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  • FIRST POST
    rubydoiwannabee
    how did you end up in debt?
    • #1
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:07 PM
    how did you end up in debt? 5th Jul 08 at 4:07 PM
    Whilst driving the car today, it really hit me that before coming onto MSE and completing a SOA, I had no idea really whether we could afford the lifestyle we were living or not!! I think this is because we don't have flash cars, huge houses, go out etc. So we figured we must be living within our means when actually our debts were clear and explicit evidence that we were not.

    It got me thinking...

    I think our debt (currently 25.5K) came about because of naviety, optimism and living in the moment. We can see now that a reality check, a touch of pessimism and planning for the future was needed.

    Now I know many people end up in debt because of circumstances beyond their control, loss of jobs, ill health, bereavement and believe me I am in no way intending to belittle these situations, but just thought I would ask the question...

    How did you end up in debt??

    Feel free to add your thoughts, comments and stories.

    x
    Last edited by rubydoiwannabee; 05-07-2008 at 4:14 PM.
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
Page 1
    • lemontart
    • By lemontart 5th Jul 08, 4:10 PM
    • 5,835 Posts
    • 7,416 Thanks
    lemontart
    • #2
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:10 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:10 PM
    Loss of a business when my ex went awol taking the proceeds leaving me to start all over again
  • rubydoiwannabee
    • #3
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:11 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:11 PM
    Loss of a business when my ex went awol taking the proceeds leaving me to start all over again
    Originally posted by lemontart
    thanks for your reply.
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
  • Tonylpool
    • #4
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:14 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:14 PM
    Hi Ruby,

    My situation ended up after my divorce. When I was married, we had a low mortgage and a decent income, nice car, holidays and home improvements were just done as a matter of course.

    I then moved down south after we split and paid rent for my apartment and the mortgage on my our matrimonial home. My new partner and I split up and she left me with debts. I was naive and then got addicted to phone chat lines.

    I just wish I had found this site 2 years ago it would have made a massive difference. But glad I have found it now!!

    I'm really up for clearing my debts.

    Tony x
  • rubydoiwannabee
    • #5
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:16 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:16 PM
    Hi Ruby,

    My situation ended up after my divorce. When I was married, we had a low mortgage and a decent income, nice car, holidays and home improvements were just done as a matter of course.

    I then moved down south after we split and paid rent for my apartment and the mortgage on my our matrimonial home. My new partner and I split up and she left me with debts. I was naive and then got addicted to phone chat lines.

    I just wish I had found this site 2 years ago it would have made a massive difference. But glad I have found it now!!

    I'm really up for clearing my debts.

    Tony x
    Originally posted by Tonylpool

    Hi Tony,
    Like you I wish we had found this site, long before conslidation loan and re-mortgage, it could have saved a lot of pain and heartache and bl&&dy interest payments!!!

    At least we are here now and taking positive steps eh?
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
  • Forgetmenot68
    • #6
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:17 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:17 PM
    Sorry to hear that Lemon Tart.

    I said to my husband last night if I'd known we were going to end up in so much debt (nearly 50,000) I would have made sure we did some pretty wonderful stuff. We've had the odd holiday (not expensive), but really it has just been life and its varying costs which we haven't added up that have got us into trouble. Also, and I don't want to use it as an excuse, but losing our daughter was crippling to our sense of perspective. We couldn't bear to worry about money I think, as well as dealing with our grief.

    xx
  • Forgetmenot68
    • #7
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:20 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:20 PM
    Me too Tony, and ruby.
    • nellis10
    • By nellis10 5th Jul 08, 4:20 PM
    • 1,320 Posts
    • 3,083 Thanks
    nellis10
    • #8
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:20 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:20 PM
    I am currently 13270 in debt.

    3270 is through my own budgeting mishaps and spending freely without actually checking if the money was there!! A bit of an ostrich scenario.

    5000 is my car loan.

    5000 is a loan I took out to assist my hubbies business through a trying time...thankfully the business is back on track now, but I;ll keep on paying this until hubby can afford to pay me back. But I see it as a joint debt to help "our" future so the sooner I pay it abck the sooner I help us both!!
    Nat
    Goals:
    Baby Step 1 = 1000 EF
    Baby Step 2= Debt Free by Apr 2017
    Baby Step 3 = Full EF 650/8000
    Mortgage Free by 2023!!
  • rubydoiwannabee
    • #9
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:23 PM
    • #9
    • 5th Jul 08, 4:23 PM
    Sorry to hear that Lemon Tart.

    I said to my husband last night if I'd known we were going to end up in so much debt (nearly 50,000) I would have made sure we did some pretty wonderful stuff. We've had the odd holiday (not expensive), but really it has just been life and its varying costs which we haven't added up that have got us into trouble. Also, and I don't want to use it as an excuse, but losing our daughter was crippling to our sense of perspective. We couldn't bear to worry about money I think, as well as dealing with our grief.

    xx
    Originally posted by Forgetmenot68
    Hi Forgetmenot,
    Use it as an excuse!!! Money means nothing compared to such pain.

    I think you are inspirational, I really do. I have read your thread and think your will power and inner strength are just amazing.

