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  • FIRST POST
    Littlemiss-lotsofdebt
    Sick of saying 'Sorry, I can't afford it'
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:21 PM
    Sick of saying 'Sorry, I can't afford it' 17th Mar 06 at 1:21 PM
    Is anyone else tired of using this phrase? I'm trying soooooooooo hard at the moment to spend as little money as possible but then spend just as long worrying that people will think I am tight or money obsessed!

    So far this week, I've been asked out for a girls night out and 2 holidays and I've had to trot out the well worn words 'Sorry, I can't afford it'. On one hand, I'm really pleased I'm not giving in but on the other hand, I'm not someone who likes disappointing people when they ask me to go places!

    Anyone got any new ways of saying I'm skint without letting the whole world know my business?




    Last edited by MSE Andrea; 28-03-2006 at 4:29 PM.
    Its nice to be important but more important to be nice!
Page 1
    • heppy23
    • By heppy23 17th Mar 06, 1:25 PM
    • 477 Posts
    • 246 Thanks
    heppy23
    • #2
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:25 PM
    • #2
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:25 PM
    Is anyone else tired of using this phrase? I'm trying soooooooooo hard at the moment to spend as little money as possible but then spend just as long worrying that people will think I am tight or money obsessed!

    So far this week, I've been asked out for a girls night out and 2 holidays and I've had to trot out the well worn words 'Sorry, I can't afford it'. On one hand, I'm really pleased I'm not giving in but on the other hand, I'm not someone who likes disappointing people when they ask me to go places!

    Anyone got any new ways of saying I'm skint without letting the whole world know my business?
    by Littlemiss-lotsofdebt
    Say you are saving up for something? Car/deposit on house/wedding etc
  • freeclimber
    • #3
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:32 PM
    • #3
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:32 PM
    Tell them THEY can't afford it! Say it jokingly, but the induced guilt often allays further probing and allows an easier brush off if they are persistent.

    I've used it on my OH. Hasn't stopped her buying new shoes though
    Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. A.A. Latimer
    Debt Jan 06: 103,000
    Current: 99,000
    Debt-free date: 2465 (give or take a century)
    Current homemade banana bread status: 2 slices left
    Current statement/letter stack: 8.6 inches
    The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money
  • queenofthedump
    • #4
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:56 PM
    • #4
    • 17th Mar 06, 1:56 PM
    Why don't you say I am sorry but I am too busy enhancing my future lifestyle, to fritter pennies that will end up down the toilet.
  • Kevicho
    • #5
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:01 PM
    • #5
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:01 PM
    It sometimes takes a little time for this message to sink into some peoples heads, after a month or so of saying similar people have stopped begging me to go out.
  • Littlemiss-lotsofdebt
    • #6
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:03 PM
    • #6
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:03 PM
    Why don't you say I am sorry but I am too busy enhancing my future lifestyle, to fritter pennies that will end up down the toilet.
    by marieb
    Must remember that one!!

    Heppy, if I say the wedding word or marriage one in my house, BF goes into a blind panic! lol
    Its nice to be important but more important to be nice!
  • youngandreckless
    • #7
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:11 PM
    • #7
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:11 PM
    I always say I'm saving up for a new car (except to my bestest friends who know I'm on a tight budget cos of debt). Most people seem to accept it without much thought and it saves you feeling down on yourself or worrying what they think
    • skintchick
    • By skintchick 17th Mar 06, 2:14 PM
    • 14,668 Posts
    • 23,339 Thanks
    skintchick
    • #8
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:14 PM
    • #8
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:14 PM
    I just tell people I cannot afford it, whatever it is. Most people won;t ask why. I just say I don;t have a lot of money to play with and can't spare the 20 or whatever to go out.

    No-one's ever had a problem with it, and if they did, they wouldn't be my friend for much longer.
    DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007
    married 21 6 08 Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014!
  • Littlemiss-lotsofdebt
    • #9
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:16 PM
    • #9
    • 17th Mar 06, 2:16 PM
    Thanks guys. I do find being debt embarrassing, and I shouldn't when I know that a lot of my friends are probably in the same position as me and nowhere near their lightbulb moment
    Its nice to be important but more important to be nice!
    • James240
    • By James240 17th Mar 06, 2:24 PM
    • 15,616 Posts
    • 9,739 Thanks
    James240
    Is anyone else tired of using this phrase? I'm trying soooooooooo hard at the moment to spend as little money as possible but then spend just as long worrying that people will think I am tight or money obsessed!

    So far this week, I've been asked out for a girls night out and 2 holidays and I've had to trot out the well worn words 'Sorry, I can't afford it'. On one hand, I'm really pleased I'm not giving in but on the other hand, I'm not someone who likes disappointing people when they ask me to go places!

