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  • FIRST POST
    Kevicho
    Would a reckless spender put you off a relationship?
    • #1
    • 21st May 06, 7:08 PM
    Would a reckless spender put you off a relationship? 21st May 06 at 7:08 PM
    After seeing the thread regarding debt keeping us single, I thought about it on the flip side, as this is quite relevant to me at the moment.

    If you liked someone but they have a reckless attitude to spending (ie it all went on going out, nothing in savings) would that put you off? (i know it does me)

    Having read a couple of recent threads it seems to me that for someone to change there habits, then need to want to change themselves.

    Also another point is that money is one of the biggest causes of arguments (been there done that), means that if one partner saves and the other spends then there is bound to be an ego clash at some point.

    It seems to me that maybe I am very picky, or maybe a little too optimistic but even though id like a relationship at the moment, the fact that most of the people I like, have a non existant plan or indeed any desire to work on improving there finances, indeed to the extent that in some cases it makes me very frustrated and them bored when i try to give them some insight :S

    I always seem to come to the same conclusion, that this has become one of the most important aspects of my life and it would be nice to get that balance there, if it wasnt there it would just go downhill

    I mean, im not getting myself out of debt just so some young lady can help me run it back up again!

    For the time being im happy being single, im quite content with my life and am finally getting my act together and trying to learn and set myself up for life, but im sure that if i found someone who wanted to go along the same path it would be much better

    Views?

    Last edited by MSE Martin; 23-05-2006 at 4:16 PM.
Page 1
  • Jays
    • #2
    • 21st May 06, 7:13 PM
    • #2
    • 21st May 06, 7:13 PM
    Yes, a reckless spender would definitely put me off, wouldn't touch with a barge pole. On the other hand, would not like someone too tight either, got to live a little too.
  • tina68
    • #3
    • 21st May 06, 7:16 PM
    • #3
    • 21st May 06, 7:16 PM
    Yes it would put me off
    on this day 23/05/1430
    Joan of Arc captured and delivered to the English
  • Dr.Lou
    • #4
    • 21st May 06, 7:18 PM
    • #4
    • 21st May 06, 7:18 PM
    Definately would put me off. Am lucky that my OH and I agree on the way we handle money.
  • beautifulgorgeous
    • #5
    • 21st May 06, 7:20 PM
    • #5
    • 21st May 06, 7:20 PM
    And me, balieffs banging at the door and endless phone calls about non payment does not make for a happy life.
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 21st May 06, 7:21 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,643 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    • #6
    • 21st May 06, 7:21 PM
    • #6
    • 21st May 06, 7:21 PM
    Yes, there needs to be a balance of saving/spending, but after being on here, I'd probably become a MSE Nag and drive them away anyway!

    Looking back, I seem to have had relationships with men that are very good with their money, so maybe there is hope for me yet.

    It's another one of those areas of compatability - I'll add that to my check list!
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - 3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - 4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - 12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
  • In Search Of Me
    • #7
    • 21st May 06, 7:28 PM
    • #7
    • 21st May 06, 7:28 PM
    If you'd asked me this a couple of months ago I would have given a different answer which makes me laugh in itself! I could NEVER go out with someone who was "mean" (ie never got a round, tight with presents & generally didnt give & take) & there is a difference between caution & being downright tightfisted!! One thing I am finding really hard (& suspect always will!) is that I am a giving person by nature & not giving (or having to be innovative now!!) is a real struggle. Having said that I just couldnt go out with someone who spent like used to anymore...it would just wind me up too much now!! It would be a bit like being sober & having someone drunk all the time! No ta!! All about balance for me so want someone to be able to do treats but not someone who spends with wild abandon...(as ever - long answer to short question!!! what am I like eh!!)
    Nerd no 109 Long haulers supporters DFW #1! Even in the darkest moments, love and hope are always possible.

  • Anastacia
    • #8
    • 21st May 06, 7:38 PM
    • #8
    • 21st May 06, 7:38 PM
    Perhaps its time to start AN MSE singles club ?

    Too late for me, married to someone for 20 years, but his intentions are generally good even if he strays a bit when he sees a bargain.