    A boy in my son's football team has just died last weekend from lukeamia and even as someone removed from the family, we have all suffered from this loss. It certainly gives us great perspective!!

    xx
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
    • squealy
    • By squealy 5th Jul 08, 4:23 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    squealy
    Hi,

    I went travelling and built up a bit of debt (1500), then when I got back I was lazy about getting a job and only did a few days here and there, so just paying the bills left me in the situation I am in.

    I'm now working 2 jobs to pay off the debt I've built up, but feel a lot happier than when I wasn't working and had loads of free time! Go figure!
    Tesco CC: 0!
    Barclaycard: 200
    Fluid: 1620

    Total: 1820
  • Tonylpool
    Thanks guys, we all have our difficulties and reasons for it but its excellent that nobody judges us. I feel even more embarrassed because I'm an accountant!

    Forgetmenot, I look back and think the same as you; where did it all go????

    Its guys like you that have really helped me!

    Tony x
  • rubydoiwannabee
    Hi,

    I went travelling and built up a bit of debt (1500), then when I got back I was lazy about getting a job and only did a few days here and there, so just paying the bills left me in the situation I am in.

    I'm now working 2 jobs to pay off the debt I've built up, but feel a lot happier than when I wasn't working and had loads of free time! Go figure!
    Originally posted by squealy
    Hey Squealy
    At least you got to travel... go anywhere nice?
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
  • nekosuki
    Hi Ruby,

    I managed to rack up the 17k debt I have now through not listening to good advice and purely spending beyond my means whilst in my early 20s. Was I trying to impress people? I dunno...

    I once said to my then bank, you must love customers like me as I'm always getting charged and making you more money. The man actually said yes kinda without thinking.. he then changed his tune and denied it.
  • Tonylpool
    hi nekosuki,

    pretty much the same with me as you think the money will always be there! I'm actually happier now even though I have debts to deal with. I have not seen my children for almost a year now due to my ex wife being difficult and the sense of loss puts things in perspective.

    Tony x
  • NW-ANGEL
    debt mountain....
    hi
    Wish i could say it was one good reason to be honest - in some ways i suppose i can - life! but seriously its been a number of factors as i am sure it is for loads of people...
    personally -

    student for 4 years....
    low income....
    no income...
    redundancy...
    overspending....both everyday stuff and few extravagances...
    illness...
    family issues...
    seperation...
    young and looked through rose tinted specs...

    i could go on but i dont want dwell on all that - i look at my debt for me personally as a very steep learning curve - me and OH appreciate Everything we have and do, see the value in every penny we spend and make, and realise there are so many other things we took for granted over the years gone by, in the last 12 months we have paid off approx 10k....(keep meaning do signature!! have done SOA and do more reading than posting on 'ere!!) but determined to be debt free by 2011 and will never ever ask for credit again except for mortgage! and evebn then i hope we'l be saving every penny to put down before hand!

    life chucks lots at us...its one long ride - we just have to try and enjoy the journey and make it as good as possible

    (yes i am a soft silly blonde! )

    kel x

    PS it is comforting to hear everyones stories, read daily diaries and general money debt and life issues too getting addicted to this site ur all FAB !!!
  • rubydoiwannabee
    Hi Ruby,

    I managed to rack up the 17k debt I have now through not listening to good advice and purely spending beyond my means whilst in my early 20s. Was I trying to impress people? I dunno...

    I once said to my then bank, you must love customers like me as I'm always getting charged and making you more money. The man actually said yes kinda without thinking.. he then changed his tune and denied it.
    Originally posted by nekosuki

    I have said the same to my bank...and although they didn't reply I'm sure they were thinking exactly the same as the man you spoke to.

    As for trying to impress people.... well if you said that is something we did I would strongly deny it, but then we extended our house instead of moving when had we really sat down to consider it, we couldn't afford either!!!!!

    This site has shown me that we are not alone, not freaks, irresponsible parents (well still feel that actually), and has totally inspired me to change.

    xx
    The good you do comes back to you.
    DFW Long haul supporters No: 134
  • NW-ANGEL
    hi nekosuki,

    pretty much the same with me as you think the money will always be there! I'm actually happier now even though I have debts to deal with. I have not seen my children for almost a year now due to my ex wife being difficult and the sense of loss puts things in perspective.

    Tony x
    Originally posted by Tonylpool

    apart from kids (dnt have any YET! but must be awful) i feel completely the same nowadays

    kel
    Last edited by NW-ANGEL; 05-07-2008 at 4:38 PM.
    • Runnybabbit
    • By Runnybabbit 5th Jul 08, 4:36 PM
    • 490 Posts
    • 340 Thanks
    Runnybabbit
    hi nekosuki,

    pretty much the same with me as you think the money will always be there! I'm actually happier now even though I have debts to deal with. I have not seen my children for almost a year now due to my ex wife being difficult and the sense of loss puts things in perspective.

    Tony x
    Originally posted by Tonylpool
    Oh Tony, that's terrible, my hubs has gone through the same thing, he fought her all the way though, my heart goes out to you. x
  • Tonylpool
    Kel, you speak for us all! The empathy on this site is amazing and I can sit here all night reading it!!!

    Tony x
    • Runnybabbit
    • By Runnybabbit 5th Jul 08, 4:40 PM
    • 490 Posts
    • 340 Thanks
    Runnybabbit
    Kel, you speak for us all! The empathy on this site is amazing and I can sit here all night reading it!!!

    Tony x
    Originally posted by Tonylpool
    Yes and it doesn't cost us a penny
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