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Main site > Forums > Household & Travel > Marriage, Relationships & Families > Is this person just trying to get her hands on la...
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      applepicker
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    • By applepicker 16th Mar 17, 9:25 AM
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      What's this?

    applepicker
    Is this person just trying to get her hands on lady's inheritance?
    • #1
    • 16th Mar 17, 9:25 AM
    Is this person just trying to get her hands on lady's inheritance? 16th Mar 17 at 9:25 AM
    I live in a town on the South Coast and I do gardening in a rich part of the town. This old woman (90) has a bungalow and it's probably worth £500,000. I have worked there for 5 years and in that whole time this woman (mid-late 50) a school TA has been coming round and seeing her. Apparently she takes no money and looks after her. All the neighbours think she's a carer, but she doesn't get any money. They first met a few years ago when she and her husband did gardening for her. I think she just tried this when her kids grew up and she wanted a job, she's now a teaching assistant in a school. She has never been very friendly to me and was always in conflict with another lady who worked there before and did the cleaning. The cleaner said she was a stirrer and conniving. Recently she came out of hospital and I went around to collect some money for sorting out the bins. She marched up the drive didn't say hello to me which is normal and said to the carers I am the next of kin. She seems to be trying to control everything about the lady's life. The old lady thinks she's wonderful and keeps saying she's the best friend ever- goes to her bed in hospital etc She says she's teacher and ex-nurse etc etc Her husband who is also wonderful according to her does her accounts and manages her money. The ex-cleaner who got sick of it all and quit told me the old lady was always talking about who was on the will etc The old lady seems a bit nuts to me. For example, she's German and actually met Hitler. She said to me she was told in high school that Hitler killed himself when he heard about all the Jews being gassed and couldn't live with himself and that it was the men who surrounded Hitler who were responsible for it. She still absolutely believes that lol, After hearing this and other crazy things I think she's quite gullible.


    Have I got this wrong, is the lady in her 50s whole friendship based on her getting the inheritance? Will she definitely get it? Apparently, the German lady has a nephew in Germany, she also has a genuine friend (another old lady) who lives down the road. Her husband who was rich and had all the money (is dead) has lots of nephews and nieces.
    Last edited by applepicker; 16-03-2017 at 9:28 AM.

    Sorry!

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Page 4
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      takman
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    • takman
    • By takman 20th Mar 17, 1:06 AM
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      What's this?

    takman
    “
    I just find it annoying when the German lady says how wonderful she is and that she does everything for no money and that she's a teacher when technically she's a TA (anyone can do this). The German lady wouldn't understand that. So she's lying. How she used to be a nurse, that she's a good sweeper of paths lol can use computers and is just so wonderful. That she does everything for no money and doesn't want anything. Then I find out from the cleaner and the inheritance woman that she's the next of kin not from the German lady. That the husband of the inheritance lady (who's an estate agent and gardener) is wonderful because he still tries to do her financial accounts. The last time I spoke to the inheritance lady it was the usual cold chat- I asked how she was and she straight away said- yes, I guess you are worried about your stuff in garage- a nice person would have assumed I was concerned about her health as well as that. But she straight away assumed the worst about me. Why... Because it takes one to know one. That's how she thinks and so assumes other people are like it. She also questioned me whether I was ripping the old lady off over a poxy £10 (which I wasn't and never have). Why does she do this- because she's deceptive and assumes others are. A nice person wouldn't be questioning this. There are a thousand examples of things she's said and done which just make my instincts say she's after the money.


    As someone who has travelled for years as well. I understand people from other cultures quite well. And it's very difficult to understand the complexities of people from a different culture if you didn't grow up there. The German lady is a classic example. Even though she's lived in the UK for over 60 years. She's never worked here and just relied on her English husband (he died 15 years ago). Like many people in the UK who spent the first 25 years in another country she finds it very difficult to work out all the different types of people you meet in this country. From the different classes and parts of Britain and how these affect their personalities. This makes someone like her very easily manipulated.


    The inheritance woman met her when her and her husband knocked on her door 10 years ago as two gardeners. I suspect she spotted the German lady's naivety and has been plotting ever since!
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    So what?
    Your using her so you can store your equipment for free and only do little jobs for her because she lets you keep it there. So if your worried about people taking advantage of her then take all your equipment out of her house immediately and keep it somewhere else.

    Atleast the other woman and her husband are actually helping her and other sounds like she quite enjoys their help and their company. None of her family seem like they bother to visit her from what you said. So if this lady wants to give her interintance to someone then they deserve it more than her family who don't bother with her.

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      thorsoak
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    • By thorsoak 20th Mar 17, 7:59 AM
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      What's this?

    thorsoak
    “
    True. She would be sad without the company. She has another friend but the more friends the better.


