I Need Help Clearing My Debts :(

fr0zen wrote: »

Appreciate the latest round of replies.

I have taken measures to control the gambling. I have self excluded from all land based casinos, signed up with GamCare, closed the majority of my online betting accounts, and left a couple open with deposit limits of £20 a month so its very much in control. Except it's not is it - you already said earlier in the thread that the urge to gamble is still there.

My cards give me flexibility and i'm not quite prepared to have no credit available for the next six years, something I've enjoyed my entire adult life. That "flexibility" has got you up to your neck to the tune of 45k as I understand it? I repeat my earlier statement - the last thing you need right now is more credit - if you're even halfway serious about sorting your situation out then bin the cards.

Back to my though process of avoiding bankrupcy, I would like to;

a) Setup a DMP for my 20k loan, offering them token payments of £10 a month, commencing in Jan 2018. You've not got a surplus so you're not a good candidate for a DMP - this has already been explained to you.
b) In Jan 2018, I borrow 25k from family, and pay off all other creditors.
c) I continue to make token payments on the loan in 2018 & 2019 = (£240 total)
d) In Jan 2020, I take out a DRO against the 20k loan and write it off (or if funds allow, I short settle it at 14k if I can save this money in 2018-2019.

What this option gives me in two years of flexibility, where I can continue to live normally and earn money to repay my family.

I spoke to the loan company yesterday to see if I could set up a DMP directly with them, which they agreed too, but they said they would not be able to guarantee they would not still default my account as the token payments were not enough to support this. So this will be a marker on my credit file for 6 years.

What could possibly happen is due to this, all other lenders will remove or reduce my credit facilities, so am I paying them off for no logical reason? Borrowing money to pay money is never advised, I have been told.

I know its easy for everyone to say just go bankrupt, but its never a clean break. I will have 2-3 years BRO of repaying back a % of my surplus income, which could potentially be a lot of money.

I think what you thought was going to happen here was that you'd post in here and we'd all pat you on the back and tell you how you get away without any pain in this - but life's not like that. You've been given SO much good advice here but you're just talking yourself round in circles and ignoring it all.

I'm going to disagree with the "go bankrupt" argument now I'm afraid. Go out, get yourself that 30k a year job you've said is sitting there waiting for you. Pay back every last penny of your debt - and then the additional amount that you will have gained by that stage through continuing to use your cards. I'd say feel free to come back here when you're even deeper in the poo but there's really no point is there, you don't want the right answers, just the ones that suit you.

You don’t NEED credit. People live every day without it. You save and use that instead when wanting things. Get rid of the cards or you will carry on and get to a point where no credit company will touch you for a long time.

I'm confused here now. As a recovering gambler I can just going to tell you what I think.


You need to block yourself from all websites. The problem is when you have one that's open even if you have a 20 quid max deposit then you will always have the temptation to find another online casino to feed the habit. Unless you have some firewall preventing you from gambling and this also includes gambling on the phone.


Last point, erm your family is okay to lend you 20k I mean certainly that would be a really hard and long conversation

I am so sorry that you are in such pain due to gambling...

DO NOT BORROW THE 25K

I know from personal experience that this is the wrong thing to do. We have bailed a family member out on a number of occassions costing thousands and I decided after speaking to someone on the phone at Gamblers Anonymous that its the worse thing to do is to lend money to a gambler.

The man in question said his mother bailed him out so many times and the day she said to him..I AM GIVING YOU NO MORE MONEY .. is the day he realised he had to do something about his situation.

I had to watch someone literally fall to pieces knowing they had no back up funding...it near killed me to be honest but I knew I was doing the best thing. It broke my heart no other way to say it but I knew by letting this person feel the pain, the shame and the utter despair that I was in the long run helping him...I can still see his face ... it hurts me still.
He is working hard in a good career which we gladly helped him financially and paying an amount of with Stepchange every month. His credit is shot ... he was accepted by a bank to have an account with no overdraft so when his money is gone its gone, no backup funds BELONGING TO SOMEONE ELSE to turn to.... a lesson painfully learnt.

STOP destroying your families peace by your behaviouR because that is what you are doing. You have now to realise and acknowledge the pain you are causing others by involving them in your mistakes.

You cannot work so you must go bankrupt...there isnt any other option !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I say all this with the deepest respect and I feel for you but please please acknowledge what a mess YOU have created for yourself. Handle it by getting help with a debt charity and take the knock on your pride, credit history etc.

So you wont have THAT piece of plastic in your wallet. Get over it face up and sort yourself out. You are worth more than this. The person who is willing to SACRIFICE 25k loves you please LOVE YOURSELF. RESPECT YOURSELF.... TAKING this money from them (is this a parent?) is wrong and you know it but for you its a quick fix..I know I have been there and thought by bailing him out that he would change but no pain no gain.

Please do not TAKE THIS MONEY. It takes a very long time to earn and save 25k why should you just walk in and TAKE IT.

YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SOMEDAY YOU WILL LOOK BACK AND REALISE THAT THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BETTER YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND AND PROGRESS IN LIFE IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND YOU ARE IN A MESS

I wish you nothing but peace of mind and a realisation that you have problems. I still worry about HIM I still think what if he gambles again.

God bless and take care of yourself. Please contact GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS.