I personally think it's a great idea if the original thread has now been locked


Today I was changing the bedding. Now I have a super king size bed and usually hubby helps as the mattress is just so heavy ( took 3 guys to get it up the stairs) but today I was on my own

Seriously the mattress weighs a ton. I also have a frozen shoulder which really isn't fun but the bed needed changing and I had to cope on my own

Took near on an hour, three broken nails and a seriously iffy back. But I got there

I ended up having to lift one corner of the mattress, then step on the bed frame so the mattress was supported my my knee and thigh, then pull the mattress on that side so it rested on the foot board. The. Run round to do the other side. All that so I could fit the bottom sheet and top sheet lol

With the duvet I managed with the help of a lot of pegs

Now I know why mum has a single bed

Hello Suki . I was intending to log out earlier but could not get to do so . I had an "oh I broke the thread moment " but was about to try again when I noticed your reply . The first thread was quite a few years ago and I don't know if it ever was locked but I know all of the threads on this subject were not being posted on when I last checked .
I have been thinking for some time that I wished someone would start one again as many on the threads have challenges but lots of useful ways and means to share which are more accessible in one thread . I just never thought I would be the one to bite the bullet !
I hope you have a restful night in your nice clean bed and you've put your first strategy on the thread already
polly

With a duvet, if you get fatigued or you're not very strong (or just short, like me), try this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1IzS2oBBN0

Turn your duvet cover inside out and spread it out on top of the sheets with the opening on the far side (away from you).

Spread the duvet over the top - I put a couple of stitches in each corner to keep it in place.

Roll up the duvet and duvet cover - working towards the opening.

When it's all rolled up, pull the opening over the roll - like rolling together socks, and do up the buttons.

Unroll the duvet.

I have to outsource a lot of homemaking and cooking now. But my tips would be

1. To buy any equipment which will make life easier. I bought lighter saucepans, easigrip knives and a stool for the kitchen, and use my recently acquired soup maker and my slow cooker
2. Not to beat myself up over shortcuts. If I need to buy pre prepared veg or ready made pastry to make a nutritious meal, that's still better than ordering a pizza
3. It's not worth making yourself ill or tired - most jobs can wait until you have some help or can be prioritised. I wouldn't be able to change a bed like Suki did, and wouldn't even try. I'd either wait for my OH to get home to do it, or I'd just put a couple of top sheets one over the fitted sheet and one under the duvet. If I overdo things I will be out of action for days afterwards so it really isn't ever worth it
4. When you are well enough, cook double with one for the freezer for bad days but don't waste all your energy on housework. You need to enjoy the good days too, and if you can get out and have some fun, you should do
5. I shop for almost everything on the Internet, and have a delivery pass so I can order as many grocery deliveries as I need in a week without being charged more. I also order prescriptions online, and pay all my bills over the phone or using online banking.

Good Morning and thank you for the posts so far .
Suki I do like the peg idea . I confess I would not have dared try your bed making idea . A few years ago I would do anything to get a job done but I have after many years made myself stop and look at what the result would be - flare and pain .
Earlier this year I literally hit the floor and was very unwell for quite some time . I have had to work on finding a balance between just doing things regardless or finding another way .
I make a list at the weekend for the week ahead of the have to tasks like medical appointments etc . I then sort home tasks in order of priority . It is very hard to no longer be able to just be the person who used to do it all and this is a problem for many as it has an impact on your self esteem and feelings of self worth . It is why depression and anxiety can develop and the black dog begins to visit us .
For the first time I have over the past few months admitted to family members that I am finding it hard to cope and can not always make the visits and days out . At first they were shocked but they are coming round to the idea that pacing myself and listening to my body is the only way .
Ariana That is a brilliant way to manage a duvet cover - I just need the fibro brain to process the steps
Nicki Such a lot of good pointers there . I use the use Good Grips potato and veg peelers but I peel as little as possible . I love mash but don't make it so often , when I do I put another saucepan or large bowl next the potato pan on the hob and drain the potatoes into a large colander or my big pan top steamer using a slotted spoon ( it took too many scalds and dropped pans before I worked that one out ! ) I use the good grips masher to mash the potatoes as the ricer is far too hard to use now . The fashion for crushed potato is to my mind the best thing ever . I can crush far easier than mash
Well I have to go out soon , hope to see you later .
Take care polly

pollyanna this is a brilliant idea for a thread! I have fibromyalgia(and possibly M.E) so I get exhausted after washing up and have to sit down for 30 mins to recover. I am still very new to all this being ill stuff but I do as much as I can sitting down. I peel veg sitting down. I iron sitting down. I try to spread out tasks eg this morning I fed the animals, then had a cup of tea, then made porridge, then sat down to eat it, then got dressed while the kids got dressed, then sat down again while they were getting washed and brushing teeth. I left the bins until after I had come back from school. The had a cup of tea. Then washed up. sat down to chop veg for soup. Stayed in the kitchen while it came to a boil. Now I'm sat at the computer desk on here and will stay here as long as I need.
There are things I can't do. I can't manage the garden. I can't manage the hoovering at the moment-it makes my back spasm.I can use a broom if I do it slowly. I can't lift anything heavy. I have to be careful chopping things-sometimes my hands go numb so I won't even try it then.
I can't change the sheets on any of the beds. The kids do that for me.
I drain potatoes the same way as you do pollyanna-too many times I lost them in the sink or got hot water on me LOL.

