boy. I've just got to keep plodding.

    Thank you for the support with DL. We know him because he's a relative......but we don't really know him, if you get my drift.

    Xx
    I think DL having his friends to visit but not to stay is sensible. This way you can get to know the friends and DL and friends can get to know what is expected from them.

    You have so much going on already to take on DL as well just shows how amazing you are.

    Just remember children need boundaries to help them feel safe and as the adult it's part of your role to provide them.
    Originally posted by Baileys Babe
    Thanks Baileys Babe, yeah we're treating DL as we do our own. Considering what he's been through he's not doing too bad but I feel that he could quite easily fall off the straight and narrow!

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 10th Mar 18, 10:30 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Last night went OK, I'm not 100% sure about DLs friends. One of them said they'd walk home but it meant going through the park. I said not a chance so ended up speaking to his Mom who said he'd be fine, but OH took him home. I wouldn't of slept if I'd let him walk home. . Also one of them smokes (only just 14). I'm try hard not to be judgemental but DL is so easily lead so we've got to be careful.

    In other news we had to do a loads of travelling today for the football. Spent £3.50 at the match. Had to get more petrol on the way home (to last the week...hopefully). Called into supermarket and butchers for food. We've got both sets of parents coming for lunch tomorrow, spent £76 in supermarket and £18 in the butchers but that did include food for next week as well.

    I refused to buy flowers in the supermarket, they were lovely but so so expensive. They've both got gifts, cards and will make cupcakes in the morning. See if I can get the kids to decorate them, not really their thing but we'll give it a go.

    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 11th Mar 18, 9:41 AM
    • 4,575 Posts
    • 13,604 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Have a lovely Mothering Sunday Alice. I think you!!!8217;re a saint taking on another teen. I hope you get child benefit for him and/or some other financial support.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 11th Mar 18, 7:39 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Hi V, thank you.

    At the moment we're not getting any financial support for DL. To be honest we never thought it would be for this long. Because my SIL and FIL are complete wastes of space (I'm being polite here) I don't know what's going to happen. :-(

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 11th Mar 18, 7:51 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    We've had a busy but lovely day today, but I do not know what is wrong with OH. He's so miserable and grumpy. Since everyone went he's hardly spoken to anyone. I shall be going to bed shortly at this rate and leave him downstairs.

    On a plus note I actually pegged out today, and it did dry quite a bit. Currently got the heated airer on just to finish it all off.

    OH seems to have lost interest in the 365 jar. He hasn't put any money in it this week. I'm going to sort my purse out in a minute, so will top it up. I just need to get bus money for the week sorted. OH is playing squash tomorrow night so need money for that too.

    Hope everyone has had a lovely day, whatever you have been doing.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 12th Mar 18, 6:04 AM
    • 4,350 Posts
    • 24,608 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Hi V, thank you.

    At the moment we're not getting any financial support for DL. To be honest we never thought it would be for this long. Because my SIL and FIL are complete wastes of space (I'm being polite here) I don't know what's going to happen. :-(

    Xx
    Originally posted by Alice in Poorland
    Without wishing to be too rude I expect they are quite enjoying having the Child Benefit and Tax Credits and none of the expense of a child.

    If you raised the issue of claiming the Child Benefit do you think they would demand for him to return home?
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 13th Mar 18, 2:42 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Without wishing to be too rude I expect they are quite enjoying having the Child Benefit and Tax Credits and none of the expense of a child.

    If you raised the issue of claiming the Child Benefit do you think they would demand for him to return home?
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant

    Hi EE, you're certainly not being rude. :-)


    I don't think they would demand him back. They can't cope with him (funnily enough we don't have any problems with him....touch wood) so they're not bothered. They've got the best of both worlds. I think he will go back, it's a difficult one because he should, because after all they are his parents but and I don't mean to sound righteous he has had such a terrible time with them, and at this present moment he is better with us.


    Mind you if my MIL tells me 'I'm doing such a good job with DL' in a rather pathetic patronising voice once more.........I might just lose it. :-/


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 13th Mar 18, 2:52 PM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    OH is a bit better. He went to play squash last night so we had an hour or so peace. hahaha.


    I only have 10p in my purse. I am going to try so hard not to get any cash out until Thursday. I don't need a cash so it really shouldn't be difficult! We will be a few days behind in the 365 pot but will soon catch up.


