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  • FIRST POST
    IWILLSORTMYDEBTSOUT!
    How do you lot keep yourselves motivated while in debt?
    • #1
    • 9th Mar 06, 4:19 PM
    How do you lot keep yourselves motivated while in debt? 9th Mar 06 at 4:19 PM
    Hi, am having one of those days I'm afraid. How do you keep going with the proverbial chain round your neck??

    I owe 25k, and it makes so annoyed to think of the way I've blown it all and got sweet f.a to show for it. I was sucked in by addiction and didn't get until it was far too late.

    At 25 and still living at home I'm coming under more and more pressure to move out but how I can afford too I don't know.

    I'm in the process of setting up a Payplan arrangement but even with that it's going to suck half what I earn a month from me. At this rate it'll be the best part of 6 years before I'm free.

    Even the cheapest place to rent is 450 round here, and a mortgage is out of the question as my credit rating has been shot to pieces over the past couple of months.

    Before you ask no-one I know know's the extent of the problems I've got and that's the I'd like it to stay.

    Sorry for the rant just needed to have a moan to someone.

    Last edited by MSE Archna; 14-03-2006 at 4:33 PM.
Page 1
    • Kimberley
    • By Kimberley 9th Mar 06, 4:24 PM
    • 13,401 Posts
    • 20,356 Thanks
    Kimberley
    • #2
    • 9th Mar 06, 4:24 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Mar 06, 4:24 PM
    It's a case of having to keep going, thats life. Once it's clear you'll feel fine and relieved Just keep going and you'll get there
  • Gerradene
    • #3
    • 9th Mar 06, 4:58 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Mar 06, 4:58 PM
    It has been about a month since i realised i needed to sort out my finances and i too get downhearted.

    I am 25 too and how i get through it is i put some money into a savings account for specific things, at the moment it's a new cooker, and then next time i get paid if i don't want or need the thing i will put that money towards my debts. That is my plan at the moment and it really helps me to see that i do have some money.

    Some days are worse than others - and you can always share your thoughts on here - my parents know about my debt but i prefer browsing the threads on MSE. I look at the success stories and that makes me think 'it can be done!'

    Hope you feel better after your rant
    Official DFW Nerd Club member no. 019
  • mattp
    • #4
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:05 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:05 PM
    Still makes my blood boil to think I can't buy a house in England now and there are 1000's of people sat on 100,000's of equity who are buying up the smaller properties as "investments!" makes me sick - but there we go - I voted Labour but it did no good, the poor always get poorer!

    I'm in exactly the same boat and it really gets to you when you can't spend any money to cheer yourself up, but battling with a spending addiction is all about proving to yourself that material goods dont make you happy in the long run - we now have a massive industry (commonly know as advertising and marketing) that has one intention - to make you feel that you NEED that 42" plasma screen when a 20" is fine, that you MUST smell good, look good, wear brand names, buy HP beans instead of Smart Price and drive the latest model of VW Golf not a 15 year old one .....so..........................i try to get the most out of free things like going on bike rides at the weekend - costs !!!!!!-all and you get to see the beautiful countryside at the same time which makes you glad to be alive sometimes! It also gets you fit and I don't care what anyone says, if you get yourself healthy you feel a lot better about yourself - debts or no debts!

    There you see - you thought YOU were ranting lol

    Keep your chin up!

    Good Luck!
  • THE LONE RANGER
    • #5
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:07 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:07 PM
    well first of all dont feel sorry for yourself be positive its only debt and to be honest not that much realy ,i get through days and weeks quite easily i go to work knuckle down and pay my debts what i can afford ,in 2 years ive cleared half with thesupport of just my family. i save so much a month in a credit union and building nicely thankyou , i deal with the creditors directly and have no truck with these dca,speak to the creditors offer what you can and stick toit, the area i work and what ive seen and see on a daily basis i can assure you you are very lucky you have your health a roof over your head etc dont waste your time worrying 20s are great ,6 years isnt long, an average car loan is over 4years look at it that way chin up be positive
    Last edited by THE LONE RANGER; 09-03-2006 at 5:10 PM.
    • Raquela
    • By Raquela 9th Mar 06, 5:09 PM
    • 355 Posts
    • 821 Thanks
    Raquela
    • #6
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:09 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:09 PM
    I come on here and read the forum. It never fails to remind me why I'm doing this and there is light on the other side :-)
  • IWILLSORTMYDEBTSOUT!
    • #7
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:29 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:29 PM
    Still makes my blood boil to think I can't buy a house in England now and there are 1000's of people sat on 100,000's of equity who are buying up the smaller properties as "investments!" makes me sick - but there we go - I voted Labour but it did no good, the poor always get poorer!

    I'm in exactly the same boat and it really gets to you when you can't spend any money to cheer yourself up, but battling with a spending addiction is all about proving to yourself that material goods dont make you happy in the long run - we now have a massive industry (commonly know as advertising and marketing) that has one intention - to make you feel that you NEED that 42" plasma screen when a 20" is fine, that you MUST smell good, look good, wear brand names, buy HP beans instead of Smart Price and drive the latest model of VW Golf not a 15 year old one .....so..........................i try to get the most out of free things like going on bike rides at the weekend - costs !!!!!!-all and you get to see the beautiful countryside at the same time which makes you glad to be alive sometimes! It also gets you fit and I don't care what anyone says, if you get yourself healthy you feel a lot better about yourself - debts or no debts!

