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  • FIRST POST
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 1st Jan 10, 1:40 PM
    • 4,489Posts
    • 26,136Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 10, 1:40 PM
    Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ... 1st Jan 10 at 1:40 PM
    ………………into Debt Freedom!!

    Over the last few months I have read people’s diaries and got all motivated so I think the time has come for me to do my own diary.

    About Me

    I am 29, married to my DH - 30 and we have 2 children, DS - 13 & DD - 7 today!!!
    We live in a rented 3 bed house, we have 7 cats, 8 ducks, 1 goose & 20 hens in our garden. We also have 100+ chickens, 10 geese & 8 turkeys on a rented field (near our house).
    I work part time (2 days) and I also do voluntary work 2 days per week leaving 1 day for myself. DH works full time with normal hours 9 -- 5 (unlike before).
    I am a Debt Adviser so I should know better but at least I have empathy with my clients!!!!

    Debts

    Our debt situation has gradually got worse over the years, in 2004 we owed about £6000, now it is £23,000+. Lots of reasons for this include being frivolous, my DH has depression and buying things makes him happy so I have allowed the spending to get out of control. Part of the £23,000 includes 2 cars which we brought recently, total = £14000 so I guess if we didn’t have them we would have about the same amount of debt!!

    We have been very good with our credit cards lately and I have not used mine for over 6 months, DH used his to buy tyres for his car instead of using his bank account and now he does not have the money to cover the cost!! Grrrr!!

    My debts are all credit cards:

    Barclaycard - £7,354.66 – approx £4706.65 is on 0% until Apr 2010 and the rest is on 24.9%.

    Paypal - £631.21 – just finished promo offer and now at 17.9%

    Amazon - £2,321.62 – some at 15.9% and 6.9% life of balance.

    Abbey - £889.82 – 0% until April 2010

    Total - £11197.31

    My DH’s debts are all credit cards:

    Amazon - £5,540.63 – 6.9% life of balance

    Paypal - £1,276.13 – some at 17.49% and 26.47%

    Tesco - £3,261.83 – 0% until 23/1/10

    Barclaycard - £1,872.56 – some at 14.9% & 27.9%

    Total - £11951.15

    Grand Total = £23148.46

    The plan is to clear DH’s Paypal card asap and then balance transfer some of the credit cards with the mixed interest rates to make it easier to keep track of and of course I know that the lower interest is cleared first.

    Finances

    Up until earlier this year we used to have a joint bank account into which both our wages were paid and the bills would be paid from this. DH thought that he was restricted as we did not have spending money so bought things of Ebay with his credit card.

    We now have single accounts which our wages are paid into and we pay the same amount in to the joint account each month to over the household bills. We each have to pay our own credit cards bills, car expenses and pocket money. Child Tax Credit is paid into a seperate account and is used to pay the childminder and for when we are skint in all accounts.

    I do not agree with the above re division of monthly cost but DH will not have it any other way. To make sure I can afford my half I have to include Child Benefit and CSA as my income, however CSA has just decreased by £40 per week so I am short on my income every month. Before Xmas I read the calculations and I think they are wrong so I need to sit down and write a letter to CSA asking for a recalculation.

    This Year – 2010

    Things are going to change this year as we are moving house and having a relative move in. Fingers crossed we will be in our new house on 1st February and then the relative will be joining us at Easter. (This has numerous problems attached as other relatives are not happy about this and are causing a stir)
    We are not sure what we will do with our current house but we may buy it and then rent it out – stupid idea I know when we are in debt!

    I also hope that in 2010 our debts will reduce significantly.

    This Decade – 2010 - 2020

    In the next few years we hope to buy a smallholding so will need to get a deposit together.

    I would also like to visit this place: http://www.blesele.org/

    I love elephants, I collect elephant ornaments and when I went to Sri Lanka I rode on the back of one and fed some. I love elephants.

    I think the price is quite reasonable (if I wasn’t in debt) so this is another thing to aim for.

