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  • FIRST POST
    CrystalBlu
    Getting money back from a "friend"
    • #1
    • 22nd Jun 09, 10:40 AM
    Getting money back from a "friend" 22nd Jun 09 at 10:40 AM
    Hi, not sure if this is the right forum for this but i couldnt find anywhere else..

    Anyway, i recently lent my "friend" 1,000, of which he has re-paid 500 with the rest still outstanding, I have asked him for this back repeatedly but to no avail.

    My question is how would I go about getting this back? I technically have no proof that I gave him any money and he can just deny that he even took the money?

    Any help much appreciated

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    Last edited by Former MSE Wendy; 23-06-2009 at 8:56 PM.
Page 1
    • Tixy
    • By Tixy 22nd Jun 09, 10:56 AM
    • 31,062 Posts
    • 39,469 Thanks
    Tixy
    • #2
    • 22nd Jun 09, 10:56 AM
    • #2
    • 22nd Jun 09, 10:56 AM
    Hi Crystal Welcome to DFW

    I think you are going to struggle to get this back. If you had proof your options would be either to try an claim it through the small claims court or to get a solicitors letter to 'frighten' him.

    Was the loan in cash? If you had transferred the payment from your bank to his this may help as you would have a record that the money went to him and even though this wouldn't prove it was a loan rather than a gift it would partially back up your position. Did he repay you in cash? Or through the bank?

    You don't have any written evidence at all e.g. an email or even a facebook message saying 'thanks for the loan'? Any witnesses who saw you loan him the money?

    Without any of these it will simply be your word against his. Is he still a friend? - is he refusing to repay you or saying he can't afford to? If the latter you could suggest he pays in installments say even 10pw.
    A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give

    or "It costs nowt to be nice"
  • kaz665
    • #3
    • 22nd Jun 09, 10:59 AM
    • #3
    • 22nd Jun 09, 10:59 AM
    This is a difficult one and relies really on your friend being honest and trustworthy. I would explain that you need the money back asap and ask if you can set up a direct debit for a certain amount each month for him to pay you back in instalements, maybe with the finish date being around Christmas or something. This way although you may not get all of the money back straight away I think you are more likely to at least get it eventually and might help your friend sort out his financial situation.

    Moral of the story do not ever lend to anyone unless you are prepared to not get the money back - but I guess you already know that.:rolleyes:
  • CrystalBlu
    • #4
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:04 AM
    • #4
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:04 AM
    Hi, thanks for the replies, well no longer friends - thats kinda the problem, so doubt he'll be very honest about it when i try to get it back somehow.

    The loan was in cash, taken out of my account and paid into his on the same day - at the same bank so i suppose that sort of works in my favour but could still have just been a gift? The 500 he paid was also in cash so no proof of that either.

    I had some text message a few months ago asking for it back and him saying he couldnt afford to, but these have since been deleted.

    Going to be a case of my word against his I presume!
    • tallyhoh
    • By tallyhoh 22nd Jun 09, 11:12 AM
    • 2,161 Posts
    • 2,228 Thanks
    tallyhoh
    • #5
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:12 AM
    • #5
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:12 AM
    It might still be worth trying small claims court. If your friend thinks you still have proof of the loan he might just cough up.
    Tallyhoh!

    Stopped Smoking October 2000. Saved 21,840 so far!
  • Trollfever
    • #6
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:16 AM
    • #6
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:16 AM
    I had some text message a few months ago asking for it back and him saying he couldnt afford to, but these have since been deleted.
    I was told that phone companies can supply copies of deleted text messages.
  • Pssst
    • #7
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:21 AM
    • #7
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:21 AM
    Phone him up about it and record the conversation,casually mentioning all the details of the loan. As your no longer friends, submit a claim via the courts service moneyclaim on line. If you dont do something,you will not feel good. Your either the hawk or the dove in this life,hunter or hunted.
  • CrystalBlu
    • #8
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:29 AM
    • #8
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:29 AM
    I think i'll go through the moneyclaim online service, he hasnt been taking my calls lately so dont think i can record the conversation, but i'd rather do something than just let him get off wit my money (only 500 i know but thats not the point!)

    Will contact Orange see if they can supply copy text messages, that would go some way to prove that it was indeed a loan.
    • zzzLazyDaisy
    • By zzzLazyDaisy 22nd Jun 09, 11:30 AM
    • 12,134 Posts
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    zzzLazyDaisy
    • #9
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:30 AM
    • #9
    • 22nd Jun 09, 11:30 AM
    Do you know where he is now?

    And does he have a job or possessions that would cover the money?

    You need his current address to start proceedings in the small claims court, and even if you win, there is no guarantee he will pay you. If you have to enforce the debt this will cost you more in court fees which will be added onto his debt, but unless he has a job (so you can get an attachment of earnings order) or owns possessions such as a car (so the bailiffs can seize and sell them) you may never see your money.

    It all depends on him having respect for -or fear of - the law, and/or whethere a ccj is going to bother him
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • Pssst
    I think i'll go through the moneyclaim online service, he hasnt been taking my calls lately so dont think i can record the conversation, but i'd rather do something than just let him get off wit my money (only 500 i know but thats not the point!)

    Will contact Orange see if they can supply copy text messages, that would go some way to prove that it was indeed a loan.
    Originally posted by CrystalBlu
    I understand there is a device which can retrieve deleted texts from your phone/sim. I think it is commonly used by "security" services but can be bought online.

    also
    http://www.infinityusb.com/default.asp?show=supportdetail&SupportID=21
  • CrystalBlu
    I know his current address so thats not a problem, and he has a Job and also a car that would more than cover the 500 still owed to me.

