£29,303...Enough is enough!

mark55man · 4 November 2018 at 11:27PM

I think it is the monotony of debt busting that is the real problem. Made worse if you regard the old way of spending/living as the norm.

What we are all doing is rebaselining what is "normal", so you shouldn't begrudge not doing the stuff whilst secretly look forward to doing them again, you just need to accept and get past that the old ways were trouble.

That does leave you with the problem of life being dull forevermore, but that's not true. Youbegin to just enjoy all the free stuff more, and over time you create an edge for yourself
* less interest paid = more savings for you
* better mortgage deal = more savings for you
* more extra income / stable jobs = more savings for you

Every now and again you can choose to spend the savings on a bit of extravagance, just don't over spend.

Plus - having just gone back to ebay I 100% agree with you it is the most soul destrying thing out there. So stop for a while and try others - FB maretplace etc - they have disadvantages, but are a bit easier

I'm not perfect by any means, and have been comfortable enough to tackle things slowly, but secretly I wish we had just gone for it - there is a law of constant pain - either you pay off the money quickly and have a lot of pain of each year or you pay it off slowly and have less pain but for far longer. Extremes are bad, but hindsight suggests you should be as aggressive as you can, and then every now and again (but in a controlled way) loosen off when it all gets a bit too much. Like a chippy tea or a road trip

I don't mean to be patronising you've done so well, that's just how I see it

Treadingonplaymobil · 5 November 2018 at 6:08AM

mark88man wrote: »

I think it is the monotony of debt busting that is the real problem. Made worse if you regard the old way of spending/living as the norm.

What we are all doing is rebaselining what is "normal", so you shouldn't begrudge not doing the stuff whilst secretly look forward to doing them again, you just need to accept and get past that the old ways were trouble.

This is sooooo my trouble - I can't help look back to our old 'bad' ways with enormous nostalgia. Basically, life was a lot nicer back when we were happily in denial. And it's almost impossible to regard this new way as the norm and that old way as dead and gone for the foreseeable future. No sensible advice for you Welshkitty, but just wanted to say you're not the only one who finds it mind numbingly dull and depressing sometimes!

WelshKitty85 · 5 November 2018 at 9:35PM

Yes it's definitely the monotony that's the problem. I'd just like to be able to treat the children every now and then, and not worry about finding £14 for DC2s panto trip and £20 for DC1s performing arts uniform. We have never routinely overspent on day to day things, but it's the big purchases - £14,500 for home improvements last year, and £4,000 for DHs car - that have put us into debt.

Speaking of cars, DH and I have been discussing getting me a new (used) car today as mine is costing a fortune to run. I'm tied into a pcp agreement on my current car but have found a few garages that would let me trade it in to pay off the pcp, then take out a new agreement. We're looking at cars of a similar value so monthly payments should stay the same, but something more economical that will use less than half as much fuel, and is free to tax. It's a lot to consider and I won't be rushing in to anything.

DC3 and I are both poorly today with a sickness bug. I'm convinced he's picking up all these new bugs at childcare. Ive managed to get a few more surveys done, but overall have had a bit of a lazy day. I am feeling a bit more positive about things though and determined to get a plan of action in place. I've been looking around at mortgages and if we can overpay £1,500 in the next 12 months then our LTV will be below 90% when we come to remortgage, which will make a big difference to the interest rate. I think I need to prioritise this, whilst keeping in mind some of my 0% deals will be ending next year.

Chrystal · 6 November 2018 at 7:14PM

Having a plan of action is a massive step forward. It tells you where you want to be and what you have to do to get there. Seeing things in doable chunks makes it much easier to deal with, and I'm sure you can achieve it.
The good thing about DC3 picking up bugs from interacting with other children is that at least his immune system will have kicked in and hopefully things won't be as bad when he picks them up again.
Hope you're both feeling better soon. X

WelshKitty85 · 8 November 2018 at 9:07PM

I might just have a bit of good news. Some of you may know that I have a pcp agreement on my car. I'm 6 months in so can't hand it back at this stage. I pay £240 a month for 4 years, at the end of which I won't own the car, but will either have to pay a lump sum or hand it back. But I've found a garage that will to take the car off me and pay off the balance of the pcp, in return for me buying one of their (cheaper) cars. If it works out, my monthly payments will reduce by about £10 BUT I will own this car at the end of the 4 years. The new car will also be cheaper to fuel, tax, and insure.

I had a missed call from the garage today though and saw it too late to call back. I'm now worrying that they were calling to turn me down for their finance and say they can't help me.

I know £230 a month is still a big commitment, but I feel that this would be a step in the right direction, especially with the reduction in running costs and the fact I will own the car at the end.

WelshKitty85 · 10 November 2018 at 4:54PM

It's looking like I'll be picking up my new car in the next week. We've rejigged things a little bit and my monthly payments will now come down to £209. Although, we're tempted to take out their service plan at £15 a month. Either way, my monthly payments will reduce. I'll also get a £10 refund from my car insurance and around £75 car tax refund.

I sold £140 worth of items yesterday and spent £135 of it ordering DDs birthday present. Just a few small Christmas presents to buy now, but £50 amazon vouchers and £5 boots points should cover most of it.

DC1 & DC2 have cloth advent calendars with little pockets that I want to fill. I'll put in some chocolate coins, sweets, maybe a few £s and 50p's, but any other (inexpensive) suggestions for a 12 year old girl and 10 year old boy would be much appreciated.

I've set up a £75 per month overpayment for the mortgage to get us closer to the 90% LTV we want to be at when we remortgage next year.

WelshKitty85 · 12 November 2018 at 11:40PM

We had an awful weekend as my parents dog unexpectedly passed away. The children are heartbroken (as we all are really) and I'm feeling emotionally drained. It's been hard to concentrate on anything, but DD is performing in a big show at the end of the week and has rehearsals every night until then, so we need to get back to normality and focus on that.

I'm setting myself a mini challenge for the rest of the month - I have £90 cash in my purse (& DD owes me £5) so I'm going to try and keep my grocery shopping under this amount. I'm not sure how realistic this will be but my mum bought some nappies and wipes for DC3 today and we won't need to buy any more formula for him so this will all help.

DD finally gave us an idea of what she wants for Christmas so I ordered some items with my amazon vouchers. I have £28.38 left on my account and am close to cashing out another £10. I need another couple of presents and will check out the Black Friday deals, but anything that's left in my amazon account close to Christmas I thought I may place an amazon pantry order for some nice food over the holidays.

We sold an old phone today for £50. Have a few more items listed for sale so they will hopefully sell and give our finances a nice boost.

Starmummy · 13 November 2018 at 1:13PM

I really need to join you with the grocery challenge WK. I've let Mr Star take control this month and although not bad I'm feeling agitated at the lack of control (control freak ha ha)

You are doing really well on the selling. I have two bags of stuff to go and I've just not bothered listing a single item.

WelshKitty85 · 13 November 2018 at 4:41PM

Starmummy wrote: »

You are doing really well on the selling. I have two bags of stuff to go and I've just not bothered listing a single item.

It might seem that way but in reality my bedroom floor is covered in items that I've STILL not got round to listing. Must do better!

efes_shareholder · 13 November 2018 at 5:27PM

Sorry to hear about the passing of the family pooch

Its surprising how upset we get over them x

£29,303...Enough is enough!

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