Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Jenny
    • By MSE Jenny 27th Jul 09, 12:33 PM
    • 1,228Posts
    • 3,559Thanks
    MSE Jenny
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should a desperate housewife condone a cheating boss?
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 09, 12:33 PM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should a desperate housewife condone a cheating boss? 27th Jul 09 at 12:33 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Gabrielle is good pals with her husband, Carlos's, boss and his wife. Yet one day, she catches the boss romancing another woman. When she confronts him, he promises to pay Carlos a 100 bonus every month if she keeps schtum about his cheating ways. They're struggling at the moment; should Gabby spill the beans to the boss's wife or take the cash? (Inspired by Desperate Housewives)

    Click reply to have your say

    Previous MMDs: View All

    This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email

    Don't miss out on new deals, loopholes, and vouchers

    Last edited by MSE Jenny; 28-07-2009 at 7:10 PM.
Page 1
    • scotsbob
    • By scotsbob 28th Jul 09, 4:15 PM
    • 4,462 Posts
    • 6,958 Thanks
    scotsbob
    • #2
    • 28th Jul 09, 4:15 PM
    • #2
    • 28th Jul 09, 4:15 PM
    100 for nothing?

    Take it.

    If she spills the beans the boss just fires her hubby, then they'll struggle even more and serve her right.

    It really none of her business anyway.
    Last edited by scotsbob; 28-07-2009 at 8:11 PM. Reason: original question was changed.
  • Pompidou
    • #3
    • 28th Jul 09, 11:49 PM
    No, no and no.
    • #3
    • 28th Jul 09, 11:49 PM
    She doesn't have to condone him but she doesn't have to expose him either. Neither does she have to accept the pay off. Declining the bribe will indicate moral disapproval and establish high ground. The boss will feel scummy, which is fine really.
    • Money_Grabber13579
    • By Money_Grabber13579 29th Jul 09, 12:26 AM
    • 2,943 Posts
    • 1,450 Thanks
    Money_Grabber13579
    • #4
    • 29th Jul 09, 12:26 AM
    • #4
    • 29th Jul 09, 12:26 AM
    It's blackmail essentially, therefore she should refuse it. Although whether or not she should expose him is another matter.

    But by all accounts, no money should be accepted.
    Northern Ireland club member No 382
  • Susan Frost
    • #5
    • 29th Jul 09, 5:23 AM
    • #5
    • 29th Jul 09, 5:23 AM
    Would not take the money

    Would not spill the beans either. Up to the couple to sort out their own marriage, the wife may already suspect. Would back off from being so friendly with him, but be ready to support the wife if/when she needs it. It probably wont be the first time he has been unfaithful.
  • mr-tom
    • #6
    • 29th Jul 09, 6:26 AM
    • #6
    • 29th Jul 09, 6:26 AM
    No.

    So far only he has done something wrong.

    If she takes the money, it is blackmail, and unless Carlos owns the company, it is also tantamount to embezzlement as (it reads as if) he's using the company's money to pay.
  • yorkshireman99
    • #7
    • 29th Jul 09, 7:26 AM
    • #7
    • 29th Jul 09, 7:26 AM
    I don't think the answer should be affected by the money on offer. the situation is nothing to do with her, and she should just keep quiet anyway.
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 29th Jul 09, 7:31 AM
    • 11,541 Posts
    • 48,331 Thanks
    whitewing
    • #8
    • 29th Jul 09, 7:31 AM
    • #8
    • 29th Jul 09, 7:31 AM
    If the bss can treat his wife with such a lack of respect, then he won't have a great deal of respect for Carlos either. Don't take the money and look for a new job.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • Flickering Ember
    • By Flickering Ember 29th Jul 09, 8:03 AM
    • 11,623 Posts
    • 128,854 Thanks
    Flickering Ember
    • #9
    • 29th Jul 09, 8:03 AM
    • #9
    • 29th Jul 09, 8:03 AM
    She should tell her own husband, and help him find a new job, but not do anything else. Cheaters always get found out in the end, and neither Carlos nor his wife would be grateful/pleased if it got exposed this way.
    Flickering Embers grow higher and higher...I need a break and I wanna be a paperback writer!
    • webwiz
    • By webwiz 29th Jul 09, 8:10 AM
    • 208 Posts
    • 77 Thanks
    webwiz
    She should certainly not tell. If she thinks it immoral to take the money she could either refuse it or give it to charity.
  • humblebumble
    Neither!! She should walk away from the situation.
  • Tali
    Telling the wife won't solve the problem, it will simply bring it to a head. If the 'romancing' is not serious it might be better that she doesn't know; if it is there's little she can do about it.
    Take the money and hope the punishment is enough to make him sort himself out.
    • pineapple
    • By pineapple 29th Jul 09, 10:14 AM
    • 6,298 Posts
    • 30,236 Thanks
    pineapple
    Not her business. Plus she has no idea what is really going on in their relationship.
    Similar situation with friends and I did not intervene. They got over the 'blip' and are now a happy, secure family.
    But no do not take the money. Makes her as bad as him!
  • craigp001
    100 for nothing?

    Take it.

    If she spills the beans the boss just fires her hubby, then they'll struggle even more and serve her right.

    It really none of her business anyway.
    Originally posted by scotsbob

    She should sleep with the boss too and threaten to tell his wife and get 200 per month out of him.
    • Doooford
    • By Doooford 29th Jul 09, 10:33 AM
    • 466 Posts
    • 299 Thanks
    Doooford
    Probably wouldn't but maybe, if I did...
    Wouldn't take it, but then I do find it hard to turn down a good cash offer when I get one. Maybe I'd take it and then make a discrete tip off to his wife. I'd probably leave it a few months though to get a nice little holiday fund out of it
  • cazmorg
    don't take the money and dont tell. He will get found out eventually - cheaters always do
  • Pee
    The wife probably knows and is working out the best way of dealing with it. It might have been going on for years and be something she tolerates. It would only cause her pain to tell her about it.

    I agree, I don't think she can take the money.
    • skylight
    • By skylight 29th Jul 09, 10:52 AM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    Taking the situation at face value and that the wife is not a best pal of mine, I would take the money and not tell. Not my problem.
    • zzzLazyDaisy
    • By zzzLazyDaisy 29th Jul 09, 10:54 AM
    • 12,134 Posts
    • 18,762 Thanks
    zzzLazyDaisy
    She should tell her husband immediately, but don't take the money.
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
    • Ivrytwr3
    • By Ivrytwr3 29th Jul 09, 11:02 AM
    • 5,479 Posts
    • 9,631 Thanks
    Ivrytwr3
    What's Martin been up to in MSE Towers to start this discussion?
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,003Posts Today

6,475Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Today's FRI Twitter poll: As everyone knows, you're a creative genius with an huge range of highly honed skills.? https://t.co/KV5FHAqK6v

  • Watching Theresa May... seriously would anyone in their right mind truly want her job right now!

  • RT @thecheekypostie: @MartinSLewis Thanks to this, I have just skim read it. To those in Scotland - on page 548, Dounreay is mentioned by n?

  • Follow Martin