    Anyone got any new ways of saying I'm skint without letting the whole world know my business?
    by Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

    yep had that exact thing today hun some of my friends from work have gone down the pub for lunch while im sat at me desk having me lunch that i made for meself, i was asked but came out with the same phrase.."i cant afford it"

    At the rate its going i think they are getting bored of me saying i cant afford it, cos im getting bored of saying it me self plus they always look disappointed when i do say it......

    As much as i would love to go down there with them i just dont have room for it in my budget

    So i know exactly what u mean hun
    Matched Betting Winnings: ?????.?? Officially Debt Free!!! Official DFW Nerd 007 Ah Ha! There you are Ms 240
  • moozie
    Hey there Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

    I understand how you feel. Being in debt is embarrassing but what I've come to realise recently is that not doing anything about it and getting into a deeper mess is far worse than saying 'sorry, I can't afford it'.

    Feel proud of yourself, you are doing what many people can't.

    We are here for each other.
    Leason learnt
    • lynzpower
    • By lynzpower 17th Mar 06, 2:42 PM
    • 24,746 Posts
    • 39,940 Thanks
    lynzpower
    I sometimes say, "actually im still paying off a night out on a credit card from 3 years ago. Once thats clear, I can make it"
    Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast
  • ms_london
    I dont totally agree that being in debt is embarrassing - who isnt it debt? (well, im not now - whoo, but you see what I mean).

    You should all be proud of yourselves for doing something about it. It is tough in the long run, however, it WILL be worth it in the end and you will have learnt so many things - most of which will stick with you for life!!

    I wonder if a few years down the line, these friends, who seem to be out all the time, new clothes, holidays etc etc will be the ones in debt (if they arent already!!) - while you will have savings & be money savvy :0)
  • nabowla
    Been thinking about some of the comments here. Being in debt isn't seen as 'weird' by most of our friends as they're all in debt too. So why do we feel so uncomfortable about saying we can't afford things? Possibly because it's not the done thing to want to tackle debts by cutting back. The general attitude seems to be 'if you can't afford it, put it on your credit card', and 'if you've maxed out your credit card, take out a consolidation loan'. What we're doing is often embarrassing because it goes against the grain. It's also embarassing because no-one else appears to be in debt: we assume that if they're not worried, then they're not in debt.

    I just wish that more people would own up to the mess that they're in. It would make life sooooooo much easier for the rest of us. For one thing, we wouldn't have to say 'sorry, I can't afford it' so often because no-one else would be able to afford it either!
  • amosworks
    Tell them you're saving up to enhance your investment portfolio and in a couple of decades they can come for a free holiday on your yacht in the med
    • heppy23
    • By heppy23 17th Mar 06, 3:46 PM
    • 477 Posts
    • 246 Thanks
    heppy23
    Thanks guys. I do find being debt embarrassing, and I shouldn't when I know that a lot of my friends are probably in the same position as me and nowhere near their lightbulb moment
    by Littlemiss-lotsofdebt
    You are "out of the closet" so to speak. I bet if you were more open and frank about your problems you would get at least one or two of your friends asking for advice.
    • heppy23
    • By heppy23 17th Mar 06, 3:48 PM
    • 477 Posts
    • 246 Thanks
    heppy23
    Being in debt is only embarrassing if you let it be.

    With my poor credit rating I can make a joke of anyone that tries to get me to take a new credit card. I just say "We'd both be wasting our time, you won't give me it".
    • MrsTinks
    • By MrsTinks 17th Mar 06, 4:08 PM
    • 14,994 Posts
    • 23,044 Thanks
    MrsTinks
    Well my debts are tiny compared to a lot of people here but to me they a big enough if that makes sense... and although I can still afford a lot of "luxuries" then to me it's mroe important to pay of what I owe and start saving for a wedding And then children etc... So I've used the "sorry can't afford it" line too
    If they ask then just say sorry but can't afford it as saving up for something (make it up) or if you want then just be honest I find telling poeple that I can't make it because I want to have paid of all my debts before the end of the year tends to shut them up... Mainly because I know non of them could even hope to be in the same position
    DFW Nerd #025
    DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's!

    My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey
  • BertieMeldrew
    DON'T feel guilty! Chances are that all those who are inviting you are getting into debt just to do it

    Girls night out? Why not suggest a girls night in with a bottle of wine... you host it and they bring the wine (ok... it may cost you a few nibbles)

    Holidays? Say "thanks but I'm saving up for the big one"... which in many ways you are... you're first holiday when you CAN afford it

    Good luck
  • nicoliyah
    I know exactly how you feel!
    I know exactly how you feel, the same sort of thing happens to me all the time. I am always getting invited out for peoples birthdays or work socials, its a nightmare!

    I console myself with knowledge that I have lots of friends and people enjoy my company. Your obviously really popular too
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