Can’t afford to live

245

Comments

  • skcollobcat10
    skcollobcat10 Posts: 331 Forumite
    xylophone wrote: »
    He does mention a lot of debt built up by his children's mother and the fact that she wrote off his car which he was buying on finance.

    If the children's mother ran up the debt wouldn't he only have to pay back 50%? About time she found work.
  • boliston
    boliston Posts: 3,012 Forumite
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    skcollobcat10 wrote: »
    If the children's mother ran up the debt wouldn't he only have to pay back 50%? About time she found work.

    It would depend entirely the name that the debt was in - if it's in joint names they can chase 100%, if it is in the partners name only they can chase 0%
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 7,323 Forumite
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    I would advise going to a debt advice service like Stepchange. They might help with advice on who should be paying what as well.

    OP, thank you for your service. Well done for developing a new career, but concentrate also on sorting out what you HAVE to pay and prioritising your debts and spending so that this situation can eventually be sorted out.

    Unfortunately, you may have to stay with your parents for a short while, while this is being sorted out. However much its not what you want, this is just for now. It will change in the future. I am sure you are grateful that you are able to stay with your parents, its better than the alternative.

    Could you try mediation services with regards to your wife and access to your children?
  • BrassicWoman
    BrassicWoman Posts: 3,202 Forumite
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    ask you parents how they feel about the kids living wth you full time? I'd be thinking hard about leaving my kids with a drink driver. That'd change the finance position a bit.
    2021 GC £1365.71/ £2400
  • welshmoneylover
    welshmoneylover Posts: 3,324 Forumite
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    It will get better, perhaps set yourself a long time frame for things to improve, say, stay with your parents for 5 years until you get on your feet.

    You may even meet someone special, it’s not all doom and gloom out there. Good luck.
    Be happy, it's the greatest wealth :)
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    Thread title isn't correct - it's how do I deal with Emotional Abuse.
    Yesterday after throwing the first necessary punch (not physical) at someone I then had to decide if I wanted to continue further upsetting myself in retaliating or whether I just filed their rights to reply away.

    What would your delightful ex lady do if had a job that paid £15,000 - you aren't on a low wage at all for normal amount of hours.

    And you don't want a cheap rental property either so wait the year.
  • poppasmurf_bewdley
    poppasmurf_bewdley Posts: 5,909 Forumite
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    Tabbytabitha wrote: »
    I was thinking more of ssafa.

    https://www.ssafa.org.uk/help-you

    SAFFA were great with help for my son who came out of the army suffering from PTSD after three tours of Afghan.

    They helped him with carpeting and furnishing his HA flat, and also they assisted in getting him training as an electrician.

    Also you should note that as a recent army leaver, your local Housing Associations should give you priority in getting HA accommodation. My son was given a flat in a small development especially reserved for ex-servicemen (and women).

    Further, if your ex has written off your car by drink driving, can you not off-set the value by reducing payments to her?

    Good luck.
    "There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    Chris2222 wrote: »
    I
    I have recently left the army after 7.5 years service and have faced with having to live with my parents as I broke up from my children’s mother 3 years ago.

    My ex got me into a lot of debt and recently written off my finance car drink driving (second time offence and lucky to not face jail time)

    Another vote for talking to SSAFA - also consider whether the children would be better off living with you as the parent with care.

    If their mother has already been caught twice for drink-driving, she is very likely drinking a lot at home.
  • pmduk
    pmduk Posts: 10,655 Forumite
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    As for your ex-partner, make sure you pay her child support by a recordable means in future so there can be no dispute about the amount paid. You can check the amount due by completing the calculator online.

    If she does make a claim to CMS, (the successors to CSA), it will cost her £30 IIRC, so she's less likely to do it if you're paying the correct amount already.
  • Rosemary7391
    Rosemary7391 Posts: 2,879 Forumite
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    You could post on the Debt Free Wannabe board here for advice about the debts - they're good at helping people manage their debt. If you could get some of the more expensive ones knocked on the head you might find yourself better positioned to move out :)
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