    There you see - you thought YOU were ranting lol

    Keep your chin up!

    Good Luck!
    by mattp
    Wouldn't be so bad if it was spending addiction, most of it went up in smoke (if you know what I mean)
  • amosworks
    • #8
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:30 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:30 PM
    I find the best source of motivation sometimes are Audiobooks. I'm not saying piracy is a good thing, but various BitTorrent sites have some good ones listed

    I have listened to at least 30 audiobooks relating to millionaires, from studies in to the psychies of the most affluent to guides on rags to riches straight from the horses mouth. They are good because I can do other boring stuff whilst getting motivated (like ironing, washing up etc. although I found out my laptop dislikes getting wet hehe)

    The 3 I would recommend most highly are "David Bach - The Automatic Millionaire", "John Cummuta - Transforming Debt in to Wealth" **** THIS IS A MUST THAT ALSO CONTAINS A FANTASTIC NEW WAY OF MAKING COMPOUND INTEREST WORK IN YOUR FAVOUR FOR A CHANGE! **** and the single more important audiobook ever made: "Thomas J Stanley - The Millionaire Mind" - this one turned me upside down as it totally changed my perceptions on millionaires and wealth producing activities. I would wear out my capslock key telling you how important this one is, especially if you used to waste lots of money living the lifestyle like I did.

    Ok, so it might be some time before I have my first million in the bank, but by following some of the principals I learnt from these audiobooks, it has made a huge impact on my life already.

    Also the John Cummuta method for transforming debt in to wealth shows how anyone can become debt free in 5 years of less, regardless of how much debt you have. It sounded like herecy but when I did the math for myself, I almost ran and hid in a cave lol. Best kept secret or what?!
  • dudleyboy
    • #9
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:30 PM
    • #9
    • 9th Mar 06, 5:30 PM
    Hi, i know how you feel and I used to get the same. My total debt wasn't the same as yours but here's the way I used to look at it to keep myself going...

    By the time you're 30 you will either:

    a) be in the same amount of debt you're in now
    b) be in more debt than you're in now
    c) be in less debt than you're in now

    either way, in 5 years time you're still going to be 30.

    Given those 3 options I went with (c) and it's been my motivation ever since. not much of one i grant you - good God i'm nearly 30!!! - but at least you'll be in less debt... because while you're only young once... you're old for a lot longer!
  • dollindebt
    Hi, am having one of those days I'm afraid. How do you keep going with the proverbial chain round your neck??

    I owe 25k, and it makes so annoyed to think of the way I've blown it all and got sweet f.a to show for it. I was sucked in by addiction and didn't get until it was far too late.

    At 25 and still living at home I'm coming under more and more pressure to move out but how I can afford too I don't know.

    I'm in the process of setting up a Payplan arrangement but even with that it's going to suck half what I earn a month from me. At this rate it'll be the best part of 6 years before I'm free.

    Even the cheapest place to rent is 450 round here, and a mortgage is out of the question as my credit rating has been shot to pieces over the past couple of months.

    Before you ask no-one I know know's the extent of the problems I've got and that's the I'd like it to stay.

    Sorry for the rant just needed to have a moan to someone.
    by IWILLSORTMYDEBTSOUT!
    On a positive note, you have realised you had a problem with debt now, while you are young, and you are doing something about it. I wished I had realised it when I was your age (I finally had my lightbulb moment when I was 36 and now I will be paying it off until I am 44!). Well done for sorting it out with Payplan, and stick with it. In a few years you will be debt-free and will know where every penny goes, while lots of others will be still drowning in debt. Keep your chin up and go forward knowing that each month you are chipping away at your debt. That's what I do when I start feeling low. Good luck
    Debt-free in May 2015 with the help of Payplan and MSE
    Lightbulb Moment: November 22, 2004
  • dollindebt
    Wouldn't be so bad if it was spending addiction, most of it went up in smoke (if you know what I mean)
    by IWILLSORTMYDEBTSOUT!
    Yep. So even on the days you are feeling low, at least you have gained control over your finances as well as the other issue. Stick with it
    Debt-free in May 2015 with the help of Payplan and MSE
    Lightbulb Moment: November 22, 2004
  • wigginsmum
    I have a complex spreadsheet that I've set up covering the next four years including everything going in and out of my current account, and I set mini-goals like how much I intend to pay off in the next 3 months; I try to shave off an extra 10 or 20 here and there to put towards repayments. I watch the debt figures go down each month - that motivates me.
    The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. An ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.
  • Purplefin
    I will sort my debts out!
    Be kind to yourself - you've made a big lifestyle change and deserve a pat on the back for that.

    I started a scrapbook and glued pictures in that made me smile. It doesn't have to be things you want to acquire when you're debt free - just places, things, situations that make you feel better. It doesn't matter what it looks like, you're the only one who is going to see it.

