YNAB...ing my way to freedom!

Eyebright · 12 January 2020 at 10:52PM

Hi Frank,

You seem to be off to a flying start! I've recently had my LBM too, and have similar goals to you. I want to be debt free before I turn 40 in Feb 2025. I'm planning on starting my own diary too, so I can track my progress and to keep me focused. I'm a spendaholic and it's got to stop!
I have £18,692 of debt, and zero savings. I've just consolidated my 2 credit card debts which were 22% interest into a loan @ 4.5%. My monthly payment is £260/month over 6 years, so I need to find ways to overpay because in 6 years I'll be 41 and that's not good enough!!!
We have a 3 year old, so I feel you with things to do that are low cost. I've re-jigged the budget now, so the child benefit will be going into a separate account and will be used exclusively to buy things for her, days out etc. I'm lucky as we live in a seaside town, so I take her to the beach regularly. We also have a zoo pass, which is a 10 minute walk away, so we go there loads too, though it's not always a NSD when she demands an ice cream! Definitely check out the library and also look at locals churches, they often run play sessions/groups and are usually around 50p/£1 to go.

I've also joined the pay off all your debt by Christmas challenge and looking at some others I can join to help motivate me. I'm aiming to clear £4k debt this year, hopefully more!

I've just completed the online form for a tax rebate for washing my work uniform at home and for having to pay professional registration fees, going back the last 5 years, so hopefully that will land me some money! I'm aiming to start a small EF of £500 and I also have some other sinking funds set out to ensure I don't have to keep putting planned expenses on the credit cards.

Sorry I've waffled on way to much, I should save it for my own diary! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

SuperFrank88 · 13 January 2020 at 7:43AM

Eyebright wrote: »

Hi Frank,

You seem to be off to a flying start! I've recently had my LBM too, and have similar goals to you. I want to be debt free before I turn 40 in Feb 2025. I'm planning on starting my own diary too, so I can track my progress and to keep me focused. I'm a spendaholic and it's got to stop!
I have £18,692 of debt, and zero savings. I've just consolidated my 2 credit card debts which were 22% interest into a loan @ 4.5%. My monthly payment is £260/month over 6 years, so I need to find ways to overpay because in 6 years I'll be 41 and that's not good enough!!!
We have a 3 year old, so I feel you with things to do that are low cost. I've re-jigged the budget now, so the child benefit will be going into a separate account and will be used exclusively to buy things for her, days out etc. I'm lucky as we live in a seaside town, so I take her to the beach regularly. We also have a zoo pass, which is a 10 minute walk away, so we go there loads too, though it's not always a NSD when she demands an ice cream! Definitely check out the library and also look at locals churches, they often run play sessions/groups and are usually around 50p/£1 to go.

I've also joined the pay off all your debt by Christmas challenge and looking at some others I can join to help motivate me. I'm aiming to clear £4k debt this year, hopefully more!

I've just completed the online form for a tax rebate for washing my work uniform at home and for having to pay professional registration fees, going back the last 5 years, so hopefully that will land me some money! I'm aiming to start a small EF of £500 and I also have some other sinking funds set out to ensure I don't have to keep putting planned expenses on the credit cards.

Sorry I've waffled on way to much, I should save it for my own diary! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Hi Eyebright,

Thanks for stopping by! Wow you seem to have your targets nailed down :j well done you!

It would great if you could subscribe to my diary so that we can interact. I’ll join yours too

I started this diary so that I could jot everything down and stay accountable. But I find it much easier to stay accountable if I am engaging with others rather than just speaking to myself :rotfl:

Hope you have a great week :money:

Poppy1984 · 13 January 2020 at 10:49AM

Hi superfrank88
I'm following your diary, I totally know what you mean about feeling like you're talking to yourself! I feel the same about mine but lots of people on here read and lurk on lots of diaries so people are reading just not necessarily posting.

I just wanted to post to say how sad I felt that you'd gone to the effort and cost of setting up a PO Box

so glad you decided to cancel, that money could go into your EF.

I don't mean to interfere and I really hope I don't cause you offence by saying this... but could you possibly think about telling your partner about the debt? You have faced it head on, you have a plan on how you are going to tackle it and you have an end date. You could tell them all that and simply say you didn't want to hide it from them but you are on top of it. I really think it would relieve a bit of pressure and you can support each other over the next few frugal years for both of you.

You have got a healthy EF built up there so when you do start your dmp you have a good safety net there.

SuperFrank88 · 13 January 2020 at 6:45PM

Poppy1984 wrote: »

Hi superfrank88
I'm following your diary, I totally know what you mean about feeling like you're talking to yourself! I feel the same about mine but lots of people on here read and lurk on lots of diaries so people are reading just not necessarily posting.

I just wanted to post to say how sad I felt that you'd gone to the effort and cost of setting up a PO Box so glad you decided to cancel, that money could go into your EF.

I don't mean to interfere and I really hope I don't cause you offence by saying this... but could you possibly think about telling your partner about the debt? You have faced it head on, you have a plan on how you are going to tackle it and you have an end date. You could tell them all that and simply say you didn't want to hide it from them but you are on top of it. I really think it would relieve a bit of pressure and you can support each other over the next few frugal years for both of you.