    Anastacia
    ....another happy bug.........sorry,blogger embracing the simple life
    • nearlyrich
    • By nearlyrich 21st May 06, 7:42 PM
    • 13,335 Posts
    • 16,542 Thanks
    nearlyrich
    • #9
    • 21st May 06, 7:42 PM
    • #9
    • 21st May 06, 7:42 PM
    I am married to a Yorkshireman so the problem of reckless spending has never arisen ( joke) fortunately we both have the same attitude to money, you can only spend it once.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
    • lynzpower
    • By lynzpower 21st May 06, 7:43 PM
    • 24,746 Posts
    • 39,940 Thanks
    lynzpower
    I think its important to have the same goals in a relationship.And knowing where you want to be in the future, and be living toward it. However Im glad my OH is philosophical about it, if he had a no to tragic debt cases he wouldnt be marrying me

    Luckily for me, my OH loves bootsales & charity shops & his idea of spending wildly is TKMAXX! Ive bagged a good un
    Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast
    • Tr@cker
    • By Tr@cker 21st May 06, 9:05 PM
    • 517 Posts
    • 132 Thanks
    Tr@cker
    Being in debt isn't so bad so long as you have adequate income, i'd being looking for someone in the same boat-12k unsecured or similar and 20-22k per year job.
  • MinnieSpender
    I suppose it depends on where you are in life and what you want in a relationship.

    When I was younger, I didn't mind too much about reckless spenders - I'm probably more switched on myself these days so it would matter if it was serious and I wanted to stay with them.

    On the other hand, I'm not in a position to "settle down" myself at the moment (various reasons) so if by "relationship" you mean quick fling for the summer, I wouldn't worry too much. George Clooney is free to be as reckless as he likes!
    What if the hokey cokey is what it's all about?

    Official "Bring back Mark and Lard NOW! or else (please)" Member 16
    • kuohu
    • By kuohu 21st May 06, 9:13 PM
    • 873 Posts
    • 491 Thanks
    kuohu
    Yes it would definitely put me off.

    I think the main problem though would be keeping up, if they were spending lots frivolously and I was sticking to my budget.
    DFW Nerd 035
  • brranger
    Being in debt isn't so bad so long as you have adequate income, i'd being looking for someone in the same boat-12k unsecured or similar and 20-22k per year job.
    by Tr@cker
    Nice advert just add age bracket and Gender and your onto a winner
    Thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel....Then got hit by a train!
    Lightbulb Feb 2006
    Debt free Nov 2011
  • brranger
    After seeing the thread regarding debt keeping us single, I thought about it on the flip side, as this is quite relevant to me at the moment.
    by Kevicho
    One of my better ideas that:rolleyes:
    Thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel....Then got hit by a train!
    Lightbulb Feb 2006
    Debt free Nov 2011
    • Tr@cker
    • By Tr@cker 21st May 06, 9:26 PM
    • 517 Posts
    • 132 Thanks
    Tr@cker
    Brranger, that isn't you top left is it by any chance lol ?
  • LookingAhead
    I have to be honest and say it would put me off if they were reckless.
    I've seen it in people close to me and it scares the pants off me.

    I just hope my own boyfriend isn't having negative thoughts about ME! (Although he is seeing me working every month to reduce my debt...and he is an MSE widower too....!)
    Bank Balance: In the black for the moment.
    Sainsburys Loan: Cleared July 2010
    Credit cards: AMEX Airmiles Card: direct debit set to clear balance monthly
    • Tr@cker
    • By Tr@cker 21st May 06, 9:29 PM
    • 517 Posts
    • 132 Thanks
    Tr@cker
    Wreckless poeple are good in bed.
    • Tr@cker
    • By Tr@cker 21st May 06, 9:30 PM
    • 517 Posts
    • 132 Thanks
    Tr@cker
    People as well.
    • Xbigman
    • By Xbigman 21st May 06, 9:32 PM
    • 3,146 Posts
    • 1,382 Thanks
    Xbigman
    Someone being in debt wouldn't bother me, it would be the why that was more important. The problem is that you don't walk up to someone and get to know them with the words 'are you in debt'? As pick up lines go its pretty weak!
    Regards



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