Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

BrassicWoman · 2 January 2018 at 10:11PM

I was kindly gifted a gel nail set over the holidays so have just put on a lovely taupe ready for work. Hopefully it will last over a week as promised! I love how evenly it sets, not a ridge to be seen, and how fast it dries with the LED compared to traditional varnish. Might be onto a winner....

Dress picked out for work tomorrow as opposed to usual black trousers and jersey top.

Next up in glam; early night, worth a million pounds of serum.

Floss · 2 January 2018 at 10:52PM

sashybo wrote: »

...My DS then decided to wake up & have had to leave him crying as he just wants me to hold him all the time. He is 7 months old and very stubborn, have been sitting listening to him cry for 20 minutes so far & feeling terrible. Last time he cried for over an hour before I gave in. Some nights he just doesn't want to be on his own in his cot.

Would he settle if you were in his room, maybe do some yoga & relaxation with him?

chanie · 2 January 2018 at 11:10PM

sashybo I remember those early years, they are tough. I’m not criticising your choices as a parent, but if you feel terrible leaving him to cry, maybe you shouldn’t. There will be lots of well meaning people tellin you to let him cry it out and that you’ll be spoiling him if you give in, but if it doesn’t feel right, go to him.

Bras sic women well done on your gel nails.

Lainey good luck on the job front

sashybo · 2 January 2018 at 11:15PM

Floss, he tends to quieten down as soon as I go into see him so that might work, thanks. I caved in about 5 mins after posting & went into see him.

Just helped him get into a comfy position & gave him his zebra back that he likes to cuddle and rubbed his back a bit and he settled down. Still took him a while to drift off but at least he had calmed down. Hate leaving him to cry & it doesn’t seem to work for either of us!

Chanie, that’s why I tried leaving him to cry - my mum, my sister & my brother all told me to do it (3,4 & 2 kids respectively) and that he would learn to settle down but he’s very stubborn and just keeps crying! My DH then thinks I’m being too soft if I go in. :cool: I’ve tried it a couple of times & it just doesn’t work for us, he’s always loved being held or having someone nearby, sometimes I think he just needs that reassurance that I’m still there.

chanie · 2 January 2018 at 11:42PM

sasheybo I remember feeling overwhelmed with all of the different advice I was getting from people. I bet the majority of people give advice that they themselves didn’t follow. My children loved being held and it did become annoying when I could get stuff done or wanted 5 minutes to myself, but they’ll grow out of it. I assume your DS must be either crawling or on the verge of becoming mobile, so it won’t be long before he’ll be off the exploring.

sashybo · 3 January 2018 at 12:57AM

Thanks Chanie, yes my DS has always loved being held, I literally couldn’t put him down for the first 6 weeks or he would just scream!

He’s a lot better now so hopefully he’ll get over the cot thing soon. He’s not been well recently & just seems to be catching one thing after another so has been more clingy as well.

I know people just want to help as I’m a new mum but as you say it can be overwhelming & I think a lot of it really depends on the baby themselves - some are just more needy than others.

Yes he’s rolling about the floor but not really bothered about trying to crawl yet. He can sit up by himself but can’t be bothered for more than a minute and just throws himself backwards.

Worrying about the baby takes up so much energy! No wonder I’m feeling more frump than fab! At least I’ve not let my skincare slide, always feel rubbish if my skin isn’t cleansed & moisturised.

Forgive me for taking over the thread with baby talk fabbers, I know it can get dull.

lessonlearned · 3 January 2018 at 3:30AM

I deliberately didn’t offer any baby advice because I know from my own experience that everyone wants to chip in with their tuppence worth. It can be very irritating and upsetting when well meaning relatives try and tell you how “things should be done” . Rubbish.

I will say just a few things.....

1. you are the mother, not them. They have had their own babies and did it their way. Now it’s your turn, your baby so do it your way. Do what feels right, trust your instincts and you won’t go far wrong.

2. Babies were invented before books.

3. Babies are not an amorphous blob. Every one of them is unique. Some sleep easily, some don’t. Some are faddy eaters, some are clingy, some are placid and easygoing, some are anxious. Some need more security and cuddles than others.

And if your little one has been a bit off it then he’s bound to want cuddles.

