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  • FIRST POST
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 1st Jan 10, 1:40 PM
    • 4,357Posts
    • 24,709Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 10, 1:40 PM
    Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ... 1st Jan 10 at 1:40 PM
    !!!8230;!!!8230;!!!8230;!!!8230;!!!8230;!!!8230;into Debt Freedom!!

    Over the last few months I have read people!!!8217;s diaries and got all motivated so I think the time has come for me to do my own diary.

    About Me

    I am 29, married to my DH - 30 and we have 2 children, DS - 13 & DD - 7 today!!!
    We live in a rented 3 bed house, we have 7 cats, 8 ducks, 1 goose & 20 hens in our garden. We also have 100+ chickens, 10 geese & 8 turkeys on a rented field (near our house).
    I work part time (2 days) and I also do voluntary work 2 days per week leaving 1 day for myself. DH works full time with normal hours 9 -- 5 (unlike before).
    I am a Debt Adviser so I should know better but at least I have empathy with my clients!!!!

    Debts

    Our debt situation has gradually got worse over the years, in 2004 we owed about £6000, now it is £23,000+. Lots of reasons for this include being frivolous, my DH has depression and buying things makes him happy so I have allowed the spending to get out of control. Part of the £23,000 includes 2 cars which we brought recently, total = £14000 so I guess if we didn!!!8217;t have them we would have about the same amount of debt!!

    We have been very good with our credit cards lately and I have not used mine for over 6 months, DH used his to buy tyres for his car instead of using his bank account and now he does not have the money to cover the cost!! Grrrr!!

    My debts are all credit cards:

    Barclaycard - £7,354.66 !!!8211; approx £4706.65 is on 0% until Apr 2010 and the rest is on 24.9%.

    Paypal - £631.21 !!!8211; just finished promo offer and now at 17.9%

    Amazon - £2,321.62 !!!8211; some at 15.9% and 6.9% life of balance.

    Abbey - £889.82 !!!8211; 0% until April 2010

    Total - £11197.31

    My DH!!!8217;s debts are all credit cards:

    Amazon - £5,540.63 !!!8211; 6.9% life of balance

    Paypal - £1,276.13 !!!8211; some at 17.49% and 26.47%

    Tesco - £3,261.83 !!!8211; 0% until 23/1/10

    Barclaycard - £1,872.56 !!!8211; some at 14.9% & 27.9%

    Total - £11951.15

    Grand Total = £23148.46

    The plan is to clear DH!!!8217;s Paypal card asap and then balance transfer some of the credit cards with the mixed interest rates to make it easier to keep track of and of course I know that the lower interest is cleared first.

    Finances

    Up until earlier this year we used to have a joint bank account into which both our wages were paid and the bills would be paid from this. DH thought that he was restricted as we did not have spending money so bought things of Ebay with his credit card.

    We now have single accounts which our wages are paid into and we pay the same amount in to the joint account each month to over the household bills. We each have to pay our own credit cards bills, car expenses and pocket money. Child Tax Credit is paid into a seperate account and is used to pay the childminder and for when we are skint in all accounts.

    I do not agree with the above re division of monthly cost but DH will not have it any other way. To make sure I can afford my half I have to include Child Benefit and CSA as my income, however CSA has just decreased by £40 per week so I am short on my income every month. Before Xmas I read the calculations and I think they are wrong so I need to sit down and write a letter to CSA asking for a recalculation.

    This Year !!!8211; 2010

    Things are going to change this year as we are moving house and having a relative move in. Fingers crossed we will be in our new house on 1st February and then the relative will be joining us at Easter. (This has numerous problems attached as other relatives are not happy about this and are causing a stir)
    We are not sure what we will do with our current house but we may buy it and then rent it out !!!8211; stupid idea I know when we are in debt!

    I also hope that in 2010 our debts will reduce significantly.

    This Decade !!!8211; 2010 - 2020

    In the next few years we hope to buy a smallholding so will need to get a deposit together.

    I would also like to visit this place: http://www.blesele.org/

    I love elephants, I collect elephant ornaments and when I went to Sri Lanka I rode on the back of one and fed some. I love elephants.

    I think the price is quite reasonable (if I wasn!!!8217;t in debt) so this is another thing to aim for.

    The Plan

    House Move !!!8211; I sent an admin cheque to the estate agents last week for £460 which will probably be cashed next week !!!8211; this money is sitting in my bank account but it does mean that I am unable to pay my contribution to the bills at the moment.
    I assume we will need 2 months deposit, so need to also save £1300 within the next few weeks. (The reason this is a bit up in the air is because we are renting from friends but they have decided to go through an estate agents and we are not sure if they will follow usual rental protocol or give us some leeway)

    I need to have a good declutter of the house by end of Jan. I started yesterday with son!!!8217;s bedroom and have listed items on Freegle which will hopefully be collected this weekend. Anything not collected can go to the charity shop on Monday.

    I also need to speak to RSPCA about rehoming some of my cats as we cannot take them all with us. 4 cats will need to be rehomed, 3 of these are brother/sisters and are quite wild !!!8211; they will be stroked on their own terms but cannot be held or anything like that. The other one is a male kitten we kept from a litter in the summer but he keeps urinating all over the house even when there is a clean litter tray so he cannot come to a rental home with us.

    Debts/House Deposit & Costs - I will continue to sell items on ebay and this money will go into a spare bank account I have to be used for the House costs or towards debts.

    I have been doing Butlins Bingo, I have had 1 payout of £10 and I am currently up to £5.13 !!!8211; must remember to scratch every day and twice on Sundays!!

    I have been doing surveys on and off for a few years but never on a regular basis (as proven by the transaction history on each account!!). Last night (because I am sad and did not go out, not really I never go out on NYE I prefer to stay at home) I logged into all my survey sites and got updates on all balances etc:

    Yougov !!!8211; 4585 points (need 5000 to payout £50.00)
    Pure Profile - £18.20 (need £25.00 for payout)
    Lightspeed !!!8211; 2475 points (can take a payout now)
    Global Test !!!8211; 76 points (need 1000) (had payout just before Xmas)
    Valued Opinions !!!8211; £5.75
    Opinion Bar - £7.38 (need £10.00 for payout)
    Harris Poll !!!8211; 460 HIPoints (need 2500) (some removed as no surveys done within 6mths)
    One Poll - £4.05 (need £40.00 for payout)
    Ipoints !!!8211; 1280 (converted some of these before Xmas)
    Rewarded Opinions !!!8211; 995 points (need 2000 for payout)
    MyVoice - 545 points (need 2000 for payout)

    So I will make sure I do my surveys every day or every 2 days if pushed for time.

    If anyone knows of any more survey sites please let me know. (I used to be a member of Toluna but it did not seem worth it for the points, unless I am missing something and someone can give me some hints)

    I will also post every day on a brilliant thread called !!!8216;Payment A Day!!!8217; - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2047605
    Basically you make one payment every day, no matter how small, to one of your debts or into savings. This money can come from money you have saved on your food bill, money you have raised by selling things etc. The total paid in 2009 was just under half a million - £500.000!!!!
    I have been doing this sporadically but need to concentrate and do it every day.

    I would also like to make special mention to a board on Motley Fool called Your Tomorrow Starts Today, it!!!8217;s all about listing your goals for the month and trying to achieve them !!!8211; sometime!!!8217;s they may seem insignificant but to that poster they are a hurdle in life. If you need support every one there is willing to give it. Long term goals are an option but it!!!8217;s all the little goals needed to get to the bigger ones.

    I have read Weezl74!!!8217;s threads on the Old Style boards, I am part way through the 50p per day until Xmas. She is so inspiring and I wish to follow her lead and save some money on food this month. We don!!!8217;t really have a food budget for this month as all spare money will be needed for house costs so I want to try and use most of the things out of the cupboard and fridge before we move !!!8211;could be some interesting combinations.
    The chest freezer will not be coming with us, there is no room and it is on it!!!8217;s last legs !!!8211; luckily before Xmas I sorted it out so there is some party food, 2 turkeys and that!!!8217;s about it !!!8211; shouldn!!!8217;t be too difficult to use up!

    I know what your all thinking by now !!!8211; why doesn!!!8217;t she stop waffling and get on with things!! !!!8211; well it all starts here.

    Thanks for following me on my journey.

