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    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 7th Feb 11, 11:23 AM
    • 169Posts
    • 67Thanks
    I will get there - No matter what!!
    • #1
    • 7th Feb 11, 11:23 AM
    I will get there - No matter what!! 7th Feb 11 at 11:23 AM
    I have been lurking around the forum for a couple of weeks now and have found the advice and tips given to others so helpful and interesting.

    So I have decided to post my story. Please indulge me as this 1st one is a tad long.

    So last year, after being with my XH since I was 14 (22 years in total) and being married for 14 years, I found out he was having an A with a work colleague, who is now marrying, and we divorced in May. (He divorced me but that is another story). In addition, I was made redundant in August. Also, broke my coccyx, my wonderful grandmother died and I had a small car accident, not my fault. So all in all 2010 was not a good year.

    Having explained all that, the fall out was that I did not keep my eye on the ball with regards to finance. I missed payments, spent money I didnt have to mend my broken heart and also was left with some utilities bills from XH, two massive credit card bills in my name, some private school fees and of course a massive Solicitors bills.

    Had a wake up moment at the end of the last year, when my sister suggested I chat to the CAB who were very helpful. I have now completed a SOA with them and contacted all my creditors and make payment arrangments with them. Although I somehow still dont seem to be able to make it work and seem to be always short.

    I dont want to sound like a princess but I have never had to deal with household bills. Our jobs were clearly defined. Mine was the hosuehold and kids and XH was the finances. So this is something I am learning to do. Although quite scarey, also very empowering.

    Some of the DFW things I have been doing is:

    I have sold all my jewerly and that which has sentimental value has been pawned so hoping I will get it back.
    Have raided our cupboards and am selling all unneeded items on Ebay.
    Doing the groceries on a real tight budget and buying store brands.
    Little things like, making sure lights arent left on unneccessarily.
    Doing a couple of MS and also surveys.
    Not doing excess mileage and trying to group all erands together.
    If we do go out for a meal, always use a voucher or kids meals with free refilable drinks and then I dont buy my own.

    Anyway sorry for the long posting.

    I am absolutely determined to turn things around this year. I did a snowball calc and I should be debt free Aug 2014.

    Thanksf or reading.

    This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email

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    Last edited by Former MSE Lee; 15-02-2011 at 3:29 PM.
Page 1
  • Domino9
    • #2
    • 7th Feb 11, 11:33 AM
    • #2
    • 7th Feb 11, 11:33 AM
    Well done, you will get lots of great support and advice on this forum. Sounds like this year will be better than the last
    A Mortgage wannabe! 😄
    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 7th Feb 11, 11:55 AM
    • 169 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    • #3
    • 7th Feb 11, 11:55 AM
    • #3
    • 7th Feb 11, 11:55 AM
    Thanks. Sorry if I sound a bit sorry for myself - I dont mean to.

    I take full responsibility for my debt and really just want to get on top of it and move on.
    • dancingfairy
    • By dancingfairy 7th Feb 11, 12:07 PM
    • 8,961 Posts
    • 7,344 Thanks
    • #4
    • 7th Feb 11, 12:07 PM
    • #4
    • 7th Feb 11, 12:07 PM
    Sounds like a good start to the year. Also everyone here is here because they haven't got on top of their finances - many like you through lack of education so don't worry about that. The good thing is people on here will help and not make you feel like you are asking a silly question.
    Onwards and upwards
    Making my money go further with MSE
    How much can I save in 2012 challenge
    • curlytop12
    • By curlytop12 7th Feb 11, 12:37 PM
    • 1,094 Posts
    • 1,179 Thanks
    • #5
    • 7th Feb 11, 12:37 PM
    • #5
    • 7th Feb 11, 12:37 PM
    well done sorry about your awful time recently but it seems you are now determined to get your life back on track.i wish you lots of luck,and lots of advice will come your way vie MSE.
    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 7th Feb 11, 1:03 PM
    • 169 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    • #6
    • 7th Feb 11, 1:03 PM
    • #6
    • 7th Feb 11, 1:03 PM
    I signed up to quite a few survey sites. How often do I need to check them?? A couple of times a day or just once??