You have got a healthy EF built up there so when you do start your dmp you have a good safety net there.

Hi Poppy,

Thanks for stopping by

I managed to finally get through to Royal Mail customer services! I was on the phone for 40 mins on Friday trying to get through and had to eventually hang up because I needed to be somewhere. Anyway, the PO Box is cancelled you'll be glad to hear, That £156 is on it's way back to me :beer: so that will be going straight into my credit union account!

No you didn't offend me, I would much prefer people to be straight and honest with me, that's what being accountable is all about ey? The thing that petrifies me the most about telling my partner is that I have some how broken my trust by hiding it. But then I am doing exactly that by not being honest :undecided

I NEED to put my big boy pants on and lay it ALL out on the table. I KNOW you are right when you say it will relieve the pressure, because to be honest that is the only pressure I am feeling from the whole situation. It's not that I do not care about the actual debt, but after being on here and reading so many people's story's, plus talking to Step Change and hearing how helpful they are really does put me at ease when it comes to the debt.

Right I am going to do it! I am going to sit down with my partner TONIGHT over a cup of tea and blurt it all out. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that jazz

Wow I can not believe I have actually committed to it! The next post I put up on this diary will be me telling you all that I came clean! I PROMISE!

Be right back :wave:

[Deleted User] · 13 January 2020 at 6:56PM

Hope it goes as well as can be expected - good luck

Eyebright · 13 January 2020 at 7:22PM

Well done Frank for taking the decision to tell your partner. Hopefully it will relieve some of the pressure on yourself. You've totally got this!!:beer:

Poppy1984 · 13 January 2020 at 11:48PM

Hi frank, I'm so pleased I didn't offend you. I'm also pleased you got a refund for the PO Box. Wow well done! You can do this!!!! I know it's a big deal but better they find out now at the beginning of your debt busting journey than you tie yourself up in knots trying to hide it from them for the next few years your thoughts on setting up the P.O. Box is an example of that.

In the early days of my debt lightbulb flickering I tried to pay it back whilst hiding the truth from friends and family and I found it really hard and it just made me feel rubbish. I ended up tying myself up in knots making up excuses about why I couldn't afford certain things and it just made me feel yucky that I was being dishonest so I ended up stretching myself again and continuing doing things I couldn't afford and actually adding to my debt!

When I well and truly had my lightbulb moment I came clean to those closest to me and stopped trying to hide it from everyone. I didn't tell people the ins and outs or the details. But I'm nearly 2 years into my debt free journey and these days I find myself saying quite nonchalantly "I have some debt I'm trying to pay off so that's not in my budget this month" and do you know what no one bats an eyelid. I've not had the shame bell shook at me and a few times people have breathed a sigh of relief and opened up about their debts!

Sorry I do babble, I hope it went okay with your partner, I'm guessing they may have been shocked and need a bit of tune to come to terms with it, but you've absolutely done the right thing telling them, I promise.

SuperFrank88 · 14 January 2020 at 10:38AM

Oh My Word! I can't believe I actually did it!

So I sat my partner down and basically said I had got myself in a bit of a mess with my finances. i told her that I was planning on defaulting all of my accounts because I needed the interest to stop being added to the balance which was over my head now. I told her that there would be lots of letters turning up which were all auto generated. I said that I was not running away from my debt and as soon as they all defaulted that I would set up a DMP and start paying it off straight away, by which time I will have a nice EF behind me.

She was worried that we were going to have people knocking on the door (She watches 'Can't pay we'll take it away' :think:)

I explained to her that I wouldn't let it get to that stage and that it would in no way affect her credit because we are in no way financially linked!

I didn't tell her how much exactly I owed but I told her that I had faced my problem, I have a plan in place and i just need her to trust me to get it sorted.

She took it so much better than I thought she would, there was no tears or tantrums. She thanked me for being honest with her and was glad I didn't hide things from her.

I cannot tell you the relief I felt after that chat!:rotfl:

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to each and every one of you that nudged me towards telling her...hate to say it but you were right!

I now feel like I can take on the world now that I have got my partner by my side (even though she doesn't know the exact total. I don't think that matters though, the main thing is she knows I am sorting it :money:

To anyone reading this that is in the same situation as me and holding your secrets from your partner...don't do it!

OnlyPariah · 14 January 2020 at 1:00PM

Wow that's awesome news. It's always better if we can share and not hide things from our loved ones. If they are right for us they'll hug you even tighter and make you feel like it's all going to be alright.

Good luck on getting the EF fund and then starting on the DMP journey. That's likely what I will be doing. I've stopped my payments and am just trying to build the fund. If only life would let me.

Subscribed.

Eyebright · 14 January 2020 at 1:42PM

Yay! Congrats, so glad you have talked to your partner and it's all out in the open.
It will be so much easier to tackle your debts now, the total amount is less important, not keeping the debt a secret is the main thing.
Now you can crack on with sorting out the EF whilst everything defaults. Good luck Frank!

YNAB...ing my way to freedom!

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