Don't we just love the drama!
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The thing is, if it was the son who let his mum in, to help him pack and move out things from the room that he'd been staying in while he lived with his dad, is that so terrible? Should the son really have had to check with his dad's partner?...
YES - I own the house. Of course it's up to me0 -
Wow. Thanks to everyone who has taken tine to comment. We tried to keep the son at college, as he's only 17. IF he was in full time education I would have had no problems with housing him. However he spent his days in bed and nights out socialising with friends. He never ever (not even once) helped around the house and at times tutted when I was late in from work, which meant he wouldn't get a meal at the time he wanted. He was honestly using our house as a hotel.
We had asked him several times to find a job, but he chose to not look for one. He seemed to think that he could spend his time here and when we suggested work he'd run to his mother.
Yes I do feel sorry that a 17 year old has been rejected, but they were because of choices he made. Plus, I was not put on Earth to be man-handled by anyone.
I pay the mortgage on my house, so I think that gives me some sort of say in decision making!
Thank you all again. I read every reply and comment and although I may not agree with everything, I do respect everything that was said.0 -
Often teenagers don't think that way. Some days you're lucky if they think at all......Helentiful wrote: »The thing is, if it was the son who let his mum in, to help him pack and move out things from the room that he'd been staying in while he lived with his dad, is that so terrible? Should the son really have had to check with his dad's partner?...
YES - I own the house. Of course it's up to me
Son won't be thinking it's step mum whose name is on the legal documents, pays the mortgage, has the name on the rent book, lived there for years before she met my Dad. He is more likely to think of along the lines of'this is Dad's home because it's where Dad lives and sleeps'0 -
Often teenagers don't think that way. Some days you're lucky if they think at all......
Son won't be thinking it's step mum whose name is on the legal documents, pays the mortgage, has the name on the rent book, lived there for years before she met my Dad. He is more likely to think of along the lines of'this is Dad's home because it's where Dad lives and sleeps'
Doesn't really matter whether he thought that or not - he certainly shouldn't have been thinking 'and that gives me the right to push somebody else out the way'. Because nothing gave him the right to assault her.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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Can you please point out to me where I've said that it matters what his thought process is about the OPs house and ownership??. I've certainly made no comment about him thinking it's right to push her about!!!Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »Doesn't really matter whether he thought that or not - he certainly shouldn't have been thinking 'and that gives me the right to push somebody else out the way'. Because nothing gave him the right to assault her.
The OP is taking the view that she should be told because it's her house and she pays the mortgage. I replied saying teens (often) won't think in the same way about who pays or legally own the property their parent sleeps in.0 -
Can you please point out to me where I've said that it matters what his thought process is about the OPs house and ownership??. I've certainly made no comment about him thinking it's right to push her about!!!
The OP is taking the view that she should be told because it's her house and she pays the mortgage. I replied saying teens (often) won't think in the same way about who pays or legally own the property their parent sleeps in.
You haven't at all - I'm clarifying that in case somebody took it as meaning the OP's entire reasoning is wrong, not having a go at you. I do disagree with you to some extent, due to his age, he's not ten years old, but the major point is that, even if he did believe that, nothing is taken away from the fact that, unlike the vast majority of 17 year olds who, whatever their thoughts or lack of thoughts wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, he physically assaulted her and should think himself fortunate that he's not been arrested and charged with a violent offence.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll0 -
I would have called the police to get them out no question.0
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Op I feel for you.
My home is my sanctuary and if it was invaded like that I would be furious.
Only 17 is no excuse for such behaviour and there was absolutely no need for the mother to enter your home.
He is playing one off against the other and has to learn that his behaviour is not acceptable.
Good luck!!0 -
Hope you change the locks. That's very disrespectful of them all, especially as you had tried to help your partners son. He sounds very immature and probably got defensive as he knows he is in the wrong. His mum should know better but maybe her son misled her as to why he wanted her there? Try to put it behind you. Unfortunately some people are just rude and will never change. Agree with your partner what happens next in term of boundaries so you work as a team and nobody accidentally undermines the other.0
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You've all been so helpful. My partner knows exactly where I stand on this and is aware that any repeat will involve the police. I stepped back, somewhat, only because he is my partner's son.
Once again, thank you everyone. I thought that maybe I was over reacting, but your comments have convinced me otherwise. X0
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