    EE
    Last edited by Eager_Elephant; 05-01-2010 at 10:23 PM. Reason: Realised also signed up for MyVoice!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
Page 79
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 4th Mar 18, 10:21 AM
    • 4,357 Posts
    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Thanks ladies for comments - I get a glow of happiness when I realise the debts are coming down, I will beat that credit card.

    Ebay is going well, thanks for asking Seasidegal - I have just listed the last of the reference books and have started on the CD's. The reference books are very specialist so should sell over the course of the next month or so - they are all on BIN for 30 days and then I will review after that.
    Don't have space to keep them hanging around so want rid asap so will accept most offers.

    Unfortunately my packaging order has been delayed by snow, the order has been in the next county since last week so not as bad as being half way across the country. Our snow is melting well so hoping it comes soon, text I got yesterday implies it will come today but I doubt that although they may be working today to clear backlog.

    Have nearly sorted final bills for F-I-L and claimed all money due to him which is good as one less worry, not heard from auction house, will ring them mid month if not heard anything.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 10th Mar 18, 10:36 AM
    • 1,922 Posts
    • 11,806 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    The parcels should have started moving now EE. Good news on F-I-L's bills nearly sorted as well.

    Hope you're all feeling well in the EE household!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 20/05/2018: £646.59
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 10th Mar 18, 12:57 PM
    • 4,357 Posts
    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Thanks SSG.

    I got my parcel on Monday and posted my backlog on Tuesday, have had some more sales in the week as well. Am going to reduce the price on the reference books that only have 10 days left to see if I can shift them.

    Have now paid all of F-I-L's bills, just waiting for payments in from various places. Auction house sent letter this week with listings, auction is at the end of the month.


    I have just paid off one of DH's credit cards, using his own money of course - his monthly saver matured so got some interest as well.
    Now to start on the next one - the next smallest balance is over £2k so will take a while to clear but clear it he will.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 10th Mar 18, 5:08 PM
    • 5,741 Posts
    • 37,584 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Another card bites the dust, well done
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 10th Mar 18, 5:09 PM
    • 7,275 Posts
    • 35,701 Thanks
    brizzledfw
    Echoed. Well done EE
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%]
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Mar 18, 3:06 PM
    • 54,098 Posts
    • 214,493 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad that another card bites the dust
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Mar 18, 6:02 PM
    • 1,811 Posts
    • 10,876 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Everything is on its way down on the money front , great news .
    CC1 £3475 May 2018
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 1st Apr 18, 12:33 PM
    • 4,357 Posts
    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Another month passes in a blur.

    My Noddle report was out today and for the first time in forever my score was 3/5, it is usually 1/5 or 2/5 - my main number has also crept up into the high 500's. I know this doesn't mean anything really but I can at least see that my credit rating is improving - I think the reason for the 3/5 is that one of my credit cards is showing a very low balance as I did the BT and the card it was BT still shows the debt as being more than double what it actually is, hopefully that will catch up next time and my score will improve.

    DH has been particularly annoying and has taken out a new credit card. He claims he needs it to better his credit score and they only gave him a low limit, I told him the way to better his score is to pay off his debt If he had no debts and still had a poor score I could understand it but
    I told him to leave as I have truly had enough but alas he returned home - we have had a grown up discussion about it and I have told him how I feel and he told me how he feels and then he saw my reason that actually he does just need to pay his debts off.

    I am still not sure what my plan is for my marriage, what I do know is that I have not taken my Agnus for over 4 months and hormones always cloud my judgement plus my periods are back with a vengeance - if nothing else I need to take them regularly as I cannot put up with 2 week periods again.
    Sometimes I really think I could make my marriage work and on the other hand I think how much easier life would be without him.

    For now though we pootle along and things are going ok (apart from the credit card which I have hidden) at home, DS is back for Easter and is home for a month.

    We are having a massive sort out as we just have too much stuff, if I am up to date with the washing then some things just cant fit in the drawers and have to rest on the top of the drawers. I have given away stuff on Freecycle and everyone has been grateful.
    We still have hundreds of boxes of stuff from F-I-L which need sorting through and that is adding to the clutter in the lounge.
    Had last week off work and spent days getting the house in some sort of order as had boiler serviced and electrics tested - in the end they went in to only a few rooms so could have saved myself the work but actually the rooms they didnt go in look so much better.