    • Yargo1
    • By Yargo1 7th Feb 11, 4:25 PM
    • 1,045 Posts
    • 3,762 Thanks
    • #7
    • 7th Feb 11, 4:25 PM
    • #7
    • 7th Feb 11, 4:25 PM
    Good luck Lea74. Like another poster said none of us have been on top of finances which is why we all on here..or else we helping someone we know in that situation.

    Not sure about surveys but sure someone who does will answer soon enough
    MFW 2012 No.148:1600 / 450.00
    Mortgage - 102,57.16
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 7th Feb 11, 4:35 PM
    • 20,979 Posts
    • 56,557 Thanks
    • #8
    • 7th Feb 11, 4:35 PM
    • #8
    • 7th Feb 11, 4:35 PM
    Hi Leah74
    I don't think you sound sorry for yourself at all.

    It must be hard (and scary) having to start to deal with finance-y stuff when someone else has always taken care of it.
    And that's not even taking into account what you've had thrown at you last year.

    But you sound like you're getting your head round things so well done for that.

    You might want to post your SOA on here to see if anyone can help cutting your bills, here's the standard MSE template:
  • elvis86
    • #9
    • 7th Feb 11, 5:18 PM
    • #9
    • 7th Feb 11, 5:18 PM
    Well done you! Sounds like you had a pretty rubbish year, but you should be proud that you've identified your money issues and resolved to solve them so quickly!

    Many others in your situation would've buried their head in the sand and spent years feeling sorry for themselves and getting into a bigger mess. Best of luck!
    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 8th Feb 11, 7:56 AM
    • 169 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    Sorry just gonna have a quick little rant!! Just found out that the reason that XH cant have our sons this weekend is because he is sunning himself around a pool in Dubai!!!!!!!
    This may sound like it makes me bitter but actually it has the opposite effect. I find these types of incidents motivate me even more to become debt free and independant and not rely on anyone financially. (especially not someone who he had an affair with just for her money)
    Hope you have a good DFW.
  • NewStart09
    Yes LOL, just add one more thing we have in common with each other

    Funny though, as the OH just dont seem to realise they will pay for it later when the kids dont want to visit them!

    You have the right approach, like you I am independent financially from my exOH and am seeking to better my life without him!

    Have a nice day!

    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 14th Feb 11, 6:53 PM
    • 169 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    Very frustrated!! I have my new budget set up and ready to roll. However just received a letter from my CC bank saying that they are terminating one of my CCs. About to scream.

    Back in December I sent in a letter with a SOA for the two credit cards I have with them. I then phoned to chat to them about it and was advised by one of their colleagues that I should just do a short term payment plan as I could afford it and then it wouldnt affect my credit rating in the long run. I phoned back a couple of times in December and again in January to confirm all the details. It seems that the one payment plan was set up but the other one wasnt. I guess having two CCs with the same company is too confusing for them. They say I defaulted on one card, however I know that I paid them both. I pay them both together and have dealt with them together.

    I even remember asking if I had to make a payment and was told no.

    Today I phoned and got moved around three different people and eventually spoke to someone who was not particullarly helpful and said I need to send in a letter.

    This is so annoying. I dont have all the dates etc I phoned as it was during the christmas period and I had also had a car accident and my grandmother had died so didnt note everything.

    Any suggestions how to get this sorted??
    • fleur38
    • By fleur38 16th Feb 11, 10:11 AM
    • 18 Posts
    • 31 Thanks
    sorry to hear of your difficulties and well done on your DFW resolution for 2011. sometimes when these horrible events occur, we come out the other side stronger people.
    somebody more knowledgable than me will be able to help you with the credit card problem, but in the meantime i did have a few DFW ideas that might help:

    - have you thought about renting out a room? do you have a spare or could the kids share for a while?
    - i started to be an avon lady a few months ago and it's working out well. you don't have to knock on doors, no outlay required and you can get free and discounted products for yourself. best of all you can choose the hours to suit you. if you want to PM me then i can let you know how it all works and how to get started if you like.
    - have you considered a 'house swap' to give you and your kids a free holiday (you pay an annual fee which was about gbp65 last time i looked)? intervac is a company that is well known and has been shown on tv but there are others too. you can swap in the uk or abroad.
    - do you have boys with short hair ? you could invest in a pair of electric clippers from argos rather than keep paying for all those back to school haircuts
    - instead of taking kids out have you tried getting them to invite friends over to play and for lunch/dinner or dvd and pizza/popcorn evening, sleepover etc? cook a basic pasta which they'll love and it will work out cheaper (and hopefully their friend's parents will be polite enough to reciprocate).

    anyway, just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement and hopefully at least 1 of the ideas above will be of use to you.
    Keep your pecker up!
  • Ihatecameron
    Well the first step you need to take to get out of debt is to get rid of credit cards and use debit cards instead.
    • dirtyepic
    • By dirtyepic 16th Feb 11, 12:58 PM
    • 485 Posts
    • 1,205 Thanks
    Hi! Massive steps so far - well done!
    Hi Lea74,

    I have just found you via the link on the MSE weekly email that I received today. (You're famous!!!)

    Well done on all you have achieved so far, you have taken tons of steps to get to the Debt Free goal that the majority of us are chasing.

    It's going to be a hard slog but please stick with it.

    I have found that keeping my diary up to date is a massive help. I just type and chunter on about all sorts of stuff that's going on, in work, at home, finances, my thoughts and feelings and it's great to look back on how things have improved or changed. I have had a few hurdles to jump and there's been tons of ups and downs!

    My dfd is currently 23 months but circumstances change and I know that this time next month I might be able to improve on that due to events currently ongoing in my life.

    You will receive fantastic advice on these threads, inspiration and make new friends. I love it. Whenever I feel a bit low I start to read another debt free diary and it spurs me on.

    Take care, stay strong and good luck. I will be popping in to keep up with what you have been up to

    aka dirtyepic
    [FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="6"][COLOR="Red"]DEBT FREE SINCE SEPTEMBER 2015
    • lornz23
    • By lornz23 16th Feb 11, 1:03 PM
    • 155 Posts
    • 2,259 Thanks
    Well done you for picking your self up! I really hope 2011 is a better year for you.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us x
    I am DEBT - FREE!?!?
    • Baldybear
    • By Baldybear 16th Feb 11, 1:12 PM
    • 1,647 Posts
    • 3,247 Thanks
    Lea, Just a quick reply, good luck with your journey

    With regards to survey sites, One Poll you need to check 2/3 times a day if you have time. The others usually send out e-mails when surveys notified so not too bad. I use Pinecone (great if you can get onto it) Valued Opinions, Toluna, Harris E-Panel, Springboard, MySurvey (was lightspeed) and Rewarded Opinions. Sure there must be more! If you arent signed up to any of these always worth checking the cashback sites as you can often earn cashback by signing up.
    Debt as of 6-5-18 8063.45
    • Lea74
    • By Lea74 16th Feb 11, 1:49 PM
    • 169 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    Gosh, thanks so much everyone for your input. Really didnt expect it. Your support is fantastic and it really helps when you are feeling so alone in a situation which, can be for some so stressful and humiliating.

    Good luck everyone.
  • glittermonster
    Just an idea - can u use your phonebill to work out when u called them?
  • primowino
    Hi, re your cc payments that the bank are messing you around with. What you need to do either on the phone or in a letter is make an official complaint. State clearly that 'I want to make a complaint about .......' and say ' it is causing me material distress and inconvenience' they then have to follow the proper procedure about complaints so (1) they should clear it all up to your satisfaction by the end of the day or (2) they have to assign a complaint handler to you and deal with the complaint until you ate satisfied, this should result in a letter to you which will also outline what rights you have to complain to the financial ombudsman should you still not be satisfied. Complaining to FOS is easy and user friendly so do nit be put off. I work in financial services and more people should complain to get their problems sorted out to their satisfaction. Always make it clear you are complaining. Look at the FOS website for further guidance if you need it! Good luck. By the way passing your complaint to FOS does not cost you anything, but it does cost the banks a fee per complaint, so do not be scared.
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