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    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 12th Aug 08, 10:19 AM
    • 4,615Posts
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    Verbatim
    ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread
    • #1
    • 12th Aug 08, 10:19 AM
    ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread 12th Aug 08 at 10:19 AM
    There seem to be a good few posts recently from people who are in debt due to gambling and I wondered if anyone else thinks a support thread or a sub-board like the bankruptcy sub-board or giving up alcohol thread would be a good idea?
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
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    • Leanneglos1
    • By Leanneglos1 7th Apr 18, 10:07 AM
    • 84 Posts
    • 27 Thanks
    Leanneglos1
    Thank you for your reply, do I simply just turn up to the meetings or ring in advance, is the 12 step a weekly programme so will I miss the first few weeks etc if i go this week? Where I live they have 2 different meeting locations, 1 for the 12 step according to the GA website and 1 just to have a chat and discuss things with other people in similar situations, would you recommend both or just one?
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 9th Apr 18, 12:16 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    Welcome Leanne,
    you can just turn up at a meeting, i'd go with a general one first before you start the steps. The meeting will welcome you and let you know some of the things you can do to help stop you from gambling...

    hand over your finances, tell other half everything regarding debt (it will come out eventually anyway so tell them now)
    put gamblock (for a fee) or k9 (free) on your phone
    tell your friends and family. (the more people know the more they can support and help you)
    take lots of phone numbers (or a list) when you go to the meeting so you can call other members throughout the week.

    remember, the first step is to admit you are powerless over gambling. once you do this the rest comes in time x

    Also remember you are not alone. GA will be filled with people who know exactly what you are talking about, they will have felt what you feel, done what you've done.

    I've been in GA for almost 12 years now and not gambled for 11.5 years. It works if you want it to (i thought i was better than ga to start with, i wasnt.)
    i barely think about gambling now and when i do i look at what i've achieved without it and realise that all it would bring is misery.

    Good luck. feel free to message me privately if you wish

    Lynsey x
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 9th Apr 18, 12:20 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    4 months yesterday since my last bet. I'm feeling really good about that and not missing it at all.
    Originally posted by jools1985
    Great stuff Jools!!!
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Leanneglos1
    • By Leanneglos1 9th Apr 18, 5:27 PM
    • 84 Posts
    • 27 Thanks
    Leanneglos1
    Thank you for your advice, this weekend was a massive step for me, I wrote letters to my family members, OH and told my close friends, so the secret is out and everyone knows and the weight that has been lifted or my shoulders has been amazing, everyone is supporting me, my OH is taking full Control of my money, my wages paid in to his account and I!!!8217;ll be using a pre paid card that he will top up, I have a 3 year plan that clear my debt, my mum is also going to lend me some money and I!!!8217;m Lucky enough to have 2 meetings in my area so although the thought of going to 1 terrifies me I know that without it I won!!!8217;t get better so I!!!8217;m going, April 5th was day 1 of my new life
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 10th Apr 18, 10:38 AM
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    cantcope
    Thats brilliant progress! well done!
    Try not to clear the debt too quickly as this puts pressure on you which
    may in turn lead to gambling when things are a little tight. better to be able to live comfortably than struggle.

    Do you need to borrow money from your mum?
    GA wouldn't advise borrowing anymore (unless its for immediate bills), especially from your family who are easily led if we really want some more!

    Try to listen and take in as much as you can at the meetings. speak if you feel up to it. the more you tell the people in the room the more they can help you x
    its nerve-wracking at the start but it gets easier i promise. i was a lone 31 year old woman in a room full of older men when i first went!

    Now i'm part of the furniture and there are more women thankfully
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 10th Apr 18, 4:01 PM
    • 126 Posts
    • 266 Thanks
    jools1985
    That's great Leanne. It's not easy telling others that you are a compulsive gambler so well you for doing it.
    • Leanneglos1
    • By Leanneglos1 12th Apr 18, 12:15 PM
    • 84 Posts
    • 27 Thanks
    Leanneglos1
    Sorry guys, another question, I!!!8217;ve mever really thought about it but last week or so since everything came out (I think it!!!8217;s anxiery) has been through the roof...heart palpitations, short of breath etc etc, do I just ride it out and hope once everything settles it will ease? I don!!!8217;t really want to go docs and get put on pills and hoping once dust is settled it should ease, any one else been in a similar situation?
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 16th Apr 18, 12:12 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    anxiety is common, in fact you likely always had it but the gambling muted it. once you stop you are much more aware of emotions and things going on with your body and mind.
    Beta blockers or a mild anti depressant may be a good idea for a little while until your mind gets into a "new" place of not gambling xx

    However, heart palpitations could be other things so maybe a trip to the docs isn't a bad thing whether you want medication or not x
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • TrumpCard
    • By TrumpCard 25th Apr 18, 10:20 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    TrumpCard
    anxiety is common, in fact you likely always had it but the gambling muted it. once you stop you are much more aware of emotions and things going on with your body and mind.
    Beta blockers or a mild anti depressant may be a good idea for a little while until your mind gets into a "new" place of not gambling xx