    So long as we are aware of our money and where it's being spent, then we don't need to focus all the time on our situation. It kills our creativity - lift your thoughts and who knows what ideas you may come up with to do something different.

    You are not alone - promise. x
    • moongarden
    • By moongarden 15th Mar 06, 9:12 AM
    • 461 Posts
    • 187 Thanks
    moongarden
    i would suggest when you have to move out renting somewhere with two bedrooms for around 500 and sharing with a mate.

    i had my own place and was paying 350 plus around 190 bills per month and i have just moved into a flat share with a friend and am now paying 270 plus 100(max) bills

    its a big difference

    best of luck
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 15th Mar 06, 9:30 AM
    • 10,689 Posts
    • 68,562 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Hi there

    To stay motivated keep logging onto this site - it's a real lifesafer. I've learnt so much, laughed at the jokes and had tears in my eyes at some of the stories esp Moozie's.

    Don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself a big pat on the back. You are only 25 with your whole life ahead of you and already you have learned a very valuable lesson about money managing. Stick to your goals and you will reap the benefits.

    In the meantime give yourself the odd little treat - they needn't cost much. A long soak in a nice warm bath, a few diy beauty treatments, a girly "night-in" with your friends, a good book (from the library of course), an uplifting or funny film always cheers me up - something fluffy like "Legally Blonde" or "Clueless" does it for me.

    I've started sewing again and "making & doing" arty/crafty things - very relaxing and helps me stop worrying as much.

    Don't know who posted it but the scrap book idea sounds great.

    Best of luck!!!
    • lynzpower
    • By lynzpower 15th Mar 06, 9:38 AM
    • 24,746 Posts
    • 39,940 Thanks
    lynzpower
    One thing that motivates me is just how MSE i am getting! Chuffed with my clubcard points, overjoyed with saving bits off bills here and there. Selling bits & pieces on ebay, and really excited about doing my car boot sale. It'll be a laff, day out, and might even pick up something for myself.

    Ive found "getting real" a real help. When I went to cuba a few years ago people were so chuffed to be given half a bottle of shower gel or pens, or a nail varnish cos they are so skint they wouldnt ever be able to get these things themselves. I buy these things ( or I did) willynilly a nailvarnish here and there, 3 etc, and its SO wasteful. I didnt appreciate the value of money ( a 3 nail varnish takes half an hour to earn for example) but when I think back, to those days in cuba when a woman was in tears cos I gave her an ol primark vest top, I knew I had it easy. So that motivates me- A LOT.
    Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast
    • skintchick
    • By skintchick 15th Mar 06, 10:09 AM
    • 14,668 Posts
    • 23,339 Thanks
    skintchick
    One thing that brings me out of my doldrums is to do something for someone else - even something tiny like help them with something, call them when you know they are having a hard time, anything that pulls me out of myself.

    It feels really good to help others, and it reminds me that money is NOt the be-all and end-all, that haveing friends and life and love and family is so much more important, and it also reminds me that I HAVE friends and family who love and care for me very much, and that humbles me and makes me feel valued.

    Blimey! I'm crying now!! Getting soft in my old age.

    But honestly, it makes me realise how much I HAVE got, even if it isn't money, I have so much wealth in other things, and that pulls me through the dark times.
    DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007
    married 21 6 08 Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014!
  • Marlee
    Sorry I can't think of anything very positive to help, but I am just sending you a hug. Hold on, you can do it!

    What did you spend the money on? Can you sell any of it?

    At least you have learnt that money doesn't buy happiness. My husband and I have been married for 29 years, this anniversary I bought him a bar of chocolate, and he bought me a new plug for the washbasin because that was what I really wanted! (I broke the chain on the old one). My family have a rule, only do very small gifts. They have to be either useful, cosmetic and cheap, or edible.
    • Alfietinker
    • By Alfietinker 15th Mar 06, 2:17 PM
    • 565 Posts
    • 545 Thanks
    Alfietinker
    Just a quickie as I haven't got time to read the whole thread at the moment.

    I'm 24 and have credit card debts - admittedly nowhere near as large as yours, and quite small by many peoples' standards, but large to me. I kept them secret from my husband for ages - he knew I had cards, but didn't know how much.

    When I 'came clean' to him it was such a huge weight from my shoulders. I still owe money (debt free by July), but just having his support has helped so much when I feel down.

    You said you didn't want anybody to know, but it could help to confide in somebody who won't judge you? My husband knows my 'me-spending' budget, and keeps an eye on me. He will stop spending money himself so I don't feel I have to keep up with him, if you see what I mean. He makes sure I've made my monthly payment, and checks how much to see if I've cheated.

    It is hard, granted, and can feel like a bit of a prison sentance sometimes. Especially being so young. But the feeling that I will be debt free soon is worth all that.

    Hang on in there!
    New year, no debt! Debt free date - 02/01/07
  • hoppypoppy
    Good on you
    Well done for realising that there is a problem - It'll take hard work to resolve but you'll have pleanty of time to enjoy afterwards - many people take far too long to admit there is a problem and spend their whole lives struggling with accumulating debt.

    Good luck. Make sure that you reward yourself for positive progress on the way.
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