Having children but sure if you really want to.

Monika87 · 15 May 2019 at 1:51PM

I've been having doubts about kids for 4-5 years. I want kids, but I don't want to sacrifice all life to them.

meer53 · 15 May 2019 at 2:08PM

andydownes123 wrote: »

Where did I say that I think it does? :think:

Kids...ha...I'd rather have the above

This means you think you have to choose.

charlotte1994 · 15 May 2019 at 2:11PM

I feel the same!! I value my quiet and my freedom so much more. I feel like I would be a terrible parent. I get very cranky and stressed when I am around people for too long. Having kids would be a nightmare for me

mikeeboy · 15 May 2019 at 3:42PM

95% hassle & stress, 5% joyful. It'll also cost you a fortune.

A lot of people still think that 5% is still worth it though.

Simby · 15 May 2019 at 4:05PM

I also decided not to have kids.. I never felt any urge to have kids at all... and tbh I value my lifestyle too much , looking at friends and colleagues with kids it seems hugely draining and you need to be a very selfless person to be a good parent

Marvel1 · 15 May 2019 at 4:55PM

meer53 wrote: »

I'm sure you're very happy. I also know people who have all that (and more) and have children too. Having children doesn't mean you have to give up these things, why do you think it does ?

I know not aimed at myself but in general you would give it up - even if for a few years.

andydownes123 wrote: »

- Two foreign holidays a year, plus two camping trips and lots of weekends away - it will cost more as paying for the child, if you go term time now it will cost more during half term
- Don't answer to anyone and do as I bloody well please - you can do what you want without kids, don't see how that won't change
- Friday and Saturday night is dinner at restaurant / gigs / pub - you have children they can't stay on their own

pollypenny · 15 May 2019 at 5:05PM

mikeeboy wrote: »

95% hassle & stress, 5% joyful. It'll also cost you a fortune.

A lot of people still think that 5% is still worth it though.

Some people must have awful kids, then!

There's nothing like cuddling up reading a story with a little head on your shoulder; listening to them learn to speak usually coming up with funny versions of grammar and their language developing.

I wish we'd had more than two, although financially it was the correct decision to stop at two.

Poor_Single_lady · 15 May 2019 at 7:15PM

I often think peoples brains change when they have kids and they never again view things the same way.

My sisters child is quite naughty and I have to bite my lip because she doesn’t view it in the same way. He is her perfect prince so if he wants to throw food on the wall that’s ok- not a big deal. Prior to having kids she would have sworn blind she would never put up with that.

I am 1 of 5. I absolutely cannot believe the people that say that have 3 kids and their house isn’t a noisy war zone. But then again your perspective as a mum is completely different to that of a non-mum.

Just please don’t have kids and then start posting about how it’s much harder than you expected. I never understand why so many people say this. My friends always say that had “no idea” how hard it was. Really??? How Did you not notice that being a parent is hard and sometimes horrible?

IMHO childless people are more fun (and seem to be happier). New parents look like they have been run over with a bulldozer.

Claddagh_Noir · 15 May 2019 at 7:29PM

We have never wanted children either. Nor do we regret our decision. We both have friends who had had heart-to-hearts with us regretting being parents but on their social media, they profess they love parenthood. I had a friend who openly admitted she wanted to abort all her children! We are not about that fakery. When I tell people I do not want children, they are usually parents themselves, they reply with 'I don't blame you'

We love our freedom and the chance and luxury to do nothing and relax. Most parents cannot wait to get a sitter to have the pleasure of having a little bit of peace and quiet.

As someone else has said above, only yourself and your partner can make the choice about children. Bear in mind, it won't be a walk in the park, so ignore all the sweetness and light happy pics on social media and it will definitely change the dynamics of your relationship, if you and/or your partner love being the number one priority in each other's lives, that will diminish.

I do not hate children, they are innocent and were not asked to be born. When colleagues bring them into work, I am always the first to want to hold them and everyone is shocked because my co-workers know I do not want children. The only thing I do not like about kids and the like is how SOME parents can be with them, using them as pawns or weapons, manipulating them or pushing their issues on their children, for instance, if one parent had a horrible childhood then they impose that horrible childhood on the next generation.

Actually, come to think of it, if you are questioning it, it's a big red flag. Don't do it.

Claddagh_Noir · 15 May 2019 at 7:43PM

pollypenny wrote: »

Don't you love your children?

I can assure you that time flies and they'll be gone before you know it.

I doubt she doesn't love her children, she probably hates motherhood. It's quite common and I empathize with that completely. .

It must be like being in a job that you hate.

Having children but sure if you really want to.

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