Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

System · 4 May 2018 at 9:28AM

SpekySquarehead wrote: »

CCL!!! Wowza. Just catching up.

I think I can speak on behalf of the regular readers of your previous thread when I say we were worried about your absence so I'm glad to see you back.

It's been a roller coaster. I think given your previous stress levels, you've managed this excellently and you should be immensely proud of yourself for making a very difficult decision. And the right decision too! Hopefully that euphoric feeling is addictive and lets your strive to feel great again. As you've said, it can be seen as the start of a new life. A clean slate. A fresh start.

We're here virtually to help in anyway that we can. So keep us posted and I look forward to seeing your progress.

Go you![

What a great post, summed up brilliantly.

crazy_cat_lady · 4 May 2018 at 10:35AM

Good morning everyone :coffee:
I genuinely did only have one glass of wine, but I'm so not used to it that I've woken up with a very fuzzy head this morning. I've had a couple of cups of tea and something to eat, and I've taken ds to school and am just about starting to feel as if I can face the day.
We seem to have loads of food in the fridge that is just about to go past its best, and I've managed to clear a path to my large freezer. I don't know if I can just put everything in there, but if I don't at least try then it will definitely get wasted. I have more milk than I can realistically use, masses of breaded chicken goujons and a huge bag of courgettes among other things. Wonder if I should cook them first - wish I was wise about this stuff...
Other than that there are the usual jobs of washing, washing dishes and hoovering and a couple of annoying jobs. I have a bit of crochet related sewing to finish that I've been putting off, and I really want to see about getting a solicitor sorted out. And I need to finish planning for next week back at work.
Thank you all again for the support. I will definitely need it over the coming months.

AspiringButAnxious · 4 May 2018 at 11:01AM

Wow! It's obviously the right choice for your health and your kids' wellbeing, but I think it's best for dh, too. As much as I empathise with him, relying heavily on my parents for financial, practical and emotional support, not trying to help yourself is unacceptable when you're part of a family. Hopefully he will realise that he is worth the effort.

You got out of debt and you can handle your finances now. This is the most tumultuous time, since your circumstances have just changed dramatically, so allow yourself a bit of breathing space. You don't need all the answers right now: just figure out what to do for today, this week or this month as a maximum.

Btw, anyone who would suggests getting rid of any of your cats obviously doesn't understand what having pets is about. I would no sooner consider getting rid of my dog than any other member of my family. Except my brother... I don't like him and can't wait for him to move out (if he ever does)!

The most important thing to remember is that YOU CAN HANDLE THIS.

Most people wouldn't have had the strength you have demonstrated over the time I've been reading your threads. They would have given up on their goals. They would have let their partners continue to eat away their health and wellbeing. They would never have stepped up when their partner crossed one line too many and said "enough!" Give yourself credit for your strength, especially when you feel weak.

(And yeah, I realise you wrote something similar on my thread! I do think we benefit from the messages being repeated though, which is why I intend to re-read some self-help books I have found useful and inspiring).

Anyhoo, feel free to pm me if you want a chat/extra support. I'm told I'm a lot better at giving support and advice than taking it!

As you say, this is a new chapter in your life and I think you need to celebrate it. Yes, it's scary and uncertain, but so are most things worth doing. Give yourself a couple of hours to work out how you want your new life to look, what your priorities are, your goals, etc. If any questions/issues pop up, make a note of them but don't worry about answering them yet. Then gather your closest friends, drink a toast to your new life and share any goals you feel ready to share.

Good luck and all the best

triple_choc_chip · 4 May 2018 at 2:05PM

"and a huge bag of courgettes among other things. Wonder if I should cook them first - wish I was wise about this stuff..."
When I'm freezing fresh veg I usually blanche it for 1 minute, enough to kill germs but not to cook. I don't bother to heat fruit before freezing; frozen sliced bananas taste exactly like banana icecream and frozen grapes are lovely in a glass of wine in stead of an icecube - no need to waste anything!
Hopefully you already know that milk freezes, but pour a little out first to give it room to expand as it cools.
Channel your inner Nigella and you'll be just fine