    The Plan

    House Move – I sent an admin cheque to the estate agents last week for £460 which will probably be cashed next week – this money is sitting in my bank account but it does mean that I am unable to pay my contribution to the bills at the moment.
    I assume we will need 2 months deposit, so need to also save £1300 within the next few weeks. (The reason this is a bit up in the air is because we are renting from friends but they have decided to go through an estate agents and we are not sure if they will follow usual rental protocol or give us some leeway)

    I need to have a good declutter of the house by end of Jan. I started yesterday with son’s bedroom and have listed items on Freegle which will hopefully be collected this weekend. Anything not collected can go to the charity shop on Monday.

    I also need to speak to RSPCA about rehoming some of my cats as we cannot take them all with us. 4 cats will need to be rehomed, 3 of these are brother/sisters and are quite wild – they will be stroked on their own terms but cannot be held or anything like that. The other one is a male kitten we kept from a litter in the summer but he keeps urinating all over the house even when there is a clean litter tray so he cannot come to a rental home with us.

    Debts/House Deposit & Costs - I will continue to sell items on ebay and this money will go into a spare bank account I have to be used for the House costs or towards debts.

    I have been doing Butlins Bingo, I have had 1 payout of £10 and I am currently up to £5.13 – must remember to scratch every day and twice on Sundays!!

    I have been doing surveys on and off for a few years but never on a regular basis (as proven by the transaction history on each account!!). Last night (because I am sad and did not go out, not really I never go out on NYE I prefer to stay at home) I logged into all my survey sites and got updates on all balances etc:

    Yougov – 4585 points (need 5000 to payout £50.00)
    Pure Profile - £18.20 (need £25.00 for payout)
    Lightspeed – 2475 points (can take a payout now)
    Global Test – 76 points (need 1000) (had payout just before Xmas)
    Valued Opinions – £5.75
    Opinion Bar - £7.38 (need £10.00 for payout)
    Harris Poll – 460 HIPoints (need 2500) (some removed as no surveys done within 6mths)
    One Poll - £4.05 (need £40.00 for payout)
    Ipoints – 1280 (converted some of these before Xmas)
    Rewarded Opinions – 995 points (need 2000 for payout)
    MyVoice - 545 points (need 2000 for payout)

    So I will make sure I do my surveys every day or every 2 days if pushed for time.

    If anyone knows of any more survey sites please let me know. (I used to be a member of Toluna but it did not seem worth it for the points, unless I am missing something and someone can give me some hints)

    I will also post every day on a brilliant thread called ‘Payment A Day’ - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2047605
    Basically you make one payment every day, no matter how small, to one of your debts or into savings. This money can come from money you have saved on your food bill, money you have raised by selling things etc. The total paid in 2009 was just under half a million - £500.000!!!!
    I have been doing this sporadically but need to concentrate and do it every day.

    I would also like to make special mention to a board on Motley Fool called Your Tomorrow Starts Today, it’s all about listing your goals for the month and trying to achieve them – sometime’s they may seem insignificant but to that poster they are a hurdle in life. If you need support every one there is willing to give it. Long term goals are an option but it’s all the little goals needed to get to the bigger ones.

    I have read Weezl74’s threads on the Old Style boards, I am part way through the 50p per day until Xmas. She is so inspiring and I wish to follow her lead and save some money on food this month. We don’t really have a food budget for this month as all spare money will be needed for house costs so I want to try and use most of the things out of the cupboard and fridge before we move –could be some interesting combinations.
    The chest freezer will not be coming with us, there is no room and it is on it’s last legs – luckily before Xmas I sorted it out so there is some party food, 2 turkeys and that’s about it – shouldn’t be too difficult to use up!

    I know what your all thinking by now – why doesn’t she stop waffling and get on with things!! – well it all starts here.

    Thanks for following me on my journey.

    EE
    Last edited by Eager_Elephant; 05-01-2010 at 10:23 PM. Reason: Realised also signed up for MyVoice!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
Page 84
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th May 18, 1:39 PM
    • 58,093 Posts
    • 239,332 Thanks
    beanielou
    Not too long hopefully.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 11th May 18, 1:53 PM
    • 509 Posts
    • 3,363 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Is he still going to view the house tomorrow, and are there any others in the pipeline?