    Auction went ahead and all but one lot sold so will ring auction place next week and see if they send a cheque or what they do. Still waiting on money from 2 other sources before I can draw a line under the estate.

    In the mean time we have just brought a new bed and will use our money from the estate to pay it off the credit card - it wasnt an expensive bed but was very much needed as our old one was slatted and quite a few slate had broken so on some parts of the bed if you stood up you fell through and last year the dog chewed the foot end and it looked like crap but we never had the money to replace it (well we did really but other things took priority)
    DD also needs a new bed and hers will come this week ready to be put up next weekend.

    Not sure what we will do with the rest of the money but DH has been suggesting things for weeks although the sensible side of him is going to pay for a course which will further his work prospects and lead to payrises in the future (work have agreed to pay after he put a business case across but are dragging their heels) and I think I will put an equal amount in to premium bonds.

    Need to also think about the future and what we can do to save to help realise our dreams, I know brizzle posted on her diary about it but I read a Sunday Times article about FIRE and that has opened my eyes a bit and I have been reading some new blogs, usually I read smallholding and frugal blogs but this takes it to a whole other level. Really what I want is not FIRE but just FI as I only want to retire from employed work but want to run a campsite and smallholding.
    Its been interesting to read the discussions on the internet about the Frugalwoods and whether they are FIRE or just FI.

    Anyway another rambling for today. Hope you are all having a good Easter.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Apr 18, 12:51 PM
    • 4,168 Posts
    • 28,321 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    What a relief to get FIL's estate sorted EE.

    Well done on getting a credit card paid off. When you pay off one of DH's credit cards does the account get closed? Is there anything to stop DH spending on it again and running up a new debt on it?

    Can you use the proceeds of the estate to pay off some more debt or do you have other plans for it?

    I'm not sure what FIRE or FI is?
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 1st Apr 18, 1:32 PM
    • 6,410 Posts
    • 13,196 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    FIRE is financial independence retire early which is what DH and I have done. As I understand it FI is just financial independence which does not involve retiring but does involve doing something you enjoy maybe on a consultancy or self employed basis as and when rather than working full time in the classic 9 to 5 role and being dependent on an employer. Happy to be corrected on FI though as I am unclear whether the not retiring bit is because money is still needed to live off or whether the work you do still requires a degree of profit or can be looked on as a hobby.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 1st Apr 18, 1:34 PM
    • 6,410 Posts
    • 13,196 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Frustrating re your DH and that would drive me mad too. Taking out another credit card in the hope of improving credit score! What planet is he on? Good you have some money from your relatives estate to hopefully make life a bit easier.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Apr 18, 1:41 PM
    • 4,168 Posts
    • 28,321 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    FIRE is financial independence retire early which is what DH and I have done. As I understand it FI is just financial independence which does not involve retiring but does involve doing something you enjoy maybe on a consultancy or self employed basis as and when rather than working full time in the classic 9 to 5 role and being dependent on an employer. Happy to be corrected on FI though as I am unclear whether the not retiring bit is because money is still needed to live off or whether the work you do still requires a degree of profit or can be looked on as a hobby.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks for the explanation ES.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 1st Apr 18, 1:53 PM
    • 1,624 Posts
    • 2,158 Thanks
    badmemory



    We are having a massive sort out as we just have too much stuff, if I am up to date with the washing then some things just cant fit in the drawers and have to rest on the top of the drawers.
    We still have hundreds of boxes of stuff from F-I-L which need sorting through and that is adding to the clutter in the lounge.
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    I am in total sympathy with this. My mother went into a care home almost 6 years ago & died 2.5 yrs ago, we sold her house 5 yrs ago. Every spare & non-spare space in my house has her stuff in it, even under the dining table, stuff which I can't quite bring myself to get rid of. I feel like I am throwing away her life. This on top of downsizing (almost 30yrs ago) from a decent sized 5 bed to a small 3 bed, I feel like I walk round my own home with my eyes closed because I don't want to see.

    It makes all of life so difficult especially as you said if you ever need a workman in. But the worse part is the effect it has on your own wellbeing. This is what finally spurred me into action, 4 charity shop & 6 tip bags & I can't see any improvement. But I will get there & know you will too. We just have to stick at it.

