Leaving Estate to a spendthrift son.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

If you were to leave it in trust, what would you see happening to the main fund if your son were to die without a wife or children to inherit? What if he had children but those children grew up to be spendthrifts too?

I think you have to accept that once you are gone, if your son is to inherit, then the estate should become his to do with as he wants. You won't be around to see it, and you won't be hurt if he does decide to put it all on red. That's ultimately his choice. You'll be dead.

That's one advantage of dealing with it while alive you can get the pleasure of seeing it used wisely or stop giving if not.

A roof over his head may be a decent option to start with, but that just gives him more of his own money to fritter away if so inclined.

Perhaps rather than worrying about what he may be doing is support any aspirations for his future life and assist as best you can from your life experiences.



There is that saying when you see wayward kids and young adults, blame the parents.

GM4L's post is quite right, though it is hard to change from saver to spender! after all that is how much of the money was accumulated

Since realising that we were over the IHT threshold, I have bought two cars - still can't somehow buy new ones but they were still a lot more than I have spent on a car!

triplea35 wrote: »

He assures me that he only has small flutters on Blackjack but is very secretive about his day to day spending so hard to know.

And why shouldn't he be? As long as he isn't coming to you asking for money on a regular basis what has his spending got to do with you? Do you discuss your finances with him?

I agree with your wife, you're being far too controlling here. You either want to give your son an inheritance or you don't. If you don't then either spend it or give it to some other party. If you do it should be his to do with as he wishes. In all honesty what some people consider a 'sensible' use of money others would consider a waste.

I'm somewhat in your sons position. I know nothing is set in stone but I could potentially inherit a lot of money in the future and I certainly wouldn't describe myself as a saver. I'm not totally stupid with money mind, I'm currently saving for a house and don't drink or gamble that much. My main vice is travelling. I'm also an only child and have no plans to have children of my own. I'd be pretty upset if it came across that my parents didn't trust me to make my own decisions and frankly I'd resent the control.

In all honesty I'd like to think if a family member left me a sum of money in a will they'd want me to enjoy at least a portion of it, either on a holiday or buying myself something I don't really need. I'd enjoy this 'gift' from the family member and it would be a good way to remember them.

I do agree with a number of other posters as well though. It's your money, enjoy it.

Gers wrote: »

Spend on what you both want! A couple of years ago I was flying out to Australia to attend the funeral of a nephew aged 34, the son of my late brother. One of the other people on the plane said to me something along the lines of 'always fly first class otherwise your heirs will'!

If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd met my parents New expensive cars, and first class to Australia, they're busy spending it all before I get it

Sounds like he isn't living his life or managing his finances in a way that you approve of. That he might not appreciate how hard you've worked & careful you've been to accumulate your money & attain a good standard of living.

So you want to control him from the grave, teach him how money should be managed........& that you neither trust nor respect him, your son who you supposedly love.

He's 27, has a demanding responsible job, has just come out of a long term relationship, unwinds having a few drinks, socialising & a flutter in a casino - perhaps because it's different to his "hospitality" job? 27, not his mid 60's & a mini you!

You disapprove of his choices, he knows it & has become secretive, making you disapprove even more.

Drink, drugs, crime, violent towards you or his mum, irresponsible, lazy, relying on handouts from the state or from you. No mention of any of that.

What is the matter with you. Enjoy what you've worked for, & when you're gone just leave it to your son. I wonder how he would feel if he discovered you'd come up with financial plans to teach him a lesson in good financial management for when you die.