    Hope you enjoy your holiday --try and put all worries aside and just relax and have a good time.

    ((((hugs)))) XX
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 11th May 18, 6:29 PM
    • 4,127 Posts
    • 35,355 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    And yet again our lives run in parallel...
    Hope you get him out sooner rather than later. And enjoy your weekend away!
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 11th May 18, 7:01 PM
    • 5,803 Posts
    • 41,144 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    How infuriating EE. He sounds a little child-like, as though he thinks you are responsible for looking after him. Stay firm and don't give in to his wiles.

    Enjoy your holiday
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = £17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th May 18, 7:24 PM
    • 58,093 Posts
    • 239,332 Thanks
    beanielou
    Enjoy your weekend
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 20th May 18, 5:57 PM
    • 4,489 Posts
    • 26,136 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I had a fab weekend and it was just what I needed.

    Unfortunately he did not view the flat as the estate agent did not come back to him (or that is what WS said). He allegedly had a viewing on Friday but says he cancelled it until Tues as his truck is broken and wont be fixed until end of next week so I am having to drive him to work (and DD to school)

    I also mentioned a property I had seen up for rent and we have driven down the street today and WS likes the area so he will allegedly call up tomorrow about it.

    This is all getting a bit tedious now - I think he is hoping I will change my mind but I wont.
    He told me today that if he gets on well with his life I will turn in to a bunny boiler and stalk him - I told him that if anyone stalks anyone it will be him with me. I told him that I would be really pleased if he does well.
    He then turned it around to what if he cant manage and he kills himself because life is so bad - I told him that it would be his decision and this whole situation has come about because of him and I wont accept any blame apart from it being my decision to end the marriage.

    True to form he has done his usual 'I am an adult and I can do what I like' - he changed the password on his bank account (which I was going to tell him to do once I had reconciled YNAB) and now controls his own money so he has been spending.
    Obviously it is not my concern but if DD moves in with him then he needs money to live on and pay the bills.

    Yesterday he also went and got a car on finance - apparently it will be affordable from September when he gets a pay rise!!!

    I haven't yet given him the money from his step-dad and I wont until I know for sure he is leaving and also only for 6 months rent up front although WS wants it all anyway......

    Things will come to a head by next weekend as DS finishes his exams and I feel we need to let him and DD know plus of course the wider world because at present only a few people know.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 20th May 18, 6:21 PM
    • 9,158 Posts
    • 55,177 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Glad you had a good time away. Sorry WS has continued to cause problems.

    I think you have been very reserved in calling him WS, I probably would have opted for something much worse .

    Hope telling the kids goes better than you expect Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in 2018 39/60
    Best win so far - holiday to Florida
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 20th May 18, 8:04 PM
    • 2,272 Posts
    • 14,082 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Great to hear your weekend away was just what you needed! I think you definitely deserved it!

    Keep strong EE. He will keep on with this emotional blackmail for as long as he can. But it just proves even more that you have been looking after three kids not two for all these years.

    Have a good week and hope all goes well with your talk with DD and DS.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 07/11/2018 - £1771.05
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 30
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th May 18, 9:00 PM
    • 58,093 Posts
    • 239,332 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad you had a good time away. Sorry WS has continued to cause problems.

    I think you have been very reserved in calling him WS, I probably would have opted for something much worse .

    Hope telling the kids goes better than you expect Xx
    Originally posted by please-let-me-be-lucky
    Agree with this. xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 20th May 18, 10:57 PM
    • 10,086 Posts
    • 50,246 Thanks
    Mooloo
    Be true to you EE.
    That's the most important thing.

    Mind you I am yo-yoing with my chap. It's not t.
    But how many times can we forgot !
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 21st May 18, 2:19 PM
    • 4,127 Posts
    • 35,355 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    You are doing fab. Keep at it, and leave him to his own mess.

    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 21st May 18, 6:47 PM
    • 5,803 Posts
    • 41,144 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I'm glad you enjoyed your break.