Thank you for "biting the bullet" and starting the thread, Pollyanna.

Also many thanks to Ariarnia for the duvet info; it's one of the jobs I leave to Mr LW, but if he was incapacitated for any reason I'd have to find a way to manage. He was in hospital for 4 days a while back, and I spent the entire time wearing kaftans, those being the only garments I could put on unaided!

I have lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, and like others here, suffer greatly with pain and fatigue; thankfully Mr LW is a helpful chap who always does the tasks he's asked to without complaining but I do like to try and do at least some things myself!

I have a weekly cleaning list, and we try between us to get through it, deleting tasks as they get done (it's on the computer) - anything that doesn't get done is then prioritised the following week.

I meal-plan a few days ahead, always allowing for the possibility of swapping days around, so if I feel ghastly, instead of (for instance) Qu0rn fillets in white wine sauce, we'll have the jacket spuds and beans I'd planned for the following day, and move the fillets up a day. If that made sense.

Little things like using a plastic jug to fill the kettle are helpful - an item doesn't have to be mega expensive, or labelled "for the disabled" to make life easier

Anyways, Mr LW is just making our lunch so I shall shut up now; but I will watch (and hopefully contribute to) the thread with interest.

I am grateful for this thread as well :-)

My life used to be full of little OS ways. But to cut a long story very short, a couple of years ago I had a major life change, followed by a breakdown. I suffered (and still do) with PTSD, severe anxiety and depression. My life crumbled around me and I just let go of things completely. I stopped taking care of myself or my home, it all became unmanageable to me, and I ended up homeless for a short while.

I have a little HA flat now, and I really don't want to let things slide again. It is difficult though. At the moment I just do what I can, when I can. I don't have much to offer in the way of practical advice, but I will pass on a list my counsellor and I made together. We made it as a list with bullet points, but to me one point logically flows to the next if you see what I mean.

• Don't compare how you live to how other people do. Your lives and circumstances are unlikely to be the same, and anyway, it's not a competition.
• If it is acceptable to you (even if not ideal) that is enough.
• Don't be your own worst critic. Your success or failure as a human being does not rest on how perfect your home is or how often you cook from scratch.
• There are very few household tasks that can't be postponed, and lots can be put off indefinitely, if needs be.
• Focus on what you DO manage, not what you don't. Keep a 'done' list rather than a 'to do' list if you need to
• Don't be afraid to ask for help, nor to accept it if it is offered.
• If people want to judge but not help, you can safely ignore them. This includes your own internal 'voice'.

I know this probably is more applicable to mental health than physical, and possibly only to me personally, but I am putting it out there in case anyone else finds it useful. My counsellor made and talked through it together, and it sounds crazy but I have it in my journal right next to my list of regular household tasks. I find it helpful to have them written down in black and white, and I read them when it all feels too much. Especially as I know that I am by far my own worst critic.

Really pleased you started this thread Polly. Thank you, it's greatly appreciated x

I was diagnosed, though their still not sure with fibo earlier this year. Got doloxeitine (sp?) for it and it really helps with the nerve pain. Not so much with the osteoarthritis... I've just to get on and live with this as see they it as the lest of my Heath issues. This is topped off with cocodamols and lamatrogine for my mood disorder. They thought I was bipolar for years but I have an erratic mood cycling, it can be quick. Then I have long episodes of depression on top that make me completely unfuntional.

The tips already posted are great. I like to keep things minimal and basic, organised and focus on priorities like my work, feeding us, keeping on top of the budget, and having a "functional home" etc.

Chronic fatigue and pain is hard to ope with. I'm ok at dealing with the mood disorder but it has an impact.

Gosh talk about too much info...oops!

Being old school / style is my saviour. Couldn't think of any better to live my life and thinking / attitude.

Menu planning is a must as is minimal, quick shopping. I can pick up a months storable basics at aldi in 20 mins. Cannot cope with huge supermarkets now! I'm about 10 mins for fresh top ups every 10 days or so.

Ironing doesn't matter. But I've learned a lot from the Kon Marie thread and apply it. It makes life easy.