    Just to make others feel better about what they are dealing with! Last week I threw away 3 pyrex bowls, 1lg, 1med & 1sm leaving me with 2 of each (& who really needs 2 of each you may ask). 5 of these 9 bowls I had as a wedding present in 1969 (1969 is not a typo) the other 4 newer ones were my mother's. Interesting to see how the pyrex logo has changed over the years.
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 1st Apr 18, 2:24 PM
    • 4,357 Posts
    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    What a relief to get FIL's estate sorted EE.

    Well done on getting a credit card paid off. When you pay off one of DH's credit cards does the account get closed? Is there anything to stop DH spending on it again and running up a new debt on it?
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    DH defaulted on all his credit cards and loans in 2012 when he became ill and was off sick from work for months and could not maintain minimum payments - it was a blessing in disguise really as the minimum payments took up his whole wage bar a bit he out towards bills and so each month he had to use his credit cards again to buy diesel etc and would often take out more credit to use to get by - by this point we had seperate accounts as I realised after a few years of a joint bank account that DH just liked spending and he didnt earn enough so used credit and I was having to contribute to paying his debts off.

    All his debts are with debt agencies now so once paid off are not able to be used again but it does improve his credit rating

    Can you use the proceeds of the estate to pay off some more debt or do you have other plans for it?
    We could but F-I-L left the proceeds to be split between DH and I and I dont want my half going to his debts and also I feel we should do something beneficial with the money hence DH doing a course fits well with that ethos and as DH calls this an investment I feel I should do something with my money hence the premium bonds. F-I-L was very good with money and never believed in debt, its a shame his other sons fleeced him of all his money over the years, so I dont want his savings to pay off debt that DH was stupid enough to run up.

    I'm not sure what FIRE or FI is?
    FIRE is financial independence retire early which is what DH and I have done. As I understand it FI is just financial independence which does not involve retiring but does involve doing something you enjoy maybe on a consultancy or self employed basis as and when rather than working full time in the classic 9 to 5 role and being dependent on an employer. Happy to be corrected on FI though as I am unclear whether the not retiring bit is because money is still needed to live off or whether the work you do still requires a degree of profit or can be looked on as a hobby.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    ES answered your question well, the reason mine would not be FIRE is because I want to run a smallholding and also a camp site, I wont be doing it to make loads of money, just to tick by and because it is a hobby of mine (smallholding) and I will then work my own hours and not have an employer.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 1st Apr 18, 2:32 PM
    • 4,357 Posts
    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I am in total sympathy with this. My mother went into a care home almost 6 years ago & died 2.5 yrs ago, we sold her house 5 yrs ago. Every spare & non-spare space in my house has her stuff in it, even under the dining table, stuff which I can't quite bring myself to get rid of. I feel like I am throwing away her life. This on top of downsizing (almost 30yrs ago) from a decent sized 5 bed to a small 3 bed, I feel like I walk round my own home with my eyes closed because I don't want to see.

    It makes all of life so difficult especially as you said if you ever need a workman in. But the worse part is the effect it has on your own wellbeing. This is what finally spurred me into action, 4 charity shop & 6 tip bags & I can't see any improvement. But I will get there & know you will too. We just have to stick at it.

    Just to make others feel better about what they are dealing with! Last week I threw away 3 pyrex bowls, 1lg, 1med & 1sm leaving me with 2 of each (& who really needs 2 of each you may ask). 5 of these 9 bowls I had as a wedding present in 1969 (1969 is not a typo) the other 4 newer ones were my mother's. Interesting to see how the pyrex logo has changed over the years.
    Originally posted by badmemory
    Its reading things like yours that make me realise mine isn't quite as bad as that

    MIL went into a home in 2003 and we had to clear her house in 12 weeks as it was council and she could only get Housing Benefit for 12 weeks while she trialled the home. This was a large 3 bed house with loft filled, we were pretty ruthless and most of the stuff which was not usable got burnt and the rest we sold as this also included stuff of FIL (DH's father not FIL who died recently who is step FIL) which DH should have got a share off when he died but instead MIL sold loads of stuff and drunk the money away

    We kept some ornaments and she took some ornaments to the care home, when she died 5 years later the ornaments all came to us and sat in a box on top of DH's chest of drawers and once a year he would sort through them and gradually got rid of what he didn't want until we were left with 2 ornaments.

