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    • Former MSE Andrea
    • By Former MSE Andrea 18th May 09, 9:20 AM
    • 9,419Posts
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    Former MSE Andrea
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you put 10 in Kitty's birthday kitty?
    • #1
    • 18th May 09, 9:20 AM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you put 10 in Kitty's birthday kitty? 18th May 09 at 9:20 AM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Would you put 10 in Kitty's birthday kitty?

    You started a new job a fortnight ago, it's one of your new colleagues, Kitty's, 50th birthday and everyone's been asked to put 10 in Kitty's birthday kitty for the present. Yet you're not flushed with cash not having been paid yet, and you hardly know her. What would you do?

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    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 19-05-2009 at 5:59 PM.
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Page 1
    • scotsbob
    • By scotsbob 19th May 09, 9:45 PM
    • 4,462 Posts
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    • #2
    • 19th May 09, 9:45 PM
    • #2
    • 19th May 09, 9:45 PM
    Not for a 50 year old.

    If she was a bit younger it might be worth it to get noticed.

    • Wings of Ambition
    • By Wings of Ambition 19th May 09, 10:42 PM
    • 1,663 Posts
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    Wings of Ambition
    • #3
    • 19th May 09, 10:42 PM
    • #3
    • 19th May 09, 10:42 PM
    Nah. And if she expects it, she's exactly the kind of person that doesn't deserve it.
  • pinkstacey
    • #4
    • 19th May 09, 10:44 PM
    • #4
    • 19th May 09, 10:44 PM
    Who comes up with this stuff at work? Money for birthdays, money for leaving, money for pregnancy, cakes on brithday, money for charities.

    I'd be keeping my money on this one!
    • katecheshire
    • By katecheshire 19th May 09, 11:20 PM
    • 227 Posts
    • 153 Thanks
    • #5
    • 19th May 09, 11:20 PM
    • #5
    • 19th May 09, 11:20 PM
    We collect for our team's birthdays and we've been doing it for several years - the person gets the cash so basically you get out what you put in over the year. We never expect temps to contribute unless they have been there a few months' If it was someone else's birthday outside our team we would only give if it was a 'big' one and then you put in what you like not a set amount. If you don't really know the person you don't put in. Same with leaving collections.
  • Stubert
    • #6
    • 20th May 09, 12:10 AM
    • #6
    • 20th May 09, 12:10 AM
    Coming to the end of my student years I've only had temp jobs over the summers. I hated it when people came round asking money for Doris in the HR Department or whoever. Having no idea who she is, never going to meet her I don't really want to contribute thank you. You wouldn't give me a fiver towards my grannys birthday who you are never going to meet, so please take that scornful look off your face when I politely decline saying I don't know who it is.
  • CutTheJargon
    • #7
    • 20th May 09, 12:20 AM
    Stop it Now!
    • #7
    • 20th May 09, 12:20 AM
    I really think it is time to stop these collections in the workplace. It puts pressure on people who may not really be able to afford to give or may not want to. If the person celebrating the Birthday/Engagement etc wants to bring cakes/chocolates in, then that is up to them, but nobody should expect work colleagues to donate money to them. The nicest thing I received from colleagues was a card that had been signed by all of them with their jokey comments. That meant a lot yet cost very little.
    • Cloudane
    • By Cloudane 20th May 09, 12:24 AM
    • 502 Posts
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    • #8
    • 20th May 09, 12:24 AM
    • #8
    • 20th May 09, 12:24 AM
    10 contribution for a birthday for a colleague seems rather generous as it is, unless it's a *really* close colleague. No wonder the UK is in such a bad financial situation! There's a good chance that whoever's in charge will buy something that will go to waste anyway. It's all about the gesture, not the money spent or the actual item received, so why spend so much.

    Nope. Sorry if it sounds tight, but we get leaving boxes often enough (high staff turnover), generally you're only expected to put in a pound or two and even with that I tend to be in 2 minds about if it's someone I've only walked past in the corridor once or twice. It all adds up! I'm sure it'd be the same with the roles reversed.

    (People I will actually miss get extra... okay, I'm not tight enough in reality to deny those I barely know but "have working there as the one thing in common" something like 50p but that's all they're gettin'!)

    In our case they actually just send a box round and ask you to pass it on to the next department, so in theory you can get away with not donating without any embarrassment, if personal morals permit. Watching who's contributed is wrong though, IMO, and against the spirit of willful donations*.

    * i.e. that a nice gift to receive is one given on the person's own initiative and from the bottom of their heart (even if it cost little or nothing), not under peer pressure and from the bottom of their wallet.
    Last edited by Cloudane; 20-05-2009 at 12:38 AM.
    • WhyIsSavingSoHard
    • By WhyIsSavingSoHard 20th May 09, 1:37 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 68 Thanks
    • #9
    • 20th May 09, 1:37 AM
    • #9
    • 20th May 09, 1:37 AM
    You've only just started the job, not yet been paid, still have everyday expenses and they want 10 from you??? NO way. Contributing less would be so obvious (as they'd be expecting to count in 10's), so I'd politely explain that I'm skint until my first pay day. Chances are they've all been in your shoes before and would be fine about it, although it's tough if they don't understand.