If I'm exhausted I don't do it. Usually hubby 2nd marriage) does it. I'm happy to let the place go and do a bit more later when I have more energy.

Tin openers are a nightmare - I tend to buy ring pulls lol

My balance is awful, so I drop, break and bump into things a lot. I'm uber clumsy so I forgive myself, replace at charity shops for quality bits. I broke all my pretty ikea wine glasses recently and found 6 70s retro steel ones in a boat jumble for £2. I'm not going to break them.

You learn to live with bruises, bumps and knocks , my hubby calls me affectionately Captain Chaos haha. Between that and the breakages lol

Thank you all so much for your posts and advice. I'm sure as we go along we'll come up with many more

Larumbelle well done on getting your life back together - I can empathise, as I also have depression (been on anti-d's for 44 years now - and no that's not finger-stutter, it is forty-four), general anxiety disorder and social phobia. And I am, like you, my own worst critic. I think you have to say "If it was my best pal, would I criticise him/her like I'm doing to myself?"
And I loathe having to ask for help.

Thanks for sharing your list; I for one think it's extremely helpful.

Thank you for this and for the interesting replies. I have arthritis, and various back problems, and OH has arthritis and back, foot and knee problems.
I realised a few years ago I was having problems which would not get better, made several gradual changes in kitchen equipment, including getting rid of my beautiful Portmeirion plates, which were just too heavy to pick up. I now have light weight plain white ones. I also found using enamel casserole and roasting dishes, and individual bowls, helped prevent me dropping things so often.
I changed the heavy chairs in the kitchen for light weight ones. Only wish we could afford to get a sofa that I could move, we bought a big sofa and arm chairs before we developed problems.
We have just exchanged a small built in fridge, and separate deep freeze, for a mid size fridge freezer with lots more storage space, to cut down on shopping trips. I get a heavy grocery delivery monthly, so I don't have to carry heavy stuff, then shop for fruit, veg, bread etc as required.
Shopping can be a real trial, OH has a Blue Badge which does help a lot, but often disabled parking is full, or far from shop entrance. It is rare to find a seat provided that is not in a cafe, and we avoid crowded places because he gets around so slowly, and the stick gets in the way, we wouldn't dream of traveling by train anymore. Thank goodness for the internet!
This summer we made a nice patio, with container plants and bbq, and have stayed at home enjoying the nice summer and trying some bbq recipes. We probably fail to socialize enough, family do visit and hep but work away, and neighbours are all busy.
Thankfully we are still able to make plans and strategies.

Thank you :-) TBH I have had so much help to get my life back together I really cannot take much of the credit

I am very fortunate to have received much help and support from various people and places. You hear some awful horror stories where 'the system' doesn't work but I didn't experience anything like that. I have a wonderful counsellor through a local charity, and had a support worker from Salvation Army during my homeless spell who was just amazing. Even the council and DWP were helpful, something I never expected after reading about so many people's problems with them. I have a couple of true friends who have stuck by me, and I have a closer relationship with my family now, as they finally understand that what I am going through is 'real'. I can honestly say that while being homeless was one of the worst experiences in my life, it was also one of the most positive, as it showed me that there are some good people in the world. I honestly count my blessings every day.

But of course there are also people who think, that's great, so why aren't you better already then? I try not to let that kind of ignorance bother me.

LOL my counsellor uses the 'would you think/say that about your friend?' argument all the time. So does my actual friend! But as you know, it is easy to tell yourself something that you know is rational, it is harder to feel it emotionally and actually believe it. It has taken me a long time to accept that terrible self-esteem and tendency to beat yourself up is part of the illness. I can only control it to a certain extent and if I start to hate myself for not being able to control it, I only make myself worse.

I am sorry that you have had to deal with it so long, but (sorry if this sounds clumsy, I don't know how to put it) I am glad that you have managed to get through it as long as you have. Because I know how much of a struggle every single day can be, but you have got through each one of them, so well done you :-)

Thanks so much for this thread. I have chronic pain in the left side of my face due to nerve damage from a neurological disease. I take a lot of meds for the pain and find I get tired so easily.
My tips would be to work out what is essential and what is not.
Pacing helps a great deal. I worked out what i can do and then taken away 15 mins of that time and do jobs with regular breaks. Can take ages to complete tasks, but they get done in the end. If I have a bad flare up of pain then I concentrate on that and all other stuff can wait.
And finally: Be kind to yourself!

Hi Guys,
We're set up a little differently here - we don't have any home delivery services so I use click and collect once a month in the city and shop locally each week. I cannot use a big trolly, just one of the wee ones, but this limits what I can purchase which is a bonus. Have looked at Amazon Pantry, but not sure if it would do us.

