Using annual leave for emergency’s

Sophielooloo wrote: »

There may not be a thing as registered disabled but seeming as she is it means that I can have parental leave in single days not blocks.
I didn’t mean Acas said I can take my appointments unpaid, they said I am allowed time off in an emergency unpaid. They said yes if it’s possible to arrange childcare that’s ideal but if she’s in a serious way in ICU I’m not going to arrange for a family member to sit with her instead of me. It’s never more than 2 days in fact normally just the 1 day, as soon as she’s out of any immediate danger I go back to work

And that's fine. I'd make the same choice. But it isn't an emergency for two days. So the employer is perfectly entitled to dictate how that leave is accounted for. There isn't any "ideal" about it - you are permitted time to arrange for someone else only. The problem here is that you want it all. You want to take one or two days unpaid when you need them. You want to take all your holidays, and when you want to take them. You want to work full time. What about what the employer wants - which will almost certainly be wanting their employee not being absent from work on a regular basis? Your demands are one sided. This appears to have had the effect of them running out of flexibility.

If your daughter is that important, and I'm sure she is, then you need to reevaluate the value of being a full time employee when you have such significant demands during working time. If having full time work is more important then you actually need to work full time. And that means not expecting the employer to do all the giving.

If you can't compromise, then this isn't likely to end happily. Please understand that significant amounts of time off, even for someone with needs associated with disability, are still significant amounts of time off - and employers are entitled to manage that as a capability issue.

I think you are misunderstanding something. The employer doesn't care what your problems are. They don't care about your caring responsibilities. They don't care about whether you can afford your bills and mortgage. They don't care about what anyone else does, in your opinion. They care that you are at work when you should be at work because that is what you are paid to be. You are on about what you think your rights are. You being at work and doing your job is their right!

And it doesn't say you are allowed unlimited reasonable time off - you missed out the bit that says "to make arrangements for care", not to provide it yourself. It's "reasonable time off, unpaid, to arrange for care".

But you have decided what you think you are going to have, and your employer gets no say in the matter. There's no negotiation, and you don't actually want advice unless it tells you what you want to hear. This will very likely end badly. I'm out. No point telling you what you don't want to be told.