    His claims of not being able to afford to re-pay it are grossly exaggerated, so it's just proving that it was a loan and he hasnt re-paid it that i have to be able to prove..
    • Lipstick99
    • By Lipstick99 22nd Jun 09, 11:56 AM
    • 131 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Lipstick99
    Crystal Blu - am with you on this..... made the mistake of believeing someone when they said i would get my money back..... hasn't paid a penny. And me being daft. gave him cash, wish I hadn't. So you are not alone.

    I have taken my stupid head off now.:rolleyes:
  • CrystalBlu
    Yeah i wont be lending anyone money again in a hurry, more hastle than its worth!

    So moneyclaim online is my best option? Dont think there's much more i can do!
    • zzzLazyDaisy
    • By zzzLazyDaisy 22nd Jun 09, 1:34 PM
    • 12,134 Posts
    • 18,762 Thanks
    zzzLazyDaisy
    Before you start court proceedings, you should send him a 14 day letter along the following lines...

    Dear [name],

    Notification of intended court proceedings (underline this bit)

    On [date] I loaned you the sum of £1000. You have since repaid £500, but despite my repeated requests you have failed to repay the balance. In the circumstances I am now left with no alternative but to inform you that I require a cheque from you in the sum of £500 within 14 days, failing which I will commence proceedings in the county court for the full amount owed, plus interest and court costs. No further notice will be given.

    Yours etc

    When you make the claim, you state that you sent a letter before action on [date] but that you have had no reply (if that is the case) and just repeat what you have said in the letter.

    You then wait and see what he says in his defence. If he does not file a defence, you can apply for judgement in default. You can do this online.

    EDIT - you can just give him 7 days to pay up, but it is worth being realistic - if he gets paid on last day of the month, say, there may be little point in making the deadline before he gets paid.
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • CrystalBlu
    Thanks Lazy, I've written out the letter as you advised and will be sending it tonight recorded delivery, at least then i have confirmation that it has been received even if it is ignored!

    So after 14 days and i havent heard anything i can use moneyclaim online to start proceedings?
    • DdraigGoch
    • By DdraigGoch 25th Jun 09, 2:47 AM
    • 715 Posts
    • 3,996 Thanks
    DdraigGoch
    best of luck from someone else with the same sort of "friends"
    • zzzLazyDaisy
    • By zzzLazyDaisy 25th Jun 09, 1:08 PM
    • 12,134 Posts
    • 18,762 Thanks
    zzzLazyDaisy
    Thanks Lazy, I've written out the letter as you advised and will be sending it tonight recorded delivery, at least then i have confirmation that it has been received even if it is ignored!

    So after 14 days and i havent heard anything i can use moneyclaim online to start proceedings?
    Originally posted by CrystalBlu
    Hi, sorry I have only just seen this - when sending a letter 'recorded' delivery it is acyually best to send it by Special Delivery - it costs more, but it is delivered by a separate postman from normal mail, and they have to get a signature, which is then uploaded to the RM website so you can get a copy as proof of recipt. Unfortunately with recorded delivery they often dont bother with a signature. Never mind, you weren't to know.

    As you have sent it recorded, you need to go on-line with the number and see if it has been delivered (people who owe money often refuse to accept recorded delivery letters). For that reason I usually advise people to also send the letter by ordinary letter post as well, as a back up.

    Alternatively, if you are happy to hand deliver, and have a friend who is willing to go with you as a winess and would also be willing to go to court and confirm that you delivered the letter, then hand delivery is also an option.

    Sorry, I should have pointed these things out to you.

    Anyway, If it is shown on RM website as delivered you can start proceedings once the 14 days has passed from the date he received the letter. If it isn't showing as delivered, then I suggest that you either post it by ordinary post and get a receipt, or hand deliver it with a friend as witness. Then wait another 7 days.

    Come back if you need further help with this, and anyway, do let us know what happens x
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • lilac_lady
    Isn't it strange that when someone lends money to someone else the lender becomes a "bad" person for trying to get the money back as promised? That's why I NEVER lend money. if I can't afford to give it I don't get involved. Yes - I learned the hard way.
    " The greatest wealth is to live content with little."

    Plato


  • CrystalBlu
    Hi, thanks for the reply Lazy, I just checked on the RM site and it has today been delivered, the past 2 days he has apparently not been in.

    The ePoD will be available to view in 24hrs so hopefully I will have that as evidence that he recieved the letter and that it was him who signed for it.

    So 14 days from today.. 9th July, if no cheque/response has been received I can begin moneyclaim proceedings? Still going to be my word against his though i imagine

    @lilac - I know what you mean, I actually felt bad having to ask the first few times. But now i'm just sick of it. Hopefully the prospect of court action will encourage him to pay his debts!
    • zzzLazyDaisy
    • By zzzLazyDaisy 25th Jun 09, 6:52 PM
    • 12,134 Posts
    • 18,762 Thanks
    zzzLazyDaisy
    Hi Crystal, that is good news!

    Yes 14 days from today you can start court proceedings if you haven't got your money.

    Yes, it will be your word against his - do you still have the bank receipt showing that you paid cash into his account? Even if you don't, you should take copies of your bank statement showing that you withdrew the cash on that day, and you just have to hope that the court believes you rather than him.

    Once you have convinced the court that you did lend him the money, then it is up to him to persuade the court that he has repaid you (it is not up to you to prove he hasn't).

    But first let's see what happens. He might pay you back... or if you do have to start proceedings, he may not file a defence..... or he might tell the court that he does owe you the money but can't afford to pay you at the moment..... or..... or.....

    One step at a time
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
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