    WS sounds very manipulative. Do you think he will move out?
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = £17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 21st May 18, 9:21 PM
    • 6,334 Posts
    • 43,820 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hang on in there EE. He's being very childish. No doubt as this goes on you will realise more and more that you've made the right decision. We're all rooting for you xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £404.08
    Debt £2180
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund £4000/£10,000
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 21st May 18, 9:43 PM
    • 4,489 Posts
    • 26,136 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I'm glad you enjoyed your break.

    WS sounds very manipulative. Do you think he will move out?
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    He will definitely go - whether that is of his own accord or via a court order.
    I am hoping the former.

    WS is swinging between telling me he wont be able to cope to telling me that he is excited about getting his own place and how house proud he will be - shame he never did any housework here!!!

    He has opened a new bank account and was telling me tonight how he is going to run his finances - which is exactly how I have always run them for him so clearly something has sunk in.

    I am still reading my diary on here form the start - just to remind myself of what has gone on over the years.Not everything was posted on here but a lot was so I have a lot of memory jogging going on!!!

    He has a viewing tomorrow and one on Thurs - I have offered him my car for both days and I will get a lift to work (I cant have him pulling out for having no transport)
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 21st May 18, 10:18 PM
    • 58,093 Posts
    • 239,332 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope that WS's viewings go well.
    Good idea on car.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • allthe7s
    • By allthe7s 25th May 18, 10:12 AM
    • 116 Posts
    • 448 Thanks
    allthe7s
    Wow 8 years read!!! All on my phone too, my eyes hurt!

    Must admit there were points where I thought you would stay with WS and sometimes I thought you would make it work and other times I wanted to kick him up the !!!! myself lol

    You have done admirably the way you handle yourself and your debt and manage his finances too and throughout all of this you have raised 2 kids into (almost for DD) adulthood.

    Fingers crossed WS viewings are successful and I hope telling the kids goes as well as it can x
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 25th May 18, 2:51 PM
    • 509 Posts
    • 3,363 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Hope everything is OK EE?
    Hopefully he went to view the houses and found one suitable!

    You said you're telling the children this weekend, so I'm sending (((hugs))) and hoping that things aren't too fraught Don't let him put the blame on you, the kids are old enough to know the truth.. XX
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 25th May 18, 10:03 PM
    • 4,127 Posts
    • 35,355 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hope all is going ok with this EE. It's such a difficult time as I know only too well. We will both get through this even wiser and stronger than we already are.
    November in NY #20 NSD = 9 1 debt vs 100 days £328.51/£1685
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 26th May 18, 6:55 PM
    • 4,489 Posts
    • 26,136 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    allthe7's can't believe you have wasted hours of your life that you will never get back reading my diary!!

    Thanks everyone for your comments and support.

    WS looked at 5 properties this week and has fallen in love with a cottage (I guessed he would), the owner asked to meet him as well so he met her last night and she likes him. He has been to the estate agents today to pay the admin fee and they will do all their checks this coming week.
    If everything goes ok he will be able to move in next weekend.

    Unfortunately we have not been able to tell the kids yet, DD invited a friend to stay yesterday and she is still here now and doesn't appear to know when she is going home. I don't want to tell DD when her friend is here and WS is going away with work tomorrow morning and will be back Mon pm - I was hoping we would tell her together so we can answer any questions she has so it may have to wait until Mon and that's as long as friend has gone home.

    DS is out this weekend for his girlfriends birthday so I don't want to spoil their weekend - I will tell him as soon as DD knows.

    I also want to let my family know but cant do that until DD and DS know so its all a bit of a waiting game.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for August
    NSD - 9/15
    (up to 12/8/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 26th May 18, 7:06 PM
    • 5,803 Posts
    • 41,144 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    That's great news that WS has found a cottage he likes and even better that he's paid the admin fee. Just a thought, will he pass the credit checks?

    How frustrating that you can't tell DD yet. Please tell the DC the truth about the break up because it would be unfair if they blamed you for the break up.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = £17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
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