crazy_cat_lady · 4 May 2018 at 8:22PM

Thanks TCC - milk and goujons are in the freezer and I have decided to use the courgettes tomorrow in something. I'll decide what once I'm up and about but I'm thinking soup and chilli or Bolognese. Unfortunately I am not into cooking - I'm not good at it and I get no pleasure from it at all. I need to channel my inner Foxgloves, never mind Nigella. :rotfl:
ABA Thankyou for your reply. I'm really pleased that you think that this is right for my husband as well. I have said it myself a few times but have wondered if I'm just saying it to make myself feel better. It feels like an old clich! saying it's the best thing for all of us, but it really is. I am apprehensive about what lies ahead, and a bit stressed that I'm already out of cash and it's only the fourth of the month, but I will get through it. One day at a time - I know that I can handle whatever life throws in my direction.
I also know that someone who reads my posts on here also knows my husband on another forum and reports back to him, so I hope that they report this back to him as well. That it is probably the best thing that has happened to him for a long time, although he might not believe it at the moment.
I didn't get round to phoning a solicitor but I did get round to ringing him. I wanted to let him know about seeing the kids, and to try and move him on from my dads place. I know my dad is a grown up, but it was never a long term solution - him staying there. That drained me quite a bit so I decided that was enough relationship stuff for today. I really do hope that he helps himself out, and that we can be friends in the long run.
Other than that, it's been a quiet day. I finished a couple of crochet projects I've got on the go (still another 4 on the go at the moment) and have spent most of my time on that. DD and I are going to watch a film after this and that's about it.
I have also bagged my first nsd in eternity, which is amazing and good news for my bank account

crazy_cat_lady · 5 May 2018 at 8:26AM

Morning all :coffee:
Cats decided that they wouldn't wait past 7am for breakfast this morning, and 3 of them ganged up on me to force me out of bed to feed them. So I've been up and pottering around for a while. It's a lovely day outside and that makes a world of difference to my mood.
Today's main event is to meet up with bestie and we're going to have a picnic with the kids in the park. Should be a low or no spend day - I suspect my chances of a day out in the sun without buying the kids an ice cream are slim to non existent, but that will be cheaper than buying lunch. I'm looking forward to being out and about anyway.
I've made a good start on my planning for next week. All lessons are basic planned and equipment orders are done. I just need to sort out some more detailed presentations and worksheets, but I am feeling a lot better now about going back to work.
I will need to do a small top up shop at some point. There's plenty in the fridge but there are a couple of things I will have to get - kids cereal bars, teabags etc. I'm going to write a list and definitely stick to it. It's ambitious but I'm hopeful for a less than £20 shop.
Don't think that there's anything else to report - I'll check in later. Have a good day everyone :T:j:j

beanielou · 5 May 2018 at 6:59PM

Hope that you had a good day

apple_muncher · 5 May 2018 at 7:47PM

Are you about to start marking for the exam board? Just to add a little more manic-ness to your life! Have a fun weekend x

crazy_cat_lady · 5 May 2018 at 10:30PM

beanielou wrote: »

Hope that you had a good day

I had a lovely day thank you. I genuinely can't remember the last time I felt as relaxed and stress free as I did today. It seems like such a long time since there's been such nice weather and that really helps. DD decided that she didn't want to come out with us so it was just me, bestie and the two boys. The boys tired themselves out around the park and on their scooters, and we relaxed in the sun (and shade) and had a good natter and a catch up. Did plenty of walking as well, and in spite of my factor 30 I am still sunburnt. I don't know what it is with my skin but I burn SO easily. Bestie provided the picnic, I provided the drinks and we talked the boys into coming home via Mr S for ice cream rather than waiting in a huge queue at the ice cream van - and we got ice lollies for everyone with plenty to spare for less than £3.
While we were there I did my not-so-little top up shop. I had been hopeful for less than £20 but unfortunately it ticked in at £38. On the plus side, I had made a list and I did stick to it. I just needed a bit more than I thought in the end. And it was Mr S, which is one of my favourites but not the best of value. It's all written down in my spend diary though so I can get a hang on where my money is now going.

apple_muncher wrote: »

Are you about to start marking for the exam board? Just to add a little more manic-ness to your life! Have a fun weekend x

Yes, I have quite a few exam contracts this year (thankfully). They keep me very busy but I do actually really enjoy doing it. The money is normally so that me and the kids can enjoy our 6 weeks of summer, but hopefully this year it'll keep me on an even keel while I figure out where my finances are. I am a marking machine when I get going.

beanielou · 5 May 2018 at 10:33PM

Good news on the marking.

Glad you had a good day

Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

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