    I'm in agreement though, that all this 'collecting for .........' business is way out of hand. An ex-colleague of mine had her 60th the other year and they did a 'give as much/little as you like' collection. I put in 1 as I hadn't much money, but I offered to make (and did) the card from us all and told them I'd get a box of chocolates to add to the presents. The chocolates were some I'd been given a month earlier and don't like. She was really pleased with them both and still has the card on show today.
    Last edited by WhyIsSavingSoHard; 20-05-2009 at 1:41 AM.
    I'm not supposed to be normal, I'm supposed to be me
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    Must remember to use it more, but every little helps
  • frederickb
    Generous sod that I am probably would but would feel that I had been intimidated into it
    Eric Patterson
  • hermoine
    No way would I put 10 in any ones birthday collection. If everyone puts in 1 then a card and some chocs or wine would be purchased. Surely that is enough, I really agree with the posters who say the collections should be banned. I worked in a huge financial institute for a couple of years and there was a collection most days, if I had put into them all I would have been working for nothing.

    In most circumstances a card would suffice and for special birthdays or leaving colleagues just a modest gift to let them know they are thought about should be enough.

    In my experience the close friends of the birthday person will normally stump up for the collection and then get a personal gift as well this is a lot of pressure.


    • Taffybiker
    • By Taffybiker 20th May 09, 6:05 AM
    • 917 Posts
    • 499 Thanks
    Not for a birthday, sorry. In our neck of the woods it is up to the birthday person to provide - not receive. I would be looking forward to those doughnuts!
    • geri1965
    • By geri1965 20th May 09, 6:15 AM
    • 8,366 Posts
    • 14,004 Thanks
    I probably would, but it would annoy me greatly and I would be whingeing about it for days at home!

    I used to work in a place like this - it was 2 for a normal birthday, 5 for a special birthday (18 or 21 say) then there was money for leaving presents, money for flowers for someone whose mum had died etc.

    Where I work now we don't normally bother for birthdays, but if someone is leaving an envelope gets sent around and we put in whatever we want.
  • dollystork
    No, I wouldn't put 10 in. Maybe 2, but that's all.

    We do seem to collect for everything ever where I work. If it's a 'normal' birthday, we're suppose to put 2 in, but I quite often only put 1 in. They've now started something where you pay in advance for everyone's birthday in the office, & then when somebody's birthday comes round, you've already given, bu I've declined from this & will continue to give what I feel appropriate as & when.
    Last edited by dollystork; 20-05-2009 at 6:30 AM.
  • Susan Frost
    Surely most workplaces would not even ask a new employee for 10 even if others are giving this amount. Where I worked they would probably have said what was happening with an option to give what/if you wished, with no obligation and no recriminations. I would probably give 2. The only time I have been asked for a set amount was just between a few very close colleagues for a special event and it was agreed between us what to give. Considering everyone's financial position. On that level, I guess I worked with some quite understanding people really.
    • tallgirld
    • By tallgirld 20th May 09, 6:40 AM
    • 481 Posts
    • 321 Thanks
    10 in a collection that's taking the mick!!!

    There was a collection at work the other day and do you know how much I put in? A grand total of 50 PENCE!!! YES 50 PENCE!!! I am sick of collections at work. In future that is the MAXIMUM I will contribute. 50 PENCE!!! After all my salary has been frozen and we are in credit crunch ;-)
    • Flickering Ember
    • By Flickering Ember 20th May 09, 6:42 AM
    • 11,623 Posts
    • 128,877 Thanks
    Flickering Ember
    Definitely not. It's like restaurants adding mandatory service charges to your bill. I object completely to being made to feel awkward if I want to opt out of such things, in the hope I'll just pay up. I'd also feel awkward if people bought me things for my birthday etc so I wouldn't be paying out in this case either. I'd explain it's nothing personal. If I want to buy a present for someone, I'll buy it for them personally.
    Flickering Embers grow higher and higher...I need a break and I wanna be a paperback writer!
  • purplegaily
    Our office bung in 3 for normal birthdays, and 5 for special ones (the birthday kitty extends to 10-11 people). Cakes are usually bought out of the 'present', by the lucky birthday boy/girl - a trip to the cake shop in the rain if you're unlucky.

    It's done more as a bit a bit of a laugh than anything majorly serious, and we'd all understand if someone chose to back out. We've recently asked the last few birthday people to save their birthday cash, and just get a packet of biscuits.

    If I'd only just started, I'd sign the card when it came around, and put a pound or 2 into the envelope, but would not contribute the full 10.

    We just do an envelope where you cross your name off the list and put as much or as little in as you like. This caused great hilarity as one envelope came back for one chap who was retiring - noone looks at the contents, but out of the whole office of about 30 people, there was a lot less than even a 2 donation each!!
    Always on the look out for a bargain. Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
  • Holty
    If i had been at the company longer, then yes i would contribute. But since i am a newbie, unfortunately no.
  • pipesy
    kitty's kitty
    I've made it a rule I never enter into these things. She should understand, if she doesn't she isn't worth it anyway. pipesy
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