    The carers won't work it out any time soon. It took me ages to find everything out. All the neighbours thought she was the carer, and she's been going there for 8 years. Both neighbours thought it! The whole cul-de-sac must think it. I found out she's next of kin and managing the money from the cleaner (who worked there for 15 years ). She got me fired 3 years ago for a year. Come on of course she's after the money!!
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    So you are nothing better than a scurrilous gossip monger = no better than the cleaner who was fired! And by the way - where are you going to "store your stuff" if you managed to shuffle the old lady into a care home? Or earn £10 an hour (declared to HMRC of course!) ?

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      Pollycat
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    • By Pollycat 20th Mar 17, 8:13 AM
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      What's this?

    Pollycat
    “
    The carers won't work it out any time soon. It took me ages to find everything out. All the neighbours thought she was the carer, and she's been going there for 8 years. Both neighbours thought it! The whole cul-de-sac must think it.
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    Just read the bit in bold ^^^^ and ask yourself if this is really any of your business.

    “
    I found out she's next of kin and managing the money from the cleaner (who worked there for 15 years ). She got me fired 3 years ago for a year. Come on of course she's after the money!!
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    You found out she was next-of-kin from the cleaner?
    That's not what you said in your first post:
    “
    She marched up the drive didn't say hello to me which is normal and said to the carers I am the next of kin. She seems to be trying to control everything about the lady's life.
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    “
    The cleaner quit over not being paid enough. Then there was accusations of stealing and the inheritance woman was a witness. She had been going through the drawers to find the will, I guess to know if the inheritance woman was going to get it all.
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    The cleaner is lucky she was allowed to quit.
    If I had a cleaner and found out she had been going through my drawers to find my will, I'd have thrown her out on her ear.
    And this is the woman you've been listening to and gossiping with.....?

    “
    I just find it annoying when the German lady says how wonderful she is and that she does everything for no money and that she's a teacher when technically she's a TA (anyone can do this). The German lady wouldn't understand that. So she's lying. How she used to be a nurse, that she's a good sweeper of paths lol can use computers and is just so wonderful. That she does everything for no money and doesn't want anything. Then I find out from the cleaner and the inheritance woman that she's the next of kin not from the German lady. That the husband of the inheritance lady (who's an estate agent and gardener) is wonderful because he still tries to do her financial accounts. The last time I spoke to the inheritance lady it was the usual cold chat- I asked how she was and she straight away said- yes, I guess you are worried about your stuff in garage- a nice person would have assumed I was concerned about her health as well as that. But she straight away assumed the worst about me. Why... Because it takes one to know one. That's how she thinks and so assumes other people are like it. She also questioned me whether I was ripping the old lady off over a poxy £10 (which I wasn't and never have). Why does she do this- because she's deceptive and assumes others are. A nice person wouldn't be questioning this. There are a thousand examples of things she's said and done which just make my instincts say she's after the money.


    As someone who has travelled for years as well. I understand people from other cultures quite well. And it's very difficult to understand the complexities of people from a different culture if you didn't grow up there. The German lady is a classic example. Even though she's lived in the UK for over 60 years. She's never worked here and just relied on her English husband (he died 15 years ago). Like many people in the UK who spent the first 25 years in another country she finds it very difficult to work out all the different types of people you meet in this country. From the different classes and parts of Britain and how these affect their personalities. This makes someone like her very easily manipulated.


    The inheritance woman met her when her and her husband knocked on her door 10 years ago as two gardeners. I suspect she spotted the German lady's naivety and has been plotting ever since!
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    I think you should step away from this - now!

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      Bath cube
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    • By Bath cube 21st Mar 17, 2:22 PM
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      What's this?

    Bath cube
    I logged on for a short while during my break and I find this issue is still ongoing wow!. Apple picker you have been given plenty of advice now and isn't it time you acted on it or just leave this alone?. As I said to you last week this isn't really a legal or police matter and if you have genuine concerns rather than just to have a pop at the unwaged carer then contact the social services. By the way not everyone could be a teaching assistant what give you that idea?. I have a family member ooop north who is a HLTA and it wasn't easy for him in any way. I'm not good at gardening and that's way my front and rear gardens are mainly paved over so I wouldn't say anyone can be a gardener.

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      RoonilWazlib
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    • By RoonilWazlib 22nd Mar 17, 4:24 PM
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      What's this?

    RoonilWazlib
    The old lady definitely needs to have this toxic relationship out of her life.

    I'm sure another gardener could be found.

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    • By applepicker 24th Mar 17, 4:18 PM
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      What's this?

    applepicker
    I think the key reason for her gullibility is because she grew up abroad then never worked here. Sorry people on this thread aren't travelled and international enough to pick up on that comment earlier. I lived abroad for 11 years.

