Advice on child maintenance payment to ex-wife

Spendless · 20 March 2017 at 9:57AM

Jamiehelsinki wrote: »

It's not for the nrp to subsidise the rp and give them equal spending power. It's for the rp to stand on their own 2 feet and pay their own way in life from the point of divorce with the help of some child maintenance.

There's nothing to stop the resident parent from going out and getting a more responsible job with higher earning power. You often hear the excuse that they have stayed at home and their careers have suffered but more often than not they never had much of a career to begin with.

Women who have worked hard to do well in their careers rarely throw it away the minute they have children or get married. ( not in the last 20/30 years anyway.)

Actually there is and that's childcare availabilty. Frequently all you can find is cover 8-5.30/6 Monday to Friday and often higher paid jobs have working hours outside these times.

There is no way my husband could have got to the position he has when we had children, without me being able to provide the 'outside office hours' childcare required for him to do so.

I could have looked for more higher paid work, but ift would have required him working the office 9-5 hours in the same way.

So, yes one of his could have progressed but not both of us. Not when children were young.

tensandunits_2 · 20 March 2017 at 8:41PM

FBaby wrote: »

Many people have a misconception of what before and after school clubs are about. The one my kids went to offered an environment supposed to replicate as much as possible that of children at home/with parents. It offered both quiet and full-on activities to suit all the kids. They had a TV room, they had a room where they could lay down and rest, they did craft activities as much as sporting activities, they also helped with homework in addition to them sitting to have a healthy breakfast.

My kids had no problems attending breakfast/after school clubs. Besides brushing their teeth and getting dressed, they did everything they would have done at home there, and by the time I picked them up after school, they would have played, did their homework, watched a bit of TV as they would have done at home.

Oh I've no doubt they're a popular choice for women who don't want to cut down on or give up their working hours. I was pointing out that a 10 hour day is a long time for an adult, let alone a small child.

Spendless · 20 March 2017 at 10:32PM

tensandunits wrote: »

Oh I've no doubt they're a popular choice for women who don't want to cut down on or give up their working hours. I was pointing out that a 10 hour day is a long time for an adult, let alone a small child.

Children don't notice the time in the same way as adults. When I put my DD into nursery for me to gain some qualifications in order to return to the workplace, I felt bad about it but I asked her what her day consisted of and the reply was something like this, first we sing songs, then I draw a picture, then we eat, then play outside, then you pick me up.

You've also missed out people who aren't able to cut their working hours which include people who work at places that only have full-time positions and no part time workers, which is very common where I live and work.

FBaby · 21 March 2017 at 8:24AM

Oh I've no doubt they're a popular choice for women who don't want to cut down on or give up their working hours. I was pointing out that a 10 hour day is a long time for an adult, let alone a small child.

Or mothers who don't want to raise their children on benefits or with the stress of living in debt (as so many families do nowadays).

I asked my teenager children once if they ever wished I had been at home with them more. They looked at me horrified and said that they enjoyed going to clubs for the most part, but most importantly, they appreciated all the opportunities they were given because I could afford them.

As already said, all kids will keep busy for 10 hours each day, whether it is at home or elsewhere, with the opportunity to do the same at clubs then they would do at home.

Loz01 · 21 March 2017 at 12:34PM

Surely "breakfast club" isn't exactly a long time anyway is it? At my nephews school it starts from 8:20 and at 8:45 the bell goes and they go in the have the register and start the first lesson at 9 so its not like you rock up to the school at 6:30am or something, its 25 mins max (at his school anyway)

tensandunits_2 · 21 March 2017 at 3:45PM

Loz01 wrote: »

Surely "breakfast club" isn't exactly a long time anyway is it? At my nephews school it starts from 8:20 and at 8:45 the bell goes and they go in the have the register and start the first lesson at 9 so its not like you rock up to the school at 6:30am or something, its 25 mins max (at his school anyway)

I think it varies, Loz01. Some start as early as 7, I think 8am is the norm. Add to that the after school 'club' which will babysit the child until the parent finishes work at 5 or 6 and it is a long day for a little one.

Oakdene · 21 March 2017 at 3:48PM

tensandunits wrote: »

I think it varies, Loz01. Some start as early as 7, I think 8am is the norm. Add to that the after school 'club' which will babysit the child until the parent finishes work at 5 or 6 and it is a long day for a little one.

My sons BC start at 8am, but its free as the Local Authority make a payment to the school of 50p per pupil who attends.

FBaby · 21 March 2017 at 3:51PM

Most kids who go to breakfast club at 7am will not go the afterschool or only for a short time. It is rare that kids will go from 7am to 6pm Monday to Friday.

JReacher1 · 21 March 2017 at 4:11PM

tensandunits wrote: »

I think it varies, Loz01. Some start as early as 7, I think 8am is the norm. Add to that the after school 'club' which will babysit the child until the parent finishes work at 5 or 6 and it is a long day for a little one.

I don't really see what your point is. The OP has explained that they have no choice, but to use a breakfast club and an after school club, plus many people raise children and hold full time work, so your continued posts that try to make the OP feel his child is suffering is frankly unhelpful!

Where do you think single parents who work 9-5 send their children all day?

tensandunits_2 · 21 March 2017 at 4:44PM

JReacher1 wrote: »

I don't really see what your point is. The OP has explained that they have no choice, but to use a breakfast club and an after school club, plus many people raise children and hold full time work, so your continued posts that try to make the OP feel his child is suffering is frankly unhelpful!

I was rightly challenging the fact that here we have two parents of very young children, who are squabbling over who gets what and who has to pay what, while the children are being shunted about between the two of them. It is not the money that they should be prioritising, but the children's welfare. I am shocked, but not surprised, I suppose, that this is controversial.

Advice on child maintenance payment to ex-wife

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free