Have you ever noticed in more “primitive” societies.....hate that expression because I don’t see the people as being inferior to us in the West. But have you noticed how they carry the baby around with them all the time, strapped to their backs. They don’t have prams, pushchairs or cots. And the baby just sleeps with it’s parents.

I had a baby sling and just carried my babies around with me if they were fractious. They loved it. And yes they often slept in our bed if they were a bit off it or wanted cuddles, especially the older one who had asthma. He often had breathing difficulties at night, sleeping with us helped him relax and breath more easily, plus of course my husband and I could monitor him and make sure he was ok.

And no, you haven’t bored us with baby talk, or at least you haven’t bored me. Those of us who have had children can remember how difficult it can be. Anyway I adore children. I am going to be a first time grandmother this year (at last). It’s been a long wait.......

Well done on keeping up the skin care routines. When my eldest was a baby there were days I barely had time to brush my teeth......

I must have looked (and smelt) dreadful. :rotfl:

maman · 3 January 2018 at 12:59PM

Just to chip in and say I'm not bored with the baby talk either. All I would say is that I don't think you should feel it's wrong not to let a child take over your life. It's not just babies that are individuals with needs and wants but so are older children and adults. I think you should try to find a way of life that suits the baby and the rest of the family. Obviously it will change over time with changing needs.

That's just a general comment sashy as it seems that you are making an effort to keep up with your skincare and exercise etc. Otherwise you wouldn't have joined the thread.:D

I, too, love that handbag chanie. They may sell out soon if Lainey and I get there first!;)

I'm pondering hard on a specific word for 2018. I have negative words that describe how I don't want to be like procrastinate and drift.:o

My problem is that I gave up full time work some years ago, have done part time for about 10 years and since Easter other than the odd day I've been weaning off all but a bit of occasional voluntary stuff. I know, for many, that wouldn't be a problem at all. It's quite an envious position. The trouble is that I can't rid myself of the work ethic and I get dissatisfied with myself if I don't do anything (that I consider) constructive with my time. I could volunteer but I've avoided replacing one job with another IYSWIM. Forgive me thinking aloud but I wanted to share the way my thoughts are going.:)

Meanwhile I'm keeping up with all the fabbing routines I've introduced over time thanks to this thread. Today I plan to get a notebook to record my meal plans. I always write one (on a scrap of paper and throw it away each week) but I think it'll be useful to keep a record. I've kept to my ideal weight for 6+ years and it's good to know which menus suit me best.

Have a good day all.:)

lessonlearned · 3 January 2018 at 1:13PM

About half way through the packing. Kitchen drying out nicely,doesn’t appear to be any long term damage,

I’m off out to meet a friend for lunch today. Dressed for warmth. Jeans, boots and one of my nice new pure wool cowl neck sweaters. A lovely dark olive green. I really like the colour. Got my hair booked. For tomorrow morning and steroid injection tomorrow night.

4 more sleeps....;)

sashybo · 3 January 2018 at 1:58PM

LL thanks for your thoughts, I think I’ve mostly managed to do the things that felt right with DS (so far) but sometimes feel the pressure of the things you “should” be doing - who decides these things anyway? That’s not even getting started on the things the baby “should” be doing according to some people/books etc.

I’ve already been told I was spoiling the baby by holding him too much! :rotfl: Luckily I knew that wasn’t possible - he was a tiny baby at that point! The midwives & health visitors also told me to ignore this as they said you can’t spoil a baby with too much love. I already thought this but was glad of the reassurance. When you think of the things the midwives & health visitors must see with people who can’t/don’t care for their babies as they should you can understand why they say that.

Maman yes I don’t want to get to the stage where I’m neglecting myself for the sake of DS & DH. I can already see how easy it would be to put myself last and I don’t want that as don’t think it’s healthy for any of us.

I already feel that it’s easier for DH as he mostly just seems to do what he wants/did before DS was born whereas I always have to think about who will watch the baby etc. Not that my DH doesn’t help, he is very hands on and does encourage me to go out with my friends whilst he has DS but having a baby seems to have had less impact on him overall if that makes sense.

LL you must be getting excited about your holiday now. Your new jumper sounds a lovely colour, I like greens - my favourite is dark forest green but it seems a difficult colour to find.

Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings

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