    However, heart palpitations could be other things so maybe a trip to the docs isn't a bad thing whether you want medication or not x
    Originally posted by cantcope
    This is so true, I have been gamble free for over 4 months now which makes me really pleased with myself. But all my colleagues at work have noticed Iíve become much more reserved and quiet lately, and Iím noticing it myself. Gambling used to give me a social buzz when winning and now Iíve got rid of that, I need to learn how to interact without it. Scary really how much gambling took over me in so many ways.
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 26th Apr 18, 4:32 PM
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    cantcope
    This is so true, I have been gamble free for over 4 months now which makes me really pleased with myself. But all my colleagues at work have noticed Iíve become much more reserved and quiet lately, and Iím noticing it myself. Gambling used to give me a social buzz when winning and now Iíve got rid of that, I need to learn how to interact without it. Scary really how much gambling took over me in so many ways.
    Originally posted by TrumpCard
    its all about filling the void. Most people i know in GA take up a new hobby. it fills the time and they get to meet new people too. I took up baking and netball...cakes made me fat, netball burned them off
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Valio
    • By Valio 29th May 18, 8:41 AM
    • 7 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Valio
    Hi All,

    This is my first post ever here.I honestly don!!!8217;t know how and what to write and I would really prefer not writing at all...But I finally realised it and accepted it. The fact that the only way to fight it and deal with it, is to talk about it...

    So yeah, I!!!8217;m a compulsive gambler !!!55357;!!!56852; I!!!8217;ve been hiding that for years and living in denial for so long lead to the obvious consequences - debt (not entirely sure how much but probably £10k now).

    I don!!!8217;t want to tell you how miserable and how depressed I feel about it, I!!!8217;m sure you!!!8217;ll understand. I also read a lot of the forum threads here, already spoke with few organisations and today at 6:30pm I!!!8217;m about to attend my first GA meeting. Hopefully I get that motivation needed and go through this.

    I just need an advice please. What would be the best way to organise my finances? I!!!8217;m thinking about DMP, but before doing so I better call StepChange for advice, right?

    Please let me know your thought about that, would really appreciate all comments and suggestions!

    Thanks all and have a wonderful day!
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 7th Jun 18, 11:17 AM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    Hi Valio,

    Welcome to the thread. How did your meeting go?
    A lot of members in my group use stepchange. Were you given any advice at the meeting?
    Sorry you didnt get a response on here straight away. I've been on a holiday, paid for in full without credit at the time of booking, onyl possible by stopping gambling with the help of GA.
    Life can be amazing without a bet.

    Come back and update us all on how you are doing
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Valio
    • By Valio 13th Jun 18, 2:49 AM
    • 7 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Valio
    Hi there,

    Meeting was definitely helpful. However it canít be compared to the help and support I got from my sister and her partner. They helped me out to close almost all loans and hopefully by the end of this month Iíll be debt free (of course Iíll be paying back my sis for an year or so haha).

    But honestly life is much better now. No stress, no anxiety, no depression. Am like reborn lol.

    All I can say is that my mindset is totally different now and I have self excluded myself from all gambling websites. Not even thinking about gambling now!!! Well, probably will bet a tener on Argentina to win the World Cup, but thatís all (honestly!!!)

    Thanks all, and God bless you!

    Valentin
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 13th Jun 18, 1:22 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    Glad it was helpful.
    Please don't confuse gambling addiction with money problems... once the problems go away the addiction will reappear.

    betting a tenner on the football will be the start of a slippery slope again... might take a few months but it will reappear. I feel for you. and your sister.
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Valio
    • By Valio 14th Jun 18, 1:26 AM
    • 7 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Valio
    Many thanks, but I honestly can say Iím done with betting. Self excluding myself from all websites was such a joyful thing...felt like the best thing Iíve done in my life lol.

    Will keep you updated, going on holiday next week and all Iím thinking about now is how Iím gonna lay down on the beach over he next two weeks, reading a book and enjoying the sun!

    Best regards,

    Valentin
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 14th Jun 18, 11:24 AM
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    cantcope
    i hope you are Valentin but by putting a football bet on you aren't done with it.
    Just enjoy the football without spending money on it (that you owe to your sister).
    Have a great holiday
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 12th Jul 18, 1:56 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    How's everyone doing? Managed to get through the world cup so far with no betting?
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 14th Jul 18, 11:50 PM
    • 126 Posts
    • 266 Thanks
    jools1985
    How's everyone doing? Managed to get through the world cup so far with no betting?
    Originally posted by cantcope
    I have. Didn't even buy a ticket for the sweep at work.

    I've been gamble free for 7 and a half months now and I'm much calmer and mostly sleep well (except for when my gambling fuelled debts enter my head). I think I may have to enter into a DMP. I'm just scared of starting it off and preditors hounding me for money .Why was I so stupid
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 17th Jul 18, 12:04 PM
    • 1,731 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    cantcope
    Don't be afraid of starting a DMP. They will keep the predators away from what ive heard! It's likely to help you sleep better too!

    well done on the 7.5 months! great achievement
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 28th Aug 18, 10:39 AM
    • 126 Posts
    • 266 Thanks
    jools1985
    Almost 9 months without gambling now. Life is so much clearer than it was in those dark days
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