Hi everyone, hope you are well. Unfortunately I am not.

I had an appointment for signing on exactly an hour ago and I am not long back. I returned home in tears.
When I was called up to the desk the 'lady' behind it was extreamerly condecending and rude. She interrogated me and made me well up to the point where I was trying not to cry. She asked me where all the details of my job search were on the 'diary' I have to fill out. They were right under her nose - with dates.

Her: You're not doing very much. I don't see any information on the sheet.

Me: It's right here (I then pointed to the page) It's over the back aswell because there wasn't enough space.

Her: It doesn't look like very much. (There were six 'logs' if you like, that's what is asked of me every fortnight, and that is what I gave).

Me: What more can I do, i've wrote everything that i've done to try and find a job that I am asked. I wouldn't put any lies down, that's honestly everything I've done.

Her: I am not asking you to tell a lie. I'm just telling you it doesn't look like anything. What date was this? (She says pointing to a seven week old 'log'. It was actually my first one, so I didn't realise you needed precise dates at the time. I had just given an approxamte.)

Me: I don't remember, sorry. It was my first one I didn't realise I had to put them in at the time.

Her: You will definitely need to do more from what I can see. What date does that say? What papers do you look in? What websites do you go on? If you've actually been looking for a job you'd know.

I tried to answer her questions to my best but I felt really crap. She made me out to be a liar and it was frustrating, especially as I have been trying.

Me: I was on Dobbies when they were recruiting but they needed managerial positions only. I was on the Lipsy website to get a number to call in store personally. I handed in a CV but they told me they had everyone they needed at the time. I went to see a careers advisor and we were on Diret Gov together looking.

Her: If you don't do more this will affect your benefit claim.

Is that her threatening me despite the fact that I can't do more. I am scared because I need the money. After that she didn't even help to print out any vaccancy's for me. How am I supposed to apply for jobs when I don't have any to apply to - that's her job, she's supposed to help me with that! And she says I don't do enough and will have my benefit's taken away! Cheek. I even explained that I got a letter from a company saying they would like to keep my application for future vacancy's. I was pleased to hear that. But she in all honestly, rolled her eyes off of me. I don't see how much more I can prove to her I have been trying. The sheet even had things on it about me looking into working at the NHS. My aunt works for the NHS and said she would help me fill in applications and gave me the website.

I can't believe she made me feel that small after all i've done. Her tone wasn't even a pleasant one - it was very harsh. Quite nasty and definitely condecending. I sat there trying not the cry more than anything else. She didn't even let me see the computer screen to look at open vacany's. She basically sat me down, told me my benefits would be taken away if I did not do more and then told me to leave. Infact her lasts words to me were "That's it". And I left muttering thank you.

When my dad saw me as I came in the door he was alarmed and some what angry that I was upset. He phoned the job centre on my behalf to complain about the way that I had been spoken whilst looking for help and signing on.

I just felt like sh!t on her shoe. I am 19 and have suffered from depression and anorexia in the past. I already have low self esteem. Looking for a job is depressing as it is, without bats like her around. Her whole purpose is to encourage me to find work. I nearly told her to shove her sheet and her benefits up her hole. But obviously need the money badly - plus isn't that what she wants me to do.

I am waiting on someone to call back so they can speak to me directly. And I am really nervous.