We have single duvets on the double bed - easier to change, and I just throw a couple of blankets over them in the colder weather if needed. In summer I use the old fashioned two sheets & a blanket - much easier to manage and cuts down on washing.
I've never been houseproud, but have a loose rotation now for covering the rooms - I can't vacuum but brush instead, and when I have visitors who offer to help I show them the vacuum cleaner :-)
My biggest problem is the garden - I try and grow a little fruit and veg, but if often gets away from me in the summer, particularly when the weather is bad and I can't get out. I'm going to try and re-arrange it over the winter to make it more productive and manageable. I have two chucks who do a bit of digging for me, which is helpful.

The other biggie for me is how long I'm going to be able to keep working, so trying hard to cut back even more to save a little for that day - doubt I'll make it to retirement.
WCS

What a brilliant tip. My mum is in her mid-eighties and waiting for a heart valve procedure to relieve some of her breathlessness. She's a full time carer for my stroke victim dad and currently changing the duvet cover is just a little beyond her breath capacity.

I'm popping up this weekend as this is one of the list of jobs she needs help with (she won't have a stranger help her in the house!). If this works, I might be able to stretch out visits a bit further...

I don't begrudge the visits, but I live a few hours away and it's not logistically practical to go up as often as the duvet cover needs changing!

Hello to you all and thank you for getting this little thread off to such a positive helpful and supportive start .
TMD lots of coping ways there . Hoovering is a dirty word in this house . Poor Henry has not had many outings for a while ! When the original e cloths went on sale a number of years ago I began to use them for windows , wiping , dusting and everything else I could think of . A few years ago I discovered the e cloth mop system . Apart from bedrooms , stairs and landing all other floors are hard with the various heads I can sweep , wash and dust skirtings , floors and ledges ( should I feel inclined . They are a bit of an outlay but os because they use only water and save storage , carrying home and are very good for the environment .
Hi to LW - I feel I have the royal seal of approval spoons heading your way .
I will need to take a little break been out all day - when I have to keep backspacing and punctuation goes haywire - Keith Waterstone would not be impressed it's time for a brew something edible and getting my brain running again .
Back later . Take care all and Larumbelle thank you for your honest post from your heart and your own experience . I hope this has opened up the subject of mh struggles . For many they either exist either alone or combined with physical struggles often due to one condition causing the other . Either way they impact on lives and need to have an outlet every bit as much as physical struggles .
polly

I agree and sympathise with those taking regular medication. At present I'm quite good, but definitely notice a difference in energy and mental alertness as soon as I take regular pain killers, or is it because of the pain?

OH is much better since I retired and could make sure he takes his meds and meals at regular times, he takes pills for high BP and was taking them at all hours.

I read recently that one way to combat sleep problems is to make sure you eat breakfast regularly at least 45 minutes after you get up, it ' sets your body clock' for the next 24 hours. I have been trying this (sleeplessness is a problem since I worked shifts for years) I am hoping it will help. I also potter outside doing a few jobs first thing, makes a nice start to the day.

It's good to read of others making plans to keep as normal as possible, and having useful OS habits is part of it. The prepping and ready for Christmas and winter forums are excellent, good ideas and reminders. Solidarity is a good feeling too.

Really handy thread. After 2-3 years of increasing pain, fatigue and concentration issues, with every test coming back clear and ever increasing amounts of medication, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and eventually too a career break from my incredibly stressful job. So we approached my 40th with me home full time and about £2.5k a month less in income ~ cue lots of OS ways.

Pacing became key to me and getting rid of anything that caused me undue stress or took too much effort. over time, I decluttered the house and broke housework into smaller chunks, sitting down to do things, or stopping doing certain tasks, e.g. ironing. Doing little and often was much more successful and I got a better sense of achievement (getting downstairs on my own some days was an achievement). Plus it was easier to keep on top of with the boom/bust cycle of doing too much and paying for it for days. I got an easy to use hoover, got a mop with built in spray to avoid carrying buckets around for cleaning.

Things like the slow cooker have been godsends. It means I can use cheaper cuts of meat, if using, and only have to prep the veg once for a few days worth of meals, if I'm feeling rubbish. I batch cook when well and freeze the leftovers, so always have a quick, tasty meal in. We bought a second freezer so could stock up for when I'm not well enough to go shopping, but also to take advantage of YS goodies, plus any gluts from our allotment.

Ill-health has changed my perspective on a lot of things and made me re-evaluate whee our money goes. On the positive side, having our allotment where I can potter, get some vit D and fresh air and grow a few things is a godsend and I took the plunge and came off all my pain meds as they were making things so much worse. Best decision I ever made.

Will be following with interest.

pollyanna do you have a link to that e-cloth mop system? It sounds interesting.