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      Jojo the Tightfisted
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    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 24th Mar 17, 9:24 PM
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      What's this?

    Jojo the Tightfisted
    “
    I just find it annoying when the German lady says how wonderful she is and that she does everything for no money and that she's a teacher when technically she's a TA (anyone can do this). The German lady wouldn't understand that. So she's lying. How she used to be a nurse, that she's a good sweeper of paths lol can use computers and is just so wonderful. That she does everything for no money and doesn't want anything. Then I find out from the cleaner and the inheritance woman that she's the next of kin not from the German lady. That the husband of the inheritance lady (who's an estate agent and gardener) is wonderful because he still tries to do her financial accounts. The last time I spoke to the inheritance lady it was the usual cold chat- I asked how she was and she straight away said- yes, I guess you are worried about your stuff in garage- a nice person would have assumed I was concerned about her health as well as that. But she straight away assumed the worst about me. Why... Because it takes one to know one. That's how she thinks and so assumes other people are like it. She also questioned me whether I was ripping the old lady off over a poxy £10 (which I wasn't and never have). Why does she do this- because she's deceptive and assumes others are. A nice person wouldn't be questioning this. There are a thousand examples of things she's said and done which just make my instincts say she's after the money.


    As someone who has travelled for years as well. I understand people from other cultures quite well. And it's very difficult to understand the complexities of people from a different culture if you didn't grow up there. The German lady is a classic example. Even though she's lived in the UK for over 60 years. She's never worked here and just relied on her English husband (he died 15 years ago). Like many people in the UK who spent the first 25 years in another country she finds it very difficult to work out all the different types of people you meet in this country. From the different classes and parts of Britain and how these affect their personalities. This makes someone like her very easily manipulated.


    The inheritance woman met her when her and her husband knocked on her door 10 years ago as two gardeners. I suspect she spotted the German lady's naivety and has been plotting ever since!
    Originally posted by applepicker ”
    1. TAs often teach. Whether it's individual students, small groups, those with SEN or behavioural issues, or entire classes, they teach.

    2. You're getting free storage and a tenner (cash in hand?) in exchange for pottering about and emptying the odd bin for an hour once a week. Sounds alright to me. Half of Boscombe would snap your arm off to get that.

    3. If supporting a kid is your only motivation, why not try an alternative/not so poxy job? Sounds like Teaching Assistant might be something you think could do....

    4. I'd be pretty short with you if you turned up as soon as I'd come out of hospital from a broken hip, wanting cash.

    5. I'd be mightily suspicious of somebody who used an elderly person's home as a free storage facility, whilst claiming to be a gardening professional. Why not use somewhere like Safestore off Queens' Road or Ready Steady in Wallisdown; it would certainly be more professional than dumping your gear at somebody's house - and less likely to go horribly wrong if the householder were to expire, as it would look like you were trying to nick her gardening equipment?


    PS: travelling the world doesn't really mean anything. It could have been a Trustafarian backpacking around, 'proper' work related travel, spending loads on package holidays or unqualified grunt work doing something like digging spuds or picking apples. It's not particularly impressive. And Germans have/had a class system, too. Depending on which part of Germany, she would also know full well that people can or cannot be trusted, particularly in view of her age.
    Last edited by Jojo the Tightfisted; 24-03-2017 at 9:31 PM.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

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    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw ”

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      seven-day-weekend
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    • By seven-day-weekend 25th Mar 17, 6:54 AM
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      What's this?

    seven-day-weekend
    I knew a lady once, in a similar position to that which you have described. She looked after an elderly lady for several years and then inherited her bungalow when she died. Many people said that was the only reason she looked after the lady.

    However..... even if this was her motivation, she DID look after the lady (whilst not an official carer). No-one else did. The old lady WAS grateful. And she was entitled to leave her bungalow to whoever she wished.

    Don't see a problem.

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    • By chrissie57 25th Mar 17, 1:39 PM
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      What's this?

    chrissie57
    “
    Has anybody seen Bluelass lately? Just wondering.
    Originally posted by elsien ”
    This......
    "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you. "
    A.A. Milne

    We are such stuff
    As dreams are made on; and our little life
    Is rounded with a sleep.

    Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced (James Baldwin)

    Sorry!

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    • By Pollycat 25th Mar 17, 2:54 PM
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      What's this?

    Pollycat
    OP
    If you really and honestly think this lady is at risk from the person who is supposed to be caring for her, I suggest you contact Social Services or one of the other organisations that you have been given the link for.

    If it is investigated, the lady will either be cleared of suspicion or found to be guilty of what you are accusing her of.

    That will be and end to it.

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