Single Dad with new Partner, Need advice about mortgage etc.

DiegoGarcia · 1 November 2019 at 9:47AM

Morning Folks,

I'll try to keep this short and simple and giving you all the important details.
So I have a son (6 years old) with my ex, and just over 3 years ago I got myself a one bed flat, suitable for all my needs bought it for 85k and so far I've paid off 14 k plus the 13 k deposit. Outsanding mortgage is now roughly 58k . Which I've thought has been pretty good in 3 years, considering I am on a pretty average wage and living alone.

So I need some advice when it comes to a new partner, I am now in a relationship with a lovely girl and we have been seeing each other for almost a year now. We have agreed that she will move in with me when her lease is up at her own flat (which she doesn't own). I have asked her to contribute towards bills , food shopping etc, but that I don't want her to pay anything off my mortgage while she is living here.

However, my concern is about what happens if we split up, what would happen to my mortgage and my property that I've invested in. We have spoke about working and living together and saving up a deposit together for a bigger place in the future, one that we would both own.
Another scenario that I've thought about is what would happen if we got married while we still live in my place and then the marriage broke down ? If it's just my name on the mortgage what would happen to my flat? Obviously I need somewhere to live with my son , at times when I have him, I would not be looking to sell my flat if a relationship or marriage broke up. Just need some advice.
Also, just to add to this I live in Scotland, I'm not sure if the laws would be different regarding divorce or settlement in property at the break up of a relationship. I just really need to make sure that I'm protected before committing to something that could potentially ruin things for me and my child.

Comms69 · 4 November 2019 at 10:52AM

DiegoGarcia wrote: »

Morning Folks,

I'll try to keep this short and simple and giving you all the important details.
So I have a son (6 years old) with my ex, and just over 3 years ago I got myself a one bed flat, suitable for all my needs bought it for 85k and so far I've paid off 14 k plus the 13 k deposit. Outsanding mortgage is now roughly 58k . Which I've thought has been pretty good in 3 years, considering I am on a pretty average wage and living alone.

So I need some advice when it comes to a new partner, I am now in a relationship with a lovely girl and we have been seeing each other for almost a year now. We have agreed that she will move in with me when her lease is up at her own flat (which she doesn't own). I have asked her to contribute towards bills , food shopping etc, but that I don't want her to pay anything off my mortgage while she is living here. - very sensible. Half of bills, nothing in 'rent'

However, my concern is about what happens if we split up, what would happen to my mortgage and my property that I've invested in. We have spoke about working and living together and saving up a deposit together for a bigger place in the future, one that we would both own. - nothing, as long as, there's no contribution to mortgage. That said, any claim would not be automatic in any case.
Another scenario that I've thought about is what would happen if we got married while we still live in my place and then the marriage broke down ? - same as any divorce If it's just my name on the mortgage what would happen to my flat? - in Scotland, nothing, otherwise it would be in the 'pot' for assets to be split. Obviously I need somewhere to live with my son , at times when I have him, I would not be looking to sell my flat if a relationship or marriage broke up. Just need some advice.
Also, just to add to this I live in Scotland, I'm not sure if the laws would be different regarding divorce or settlement in property at the break up of a relationship. - they are, your property would be exempt. I just really need to make sure that I'm protected before committing to something that could potentially ruin things for me and my child.

To be fair, as long as you don't accept any 'rent', then you're fine. Suggest she saves her 'rent' money and then if you decide to buy together she has a pot to put into the purchase

DiegoGarcia · 6 November 2019 at 9:27AM

I guess my main concern would be if we got married, still lived in the 1 bed Flat that I own, My name is on the mortgage, I have to this point paid off 27k of the mortgage (still owing the bank back 58k).

Hypothetically if we split (not that i can see this happening!!!) after say 3 or 4 months, would I then have to sell my flat in the event of a split and go 50/50 ??? Potentially making myself homeless with a young child???
I know this seems like there might not be a great deal of trust, but i have a son and myself to think about, it hardly seems fair if someone can go into a marriage pay maybe 2-3 thousand pounds of a mortgage and then get half the property value, can someone help me and tell me what would happen in the event if a marriage did break down in this situation???

Maybe I am worrying too much about a situation that might never happen, but I'm just trying to be cautious before committing to something that would devastate me and leave me in a mess if it went sour.

Comms69 · 6 November 2019 at 11:21AM

DiegoGarcia wrote: »

I guess my main concern would be if we got married, still lived in the 1 bed Flat that I own, My name is on the mortgage, I have to this point paid off 27k of the mortgage (still owing the bank back 58k).

Hypothetically if we split (not that i can see this happening!!!) after say 3 or 4 months, would I then have to sell my flat in the event of a split and go 50/50 ??? Potentially making myself homeless with a young child??? No. In Scotland the rules are different anyway, in that some assets from before marriage are exempt; it would be the a short marriage anyway.
I know this seems like there might not be a great deal of trust, but i have a son and myself to think about, it hardly seems fair if someone can go into a marriage pay maybe 2-3 thousand pounds of a mortgage and then get half the property value, can someone help me and tell me what would happen in the event if a marriage did break down in this situation??? - Almost certainly the assets would be split as per the situation when you got married. There is no automatic 50/50 split anyway, that is just the starting position; but that is when a marriage is considered 'long' (4-5+ years). In Scotland like I said the rules are different anyway

Maybe I am worrying too much about a situation that might never happen, but I'm just trying to be cautious before committing to something that would devastate me and leave me in a mess if it went sour.

Since you are not married or engaged, I think you have plenty of time to decide what you want.

Senseicads · 12 February 2020 at 3:28PM

When I moved in with my, now, fiancée, we remortgaged and I was put on the deeds. As part of that we signed a declaration of trust which protected her current share of the ownership she had paid into while acknowledging that I then owned half the remaining mortgage. I came out roughly owning a third of the house, as she had a third of the house in equity. Its worked out well. When we get married and remortgage again we have discussed going more 50/50 as we have now sunk a huge amount of money into refurbing but that's a decision still to make. :-) hope that helps?

george4064 · 12 February 2020 at 4:09PM

I think you are spot on with thinking about how you can protect yourself and your son, I was in a similar-ish situation to you where I owned my flat with a mortgage and my girlfriend was moving in with me. We agreed the following:

1. She would contribute half to all bills (excluding mortgage)
2. She would pay the equivalent to 1/2 the cost of renting my flat (using actual rental data available) into a savings account, if we eventually buy together that money becomes 'ours' and goes into the next property. If we break up she takes that money with her.

The key part is that my girlfriend is not paying me any money, so she wouldn't have any grounds to say she has contributed towards the mortgage.

Single Dad with new Partner, Need advice about mortgage etc.

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