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 14th Mar 18, 9:25 AM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    What a lovely morning.........and I've pegged out. yay.


    OH had a call from Cabot this morning after he'd gone to work. They didn't know who I was and they weren't very discreet. Anyway they are calling him back after 7.30pm tonight. This sounds awful but I feel like leaving him to it, he doesn't know (and doesn't want to know) so I can't see how he sort anything out. :-(


    Hope you all have a great day.


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 16th Mar 18, 7:38 AM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Cabot didn't call.

    Last night we had a chippy tea as everyone had sports club. Cost £20 for 5 off us. think I'll mush my own peas next time.

    Yesterday was a NSD number 7. Today will get cash and pay works lottery, get petrol (both cars), and need a top up shop. Will also pay a bit more towards school trip. And I need to put towards two collections at work £10.

    Weather is horrible this morning, thinking kids footie will be called off tomorrow. The forecast is snow over the weekend....come on.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 18th Mar 18, 11:36 AM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Why is it when I'm trying really hard not to spend any 'extra unnecessary 'money, things keep cropping up?.

    Last night we had a take away with friends, £20, plus £7 towards drinks. Tomorrow night I'm at a ladies charity night. I can't not spend anything, so will keep it to a minimum and be practical.

    Yesterday the kids had football, stayed in club house after (to warm up!), spent £6.

    This morning I have woken up with a headache and feel a bit sick. Not alcohol related but think it might have something to do with me being so cold last night, I was shivering in bed. Also I'm still stressing about having a bit more money than usual in the bank. I'm trying so hard to keep spending to a minimum then things like takeaways happen.

    Anyway heating is on, kids and OH have all had breakfast. There are three loads of washing on the heated airer (it's not switched on yet). There is already a mahoosive pile of ironing which I just can't face at the moment. Kids are going to vac and dust their bedrooms. I just want to get back into bed......but I won't. I'm sure I'll start to feel better once the tablets kick in.

    Xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 19th Mar 18, 7:41 AM
    • 4,575 Posts
    • 13,604 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Hope you're feeling better this morning Alice.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • Alice in Poorland
    • By Alice in Poorland 23rd Mar 18, 10:28 AM
    • 2,220 Posts
    • 7,844 Thanks
    Alice in Poorland
    Thanks V.


    I've pegged out today. 3 loads on the line, love it. :-)


    Cabot called for OH this morning. Ggrrrrr.


    I didn't do much at all last Sunday and it just had a knock on effect all week, house needs to be sorted out. Monday I went to the Ladies night. Lots of lovely things, spent £17 on birthday present. Tuesday night I stood and ironed for 2 hours. :-( Wednesday night I did nothing after tea, just cleaned up and then flopped on the sofa. Last night went food shopping, spent £63. Also had to get petrol £30. Very rock n roll week. hahaha.


    We are up to 9 NSDs.


    The little emojis don't work when I log in at work....hmmm.


    xx
    DMP with CCCS started Jan'12 £34,906 Jan'13 £31,893 Jan'14 £26,836 Jan'15 £21,894 Jan'16 £16,839 Jan'17 £14,415 Jan'18 £12,938ish! Self managed from Jan'17
    Jan 18- Bcard1 £1126,Bcard2 £4775,Bcard loan £0, C@ptl £2565 ,Ybank £3595,Virgin/MBNA £326 YB1 £0, S@ntader £321, Bcard £1100
    DFD - Jan 2027 Nov 2018 Jan 2019 - DFD not sure at the minute!
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 23rd Mar 18, 12:58 PM
    • 4,575 Posts
    • 13,604 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Perhaps time to get some sharing of household chores going at your house Alice? No reason why you should do it all. Maybe stop ironing for everyone else. I think even your youngest are now able to learn how to iron? And certainly your OH is!
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,638Posts Today

8,195Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • It's the start of mini MSE's half term. In order to be the best daddy possible, Im stopping work and going off line? https://t.co/kwjvtd75YU

  • RT @shellsince1982: @MartinSLewis thanx to your email I have just saved myself £222 by taking a SIM only deal for £7.50 a month and keeping?

  • Today's Friday twitter poll: An important question, building on yesterday's important discussions: Which is the best bit of the pizza...

  • Follow Martin