    When stepFIL died recently we had 4 weeks to clear his flat and luckily I managed to rehome lots of things direct, I put them on Facebook and some of my friends who were starting again in new homes came and got things so that was good. I also did numerous charity shop runs and runs to the tip.
    What we have left is 000's of CD's which I am putting on Facebook and loads of books which I am checking prices on before we get rid of them.
    There is also 00's of vinyl which we are gradually sorting through, most of it is common as muck so we have been recycling this rather than donating as I think it would just clutter up the charity shops.

    We donated the majority of the kitchen equipment to various family members and then the rest went to charity.

    It was a hard 4 weeks but I am so pleased the majority went to new homes although we do have a 2month old fridge freezer in our shed - the problem is that it has lost so much value I cant quite lower the price but I will soon as the longer it sits around the more damage could be done.

    I really feel for you badmemory and hope you can continue with your clearance - remember its all baby steps and although you cant see a difference you know you have made one as so much has left your house/.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Apr 18, 3:09 PM
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    HairyHandofDartmoor

    All his debts are with debt agencies now so once paid off are not able to be used again but it does improve his credit rating



    We could but F-I-L left the proceeds to be split between DH and I and I dont want my half going to his debts and also I feel we should do something beneficial with the money hence DH doing a course fits well with that ethos and as DH calls this an investment I feel I should do something with my money hence the premium bonds. F-I-L was very good with money and never believed in debt, its a shame his other sons fleeced him of all his money over the years, so I dont want his savings to pay off debt that DH was stupid enough to run up.




    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    That's a relief that DH can't run up the credit cards again and I quite understand that you don't want to pay his debts with your money. It's great that half of the money has been left to you .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 1st Apr 18, 4:21 PM
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    badmemory
    I was pleased to read that FILs will reflected the effect BOTH of you had on his life & think it is an excellent idea to use that money effectively/beneficially rather than disappear down a black hole. I'm sure FIL would be pleased.

    I've found it interesting that having some money behind you can significantly reduce the stresses of something going wrong & does actually seem to reduce what may go wrong. It may well all be in the mind but can have a very real effect nonetheless.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Apr 18, 4:52 PM
    • 4,168 Posts
    • 28,321 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor

    I've found it interesting that having some money behind you can significantly reduce the stresses of something going wrong & does actually seem to reduce what may go wrong. It may well all be in the mind but can have a very real effect nonetheless.
    Originally posted by badmemory
    That is so true. It gives you confidence and reduces stress which makes you perform better in everything you do.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 1st Apr 18, 8:11 PM
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    • 37,584 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    I suppose, as you're unsure about leaving DH, you should see how it goes for now. If things don't improve then you can revisit the situation. Just before Mr SA got ill, I'd had enough of him and his constant moaning but had no idea of the way out. Talk about be careful what you wish for! I feel awful admitting this but that's how it was. Sad as it sounds, there's no way I would want to retire early and be stuck at home with him 24-7, it would be awful.

    Good that you've sorted FIL's estate though.
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 2nd Apr 18, 3:34 PM
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    • 24,709 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I suppose, as you're unsure about leaving DH, you should see how it goes for now. If things don't improve then you can revisit the situation. Just before Mr SA got ill, I'd had enough of him and his constant moaning but had no idea of the way out. Talk about be careful what you wish for! I feel awful admitting this but that's how it was. Sad as it sounds, there's no way I would want to retire early and be stuck at home with him 24-7, it would be awful.

    Good that you've sorted FIL's estate though.
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    I know what you mean SA, there have been various points over the years that I have finally been ready to leave DH but then something happens like he gets ill or someone dies.

    I still believe his head issues from 2012 were a blessing in disguise, I am not sure where his debt would have ended. It might have taken 5 years to get him fixed as much as he can be and mainly he is back to how he was before albeit stress and loud noise affects his head badly and he has to stay in bed for days afterwards but we manage and I know he is so much better off than a lot of people.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 34 for April
    NSD - 0/15
    (up to 2/4/18)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
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